A/N: I am officially an over-sentimentalized nitwit! The song in this chapter is 'You Needed Me' by Boyzone and if you ignore the cheese of who sang it, it's got some damn fitting lyrics to the Nikki/Di relationship as a whole. Stay tuned for an announcement in the next and final chapter.

You needed me.

It was a still April night. Neither cold nor warm for the time of year, just an average evening really. Nikki walked with her hands resting in her coat pockets, more for the comfort of it than anything else. She half wanted to reach over and take her lover's hand as they walked but, considering the evening they'd just had, she wasn't sure if Di wanted to be left alone in her head or not. She didn't want to impose until they were both ready to talk about it.

If she was honest, the easy silence gave her a little processing time as well. The last few days had been fairly hectic, what with Rebecca's birthday and a full-scale kidnap investigation at work, and to go straight from that into a dinner with Diane's son and ex was a bit of a tall task. As much as she felt embarrassed at even the thought, Nikki had to admit the evening had concerned her beforehand. She wanted to know more about Di- it sometimes really frustrated her that she had no idea what was going round the constable's head- but she didn't want to discover something that might change them in any way. Though, truthfully, she felt she needed Di too much now to let anything stand in their way. Still, however, the thought had niggled that meeting Robert and Steve could change everything.

I cried a tear, you wiped it dry.

'You're not talking,' Diane said eventually after they'd crossed at a busy junction and moved onto a quieter street.

'Neither are you,' Nikki pointed out.

'I was waiting for you to.'

'That's what I was doing.'

Diane plunged her hands into her pockets. 'Go on. I know there's loads of things you're dying to ask me. Might as well get it over with.'

She didn't speak right away. Instead, she collected her thoughts as best she could. 'Why didn't you tell me?' she questioned finally, glancing sideways.

Shrugging, her lover answered, 'No one at Sun Hill knows. Well, except John.'

'Okay, but…'

'I know it's different, Nikki,' Diane interrupted. 'Why do you think we're here now?'

'You still haven't actually told me anything yourself. You let them do it.'

'I don't talk about it much if I can help it.'

'But you do think about it?'

'Yeah. More than I care to.'

Nikki let the silence drag on as they walked the length of the street. 'This isn't the way back to the hotel is it?' she inquired.

'I thought we'd take a walk,' Diane replied. 'If you don't mind.'

She shrugged. 'Course not.'

I was confused, you cleared my mind.

There was something endearing in the way Diane wasn't looking at her. It was a side Nikki had barely encountered before. The closest she'd seen Diane to open had been… Well, a few occasions sprung to mind. When she'd woken up in the hospital to find Diane there waiting; the day before that when she'd begged her to listen- and that had been the first time she'd actually accepted Jo's admission of how Di felt, seeing the pain harboured within her face when she was pushed away. And after she'd kissed Doug… Diane had begun to open up then about her marriage.

If Nikki didn't know any better she'd document Diane's state of mind at the moment as being fearful. But Diane didn't do scared, at least PC Diane Noble didn't. That was half the trouble: Nikki could guess at what was the façade and what wasn't but she could never be certain. Not until Diane started talking to her at any rate.

However, she was aware she had little room to criticise on this one. How long had it been before she'd seriously started opening up to Diane about how she really felt? It had taken her getting shot before she could even admit she loved her. And Diane had just taken the rebuttals and accepted the fact that she might be being used. Of course, she probably knew deep down that wasn't the case but, even so, she hadn't pressed for answers when perhaps she had the right to.

I sold my soul, you bought it back for me.

'Steve seems nice.'

Diane briefly smiled. 'Yeah, he is. We just weren't right for each other, that's all.'

Nikki didn't answer straight away. She watched her lover for a few seconds before saying, 'You do know he took me into the kitchen and gave me his blessing while you were in the loo, don't you?'

The constable blushed slightly. 'Did he?'

'Mmm. Surprised me a bit.'

'Yeah, well…' Diane shrugged and glanced to her. 'Let's just say I'd had a few on Christmas Day and ended up blurting out a few things.'

'Really?'

'Nothing I'm likely to repeat either,' Di answered casting her a knowing look.

'Shame,' Nikki commented. 'Sure I couldn't persuade you?'

