GRRR….STUPID HOMEWORK!! Always wasting my time and fun!! But now that I'm done, I'm gonna continue this fic. NOTE: THIS CHAPPIE CONTAINS MAJOR STUPIDITY AND MAJOR HILARITY. READER DESCRIPTION IS ADVISED. BE AWARE TO USE THE BATHROOM FIRST, NOT TO DRINK MILK WHILE READING THIS CHAPPIE, HAVE AN ENHAILER NEAR BY, HAVE SOME TISSUE NEAR BY, A PHONE OR CELL PHONE TO CALL 911 AND NOT TO EAT WHILE READING THIS CHAPPIE…because it is soooooo funny!!!

Chapter Seven

And so, after Amy and Shadow left the dance club, the male hedgehog did his best to try to find a good restaurant to have dinner at. However, none of the nearest restaurants looked interesting to Amy. Plus, she was still mad at him for falling asleep on her shoulder during their lil' romantic moment. So Shadow had to think long and hard to figure out how to make Amy happy again.

"How about here?" he pointed at a McDonald's restaurant.

"No", Amy said, with her arms crossed and her eyes closed.

"Or how about here?" Shadow spotted a Burger King stand.

"No."

"Or here?" the black hedgehog pointed at a Wendy's restaurant.

"Nice try."

"Here?" Shadow pointed at a Long John Silver's stand.

"No…"

"Or how about here?" Shadow pointed at a KFC stand.

"I don't think so."

"…Ooh, how about there?" Shadow tapped Amy on the shoulder.

Filled with frustration, Amy opened her eyes. Ahead, she saw a small Olive Garden restaurant. Luckily, Shadow picked the right place for her, because she loves Italian food.

"I love Italian food!" Amy dashed to the restaurant.

"Finally", Shadow sighed as he lowered his head. "About time…"

Once the two walked in, they took a good look around. A few other couples were at their tables eating their food as some were talking and laughing with each other. From the look of the place, it almost looked like a royal dinning room. Another fabulous thing about the place was the musicians were playing some romantic symphony music.

"Welcome to Olive Garden", an Italian waiter said in his Italian accent. "How-a many?"

"Table for two, please", Amy raised two fingers with a glamorous smile.

"Right this a-way", the waiter picked up a couple of menus and led them to an empty table that was in the far back. "Have-a good a-time", he bowed a little and walked away.

Both of the hedgehogs took their seats next to each other.

"Is it me, or does that guy look like one of those Super Mario Brothers?" Shadow whispered suspiciously.

"Which one?" Amy raised an eyebrow.

"I think Luigi, because he's taller than Mario", Shadow guessed.

"Oh", Amy blinked twice. "How did he get into this story?"

Shadow shrugged his shoulders and then looked at his menu. Amy looked around, because she was getting bored already. At the front door, she saw something surprising, yet very bad. She gasped and hid under the table.

"What, someone has a gun?" Shadow looked around, acting like a spy.

"Get down!" Amy whispered furiously as she pulled him down by his quills.

"Oww, watch the hair", Shadow whispered in pain. "Now, who or what are we hiding from?" he lifts the cover off of the floor.

"That", Amy pointed up ahead. Both her and Shadow saw Sonic with Sally Acorn (A/N, BOOOO!!!) talking to the waiter at the front door. They watched them take a seat at a special V.I.P. section, which was outside.

"Oh, him", Shadow rolled his eyes. "So?"

"Dude, I thought he wasn't coming here", Amy pulled her hair a lil'. "And he's with Sally? I haven't heard from her in like…forever! Plus, I didn't know that they were still going out. Why didn't he just tell me? I would've understood that…I think."

"Hmm…I guess he didn't tell the truth, huh?" Shadow rubbed his chin. "So he lied to you, never told you how he felt about you, and he paid no love attention to you as you did for him."

"Grr, I hate that blue hedgehog!" Amy growled as her faced turned red and some flames were circling around her.

