Euphoria
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Rewinding Death Part 2
Disclaimer: The guards, the curly haired secretary, and other minor characters belong to me. Everything else associated with DC and Teen Titans do not fall within my criteria.
Note: Well, I'm late. Hopefully forgiveness is a virtue. This chapter consists of a background of Raven's own character and some of X's analysis on her. I don't know..this chapter's format may seem strange or puzzling. This is due to the fact that I watched one of the best crime/drama foreign movie last weekend. It was 'Company' and in case no one can determine what region it's from, let me just point out 'BOLLYWOOD' Yup, not the glitzy, romance, dance number movies they've been stereotyped with, but a refreshing look at what one misunderstanding can do. Seriously, watch it. It helped me with Euphoria and TCADM. Witty screenplay, amazing direction. Really. My subtitles might've translated some stuff wrong but the plot was set in a solid line. :D Now please, read + review (and rent 'Company' :D)
Credits: The quote "The question that drives me hazy, am I or the others crazy?" is from Sir Albert Einstein and is used in the chapter. But in reality, Tuli-Susi gave me the idea to use it and a chunk of wild phsycological inspiration. Thank you again :D :)
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Eyelids collapsed and clear purple irises were shielded in their glory.
A stream of parental pain.
Uncontrolled sobs.
A beautiful shade of red, a consistent flood.
Somewhere a tree twitched as it's young healthy leaves turned to dust.
The tree fell...
Leaving behind no seed of paternal success and no reason for maternal guidance.
Purple irises opened again. This time bleeding memories.
Flashback:
"You want some?" his unshaven mouth spoke, the smell of filth and strong acid tainting her.
With one look at the dirty cylinder tube and the scent arousing from it, she shook her youthful little head. Big purple eyes watched for a reaction from this stranger after her decline.
The tall man in all his sleazy decor snorted and turned away, the object disappearing in his coat. After a while, studying his landscape started to become a bore.
"Sir?" her innocence lighted up her tone.
No answer.
"Sir?"
"Waddya want?" the stranger snapped at her almost tiredly.
She looked down and mumbled, "Co-could you tell me where my fa-father is?"
The stranger didn't reply and the lilac child decided to give up hope. There was only so much she could take. Yes, she was worried why she was left alone with this outlander. Of course she wondered as to why she was even here. Two years had gone past and she still didn't know who she was. There was only a name, nothing attached.
The lilac child pushed a strand of pellucid violet hair from her face. She was the outsider, she should have been grateful she could even live, questions should never have existed. Ashamed, her head went further down.
The stranger had noted this as well, her sullen attitude though, did not bring any pity.
"You know kid, you're gonna become a cop one day..." his sudden statement pushed aside her guilt for a moment. The lights on the rooftop let a beautiful shade of gold sink into her face.
Taking the cigarette out of his mouth, the gruff stranger flicked the stub over the rooftop. He put his hands in his pockets and continued talking, still not looking at her. "And ya' know why you're gonna do that? Cuz, you hate him and you fuckin' know it!" his voice boomed in the landscape startling her into confusion.
She took the chance to ask, "Wh-who do I ha-hate?" The word 'hate' sounded foreign in her mouth.
He whipped around, red-eyed and demonic. "Fuck this! Your father you twit! Trigon!"
She quivered in fear and shook her head trying to argue, "N-no sir! Wh-why would I-I ha-hate him? My mo-mother says to be grateful... he-he helped u-us.."
The vile expression turned worse. He came closer and closer as the child moved farther towards the edge of the rooftop.
"You think he fuckin' helped you?! Bullshit! He hates you! That bitch Arella who you call your mother hates you too! Do you fuckin' know who you are kid?! Huh? You're what comes up when a useless junkie and his platonic, abused girlfriend fuck themselves up! You think that bitch wanted you?! NO! You're the mistake! You're the rape child! You're the only reason anyone should or even can die!"
"No, no, no!!" the lilac child argued.
She didn't know what he meant but she cried. Insuppressibly she sobbed because of how he said those words. She never hated anyone so she never expected anyone else to either. Trigon and Arella were her parents. They never raised a hand at her. They never scolded her. They were dead to her. All this time she thought that this was their job. She mustn't expect anything else. She should be grateful that at least they were there.