'There's not enough booze in the universe.'

'It wasn't alcohol I was thinking of using,' she replied.

And held me up and gave me dignity.

'I haven't lied,' Diane said suddenly. 'I've just been a bit economical with the truth.'

'I didn't say anything,' Nikki objected.

'No, but you were thinking it.'

'I wasn't, I was just…' Shrugging, she went on, 'I can't understand how we've gone so long without you mentioning it. It feels like you've always been guarding it.'

'Mmm, I know the feeling,' answered Diane with a soft smile. 'Only difference is, you were guarding yourself, not some… secret.'

'It doesn't make it all that different. You were protecting yourself too. You thought I'd reject you because of it.'

'A couple of months ago, you might've,' argued her lover. 'You know that as well as I do.'

'So you're saying you trust me now, is that it?'

Diane didn't answer. Instead she watched a teenage cyclist jittering around on the opposite pavement. When she did speak she didn't respond to the question; something Nikki had expected. After all, that was a little too easy. 'Ask me about the accident, if that's what you want.'

And held me up, and gave me dignity.

The cyclist fell off after swerving to miss a pedestrian and Nikki half-smiled. Then she refocused her attention on the woman walking next to her. 'How long was he in the wheelchair for?'

'Six months. They thought it might be permanent at first but…'

'He was lucky then,' Nikki replied. 'He certainly seems to think so.'

'He's got a good outlook, I guess. Gets that from his dad.' Glancing over, she shook her head. 'Don't look at me like that.'

'Like what?'

'He's nothing like me, Nikki. Gets nothing from me.'

'I disagree,' she answered. 'He's got your smile.'

Diane looked back to the ground. 'Let's hope that's it.'

That was the essence of the problem really, wasn't it? Diane was confident in herself because she'd come to terms with the person she was; she'd learned to live with that. But to have to imagine the qualities that you yourself disliked being passed on to the next generation was difficult. Liz and Liam were prime examples. Liz at some point had to come to terms with the fact that her son was too much like her and liable to crack somewhere down the line. What you passed onto your children wasn't always pleasant. Inherent fear, maybe. The ability to lie, perhaps. God knows she hoped neither of the girls had inherited that from her because, apparently, she was quite good at deception. Their teenage years would be a nightmare had they got her ability to look someone in the face and lie to them.

Still, she thought, looking sideways, there were some things that you had to lie about. At least at first. You had to be ready to tell the truth, else you might not actually know what the truth was. She couldn't have told Doug about her and Diane because, until she'd been shot, she couldn't admit how she felt. And perhaps that was why Diane had kept her own past secret for so long- she had to be ready.

Somehow you needed me.

'I was the pessimist,' Diane said, interrupting her train of thought. 'I didn't think he'd walk again. See, unlike Steve, I looked it up. Saw all the possible outcomes, looked at the figures, and I just… Well, I've never believed in miracles so…'

'Steve did?' Nikki questioned quietly.

'He just believed in Robert. I suppose I didn't.'

'There's a fine line between pessimism and realism, you know.'

Diane faintly smiled. 'My pessimistic streak reckoned you'd give me a slap the first time I kissed you.'

'And I probably should've,' she concurred. 'There you go: realism.'

Sighing, Di muttered, 'I'm sorry.'

'What for?'

'Not leaving you well alone.'

Nikki shook her head. 'Don't apologise for that.'

You gave me strength to stand alone again.

They were getting further away from the hotel but she didn't draw attention to the fact. She knew Diane was walking with a destination in mind and she supposed she'd understand when they got there. In the meantime, she still had some things she wanted to clarify.

'You were driving weren't you?' she asked carefully.

Diane's head immediately turned and she said, half-disbelieving, 'Robert told you that?'

'No. But I am a copper, you know.'

'Should've known I couldn't fool you, eh?'

'It's best not to try,' she retorted with a shrug.

For more than a minute Diane seemed to concentrate on simply putting one foot in front of the other. 'Yeah,' she said abruptly. 'I was driving him home from his mate's. Eight o'clock, Tuesday night. August 12th if you wanna know. The other car came out of nowhere. I didn't see it and…'

When she trailed off, Nikki tentatively prompted, 'Robert said you were injured too.'

