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Disclaimer: Clamp's characters, my story, my poem

Reality's Dream

Chapter 5: The Things You Do For Friendship

"Are you sure you're up for this?" a concerned voice questioned.

"Doesn't matter if I am ready. I have to do this for him Eriol." Sakura responded as she scanned the crowd at the movie theater for a specific couple. "No matter what I'll be there for him."

"Which is why he always turns to you. You're too selfless for your own damned good." Eriol teased but he his blue eyes showed the conviction in his sentence. Sakura looked up at him and gave a lopsided smile. "Oh look there they are." Eriol spoke pointing to an attractive looking couple in the distance.

Sakura gulped. 'They look good together. Like two models who accidentally ended up crashing at a movie theater rather than a movie premiere.' But it looked like the date was off to a not so great start as Syaoran and Tomoyo stood in an awkward silence in the concession stand line. "Looks like our services are required." Sakura said as they headed in that direction.

Right behind the two Sakura pretended to trip and bumped into Tomoyo. "Oh I am terribly sorry. I…Tomoyo! Syaoran! What are you doing here?" Sakura felt like an actress in some cheesy teen movie. The things you do for friendship.

"Sakura! I could ask the same of you." Tomoyo replied as the boys went off in the line to get snacks. With their presences gone Tomoyo leaned in to Sakura, "I'm here with Syaoran…on a date."

Sakura feigned memory loss, "That's right. I do vaguely remember hearing something about the two of you going out. I had no idea that you would pick the movies of all places." 'I should get an Oscar for this' Sakura grumbled mentally not liking lying to her friend.

"So then what are you doing here?" Tomoyo questioned.

"Oh Eriol and I just wanted to see the new Harry Potter film." Sakura replied, knowing thanks to a certain brown haired someone that Harry Potter was the movie of choice for the date.

"Sakura is there something you want to tell me?" Tomoyo asked her eyes narrowing in suspicion.

Sakura gulped. "Oh dear. Busted already. May Day! Ship going down! Help!' "About what?" Sakura managed in a slightly strangled voice.

"Oh don't be shy," Tomoyo nudged Sakura with an elbow moving her eyebrows suggestively. "Is there something going on with you and Eriol?"

'Whew!' Sakura thought, 'She doesn't know about me helping. Wait. Did she just mean me and Eriol are…What?' "What do you mean?"

"Oh nothing." Tomoyo said innocently, but that little glint in her lavender eyes suggested otherwise. "Why don't you guys sit with us? Syaoran and I are also seeing Harry Potter."

"I wouldn't want to intrude." Sakura protested though not very wholeheartedly considering that was the aim of this conversation.

"It wouldn't be intruding." Tomoyo insisted.

"If you say so," Sakura gave in though also not too thrilled with this accomplishment.

At that time Eriol and Syaoran reappeared with drinks, popcorn, and candy in tow. Syaoran glanced quickly at Sakura who gave a minute nod seeing the tension leave as relief filled his face.

With his free hand, Eriol offered his arm to Sakura, "Shall we?"

Sakura giggled at his gallantry and placed her arm through his. Noticing that Tomoyo and Syaoran were as still as gargoyles on a cathedral, Sakura elbowed Syaoran and motioned for him to do the same. Arm in arm the couples walked into the theater to find their seats.

Tomoyo was followed by Syaoran who was followed by Sakura and was finished with Eriol. And once again silence ensued as the pre show ads played accompanied by smarmy jazz music over the speakers. 'This is going to be a long night.'

"Syaoran, did you know that the director for the third movie is not the one who directed the first two?" Sakura prompted.

"Yeah I heard that he also added in parts that the author was going to use in the future books, but she had never informed him of those things." Syaoran said.

"Wow that's really freaky." Tomoyo piped up, joining the conversation.

"Well maybe it was magic." Syaoran joked and Tomoyo giggled. 'About damn time!' Sakura felt a little proud of the current conversation, tension free and quite easy flowing. But it didn't help that the little ache in her heart was still pulling. Sakura shoved it aside. She had a job to do and she wasn't going to let her feelings interfere with her friends' happiness.

The crowd fell silent as the lights dimmed and the movie began and all four were thoroughly enjoying themselves until something caught a certain auburn haired female's eye. She noticed Syaoran's left hand making the attempt to casually get to Tomoyo's. Riveted Sakura watched as Syaoran, head facing forward, would inch his hand over then stay still for a moment. Then he would move his hand as if to brush a strand of hair from his face and when he placed it back down it would mysteriously be another inch nearer to Tomoyo's.