The back of her left calf was scraped when she hit the edge of the rooftop. She wanted someone else to be there, she didn't like this lying man and his conversations. Her ears bled as she clawed at them in an attempt to shut his words out..
"LOOK AT ME." the stranger grabbed her by the shoulders roughly. His scent of tobacco and a mixture of alcohol frightened her even more. She struggled but her youth bit back.
"You want to know where daddy is?! Daddy's about to get KILLED. Do you hear me?! And that slut of mother is too!"
"No-no-please..no!" she cried again. It was hopelessly ignored.
You ever seen a one-eyed man?!" he asked still yelling but now closer to her face.
She didn't respond just continued sobbing and trying to get away.
"DID YOU?! ANSWER ME!" he screamed louder, shaking her like a little rag doll.
Hurriedly she nodded her head, the streams of tears flying everywhere.
His grip relaxed. He seemed to be pleased."Good. Cuz if I'm gonna be the thorn in your side then he's gonna be the fuckin' knife in your heart." Without a second thought, without a second glance he pushed her down the rooftop in a swift move.
The lilac child's pulse shattered as her screams subsided.
A bullet made it's way down.
End
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Jump City Asylum
Cell 32
It was puzzling, you know. Seeing so many people die at your hands, seeing so many emotions conquering one's actions. Recording down all those characteristics that occurred before facing death.
When he compared and contrasted how people died there was always one detail that stayed the same.
Unfamiliarity.
Those clouded looks showed him that you didn't know how to die. Because of that inexperience, movement stopped as the reptilian brain took over. That was why mouths hung agape as eyes widened in mock realization. The question always arose.
How do you approach death?
You can't simply let it take over can you? You can not accept it. That was why every time it looked as if being deceased could manifest, forgetting that you came to this point before was abandoned.
The need to be unfamiliar with this natural conclusion was a habit. At least for most people.
Cillian sighed, the conversation yesterday echoing.
This woman was more involved with his life then she knew. In fact, she was more tied up in his situation then he would ever let on. It was amazing how the one main trait to exist within everyone did not exist in someone who was trained to kill it.
'How can you understand someone else so fuckin' well, when you obviously can't relate to them?' he questioned himself. The thought that she was disguising her fears had been burned down because of the lack of evidence. He knew that even with an emotionless facade the fear of dying is too strong of an emotion to hide.
Then how?
How did she match man's greatest fear?
He didn't normally ask questions. Why was he now?
Was attraction clouding his mind? Was this what happened to others too, the ones bad enough to take time out of her routine? Or was he not thinking logically. He had a knack for over thinking.
Taking a breath of fresh porcelain air, a flash of brilliance occurred. Yes, he was smart. No, he wasn't over thinking this. Surely others tried to tap into enigmas beyond their reach. Surely others wanted to find out why the most inhumane person could be treating the most affected of humanity.
Before landing himself in this type of position he knew had no reason to worry. He had a girl. That meant he had experience. That meant he had sex, pleasure, lust, control... control.
Beautiful.
Something he couldn't have if Raven was that girl.
That was even more beautiful.
But it all led to love. Love led to life. Life led to death. Death led to unfamiliarity. Did she possess this? Was she hiding this? Could she feel? If he killed her in that moment would she care?
No.
She was dead.
A more accurate suggestion; suicidal.
'No, no.. to be suicidal would mean to care. She doesn't care. She doesn't love, she doesn't care.' he thought.
So what was she then? A dead soul inside a dead body? Walking in and out of her true hell?
If you led a life with someone so unresponsive would it be easier?
Yes.
Yes it would.
"The question that sometimes drives me hazy, am I or the others crazy?" he said this as bankruptcy totaled his mind. And he sunk back, into his chair, tired, a lust for violet eyed companionship floating.
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Jump City Court of Appeals
Chamber's of Bruce Wayne
It wasn't that she'd never been here before, it was just that it had been a long time.
Bruce Wayne.
The name screamed authority and perpetual depression. In fact, she almost, almost, felt for the man. Such responsibility was imprisoned on his head for so many years. A business enterprise here, a law office there, then a court smack dab in the middle.
And the worst of all?
An asylum.
Makes you wonder.
Makes.. you... wonder.
But that wasn't totally the point here. Her job, her choice of a career, was in the questioning height of liberty and justice. And this man pulled all the strings.
