Hello again! Sorry its taken me so long to get everything into order but here it is. This tag is for Sunday. I have changed a few things here and there and I have changed some of the dialogue. Spoiler warnings for Sunday!

I do not own any of the stargate characters or their many universes.

Enjoy!

It occurred to Rodney as he grabbed those cold iron bars on the side of the coffin that he was gone. Truly and painfully gone and the only thing that kept his eyes from spilling over was that he was being rematerialized in a wormhole. But as the man stepped back on Earth there was no stopping the slow spill of tears that came. He hurriedly wiped them away praying that no one saw. A procession of funeral cars were parked outside of the SG command base, they were not a welcoming site but the men continued to carry Carson to them.

It was a beautiful turnout. People came from everywhere, all of them hurting just as much. Rodney met the doctor's family as well. They all had his Scottish quirk that made Carson, Carson. When it came to talk about what had happened to him, Rodney tried but eventually John had to explain because Rodney just stopped talking. Carson's family understood that they could not get the entire family but they said that they took comfort in knowing that Carson had such loyal and kind hearted friends. Rodney's stomach flip flopped at the comment.

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"Why didn't you just go fishing with the man Rodney?" John's voice rang out.

"Yeah, he'd be here right now if it weren't for you." Another voice said. Teyla's.

"You're lazy, selfish , and a coward Rodney." Ronan's voice said threateningly.

"What is wrong with you Mckay? I thought you were kind." Katie's voice said.

"Wh-What do you mean?" Mckay said.

"I didn't know something was going to happen!" The scientist said close to hysterics.

"You know what we're talking about. You killed him Rodney! You killed him!" The voices blended together making it hard for Rodney to know who said it. Though, it did not matter. Rodney couldn't breath, complete panic wormed its way to his heart and seemed to grasp it with a cold iron hand. "No! No! Carson I didn't mean to! No! please god no!"

"Rodney! Rodney! Wake up, it's all right. You just had a bad dream." Teyla said to the gasping man saying soothing words to him. She walked to the bathroom and retrieved a cold glass of water for him to drink. "Mckay? Are you alright?" Teyla asked catiously.

Seeing her friend in such a distressing state scared Teyla. Rodney took a large gulp of the water and looking at Teyla said, "Thanks. How did you get in here?"

"Your doors were unlocked and I could hear you from my sleeping quarters. I could not go to sleep." Teyla said sadly. She had lost two friends that Sunday. It was still hard for her to think about, it was like a fresh wound that wouldn't heal quick enough. Teyla knew what Rodney must be going through. For a man like Rodney to get close to anyone was a feat in its self and then for Rodney to loose such a close friend, it must feel like salt in the skin. "Rodney, if you need anything, please do not hesitate." Teyla said quietly walking from the room. Mckay watched her leave, feeling his whole world come to a halt. Did she know? Did she know that I am the reason for Carson's death? Rodney didn't get any sleep that night.

"We are going to need to go through Carson's will and then eventually I will clean his room." Said Weir from her chair. She knew that it was going to be extremely hard for anyone on her staff to clean the beloved doctors things from his room but it needed to be done so she offered herself up for the job. The team around her agreed. Rodney just nodded his head, a blank stare on his face.

"Thank you for coming, we are done here. I am giving the day off to all personnel and would recommend sleep." Elizabeth said standing up. She nodded to her teams and resigned to her office where she could think to herself.

"Elizabeth?" Rodney said from her office door.

"Yes Rodney?"

"I'd like to pack Carson's belongings." He said not looking her in the eyes.

"Okay, but you do not need to do it today. I was planning on doing it in a couple more days." Weir told Rodney not really surprised that he had asked her to take over the job. She had expected it from Mckay.

"No, that's okay. It'll be easier to do it now." With a small nod Mckay left her office.

What was she going to do? Carson was such a loved member of her expedition crew that it was hard to understand that he wasn't going to be here. That you would no longer walk into the infirmary and hear Carson and Mckay arguing, or that you wouldn't hear him murmuring soothing words to his patients or there to give advise. Elizabeth massaged her temples trying to release the tension that had suddenly built up there.

Mckay stopped at the door of his friends room. Everything was in place, nothing had been moved or even touched. Flowers had been placed on his bed where a large picture of Beckett was placed. His breaths became shorter as he slowly and painfully started to put things away.

A knock on the door startled Rodney, he did not turn around but allowed the person to come in. He had already guessed that it was Ronan when the large man came around to sit on Carson's chair.

"Hello Ronan."

"Hello Rodney."

"Did you need anything?" Rodney asked looking at a picture of himself and Carson.

"No. But I wanted to ask you if you needed…anything." Ronan asked rather casually.

Rodney knew that for Ronan, he was saying a lot and he appreciated it, but he didn't really want to talk.

"No, I'm okay, I'm just about done with everything anyways." Mckay said standing back up to look at Ronan.

"Rodney, it isn't your fault so do not think too much about what has already happened." The tall man said slowly getting to his feet and and walking out the door.

Rodney smiled slightly. Looking around the room, Rodney decided he was done here.

Instead of going to the mess hall to eat lunch the scientist packed himself one and found himself a large table outside instead. He took everything out of the brown paper back and placed it before him. He had an apple, a turkey sand witch, a coke, and a chocolate muffin. Even as his stomach growled Rodney refused to eat right away.

John watched as his friend packed himself a lunch and walked outside. Sheppard did the same and followed the man to wherever he was going. He found Rodney staring at his food instead of eating it in a remote part of the balcony. Sheppard did not ask to sit down and he did not start any conversation, instead, Sheppard waited for Rodney as he too unpacked his lunch. The two men sat quietly for awhile, listening to the crash of the waves as they hit Atlantis.

"Do you remember that one time I had placed that replica of a spider in Carson's office?" Rodney asked John.

"The one that was programmed to drop on the heads of anyone who walked by?" John asked.

"Yeah, that one." Rodney said a smirk slowly appearing on his face.

John chuckled, "Yes I remember that one. Carson's screams echoed through the entire gate room. We thought someone was dying."

A full smile spread on Mckay's face. "Carson promised to inject me with citrus while I was sleeping."

John looked at Mckay, "Do you remember that time…"

The two men shared memories of Carson Beckett for a long while. Both laughing and smiling for the first time in a long time.

THE END

cowgrl

So? What do you think?