The room seemed to shrink and grow oppressive as if all the air had been sucked out. Sakura couldn't tear her eyes away nor could she breathe as Syaoran's hand brushed Tomoyo's. She saw Tomoyo's eyes widen but still remained faced forward. Syaoran then slid his hand over hers and their fingers laced. Finally the two turned and gave each other nervous smiles. Sakura's throat tightened and her eyes burned. 'I have to get out of here!' Her mind screamed as she shot out of her seat and pushed passed Eriol and ran up the stairs to the light outside.

Syaoran rose to go see what was wrong when Eriol stopped him, "Don't worry I'll go after her."

"I should see if she's alright." Syaoran protested but Eriol blocked him.

"You're on a date. Sakura wouldn't want to disrupt that." Eriol stated.

Syaoran was about to try again when a harsh voice yelled, "Sit down!" Syaoran reluctantly sat back in his seat as Eriol made his way up the stairs that Sakura had fled on.

Eriol found Sakura pacing in the hall by the restrooms hugging her arms to herself. "Sakura?" He asked cautiously. She looked up and he could see her watery eyes but she was not quite crying. He thought she looked so fragile like all her strength was crumbling away leaving her vulnerable to the slightest breeze to knock her over.

"I can't do this." Her voice light and heavy at the same time.

Eriol put his hands on her shoulders, steadying Sakura. "Then I'll tell them you're sick and I'll take you home."

Sakura gave a weak smile looking into his concerned blue eyes. "Thanks but no. It wouldn't change anything. Besides I promised Syaoran to be there for him and if I left he and Tomoyo would be worried and I don't want to ruin their evening."

Eriol was surprised as her courage. "He wouldn't want you to do anything that caused you to suffer. You know that."

Sakura said nothing.

"Why don't you tell him?" Eriol suggested quietly. It seemed like a good solution in a way but Sakura shook her head.

"It wouldn't work. Trust me." The conviction in her voice kept Eriol from pressing the subject further. Sakura took a deep breath before saying, "We should get back."

As Sakura made to leave she felt strong arms twirl her back around and encircle her in a comforting hug, surrounded by solid warmth she melted into the embrace letting his strength and care fill her up.

After a moment Eriol released her and they headed back to the awaiting couple.

"Are you alright Sakura?" Tomoyo asked, worry apparent on her features.

Sakura racked her brain for a reasonable excuse for her behavior but she was too worn to locate one. Luckily Eriol came to her rescue. "Well little missy here didn't listen to me when I warned her having a Big Gulp before the movie would not be the smartest move. And of course who had to go dashing to the bathroom mid-movie due to a screaming bladder?"

Syaoran was still doubtful, "Sakura are you sure everything's okay?" Something in her expression bothered him. Sakura was hiding something and he wanted to know. But he never got to discover her response as a wave of buttered popcorn showered upon them as multiple "Shhhhhhhhhhs!" Could be heard. Never keep Harry Potter fans from their beloved movie, it only angers them.

When Sakura got home later that evening she barely managed to crawl up the stairs and collapsed on her bed lacking the energy as her tired body reflected the emptiness that resonated inside. She slowly rolled over and reached into the dresser drawer by her bed pulling out a most precious possession, her journal where she put her thoughts. It was a way to keep from bursting, to keep her secrets from leaking from her mouth. This journal had been hers since freshman year chronicling the entire Syaoran Tomoyo saga and the torment of being a witness. Its pages were filled from daily like entries to drawings to poems to random phrases, anything to release what was pent up inside.

Sakura lifted the pen to a new page and let the poison inside bleed onto the white paper never noticing the runs in the ink where her salty tears fell.

I yearn to have him love me

To know that I care

I know my feelings will change our friendship

Yet for good or bad I do not know

I fear that if he knows

He will reject

Grow cold

Lost in an expanding world

Sharpened with pain

Seeing him love someone else

Wishing to be that someone else

So deep it tears me up like shredded paper

The pieces blowing apart in the wind

Maybe one day we can become more than friends and journey beyond

But as each moment flies by my dreams begin to wear thin

What will happen to me if the dreams disappear

I do not know

My heart might break

My soul might die

I only hope…