With that little fiasco yesterday (about the gun) there were positions to be accountable for.
The main question; how?
Raven already had a guess. Or maybe more like an answer.
Entering the building she let bygones be bygones. Hopefully he would too.
She walked to a huge mahogany desk where a curly haired, middle-aged woman sat, furiously writing something in what looked like legal documents. When Raven's presence was acknowledged the woman looked up and admirably smiled.
"Dr. Roth, right?" her tone bordered happiness but contained some amount of exhaustion. Raven nodded and the woman continued. "You can go in, Mr. Wayne wasn't expecting you at this time but I doubt he'll mind."
"Thank you." she replied and headed to the large door where Bruce Wayne was.
The last time she saw him he was well into his late 30s.What could seventeen years do to a man that was the boulder of death row? It certainly couldn't change him. In fact, she doubted he gained anything in this restless life span.
Now was the time to find out. She reached an ashen hand to knock the furnished door. A brief memory of the same position she was many times in before, poked at her.
'But this man isn't Slade. If possible he could be worse.' she thought
Footsteps were heard as the click-clack of polished dress shoes made it's way to the front of the door. Without realizing it Raven had held her breath until the door creaked open.
"Raven?"
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Jump City Asylum
Cell 32
"How the fuck did you get that!!?"
His snarling face was the first thing visible as Detective Richard Grayson frantically barged through the pasty cell door. For once that cool, indifferent demeanor changed into one of mild nervousness as X began to collect some sort of an answer.
Masking that flaw of emotion he grinned, indifference in his behavior. "Jeez, did you run here? Cuz you look like crap."
Richard might've been frantically panting, but he had the energy to shoot a dark look at X.
Chuckling, Cillian continued in upmost realization. "Oh, I get it.." A pause. "Can't trust anyone outside of your department, can you? Well let me put this lightly. She took the fuckin' gun."
Richard was unprepared for that. He was ready to do a false interrogation. He was ready to crack that son of a bitch. He was even ready for a fight. But this? "What?"
"Can't you fuckin' hear right? SHE TOOK THE FUCKIN' GUN." X yelled louder. For some odd reason his voice seemed strained. "She's out to get Wayne on the case."
Shocked, Grayson cried, "Wayne?! What the fuck!! Why didn't she go to me!?"
"Oh I don't know, first impressions don't mean everything." X scoffed and sunk back into his more structured persona.
Enraged, the black haired detective did the upmost unexpected. He roughly grabbed the collar of the confused thief and arubtly slammed his lithe body against the pasty wall.
The aggression he had was at some points discarded. It never came out, it never came in. He didn't breathe with it, he didn't live with it. In fact, Richard had completely thrown away that null form of aggression. Until today of course, when he really did think he needed it.
A miscalculation.
Before the detective could have a word, aggressive anger turned to fury.
X spoke rudely, jest rubbing into his tone. "That shit doesn't work with me Grayson. Stop playing bad cop, or your ass will start trippin'."
Enough was enough.
In blind anger, Grayson took 'bad cop' to another level.
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A./N
Bad way to end?
I think not.
So yeah, sorry again. What is it, 3 days overdue? Just like my library books. Yeah, I can't believe 'Ordinary People' took me that long to read...it's under my level!
Okay off topic. So, well... liked it? Loved it? Was it hard to understand? Cuz I went crazy with the whole study of behaviorism. And also, would it help if I added those steamy, love scenes? Just a warning that fluffy 'holding your hand', and blunt 'I love you' won't be happening. These people are much to rigid.
Lust though, will be seen. Not too aggressive, and not to romantic. Just really.. I don't know..you'll see. That is, if you want to see it. Tell me in a review or PM.
And a personal thing for 'Jute' if she/he is reading. This might concern everyone else too.
I'm definitely not going to make it lean onto the whole Raven and X get too close and then one day they're showing that affection and Robin finds them. Blah, conflicts, conflicts.
Nope, it's a good idea but overused like you said. This will end up being very... artistic. Very angst-ridden too. I'm not even sure if the ending will be happy.
Ugh. I'm destroying all my secrets. Okay, everyone, question, critique and also praise soon.
Oh, and for the really smart and observing minds out there, care to send me a synopsis? You know, some really good predictions and analysis of the characters? Just want to know if my story makes sense.
Thanks to all. :D Review!