A/N: Well, isn't the object of a cliffhanger to make you wonder whether someone's dead or not? The next ten chapters could be Diane dealing with Nikki's death...

I hear the ticking of the clock

I'm laying here, the room's pitch dark.

Diane couldn't pinpoint precisely when things had changed. There hadn't been a shocking moment where Nikki had suddenly appeared in a different light; it had just happened. Maybe it had always been there, but she didn't want to analyse; there was no point in it. The fact was, it had happened, and that was that.

Course, she never had any intention of pursuing Nikki. That seemed a ridiculous idea; and she wasn't about to put herself in that situation. Thoughts of Nikki were for the night; and as soon as she went into work her mind was wiped free of them. Within those walls the job was her focus, and she never considered mixing business with pleasure, so to speak.

She was so sure that she would never cross the line. She knew Nikki had a family, knew the unlikelihood of her feelings being reciprocated anyway. But it had melded into one incoherent argument that stopped comforting her. When you couldn't ignore something anymore, you faced it. You had to, that was just the way it went.

I wonder where you are tonight,

No answer on the telephone.

She'd never considered herself to be a jealous person. But Nikki brought out the worst in her. She loathed the thought of Nikki and Doug, seeing them together sliced into her sometimes. It was fortunate that she had her mask to hide behind. She doubted Nikki ever saw what she was truly thinking; and that wasn't lying, it was self-preservation. She needed that distance sometimes. But then, at other moments, she wanted to be so open. She was scared of it though. There, she'd admitted it. She was scared. Nikki had the power to make her unsure of herself.

If she'd known where Nikki would end up, if she'd anticipated the family disasters, would she have still pursued her? She could argue that it was all inevitable from the start. But if she'd had a premonition of how broken Nikki looked outside of the pub, would she have stopped it? Well, it would've been the right thing to do, but whether she could have walked away there and then was a different matter. It was just a pity she was so selfish.

And the night goes by so very slow,

I hope that it won't end, though, alone.

When Nikki had confronted her in the briefing room she'd had a particularly bad day. There hadn't been much sleep the night before, she'd been wound up the wrong way by a suspect and she'd just had enough. She hadn't been in the mood for hiding anymore, so she just hadn't.

She could still remember just how Nikki's eyes widened when she realised her intent. If she'd have stopped then, just before their lips met, she knew she would've got a slap and probably an official reprimand. Because before their lips touched they were only colleagues, and colleagues who didn't really get on at that. The second they kissed that changed. Nikki didn't pull away with the speed she should've, and there had been a moment of reciprocation, however much she'd deny that afterwards. Everything changed, just in the way you click your fingers. After that she wasn't willing to ignore how she felt, and she wasn't going to attempt to suppress it anymore either.

Till now, I always got by on my own,

I never really cared until I met you.

When Jo noticed the tension; that had been when she'd known for certain that Nikki wasn't just irritated about the kiss. It had been at the hospital- when Doug was trying to sort out the mess of the Fishers- that Jo had walked in on a dispute between them.

Nikki had left and she was about to disappear herself when Jo asked, 'So what's going on with you two then?'

'What do you mean, going on?' she queried, and her eyes had instinctively slipped to the corridor Doug had gone down.

'Well, you looked pretty cosy,' the DC answered, her head positioned in a way that suggested she had an inkling about the truth and the longer you lied about it the worse it was going to be.

'On my side, maybe,' she'd conceded with a shrug. 'She's not interested.'

'Right.'

The tone of voice had caused her to look up and frown. 'What?'

'Nothing.'

'No, come on. If you've got something to say…'

The detective just shook her head. 'I'm not saying anything. Her husband's around here somewhere. But, then, you know that.'

Jo had walked off after that, leaving her standing there. She'd had plenty of food for thought that night, especially after the incident in the pub toilets as well.

And now it chills me to the bone,

How do I get you alone?

How do I get you alone?

That night- that Tuesday- when she'd driven up purposefully to the Wright family home, she'd been angry. Nikki had every right to react to Jo's knowledge, but she hadn't thought she'd pull away quite that much. So she'd gone there to show her just how far she could go. Not something she was proud of afterwards, but at the time it had almost felt good.

Doug had opened the door with a relaxed smile. 'Oh, hi. Nikki's not back yet.'

'No, I know,' she'd replied, watching his face intently, knowing that doing so kept her mind focused on what she'd driven there to do. 'I just left her. It's you I wanna talk to.'