"Whoo, it's getting hot down here", Shadow fanned himself, not noticing that it was Amy that had all of the heat. "But I hate him too. You want to get revenge on him, do you?" he asked her with an evil smirk.

"Yes", Amy grabbed him by the neck aggressively. "I want to make sure that he'll feel more pain than I did", she said in a demon's voice.

"Amy, too tight, let go!" Shadow coughed for some air.

"Sorry", Amy turned back to normal and released him so he could get some air. "So what's the plan?"

"Oh, I got a great one", Shadow said. "But first, I'm gonna need some blue spray paint."

(15 minutes later…)

"Excuse me right quick", Sonic got out of his chair and left. "Gotta freshen up at the men's room."

"Don't be long", Sally waved sweetly.

As Sonic looked around for the men's room, Amy kept an eye on him with her binoculars, still hiding under the table. She had on a military outfit and some black stuff on her cheeks. After Sonic was gone, she pulled out her walkie-talkie.

"He's gone", she said.

"Leave it to me", Shadow replied.

Walking in was Shadow, except he had on some blue spray paint that covered all of his fur except of his red streaks. He zipped to where Sally was located. He sat down hurriedly, causing Sally to jump a little.

"Welcome back", she said nicely. "That was fast."

"Well, I am the fastest thing alive, right?" Shadow showed his muscles.

"What's with those red streaks?" Sally pointed at them.

"Ohh", Shadow tried to think of a lie. "Well, it's a new style. You know, everyone's doing it."

"I didn't notice."

"It just started."

"Plus, what's with those red eyes?" Sally noticed the eye color.

"Oh, these are contacts", Shadow lied again. "You see, I like to wear these, because I think they look sexy on me."

"...Yeah. Well…Now that we're engaged..." Sally showed her huge diamond ring.

"OH, MY GOD!" Shadow thought as his jaws dropped.

"OH, MY GOD!" Amy said in shock as she watched them through her binoculars.

"…What do you think we should do after we get married?" Sally asked as she placed a hand on Shadow's, causing him to blush. "Should we start a family, or move away, or…?"

"You know, I can't really see us 10 days after our marriage", Shadow took his hand away.

"Huh?" Sally blinked confusingly. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm not in love with you anymore", Shadow said truthfully. "You're not the one."

"Are you kidding me?" Sally threw her hands in the air unhappily. "We were supposed to be on a date to celebrate our proposal, and now you're telling me that it's not going to work out?"

"Well, I thought of telling you before, but I thought that this was the perfect timing", Shadow rubbed the back of his head. "But there's more to that."

"What?"

"Sally…I've been cheating on you", Shadow sighed.

"WHAT!? WITH WHO!?" Sally shouted out loudly as she stood up, and some people looked at her oddly.

"With some strippers", Shadow said as he played with his quills sarcastically. "I've been going to the stripper's club almost every night, and I sleep around with them sometimes."

"How many times?" Sally asked angrily.

"200!" Shadow cheered.

"WHAT!? 200!?" Sally gasped in shock. "ARE YOU CRAZY!? I THOUGHT YOU LOVE ME!"

"Yeah, plus I had sex with a couple of exotic dancers last week, then I paid two prostitutes to have sex with me, and we had a threesome", Shadow continued his story. "It felt like an earthquake, but it was fun", he nodded with a sly smile.

"But…But…" Sally's eyebrow began to twitch.

"I wish I had a camera to record that action, then I would've been number one on the Playboy channel", Shadow rubbed his chin. "Anyway, we're not going to be together, and I'm only in love with strippers. Have you ever heard the song 'I'm in Luv wit a Stripper' by T-Pain ft. Mike Jones?"

"No", Sally shook her head.

"Download it, it's a great song", Shadow stood up. "So um…Have a nice life", he whispered in her ear and then walked away from her.