Diane shook her head dismissively. 'My back. Nothing half as bad him.'

'That scar near the base of your spine?' she probed.

'Yeah. Debris flying through the rear window as we… It's fine. It healed.'

'So did Robert,' Nikki reminded her.

To face the world out on my own again.

'The back of the car got the worst of it. I lost control, the other car clipped us so we spun out and… It was ruled as mechanical failure. No human error. But I still…' She shrugged. 'It's a long time ago, you know? Hindsight's pointless. Makes you think you could've changed things when you couldn't have; not really. Most of the time I know I couldn't have done anything different. It's just… When you lie awake at night and you end up thinking and you can't sleep so you…'

'You know it wasn't your fault though,' Nikki interrupted. 'Mechanical failure can't be predicted.'

'Doesn't stop me thinking I could've done something sometimes. I was in the car, I was supposed to be looking after him.'

'By the look of it, Steve doesn't blame you.'

'Maybe he should,' Diane replied. 'I was arguing with Robert right before the accident. Maybe it was a lapse of concentration, I don't know. Sometimes I think I caused it, sometimes I don't. Think it depends on my mood. And how many I've had to drink.'

You put me high upon a pedestal.

'It wasn't the crash, you know.'

'What wasn't?'

'I wasn't the ideal mother before it. Never could get my head round the concept. I mean, I look at you and…'

'Everybody's different,' Nikki cut in.

Diane shook her head. 'I was planning on leaving before the accident. I couldn't hack being a full-time parent. And afterwards, I just… I ran off and joined the police force the second he was out of that chair. Couldn't hack being there anymore.'

There was another lengthy silence. Nikki was working out what to say next in her head; something that wouldn't give Di any false impressions about how she was reacting to all this. 'I reckon,' she said finally, 'that I'm like I am because of having to look after Annie most of her life. There's a five year gap between us, my parents were always working, trying to make ends meet; I ended up practically raising her. I just got used to being like that, I suppose.'

'Only child,' Diane said. 'Tomboy. Always the centre of attention, always hated it. Had my mum down the school every other week for chats with the teachers.'

'Troublemaker?'

'Misunderstood,' replied the constable with a smirk.

So high that I could almost see eternity.

'When I was eighteen,' Nikki began after a long inward debate, 'Annie was thirteen. Just getting rebellious, just starting to hate everybody. You know how it is.'

'Liam skipping that stage, is he?'

She smiled briefly. 'I hope so. Andy didn't and that was a barrel of laughs.'

'Then there's the girls to think about…' Diane began with an innocent glance towards her.

'I'm not thinking about that till it happens,' Nikki warned. 'Anyway, Annie didn't want anything to do with me anymore. Which was fine, I didn't particularly wanna be running around after my little sister when I had better things to do. And, no,' she added quickly, 'you don't get to know what they were either.'

'Spoilsport.'

'I'd lose my indefinable sense of mystery.'

'Oh, that's what that smell is!'

Nikki slapped her. 'I was going somewhere with this, you know.'

'I thought you were just rambling,' Diane answered with a slight grin. 'As per usual.'

You needed me.

After they'd crossed the next road, she continued, 'One night I'm supposed to be watching Annie but there's this bloke down the road I really wanna go out with. Annie reckons she'll be fine, I believe her and I go. The date's a complete wash-out and I'm back by nine o'clock to find Annie with an older lad. He was coming on heavy, scared her half to death I think. Now that one was my fault. I shouldn't have left her.'

'Is that why you always let her walk over you? Guilt?'

'I don't let her walk all over me!' she objected.

'Nikki, she's turned up drunk on your doorstep twice in the last three months to my knowledge.'

'I had to let her in!'

'Yeah, and you kicked me out!' Diane answered. 'Really nice, that was.'

'She's my sister,' Nikki argued softly. 'I can't turn my back on her.'

'She's a mess,' Diane replied plainly.

'So's Liz. Liam'll never turn his back on her, like I can never do it to Annie.'

You needed me.

'And what about those people who can do it?'

Nikki shook her head. 'You haven't turned your back on Robert. You're still around.'

