A/N: I forgot to credit the song in the last chapter- 'Alone' by Heart. This one is 'I Close My Eyes' by Dusty Springfield which is one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard... Babbling over. The next update'll be on Wednesday because I'm going away for a few days!

It isn't the way that you look,

And it isn't the way that you talk.

Every time she closed her eyes she was faced with the brutal image of Nikki laying motionless on the ground. It became so bad that she didn't want to blink, no matter how much her eyes watered at the prospect. She wanted to just sit there and pray that, hopefully, the last couple of hours would be erased from history.

'Here.' Looking up, she took the coffee Doug handed her before he sat down a few seats away. 'Anything?'

'No,' she answered shortly.

What would Nikki say if she could see them sat together after all that had happened lately? She'd think the world was coming to some premature conclusion; that was the only thing that would provoke this truce of sorts. Then again, everything could be at an end yet, it all depended on what was going on past those red double doors.

It isn't the things you say or do

Make me want you so.

'Did she say anything?' Diane asked quietly after a lengthy silence where the only interruption had been yet more nurses rushing around.

'No,' Doug replied, his voice thick. 'She was already unconscious when I got there.'

If she died… If she didn't wake up… Diane squeezed her eyes shut at the idea then found herself plagued with a hideous vision and was forced to open them again. There was no escaping it.

When she'd woken up that morning, after a restless night of sleep, her thoughts had flicked to Nikki. Of course they had, they always did these days. She'd been thinking about their last discussion: the way Nikki had finally broken down in her arms and cried. It had been a long time coming but she felt she understood why it had taken so long- Nikki needed to accept something and maybe it was that meeting in the pub with Doug that had helped her. She'd thought that this might be the day, the day Nikki finally admitted she loved her. She hadn't been able to say she didn't, after all.

But even if it was never said… it didn't matter so much. She knew that now. All she wanted was a chance to kiss Nikki again. She just needed that opportunity.

It has nothing to do with the wine

Or the music that's flooding my mind.

Once she'd become aware of her true feelings for Nikki all those months ago, briefings, meetings, everything at work had been different. She spent half the days watching intently and the rest of the time trying to rid herself of the urge. She hadn't wanted anyone so badly in her entire life. Nikki had cast some sort of spell on her, without even breaking a sweat or thinking about it in the least. Some days she thought it was blatantly obvious how she felt; those were the days when her eyes never left Nikki if they could avoid it. Those were the days that led into the sleepless nights.

Nikki was intoxicating. And the most brilliant thing about it? She never realised it! No, more than that, she didn't seem to be able to accept it was a possibility. How stunningly beautiful she was just appeared to have passed her by. Maybe Doug didn't draw attention to it as often as it was deserved, but he should have said it every day. If she got the chance it'd be the first thing she'd say on a morning.

And never before have I been so sure

You're the someone I dreamed I would find.

'She chose you,' Doug said suddenly.

Diane looked sideways. 'What?'

His eyes were trained on his coffee. 'She wasn't coming home.'

Wiping away the tear that had just decided to make an appearance, she said, 'I know you won't believe it, but I never wanted any of this to happen.'

'It doesn't matter now, does it?' he questioned quietly. 'If she…'

'She's not gonna die,' Diane interrupted with much more confidence than she felt. 'Nikki's too strong. You know that.'

He was silent for a moment. 'What do I tell the kids?'

She watched him for a long second then she swallowed half the contents of her coffee cup in one gulp.

She'd never fallen for anyone in her life until Nikki; it hadn't been her style. Not even her ex-husband had found himself lumped in that category. And she'd stopped searching for anything remotely close to that a long time ago. It was an aggravation she didn't need: romance. Now she had fun, with no strings. Until Nikki…

Nikki had changed everything, without even realising it. She'd made her life outside of the job and outside her friends worth living. When she went home on a night she was usually forgotten about until the next day at work: Nikki changed that.

It's the way you make me feel

The moment I am close to you.

'She'll come home with you, Doug,' she said softly after a long couple of minutes.