The Acorn princess sat back down slowly in stun. She then slammed her forehead on the table lightly. So she was mad, sad, and shock. Good thing that Sonic wasn't around, or else, Shadow's plan would've failed! He walked by Amy and whispered "Now's your cue". The pink hedgehog got out of her military clothes, cleaned her face, and then walked to Sally. She tapped her on the shoulder.

"WHAT?!?!" Sally yelled out intensely as she lifts her head up. Again, a lot of people looked at her with sweat drops. "Oh, what are you doing here?" she asked calmly.

"Well, I kinda snuck in here", Amy rubbed the back of her head. "But anyway, I came here to tell you the bad news. I slept with Sonic twice, and it's possible that he might be the father of my child."

"WH-WH-WH-WH-WHAAAAATT!?!" Sally screamed outloud with rage and shock.

"Twins, scratch that, triplets, or quintuplets", Amy corrected herself.

"NOOOOO!!!!" Sally shouted out to the sky, like it was the end of the world.

"So tell Sonic that I'll see him in court, because he's gonna pay child support, whether he likes it or not", Amy crossed her arms with a nod. "See ya!" she smiled kindly and then skipped out of the place.

Sally growled with irritation and madness. So now, wow, she just wanted to kill somebody. Amy ran outside and hid around the corner, just in case something might happen. Sonic came back out of the bathroom with two bottles of cologne in his hands. He walked to her. As for Sally, she clenched her fists tightly as her face was red like a tomato.

"Hey, Sal", he said as he looked at the bottles, and not at her angry face. "I was too busy arguing some dudes in the men's room-Which cologne should I use? Sean John's 'Unforgivable' or Prince's 'Get Wild'? Sal?" he then noticed her.

Madly and wildly, Sally grabbed Sonic by the neck and threw him across the place. He knocked down a couple of tables and the couples got up and ran away. There was silence as everyone stared at him. Lots of food was on the floor along with the broken dishes and used utensils. Groaning in pain, the blue hero sat up and rubbed his head. He looked up and noticed Sally walking to him with a furious look on her face.

"Sal, what's up?" Sonic asked shakily as he scoots back. "What's your problem?"

"You've been cheating on me, got one of your so called 'comrades' pregnant, and you're telling me that you don't love me?" Sally asked coldly as she grounded her teeth.

"What are you talking about?" Sonic said in fear and mercy. "I've never said that."

"Yes, you did", Sally pointed at him cruelly. "Just a few minutes ago, you did. Oh, what happened to that new style, the streaks, and those contacts?"

"Sal, it's the pills!" Sonic got back up and walked backwards. "It's those 'Happy Pills' that you've been taking. Take an easy. Want a hug?" he opened his arms with a sudden smile.

Sally stopped walking and Sonic stopped also. Then she pulled out a baseball bat. The blue hedgehog gasped in fear. The symphony team then played the famous "Psycho Theme". Poor Sonic shivered in fear as he hugged himself tightly. He was soooo doooomed.

"You're dead, blue boy!" Sally charged at him as she held up her baseball bat.

"AAAAAHHHH!!!" Sonic screamed like a girl as he took off running. He jumped through a glass window, leaving a large hole that was shaped like him running. He looked back and forth, and then took off on his right. Sally followed him as she shouted out some Indian calls. "GAHH!!" Sonic screamed outloud with fret. "HELP ME, JESUS! HELP ME, JEWISH GOD! HELP ME, BUDDAH! HELP ME, CONFUCIUS! HELP ME, TOM CRUISE!"(A/N, remember that line from that Ricky Bobby movie with Will Ferrell in it?)

"YOU CAN RUN, BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE, YOU PERVERTED DOG!" Sally shouted out, amazingly catching up with him.

