Disclaimer: Okay, I feel like an emo-child right now because I lost a volleyball game and my team prepared an intervention for why I don't smile on the court, when really I'm just not a smiley person when it comes to the v-ball. But don't bother consoling me, because by the time I get it my slight bipolarness will have made me forget and it's all good. I just feel less emo telling people about it. And Wicked, RENT, not mine... This is Loathing.
And Defying Gravity 728, my internet cut out on the board. I was not ignoring you. So I finished and posted to make you happier. -LostOzian
"The Wizard…" Maureen prepared. "And I!"
Mark stayed thankfully silent as Maureen finished the song and Joanne entered onstage from the other side. It was 'What is This Feeling' time, the prompt of another joke that Maureen and Joanne were going to sing about being in love as the script said that they were singing about hating each other.
"Dearest darlingest Momsie and Popsicle," Joanne said as if these were her parents' actual names. Everyone excluding Glinda laughed.
"My dear father," Maureen said, stressing 'father' sarcastically.
"There's been some confusion over rooming here at Shiz…" Four people sang, though Elphaba and Glinda sang in their heads as Joanne and Maureen were singing out loud.
"Though of course I'll care for Nassa," Maureen sang.
Nassa? Everyone thought. Apparently 'care for Nessa' was hard for Maureen to sing, so she just sang it as 'Nassa' and waited for people to search the lyrics on the internet before they found out what the hell she was talking about. Or maybe she only did that because that's what Idina Menzel did on the soundtrack.
"But of course, I'll rise above it!" Joanne looked as happy as an anal retentive lesbian lawyer could. Kind of a smirky, everything's cool smile.
"For I know that's how you'd want me to respond… yes," Everybody backstage tapped the air with one finger at the same time on the ding in the music. Because it was a cool ding.
"There's been some confusion, for you see, my roommate is…" Joanne looked at Maureen with one eyebrow raised.
"Unusually and exceedingly peculiar and altogether quite impossible to describe…" She scooped on the vowels in half of the long words. Elphaba laughed.
Maureen looked to Joanne, almost sympathetically, before saying, "Blonde." The way she said it made it sounded exactly like an adjective characterizing ditzy people rather than describing hair color. Because Joanne was nowhere near blonde and wasn't about to peroxify her hair.
Joanne and Maureen stood on stage as the music played, gathering nervous energy and looking completely awkward for being in the same room with each other, which proved to the Bohos once again that the Resident Lesbos were amazing actresses. Finally, Joanne started singing.
"What is this feeling, so sudden and new?" she sang, still not looking at Maureen.
"I felt the moment I laid eyes on you?" Maureen sang, except for the 'laid eyes on you' part that Ms. Menzel had neglected to sing on the soundtrack, and Maureen was going for a perfect Idina-Elphie.
"My pulse is rushing," Joanne said, tugging at the tiara-collar.
"My head is reeling," Maureen added, leaning back slightly to indicate a reeling head.
"My face is flushing, what is this feeling?" Maureen joined in Joanne's line, and they started singing together. "Fervid as a flame… does it have a name? Yes…" Joanne and Maureen started walking toward each other, with a cool little harmony-crescendo.
Menopause! All the Bohos thought as Joanne and Maureen sang, "Loa-thing! Unadulterated loa-thing!"
"For your face!"
"Your voice!"
"Your clo-thing!"
"Let's just say… I loathe it all!" Mark closed his eyes for a moment and pretended Maureen and Joanne really were fighting, and Maureen was going to run to him and ask for him to take her back…
Then Roger kicked him, and made him look back at the stage.
"Every little trait, however small, makes my very flesh begin to crawl…" Joanne had put her thumb to her nose and fanned out her fingers, wiggling them at Maureen. Everybody who saw fought bursting out laughing, with the exception of the Ozians, who were allowed to laugh at the jokes. They laughed out loud.
"Glinda, would you ever do that?" Elphaba asked her best friend.
"Maybe," Glinda said. "Back when we hated each other, I might have."
"Wait, did you or didn't you?"
"I might have! I'm leaving it at that!"
"Though I do admit it came on fast, still, I do believe that it can last!" Everyone except the actresses on stage looked at Elphaba and Glinda in a 'yeah, right' fashion. "And I will be loathing, loathing you my whole… life… long!"
Instantly, Benny, Roger, and Angel were onstage, crossing to Joanne's side. Angel was in her usual favored wig, and Roger and Benny were just Roger and Benny.
"Dear Galinda, you are just too good!" Maureen glared at them all as Joanne reveled in being fawned over.
"How do you stand it, I don't think I could!" Mark, Collins, and Mimi rushed to Joanne's side from the other side of the stage.
"Hey, she's walking! I can't walk!" Nessa complained, pointing at Mimi.
"She's not you," Boq corrected. "Until Wicked Witch of the East, or the moment my life went to hell, you're symbolized by a wheelchair." Nessa proceeded to sulk as the Bohos declared Joanne a martyr.
"These things are sent to try us!" Joanne sang proudly. Maureen pretended to gag.
"Poor-Ga-lin-da-forced-to-re-side…" the temporary chorus sang. "With-some-one-so-dis-gus-tic-i-fied…"
"I love that word," Glinda said randomly. "Disgusticified. It's so big."
"I thought you hated big words," Elphaba said.
"Just the boring ones. I never pay attention to the boring ones," Glinda announced.
The big what is this feeling/loathing harmonies started, which would be too confusing to put into script, but let's just say there was a clump of seven people dancing in opposite to a single person, so Maureen looked rather alone and emo-child. Like Elphaba was known to occasionally resemble. And nobody tripped, which was a miracle in itself.
"And I will be loathing, for, forever loathing, truly, deeply, loathing you…!" Joanne and Maureen were pointing fingers now as the others crowded around Joanne.
"Loathing you!" the harmony echoed.
"My whole life long!" Joanne and Maureen walked toward each other. The music did it's cute little staccato notes, before Maureen shouted "Boo!" and Joanne and Glinda screamed.
"Glinda, you were scared by that?" Fiyero asked.
"I hadn't been expecting it, okay?!" she responded as the Bohos set up for the classroom scene.