He looked at her. She felt it, even if she didn't see it. 'You think so, do you?'

'Yep. I do.'

'Well, you're wrong,' he answered.

She shook her head and squeezed the remains of her plastic coffee cup so the liquid almost bubbled over the rim. 'She wouldn't do that to the kids. Or you. I knew that. That's why I never asked her to.'

There was a lengthy pause. 'Shall I tell you something about Nikki, hmm? She only cries, really cries, when she's with someone she trusts completely. Otherwise she won't break down, she can't do it.'

'She told you about last night,' she realised aloud.

'No,' he replied. 'I saw it. She wouldn't have told me. I don't know what you've done to her…'

'I haven't done anything to her,' she interrupted quietly.

'I think I've got grounds to argue that. My wife,' he went on after a moment, 'never had an affair before you. She certainly never looked at a woman before.'

'You know what I did, Doug?' she questioned, glancing at him. 'I fell in love. And right now I wish that I hadn't. Because if I hadn't, she wouldn't be lying in there, would she? And you can't make me feel any worse about that than I already do.'

Leaving him with that thought, she disappeared in the direction of the toilets.

It's a feeling so unreal,

Somehow, I can't believe it's true.

Resting her hands against the rim of the sink, she steadied herself. She had to stay calm, for Nikki's sake. But she was starting to doubt the wisdom of coming to the hospital in the first place. She completely believed in what she'd told Doug- Nikki would be going home with him. She'd choose him. No matter what she did or didn't feel, Nikki Wright was led by her conscience. Leave two girls with a broken home, leave Liam struggling yet again? No. That wasn't Nikki.

It wasn't something she'd ever brought up for that very reason. She hadn't wanted Nikki to split from Doug- not because she didn't want to be with her- because sometimes that's all she could think of- but for the simple reason of Nikki's happiness. Nikki couldn't be happy without her family. There was no way in hell she could make her happy. Was it just because they met so rarely that their time together was so good?

Then again, Nikki needed her, didn't she? The last couple of weeks had proved that.

Not that this remotely mattered at all. Nikki still could…

The pounding I feel in my heart,

The hoping that we'll never part,

I can't believe this is really happening to me.

Having left the toilets after ten minutes, she came face to face with Gina Gold as she proceeded back to the corridor outside Nikki's room. The look on the Inspector's face made her stand up straighter, mainly because anything could've happened to Nikki in ten minutes. 'Ma'am?'

'Well? How is she?'

Relaxing her shoulders slightly, she answered, 'No news yet.'

'Right.' Gina put her arm out and wafted her down the corridor towards a seating area. 'Maybe you can explain something to me.'

She closed her eyes briefly as she took a seat. 'Ma'am?'

'I don't appreciate my officers leaving me out of the loop, PC Noble. But I'll make it easy for you. Just answer me one thing: have you been having an affair with Nikki Wright?'

Not looking over, she replied, 'Yes.'

There was silence until Gina asked, 'Are you alright?'

Surprised, she glanced towards her Inspector. 'Sorry?'

'It's a simple enough question, PC Noble.'

'It's not me laying in a hospital bed,' she answered, watching her hands and their slight trembling.

I close my eyes and count to ten

And when I open them, you're still here.

'Nikki's tough,' Gina said decisively.

'Yeah. Maybe. Ma'am, I'm…' She trailed off and shrugged. 'I shouldn't have reacted the way I did earlier. I'm sorry.'

'It makes sense now. A lot of things do.' Gina paused. 'I take it Doug knows?'

She nodded. After a moment, she said, hesitantly and slowly, 'I never meant for this to happen.'

'Well, what we mean to happen and what actually goes on are usually two separate things in my experience.'

'I can't argue with that,' she answered, looking up and meeting Gina's eye. 'Nikki's not a bad person.'

'You don't have to tell me that.'

'I need to tell someone. It wasn't her fault, you know. It was mine.'

'That's not the important thing right now.'