'Yeah, barely,' Diane replied with a touch of bitterness. 'If Steve didn't make the effort to keep me in the loop I wouldn't know the first thing about what was going on in his life.'

'Well, you obviously wanna be more involved,' Nikki said eventually. 'What's stopping you?'

Diane shrugged. 'Maybe me not knowing what I want and what I don't. And there's a big difference between wanting to be more involved and actually being there. I don't stick around when things get difficult, that's not what I do.'

'Right, so the last six months have been smooth sailing for us, have they?'

'That's different.'

'How is it?'

'I don't know, it just is.'

'You know what I think?' Nikki asked.

Diane glanced sideways. 'I'm sure you're gonna enlighten me.'

'You're scared,' she answered simply.

And I can't believe it's you.

They seemed to have arrived somewhere. It was what would be a busy junction, Nikki supposed, during the rush hour but at night just a few cars whizzed aimlessly by, their headlights gleaming harshly against the glass front of an office building nestled on one of the corners.

Diane halted and rested her back against a lamppost, her eyes focused on the opposite side of the road to where they were. Then she held up her hand. 'Over there, that was where we were coming from.' She then pointed to the road coming from their right. 'Other car came down there, went through the lights, clipped the front as we were coming across and it ended up in that field there. We,' she went on, 'spun one hundred and eighty degrees, catapulted backwards into an old warehouse; used to be where the offices are.'

'You're lucky you both weren't killed,' Nikki muttered, following the accident in her mind.

'It was luck that damaged his spine was it?' Diane queried.

'Why, what would you call it?'

'It just didn't feel very lucky, that's all.'

'Robert thinks it was.'

'Yeah, well, he was the fortunate one. He was unconscious for three days. He didn't have to see it all.'

I can't believe it's true.

'Were you conscious?' Nikki questioned. 'Straight after the crash?'

'Off and on. First thing I remember clearly was this pain in my back. I was practically pinned to the seat by this shard of piping that had come through. I managed to turn my head and…' Pausing, she then grimly smiled. 'Well, it wasn't pretty, put it that way. I thought he was dead,' she added honestly.

Nikki squeezed her arm after a moment of deliberation. 'You don't have to tell me this.'

'But I do, don't I?' Diane replied. 'Because this is different now. It's not just a bit of fun.'

'Can I ask you something?' Nikki said carefully.

'Yeah, go ahead.'

'When was the last time you properly talked about this?'

Diane exhaled and shrugged. 'Day after the accident to the investigation team.'

'You haven't talked about it in five years?'

'I didn't see the point '

Nikki frowned. 'I don't understand how you can keep something like this to yourself for so long. Or why, for that matter.'

'Steve,' Diane chipped in, correctly pre-empting her, 'had enough on his plate. He had Robert to think of.'

'You still could've…'

'I couldn't talk to him, Nikki,' her partner interjected. 'I never felt… right doing it.'

I needed you and you were there.

Even Nikki had to admit the absurdness of the situation. Had she been asked a year ago if she and Diane Noble would ever be… right… for each other she'd have laughed. So would everyone else, she imagined. But it was no laughing matter now. She'd known the mask was protecting something but she hadn't expected all this. But what probably worried Diane most in telling her was likely the notion that she'd run away because of it all. That was far from the case.

Diane was biting down on her lower lip. 'You okay?'

Smiling, Nikki kissed her briefly. 'Fine.'

'You wanna get back to the hotel?'

She nodded. 'Yeah.'

Diane began walking. 'Suppose you're getting ready to pack.'

Nikki chuckled. 'You'd like that, wouldn't you?' Catching her up, she took her hand. 'No chance.'

And I'll never leave, why should I leave?

When they arrived back at the hotel twenty minutes later after an almost silent journey, Diane locked herself in the bathroom. Nikki took the opportunity to check her voicemail messages. Having turned off her mobile to avoid interruptions through dinner she found she had two voicemails and three text messages. All from Doug's phone, though evidently not courtesy of him.

Diane emerged from the bathroom drying her face on a towel. 'Anything interesting?'

'Rebecca wants a hamster. Doug's told her she can have it at my place.'

'That your punishment for leaving for a couple of days, is it?'

'Seems to be.' Noticing Diane's red eyes, she asked, 'Have you been crying?'

