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Caged Up - Cellblock Confessions

I dream, I rarely dream, but this is a dream worth having. It's base and I usually try not to give into these kinds of thoughts but yesterday's shower must've lowered my inhibition a little. I can't remember how it started anymore but now I have this perfect physical example of the male species on the bed, awaiting my every command. So pretty to look at, such a cute face for such a strong body. And his mind, so very naive, so very innocent, a delicious thing for me to corrupt. I run my nails softly across his skin and he gasps and shivers like blushing virgin. He's the perfect man, he does whatever I tell him, he has no confidence, no arrogance, only endurance. The things I do to him, the look in his innocent face when I do such unspeakable, carnal acts to him and force him to do on me. I'm in love, I'm in lust, I'm his queen, I'm his goddess, his life is only to entertain and please me. You're mine, you're my property, you're not even a real human anymore, you're my pet, my loyal dog, my purring kitten, you're my dream man.

The bad thing about dream men is that they go away when the dream is over. The sound of my cell door sliding open pulls me out of my sleep. Fucking Lynn... wait, it's lunch already? This is the first time I've slept till noon, I guess I really didn't want to wake up. I better not have left a god damn mess in the front of my pants. She comes in with her push cart and her smart ass smirk. "Well, well, morning sunshine. Never knew you to sleep in."

I just roll out of bed and land face up on the floor. "Just feed me and get it over with." I'm getting depressed, more so than usual, too depressed to even hide it from Adrena Lynn.

She kneels down next to me I can see the genuine concern in her eyes. I wonder why she even cares about my well being anyway. "Common Go, don't be this way. This is the high point of my day, feeding your pasty green ass."

"Find a new high point, I'm not hungry." I'm really not. My body feels numb all over, not just my arms this time.

"Shego, tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing."

She doesn't stop, she lays right next to me in an attempt to wear down my defense. It's annoying. "Please... I'm your friend Shego, let me help you."

What a joke. "I have no friends. Now that I think about it, I've never had any friends. I don't need friends. I don't need you."

Some people just can't take a hint. "I think I'm your friend. I always considered you my friend. Common, this place is bad enough with the crocked guards and bloodthirsty bitches everywhere I go. I don't want to lose the only person I really trust here."

I turn on my side, facing away from Lynn. That cunt doesn't know shit. "At least you get to move around. At least you CAN interact with the other inmates. At least your hands are free and you take a shower more than once a week! Lynn, this is solitaire confinement! Six months of solitaire confinement with another five years to go before they even think about parading me in front of the parol board! I'm already cracking up as it is, I'm turning into a babbling loon and there's no way to stop it!"

I'm trembling. Why did I say that, why did I tell her the truth? She can't help me, she's just a ditz. Before I knew it, I could feel her arm around me. I try to shrug her away but she only pulls herself to my back, embracing me. "You're strong Shego, stronger than any one of us. You're tough shit, number one bitch. They're just trying to break you down, but I know you, you're stronger than that." I don't even respect her but what she says calms me down a little. I'm not trembling anymore, oddly, the only thing I feel is her heartbeat weakly drumming on my back. "There... isn't that better?" she asks me.

I nod my head and I feel something strange. I thought it was steam at first but then it was something moist on my lips... oh fuck, did she just fucking kiss me?! I snarl, pissed as hell, before elbowing Lynn as best I can with this box strapped to my forearms. "Damn it, Lynn! I told you I'm not fucking gay!"

Damn, can't move my arms fast enough to do anything with them. She just keeps going, I can feel that arm she put around slide lower. "Shego, it's not about being a lesbo. It's just a matter of release. You don't have to like it, just think about how amazing it's going to feel to let all that tension gush out. Just pretend I'm some guy and you'll be fine."

Alright, forget just elbowing her. I turn my body around and try to bring down my restraint down on her like a baseball bat. It overshoots the mark but it comes down hard enough for my arm to hurt her, I see the pain flash in her eyes. "Look Lynn, you get off with a face full of cunt, that's fine with me, have fun with that. You just leave mine alone!"

That gets to her. She turns pissy and pulls herself up. "Fuck you! You think I want to be a dyke? If I had my way, I'd still be in L.A., cashing in my Nielsen Rating to bag the longest Lakers' rookie I can dig my nails into for a four-day-weekend of hedonism and promiscuousness that would make Larry Flint blush! You get separated from all of us so you can play stupid, Shego, but here's a five dollar lesson for free; you don't get to have a fucking choice out there! If the double homicide bruno butch bitch decides she wants you to get on your knees in the shower, you can't really say no, especially with three of her cronies behind you with shivs. If you don't show them that you're tough enough to get the new girl to be your bitch, you'll always be everyone's favorite 'fuck buddy'. And those girls were lucky I got to them first; better to just eat me out than have some goon shove their overdeveloped fist into their entrance and their exit. It's called survival Shego, you either adapt or wind up face down in a pool of your own blood."

Nice speech, but she's forgetting one thing. "Does survival also mean a face full of guard cock and gargling cream for their amusement?"

She's pissed, she's so mad she can spit. "Fuck... you... FUCK YOU! You think you're so much better than the rest of us? Better than me? You're not safe. You're not lucky. You're not that tough. They'll come for you, too. Five of them, ten, twenty. They'll send the whole duty roster into your cell if they have to. They'll break you, they'll tame you... they'll fuck you. Then you'll be damaged goods... just like the rest of us."

Her voice is shaking, her body is damn near convulsing. I really did it this time, she's about to lose it. I pull myself up and lunge at her before she collapses. She holds on to me like a rock, using me as an anchor, trying not to get washed away in the current. "I'm sorry Lynn... it's ok... it's ok."

"Those... fuckers... it wasn't enough to rape me... they sodomized me... I was bleeding so much... I thought it would never stop... and then they choked me with their nightstick while taking turns... I passed out... I can't even remember if... if..."

She cries, I'd cry too if it happened to me. I'm sorry Lynn, I was such a bitch because I thought I had you figured out. I'll be nicer to you in the future. She holds onto me like that until it's time for her to leave. The food is still on the tray, never been touched. That's fine, I wasn't hungry anyway.