'No. No, I know. But it's easier than thinking about…' Breaking off, she saw Doug approaching. 'What it is?'

I close my eyes and count again,

I can't believe it but you're still here.

'The bullet missed her vital organs,' the doctor explained to the three of them several minutes later. 'Her heart stopped again but we've stabilised her and removed the bullet. She isn't awake yet, but you're welcome to sit with her, Sir,' he added, directing the last comment at Doug.

Diane didn't look at either him or Gina. Her mind was processing the fact that Nikki was going to be alright: she could hardly believe it, thinking the worst was in her nature. She found herself smiling with relief, then she caught sight of Doug's face. He was also relieved but he looked lost. 'Thank you, Doctor,' he said eventually.

When the doctor had nodded and proceeded down the corridor, Gina said, 'I'll phone the nick.'

Diane watched her go then returned her gaze to Doug. 'It's great news.'

He nodded. 'Of course it is.'

Though it cut deep into her, she said, 'You should be in there when she wakes up.'

'I'm not kidding myself it's me she'll want to see,' he answered.

As he moved down the corridor, she called after him, 'The kids then.'

Turning, he opened his mouth then closed it again. 'Yeah,' he said finally. 'The kids.'

We were strangers a moment ago,

With a few dreams but nothing to show.

Very carefully she took a seat next to the bed. For a person who'd been shot Nikki looked remarkably normal. There was still a hint of a smile on her lips, or perhaps it was just something she wanted to see there. Either way, Nikki was gonna be okay. That was all that mattered.

For a couple of hours she sat there watching the woman she loved sleeping, almost peacefully. Then there was a cough behind her and, seeing Jo standing in the doorway holding the door open for her, she followed the detective out into the corridor.

'How is she?' Jo questioned.

'Um…' Her mind was clouded, it took her a few moments for her to realise that it was probably the late hour that was causing that. It was amazing how little time mattered when things like this happened. 'She'll be okay, I think. She hasn't woken up yet.'

'Where's Doug?'

'He went to get the kids ages ago. I think…' Resting her back against the wall, she shook her head. 'I don't know what I think.'

Her friend put an arm around her shoulders. 'Come on. Let's get some caffeine in you. Always does the trick.'

The world was a place with a frown on its face,

And tomorrow was just… I don't know.

'I should've walked away,' she said, staring into her warm cup. 'None of this would've happened.'

'You said yourself,' Jo answered, leaning back into her own plastic seat, 'she'll be alright.'

'What, she'll come round and everything that's happened in the last couple of months'll just go right out of the window? No, not likely. I was just… I was stupid, that's all. Thought I could put off the inevitable. Turns out all I managed to do was hurt her even more. She broke down, Jo,' she continued quickly and bitterly. 'Last night. She just sobbed into my arms. And I caused that. If I hadn't…'

'There's no point wishing you can change what you can't,' Jo interrupted reasonably. 'It just makes you feel like crap. Look,' she went on, 'the way I see it, it only got as far as it did because she felt the same. I don't care what tricks you know, you can't make someone risk what she did for nothing.'

She briefly smiled. 'Yeah, but I did the running.'

'Yea, but like I said, it doesn't matter now. You've gotta get through the next couple of hours, the next week, the next whatever. You can't do that if you're on a constant guilt-trip, can you? She's gonna need you.'

But it's the way you make me feel

The moment I am close to you.

'I love her, Jo.'

'I know you do.'

'Doug said she chose me,' she went on eventually with a tired shrug. 'I don't know if it's the truth but…'

'I think it might be,' her friend said quietly. 'I talked to her the other day, and she said it's you she wants, not Doug.'

Diane frowned. 'But the…'

'Yeah, I know: the family. But she wants you. God help her.'

She raised a small smile at that then she returned to her brooding. 'What if I can't make her happy? What if she's changed her mind?'

'And what if she hasn't?' Jo retorted. 'You can't tell me this isn't what you've wanted all along..'

'No, of course I want it,' she answered. 'But I want her to do what's right for her. Besides, I've never made anyone happy in my life.'