'No, course not.'

'Right.'

There was a pause then her lover looked up. 'Nikki, I… I don't know if I did the right thing. You know, bringing you here.'

Nikki smiled and approached Diane, wrapping both arms around her waist and forcing her to look her in the eye. 'You did the right thing.'

'I feel like hell,' Diane confessed. 'I feel…'

She broke her off with a deep kiss, pressing their bodies closer together. 'It hasn't changed anything.'

'Hasn't it?'

Nikki slowly nuzzled into her neck. 'No.'

I'd be a fool.

Diane had been quiet for a while now. Nikki didn't so much mind- she never stopped being surprised by how right the sensation of holding her partner after making love felt- but she was worried that Di was lost in her own negative thoughts. She half wanted to speak and make certain that everything was okay, but she didn't want to intrude. She contented herself with dropping a kiss onto the top of her head.

Diane glanced up. 'What was that for?'

'Do I need a reason?'

'I'm alright, you know.'

'I didn't say otherwise, did I?'

Settling back down, Di muttered, 'No, but it's what you were thinking.'

'Well, you are being a bit quiet,' Nikki admitted, beginning to unconsciously massage her shoulders. 'And you're tense.'

'I'm just going over some stuff, that's all. I suppose you'll wanna know what.'

'I'm nosy.'

'Tell me about it.' Diane cleared her throat. 'If you must know, I'm wondering what the hell I'm doing here.'

Cos I've finally found someone who really cares.

'Charming,' Nikki commented.

Diane shuffled upwards, leaving her skin feeling suddenly rather cool and bereft. For a moment Nikki thought she might leave the bed altogether but instead Di rested back against the headboard and slipped a hand over onto her knee. 'I didn't mean it like that.'

Running her nails up her arm Nikki rested her fingers on her lover's shoulder. 'Go on.'

There was a short silence. 'I didn't have it all planned out,' Diane said finally, 'but I never expected to be here with you. I thought… Oh, I dunno. Nikki, I've never held out for anything in my life. If you do that you just get trampled on. I didn't want that. I've always avoided it if I could.'

'So what changed?' Nikki queried tentatively, running a couple of strands of silky hair through her fingers.

'I couldn't sleep,' the constable went on eventually. 'I felt like I couldn't do the job properly. Half the time I felt like I was walking around with a neon sign plastered to my head telling everyone that I… Then the rest of the time I could stick it. I kept telling myself that it wasn't real. It was just different. And being a bit different doesn't make something right.'

You held my hand when it was cold.

'I promised myself I'd back off,' she continued after a lengthy pause. 'I didn't like you most of the time, the idea that there was anything else was completely crazy. Besides, I didn't do serious.' Diane sighed and glanced to her. 'I'm sorry, I'm rambling.'

Nikki shook her head and gently drew her closer for a tender kiss. 'No, you're not.'

'You want me to carry on?'

'Mmm-hmm.'

'Do I have to?'

'Mmm-hmm.'

Diane slowly nodded. 'Okay.' Looking back to the opposite wall, she went on, 'All I wanted for months was to get you out of my head. I mean, I even blamed you for it at the beginning, as if you'd planned it or something. I almost hated you sometimes. But then… When I…' She trailed off. 'I can't…'

'Come here,' Nikki instructed, enveloping her in something of a sideways hug. 'You don't have to.'

Her lover pulled away. 'I do though. It's not fair to just expect you to… I should've told you about Robert before.'

'I understand why you didn't.'

'Do you?'

When I was lost you took me home.

After taking a steadying breath, Diane said, 'I kissed you because I let my guard down. I couldn't help it.'

'Because of the anniversary?' Nikki queried quietly.

Diane seemed slightly surprised she'd connected the dots. 'Yeah. Things just got on top of me, that's all.'

Watching her, Nikki murmured, 'Are you ever going to believe that's not a terrible thing?'

'What, so it's fine to have people knowing what's going in your head all the time?'

'Some people, yes! You can't keep everything bottled up! It just doesn't work like that.'

'It feels safer that way.'

'So you decided you didn't fancy playing safe anymore, is that why you're telling me all this?'