With a small shrug, he moved aside and allowed her to go into the living room. She sat in the armchair- it had positive connotations for her- and waited for him to speak. 'So, what's this all about?'

She almost stopped herself then, because he looked so contented. But she didn't. 'I didn't wanna be the one to tell you this, Doug,' she began.

He smiled uncertainly. 'Tell me what?'

She glanced up briefly. 'Nikki's been having an affair.'

His face crinkled a little then he laughed. 'No. Not Nikki! Where'd you get this from?'

'I know, alright?' she answered carefully.

Slowly, his grin faded and she was faced with a mask of worried seriousness. His hands had clenched in his lap, causing his knuckles to glow white. 'Who?' She'd shrugged her reply and watched his eyes. He got it soon enough. 'What, you?' Then he'd stood, turned away from her before looking back. 'This is some sort of joke.'

'It's not,' she said quietly.

He shook his head. 'Nikki isn't… Well, she wouldn't… You're lying,' he concluded, almost pleadingly.

She'd stood herself then, her stomach had suddenly threatened to fall as the realisation of what she couldn't take back hit her. 'I'm not.'

'Nikki wouldn't do that,' he insisted, even if his eyes illustrated it was a fact he was struggling to believe. 'Not with you. Not with anyone.'

She couldn't take it back, and she already had the sickening feeling that she and Nikki were over. So she actually really wanted to make it hurt. 'She loves me, Doug,' she said with a degree of certainty. It was something she'd believed back when Nikki had finally stayed the night with her. 'She won't admit it but she does. She spends every Friday night with me, in my bed. She hasn't seen her sister for months.'

Doug had simply watched her icily for a few moments. 'Get out,' he said eventually, his tone low. 'Get out of my house.'

She hadn't needed telling twice. She'd returned to her car across the road, but she hadn't been able to leave the street. Nikki returned an hour later and she waited for some kind of fireworks. Instead, she saw Doug at the window, lit by the backdrop of the living room, and she saw Nikki approaching him. She'd seen them embrace, and then she'd left, not knowing what else she was supposed to do.

You don't know how long I have wanted

To touch your lips and hold you tight.

She waited for the explosion for days, weeks even. The next time she'd seen Nikki, she thought that was it. She'd braced herself, but nothing happened. In fact, she'd found herself being favoured by her lover when everything kicked off with Liam. That was a bizarre feeling, but she hadn't been able to explain why to Nikki. It never occurred to her, on that long Tuesday night when she listened to the birds awakening outside her bedroom window, that Doug wouldn't say anything. For a while she couldn't believe that he hadn't, and then she just couldn't understand it. Finally, as she held a sobbing Nikki in her arms, she got it- he hadn't wanted to face this, and he hadn't wanted to lose her. It was something she could identify with completely.

Jo had said something to her once, that night at the pub when Doug had joined the group. She'd said, 'If you can smile at that bloke, and still want to sleep with his wife, it doesn't make a difference what I say to put you off; it's gonna happen.'

She could smile at Doug, she could befriend him and the family. She wanted Nikki too badly to let anything get in her way. Maybe she was being a bitch but she just wanted something too much for once.

You don't know how long I have waited

And I was gonna tell you tonight.

If Nikki hadn't slipped back into bed that night would they have just gone on in the pattern they'd perfected over the weeks? She thought so. Because as much as she wanted Nikki to admit it was more than just sex, she couldn't force it out of her; she couldn't lose her. She'd tried to be assertive, she'd tried to force it, but she'd gone back on her word the second Nikki looked at her in that special way of hers. She never could argue with that look.

Something else she could never do, not until the end, was admit she was in love to Nikki herself. She told Jo, she told Doug, she even managed to admit it to Liam when she found him on the roof; but still she couldn't look Nikki in the eye and say it until she'd already lost her. It was fear, she was scared of being rejected. She just wished she hadn't left it too long. Maybe it wouldn't have made any difference, but maybe it would have.

But the secret is still my own,

And my love for you is still unknown.

Everything had fallen apart in such a short space of time. She was used to that happening, but it still stung as much as it ever had. This was the one thing she wanted to last for as long as possible. But, no, that wasn't allowed. That reprieve she'd had when she'd stupidly spoken to Doug had ended the second she caught sight of Liam's incredulous face. In that moment she recognised everything had changed.

When she'd located him on the roof of a shop her one thought had been getting him down. He was edgy, shaking about, he could've gone over at any second. When he'd caught sight of her he'd angrily bounced about for five straight minutes, then he'd collapsed in a heap.