'Well, there's always a first time for everything.'

'I'm scared,' she admitted with a grim shrug. 'There, I said it.'

Jo shook her head. 'I'll let you in on a little secret: I already knew.'

Makes the day seem so unreal,

Somehow I can't believe it's true.

When Jo had gone she didn't return to Nikki's side. Instead she got herself another coffee and sat in the corridor outside of the room.

Could she make it work with Nikki? She wanted to. She really wanted to. But could she actually do it in reality?

No.

Maybe.

She wanted to. The thing was, she'd never allowed herself to think that Nikki would leave Doug for her so she hadn't ever really contemplated what would happen if she did. They were great together, but that didn't necessarily guarantee it would work in the long term. She was liable to get crabby, Nikki would miss her happy little family life and then… They'd end up hating each other. That was what usually happened in cases like this.

Still, she couldn't help but remember the look on Nikki's face the first time they'd actually spent the night together. That was a moment she wished she could frame, because if she ever forgot it she'd hate herself. Nikki's eyes had stared straight into hers and asked if it was okay that she stayed. If she hadn't already been besotted that would've done it, no question.

Tomorrow, will you still be here?

Tomorrow will come but I fear

That what is happening to me is only a dream.

If she pinched herself she half thought she'd wake up. Wake up six months ago, before she'd realised her feelings for Nikki weren't just one-sided. But then, a small voice whispered, she wouldn't have had the best couple of months of her life, would she? She was selfish, she didn't want to have to relinquish those memories, especially if they were the only ones she was going to have.

'Any change?'

She looked up, surprised at Doug's return. He was alone and she wondered where the hell he'd been for half of the night, but she wasn't exactly going to ask him. 'No. I was just…'

'You don't have to explain,' he answered crisply.

'Doug,' she said tentatively, 'can I say something?'

He shrugged as he sat down next to her. 'You've slept with my wife, I think we've established you can do what you want.'

That forced her to take a moment. 'I'm sorry,' she said finally, truly meaning it.

I close my eyes and count to ten

And when I open them you're still here.

Doug watched her for a long time. 'Nikki's really something, I hope you know that.'

She nodded carefully. 'Yeah, I know.'

'All I want is for her to wake up,' he went on after a second. 'Give my girls their mum back. I can't think past that right now.'

'Me neither,' she answered honestly.

'So we agree on something. That's good.'

She drained her coffee cup, and moved to put it in the bin. When she turned back, she said, 'You can go in and sit with her.'

Doug shook his head. 'No.'

'Look, when she wakes up…'

'She'll want you,' he interjected. 'I lied before,' he added. 'I said she was unconscious when I got to the scene. She wasn't.'

Glancing sharply to him, she refrained from voicing her anger. 'And?'

'She asked for you. It was the last thing she said.' He studiously avoided looking at her and simply went on, 'She shouldn't be alone.'

I close my eyes and count again,

I can't believe it but you're still here.

The door slipped shut behind her with a thunk. Sitting beside Nikki, she took her hand and rubbed it.

'If you wake up,' she whispered, tracing her thumb over the back of the hand, 'I'll make it worth your while. Promise. You know, I… I love you, Nikki. Just need you to know that.'

Feeling her fatigue overcoming her, she rested back in her chair and closed her eyes. The next thing she was aware of was movement. At first she thought it was her own, but then she opened her eyes and saw fingers scraping over blankets.

'Nikki…' she said, relief washing over her, as she took the hand again.

Her lover blinked several times then tried to speak. 'D…'

Mind flicking back to the man outside in the corridor, she sighed, squeezed the hand and stood. 'He's outside. I can get him.'

Nikki seemed to shake her head. 'Di…'

She sat back down suddenly. 'Hiya.'

Somehow, Nikki's hand moved up to her cheek. 'I do love you.'

The emotion that washed over her was probably a mix of relief, fatigue, surprise and happiness, but she didn't analyse. She was too busy burying her head into Nikki's embrace to care.