'I'm telling you,' Diane answered, 'because if I didn't, I'd lose you. I mean, you might not think so but… This is me. This is what I do. I wreck things.'

'What happened with Robert wasn't your fault!'

'What happened with Doug was!'

Nikki fell silent as she found she didn't have an immediate retort for that. Slipping her hand back over Diane's exposed thigh, she finally said, 'It happened, that's all.'

'I pushed too hard.'

'No, you made me… You made me feel again,' she said, frowning at her own inadequacy with words. 'I didn't even know I was missing something.'

You gave me love when I was at the end.

'When you took your leave, I think that's when I accepted it. That what I felt was more than… It was more than I knew how to handle at first. I didn't set out to ruin everything for you but… I guess I'd never really been in love before. Didn't know how to cope. End of story. You know the rest. Breaking up your marriage, ruining your life: blah, blah, blah.'

When Diane made to slip out of the bed, Nikki gripped her arm. 'Di, I love you. And it's different to everything else I've ever known. I can't explain it. And I don't try too hard to be honest. I'll start thinking I've gone mad.'

'Well, you must've,' Diane muttered, relenting and moving back beside her. 'No other logical explanation.'

'Can you do me a favour please?' Nikki asked.

'What?'

'Stop trying to get rid of me. Because it won't work. You've gone and got yourself stuck with me now.'

'My own stupid fault, was it?' Di questioned, a hint of a smile tugging at her lips.

'Completely,' Nikki replied, squeezing her hand. 'Nothing you can do about it.'

Diane's face slowly grew serious again. 'You were right,' she said suddenly. 'I am scared. I'm petrified. I don't know how to do this- you and me. And I don't know what to do about Robert. I mean, I know that he's close to hating me and…'

'He doesn't hate you,' Nikki interrupted. 'He's your son.'

And turned my life back into truth again.

'I didn't like my mum much,' Diane said. 'Always trying to make me into something I wasn't. She wanted me to do ballet, I wanted to do football. Downhill from then on really.'

'I did ballet,' Nikki admitted. 'And tap till I was thirteen.'

Diane grinned. 'Really? You kept that quiet.'

'It's not something I broadcast.'

'Shame. Nikki?'

'Yep?'

'Will you do me a favour now?'

As Diane shifted her weight so her legs rested over her own, Nikki merely nodded. She wasn't in the right state of mind to say no. Somehow she rarely was with Diane.

'Admit you let Annie walk all over you.'

She exhaled. 'Why is that so important to you?'

'I like being right,' she said with a shrug.

'Okay,' Nikki conceded, 'Maybe I do a bit. But she's my sister. If you can't help out family…'

'My family,' Diane interrupted, 'never gave a damn about anyone who couldn't do something for them. Always had to be a point to it.'

'And that's how you've lived your life?'

'It's not such a bad way of doing things. No worrying if you've offended someone, if you don't need them you just forget about them. Simple.'

You even called me friend.

Breaking the silence after a few minutes, Di muttered, 'I'm sorry. I'm talking crap.'

'Mmm,' she agreed. 'But you're talking. It's a novelty. I like it.'

'Don't know why.'

'Maybe because I'm finally getting to know what goes on in your head?' she offered.

Diane smiled softly. 'You wanna know something?'

'I'm all ears,' Nikki replied, resting her hand once again on her lover's leg.

'In the last few months I've been happier than I can ever remember being in my life. For once I'm not… I haven't been hiding anything. I haven't tried to be someone I'm not. I haven't had to pretend and, you know what, it's been fantastic. I'm happy,' she concluded with a shrug. 'And I have to admit, it scares me.'

'Why?'

'I don't wanna mess things up. I'm terrifed I'm gonna hurt you…'

'You haven't so far,' Nikki reminded her, squeezing her thigh.

'Don't worry, it'll happen. It's just the way it goes.'

'Di,' she said after a moment, 'You can't live your life like that, always wondering if what's around the next corner'll ruin everything. That's not a life.'

'I know that but… This is the problem: I haven't done this before and I haven't ever made someone else happy before, Nikki.'

You gave me strength to stand alone again.

