Disclaimer: Uugh, long update wait and it's not even like I was too busy! I was just LAZY! And I'm sorry, I can't resist Tango/ALAYM jokes. They're so much fun. Well, I hope you like the story! -LostOzian
"Roger, the As Long As You're Mine scene sucks," Maureen said. Everyone was at the loft, fine-tuning most of the props. Angel had accidentally tripped over the vocorder mike, and Benny, Collins and Mimi were attending to the Nicest Boho in Town while Joanne helped Mark wake up so he could fix it.
"Look, I'm giving a hundred ten percent to this show-" Roger was about to defend himself when Maureen waved her hand.
"No, it's not you, it's not us. We're perfect," Maureen said rather egotistically. "It's the blocking. We look like five year olds." Roger shrugged.
"What can we do?" Roger said. "Jo and Mimi would murder us if we changed it, and frankly, I like knowing that, at the end of a hard day, there's someone who's ready to just-"
"I didn't ask to be told what you and Mimi like to do once the sun's gone down!" Maureen snapped. "I'm sure you don't want to be told how Jo likes it, either," Roger shook his head.
"Yeah, I can do without knowing that," Roger admitted.
"So the trick is to get everyone else to change the blocking without making it look like it was our idea," Maureen said. "They haven't seen it." Maureen climbed up onto the Magical Metal Table of Saving Lives. "Follow my lead," she hissed at Roger, before clapping her hands for attention.
"Excuse me! Excuse me!" Maureen called. Everyone stopped what they were doing, and Roger (following Maureen's lead) got up on the table as well.
"Hi, sorry, this should only take a second," Maureen said. "I just want to say, Mimi's been doing a great job on the dancing, and everything's looking great, especially the As Long As You're Mine scene Pookie's been helping with!" She gave Mimi a rather genuine-looking smile. Roger finally understood what she was doing.
"Oh, they haven't seen it!" Roger said as if he just realized that. Maureen took his forced surprise and made it her own.
"That's right! Oh, you guys, it's amazing!" Maureen waved her hand in the air as if trying to slap at a fly, which apparently meant Roger had to get down. Once the rocker was on the floor, the drama queen held out her hand for Roger to help her down. If this doesn't work, I'll get you for this, Mo, Roger thought.
"Mark, when you're done with the mike, could you hit the music?" Maureen said. Mark connected a few cables, then gave his little I'm-the-coolest-thing-since-the-concept-of-bread-and-I-know-it look.
"Sure," he said into the vocorder as a test. "Sure, sure, sure, sure…" Everyone cleared the stage for Roger and Maureen, and Mark hit the play button.
Maureen and Roger were kneeling at least eighteen inches apart, the only contact their hands on each other's shoulders. It would have looked like they were about to start wrestling if Maureen hadn't started singing.
"Kiss me too fiercely!" she sang brightly. "Hold me too tight!"
The song continued as, slowly, the Bohos all turned to look at Joanne and Mimi. As Maureen finished her verse, she and Roger stuck their heads forward for an awkward and completely fake kiss.
"Oy vey," Mark said, looking at Maureen and Roger like they were something horrible that deserved pity.
"Stop," Benny said, looking rather twitchy. "That's not how the song was meant to look." Mark stopped the music as Benny approached Maureen and Roger.
"I'm sorry, Benny, but this isn't Broadway," Mimi said as Benny started to mold Maureen and Roger into the classic pose.
"Well, that's how it looked on Broadway," Benny pointed back at Maureen and Roger, having finished. They were pressed against each other, backs bending out as they supported each other. The actors made a big show of not liking this new pose, faking discontent.
"Well, what we had before was what all parties involved are comfortable with!" Joanne argued.
"But it's crap!" Mark said to the shocked faces of the other Bohos. "It doesn't even fit with the lyrics! 'Kiss me too fiercely, hold me too tight'?"
"If Mark's fixing it, it means it really sucked," Roger hissed to Maureen as the filmmaker ranted.
"What we just saw does not qualify as fierce kissing or tight holding! Or even mild kissing or loose holding!" Angel shook her head slowly, wrapping an arm around Mimi.
"Mimi-chica, I'm sorry, but they're right," she said sadly. "It doesn't look good,"
"Angel-cake, you're too nice," Collins said, yet in the same tone. "It's like, Thank Goodness, good," Collins counted off the pinkie on his left hand, folding it in. "Witch of the East, good," He counted off his ring finger (you get the picture). "Wonderful, good, Not That Girl reprise, which is just Joanne standing on stage singing for ten seconds, good. As Long As You're Mine..." Collins was left with just his thumb, which he turned upside down. "Not good."
"Let them sing it like they would sing it to each of you," Angel suggested. "That's how I get in character. I pretend the person I'm talking to is someone I would say that to,"
"And please let Benny fix it," Mark said. "It's one of the few scenes we can make look like Broadway." Joanne and Mimi stared at Respective Love Interest on stage, wrestling with the pressure to change the scene.
"Fine!" Mimi said at last. "Whatever! Just... run the classroom scene!"
Everyone sprang into action to get into places, and didn't notice Maureen and Roger hi-five behind their backs, making a silent promise to 'reassure' their girlfriends of their love.