"AAAHH! HELP ME, DR. PHIL! HELP ME, JUDGE JUDY! HELP ME, OPRAH! HELP ME, TYRA BANKS! HELP ME, NEYO! IT'S THE MATRIX! MAKE IT STOP! HELP ME, JERRY SPRINGER! HELP ME, P. DIDDY! HELP ME, PARIS HILTON! HELP ME, JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE!" Sonic shouted out some more as he kept running away from his so called…girlfriend, fiancée?

While he was running away from Sally, Dan and Cindy were watching them at a small wooden bench. They had their jaws dropped. What the heck is going on with this place? Was everyone on crack or something? Now they wanted to get out of the place for good.

"Oh, my", Cindy said with a sweatdrop falling off of her right cheek. "Are they on crack?"

"Hmm", Dan rubbed his chin. "Maybe this place has infected everyone with the C-Virus, known as the Crack Virus, not the T-Virus from Resident Evil. Still, if you chase me around like that and I said all of that, I'll just off myself."

"What does that mean?" Cindy turned to him awkwardly.

"I'll shoot myself in the head", Dan answered. "C'mon, let's find the exit", he took her hand and the two walked off.

Back with Amy, she was laughing so hard that she was about to die! She dropped down on her knees as she held her stomach. That was the funniest thing that she has ever seen in her life! Thanks to Shadow, she was able to get her revenge and she was happy again.

"Oh, my god, that was so funny!" Amy cracked up. "You should've seen it! Shadow?" she looked around.

"Yeah, I'm back", Shadow came up to her, with a towel on his shoulder. "Is the blue paint off?"

"Lemme check", Amy searched around his body. "Yep. But anyway, you've just missed the funniest scene ever! I wish I had a camera!"

"Darn, I should've let you have my camera phone", Shadow pulled out his cell phone. "Oh, well, let's go", he and Amy starts walking off together.

"How'd you know what to say and such?" she asked.

"Have you ever watched 'Blind Date', 'Rock of Love', 'Flavor or Love'-?" Shadow began to list out some shows.

"Nevermind", Amy interrupted with a hard sigh. "Those sound like Rouge's favorite shows."

"Really?" Shadow blinked twice. "I thought her favorite shows were Stripper Pole Dancing Training programs", he scratched his head.

"You're weird", Amy gave him a playful punch on the arm. "I was surprised that you did all of that without getting caught!"

"I've never been caught", Shadow said with pride. But then, he stopped and Amy stopped also. "Except once", he pondered for the moment.

(FLASHBACK!)

The black hedgehog was running for his life as a police car chased him down an alley. Suddenly, he came across a dead end filled with trash cans, constructing machines, and a brick wall. He turned back around and noticed that the police car stopped and flashed the lights on him. All he had on was a black suit and a mask that only his ruby eyes were seen. He covered his eyes before he got blind. A cop with short brown hair got out of the car with a megaphone.

"Surrender yourself!" the cop shouted.

"Doh!" the black hedgehog raised his hands up high.

The cop walked to him cautiously and suspiciously. He puts his megaphone away and searched the pockets. All of the sudden, he pulls out a plastic bag that looked like…

"Crack-cocaine!?" the cop looked at it oddly.

"Sir, that's not mine", Shadow lied with a freaked out look on his face. "That belongs to my evil twin, I swear!"

"Hmm…" the cop opens the bag. "Are you sure?"

"That's not crack! That's baby powder!" Shadow lied again.

The cop rolled his eyes. He scooped up some and sniffed the substance carefully. Suddenly, his eyes widened. He rushed to the back of the police car and continues to sniff some more. Then he starts having a seizure attack. Not only that, but Shadow can hear it clearly!

"Um…Yeah, I'll just go now", he sighed and walked away.

(End of flashback. ROFLAMO!)

"Ok, that's one of the weirdest things that you've ever told me", Amy sweatdropped.

"Yeah", Shadow looked away. "What now?"

Amy shrugged her shoulders. But one thing for sure, what happened to Knuckles and Rouge?

Phew! That was sooo long!! R&R, later!