Instead of replying, Nikki just began massaging little circles on Diane's skin. How to explain that she was happy now, more content than she'd been for a while despite still struggling with the concept of not living with her daughters? It was strange, and occasionally she almost laughed aloud at the fact that she was having these kind of conversations with Diane Noble. Who'd ever have thought it?

Yet here they were. And she could say with sincerity that there was nowhere else she'd rather be. She was contented; happy. And while she wasn't stupid enough to believe they'd remain on an even keel for very long- how could they with them both working at Sun Hill- she was optimistic that it wouldn't finish what they had together.

She needed Diane and she was growing to accept the fact the constable needed her as well. What they shared went beyond what she'd had with Doug, bizarrely enough. At the time she'd thought that was the most intense experience of her life but this… Sometimes she thought she was crazy, other times she thought this was the sanest she'd ever been.

To face the world out on my own again.

'You've gone quiet again,' Di commented.

'Have I?' she said, smiling as she rested her head back.

'What you thinking about?'

'You really wanna know?'

'Why else would I ask?'

She ran her fingers up to nestle in Diane's palm. 'I was thinking how happy I am.'

Diane snorted. 'Liar.'

'Nope. Honestly.'

'You're sleep-deprived.'

'Yeah, course that's it,' Nikki answered with a grin.

Letting out her breath, Diane slowly nodded. 'I hate the idea of hurting you, Nikki.'

'You can't shield yourself from doing that. If you try, you're not really being honest with them in the first place. Defeats the object.'

'You've made me feel guilty, you know,' Diane continued suddenly.

'Guilty about what?'

'The way I am with Robert. I've let him down so much he doesn't care whether I'm around or not. Daisy and Rebecca'll never feel that way about you.'

Nikki sighed. 'You can't change the past but you do have a hand in your future. In his future.'

'What am I supposed to do, push back in and just pray I can handle it this time? That's not fair on him.'

'I get the feeling that he'd like you to give it a shot, you know. But no teenage lad's gonna admit he wants his mum around.'

'So how about I just wait until he…'

'Gets married?' Nikki offered.

You put me high upon a pedestal.

'Don't rush it,' she advised a few moments later. 'I thought tonight went really well.'

'Well, you were there.'

'So it was all an act for my benefit was it?'

'Course.'

'Now who's lying?'

Diane turned her head and kissed her. 'Do you really think I can handle it? In all seriousness.'

'You can do anything you want to,' Nikki replied. 'You just need to give it a decent go.'

'I'm not like you,' Di warned.

'I know that. I wouldn't want you to be anything like me anyway.'

'So maybe,' her lover went on after pause, 'we could come back in the summer. For a week or something. Bring the girls, if Doug doesn't mind.'

The way Diane steadfastly avoided looking towards her made Nikki smile. 'I think that can be arranged. One condition though.'

'Go on,' Di muttered suspiciously.

'Well,' Nikki said slowly, tickling her fingers up Diane's thigh, 'You should be able to figure it out.'

So high that I could almost see eternity.

Nikki closed her eyes, wanting to stay as happy as she was at that precise moment for as long as possible. Diane settled down behind her, snaking an arm around her waist and she let out a contented sigh. 'I wish we didn't have to go home tomorrow,' she murmured.

'Mmm. I could just stay like this.'

'If it wasn't for work…'

'Don't give me any more incentives to stay here,' Diane warned swiftly. 'I really won't move.'

'And here was me thinking you enjoyed your work,' Nikki said innocently.

'Well, let's just say I had hoped sleeping with my Sergeant might not get me lumbered with rubbish tip duty for the last four months.'

'I can't show any favouritism, you know.'

'Oh, but stick Sally or Nate in there for once please! I'm sick of smelling like old kebab!'

Nikki wrinkled her nose. 'Have to admit, it's not your best perfume.'

Oh, yes, you needed me.

'Are you asleep yet?'

Mumbling a reply, Nikki eventually shook her head and rolled over, opening her eyes and adjusting them to the darkness of the room. 'What's up?'

'I just…' Diane was hesitant. 'Thank you,' she went on finally. 'For coming here and… everything.'

She smiled and sought out Diane's lips with her own. 'Don't be stupid.'

'I really do love you, you know that?'

Laughing, she kissed her partner again. 'I had an inkling.'

You needed me.