'Liam…' she started apprehensively, her eyes still flicking towards the roof edge. 'It…'

'Don't try and tell me it wasn't what it looked like,' he warned, his voice thick.

'I wouldn't insult your intelligence,' she answered, carefully approaching the form. 'But you shouldn't have seen it.'

He'd been quiet for the longest time. Then he raised his face and stared straight at her. 'You know, I thought for once someone gave a damn, someone who wasn't my dad and wasn't Nikki. But you were just using me to get close to her!'

'No. No, I wasn't. Liam, you're a great lad…'

'What about my Dad, eh? How could she do that to him?'

'Because you can't help who you fall in love with, mate,' she replied softly. 'It's not her fault and you shouldn't blame her.'

'Why?' he asked finally. 'Why her?'

'Liam, I know this isn't what you wanna hear, but it's complicated. It's not something you can turn on and off like a tap.'

Till now, I always got by on my own,

I never really cared until I met you.

She managed to get him home. She still wasn't sure how. Maybe he was just cried out. But he hadn't resisted anymore and she wasn't even sure if he'd mention what he'd seen ever again. That was why she'd gone into the house with him. Trouble was, the second she saw Doug's blazing face and Nikki's red eyes, she felt sick. She knew what had happened, and she could practically feel the loathing radiating from Nikki- it felt like a bullet to the stomach.

What should she have done, told Nikki before he could? She'd begun to believe he never would, and maybe if Liam hadn't discovered it, there would've been no catalyst, and they'd have stayed just as they were. In stasis. It was such a pretty place to be, especially in comparison to where they were now.

And now it chills me to the bone,

How do I get you alone?

How do I get you alone?

When she'd literally bumped into Inspector Gold in the corridor, that was when she was snapped out of the thoughts that had been plaguing her all morning. Gina wasn't alone; she had Smithy and Jo on her heels; and that was a sure sign there was something wrong.

'What's going on?' she asked, then seeing Jo's reaction to her arrival gave her the confirmation that she didn't want.

'We've got an officer down on the Cockcroft,' Gina answered, continuing to walk. 'Gunshot wound.'

'It's Nikki,' Smithy added.

She felt herself swaying, and then she was physically helped along by Jo. 'Come on,' the detective whispered sharply. 'You wanna get down there.'

'What happened?' she questioned shakily. 'Is she alright?'

Jo shook her head. 'I don't knoe.'

How do I get you alone?

How do I get you alone?

If it hadn't been for Jo's presence in the back of the car she would've probably gone crazy on the drive to the Cockcroft Estate. As it was, Jo kept her mind focused on the fact that Nikki was still alive; there'd been nothing to tell her otherwise. Still, when she got out of the car and saw the scene she felt herself fading again.

'Stay with me,' Jo hissed. 'Come on, Di.'

Nikki was on the concrete, surrounded by paramedics. Doug was a few yards away looking helpless. A man was curled in a ball crying near the garages at the back of the yard and Beth Green was running towards them. 'Ma'am!'

Gina Gold took charge. 'Beth, what happened?'

The younger officer was shaking, that was very noticeable. 'Sergeant Wright told me to go on ahead and interview Mrs Harmead. I got up there and I heard gunshots and I…'

'Slow down,' Jo instructed. 'How's Nikki?'

At least someone had asked the question. Beth's lip began to quiver. 'Her heart's already stopped once.'

With that, she abandoned the group. She didn't care that Gina Gold was calling her name, or that Jo was on her heels. She skidded to a halt and crouched down beside Nikki, seeing the gunshot wound still bleeding profusely despite the efforts of the paramedics.

She was pulled back onto her feet and she struggled. 'Get off me!'

Jo wouldn't relinquish her grip. 'You can't do this.'

Glancing to Doug, who was watching her and his wife alternately with an air of shock, she shook her head. 'It doesn't matter anymore.'

'What the hell is going on here?' Gina questioned as she arrived beside them. 'Diane?'

'I'm going in the ambulance, Ma'am,' she said, not removing her gaze from the stationary figure on the ground.

'What are you talking about?'

Jo sighed. 'Ma'am, maybe it's best if you let her go.'

Gina Gold didn't usually accommodate requests, but this one seemed to be the exception to the rule. That was how she found herself seated in the ambulance with Nikki and the silent form of Doug. They didn't speak on the way to the hospital, they just both watched.