"He's not here?"
"I said I'm sorry, Noriko-chan. He's not feeling well."
"So he's feeling under the weather. Big whoop-de-doo!" Noriko-chan throws her arms up. "It's three days before opening night; he's not allowed to fall sick in bed!"
"I've seen him," Sae-chan tries to defend me. "A black cloud hovers over him. It's worse than pneumonia."
Noriko-chan, purple in the face, starts pacing. "This isn't good. This isn't good! Toushi is a main character, and there is no understudy. I trusted you, Satoshi-kun!"
I felt slightly embarrassed by her.
Noriko-chan goes to her knees and shouts to the ceiling. "Qu'est-ce que j'ai fait?"
"She's so distressed, she's speaking in tongues," Sae-chan whispers.
Noriko-chan somehow makes her way to center stage with shoulders slumped. "So many hours of practice in ruin. If only God could help me out."
The spotlight instantly shines down on her, sending the dust sparkling. However, Noriko-chan's expression drops three-fold.
"Not funny, Ryu-san!"
The light turns off.
Sae-chan sighs and sits down next to me. "Satoshi-kun must feel so guilty about the play."
I laugh. "He's not feeling guilty. Sure, he's miserable in fighting his blood, but he play was and still is the last thing on his mind."
"Do you think he'll be able to perform?"
"I really don't know," I reply. "His condition isn't improving or worsening. It could go either way."
"Has his mother come for him?" She asks.
"No, I don't think so. It… it makes me so angry! Why would any mother put her son in such pain and danger? I realize how much she hates me, but it's not an excuse," I say. "Satoshi doesn't deserve that treatment."
"Satoshi?" Sae-chan raises her eyebrows.
"He…" I blush slightly, "he asked me to drop the honorific."
"Oh!" She claps. "That's so cute!"
"Quit it."
"Oh, what if your parents come home early to see Satoshi-kun on your couch?" Sae-chan questions. "Cane I come over then? Can I come over?"
"Why?"
"To see the look on their faces."
"Well, hopefully he'll be better by the time they come home and he'll be out," I say.
"But where will he go?" Sae-chan asks.
I sigh. "I don't know."
"Si je te donne une saucisson tu mange pour trios jours. Si je te donne un jambon tu mange pour trios semaines," Noriko-chan's voice echoes in the distance.
"Let's help Noriko-chan," Sae-chan says. "I think she's at the end of her rope."
---------------------
Walking home after rehearsal, a thought suddenly hit me. This town; I always pictured it as so small, but in reality, it is too big. These circumstances and the odds proved ridiculous. We, being all my friends, acquaintances, teachers, enemies, and myself, were all a tiny sliver of a pie chart. Most citizens don't even know we exist. A spec of dust slowly settling to the ground.
Will I ever get anywhere? I want to travel, live in a different city with different scenery. Different people, streets, sky. Oh, to break free of this eternal snow globe…
"Tadaima," I call as I open the door.
"Okaeri," A mumble replies.
"How are you feeling, Satoshi?" I ask, kneeling next to the couch.
"Fine, I suppose," He says, shifting slightly.
"Are you sure you don't want to stay in a bed?"
He shakes his head. "I wish not to be a burden."
"You'll never be a burden."
He continues to shake his head 'no'.
"Something to drink? Eat?" I ask.
"No thank you, I'm fine."
"Noriko-chan had a fit today," I report. "With you not showing up."
Satoshi laughs, almost evilly. "If she thinks I'm eating myself up about it, she's dead wrong."
"I knew you couldn't care less," I nod. "She was so upset, she started rambling in French."
"French?" Satoshi inquires. "Loves drama, she does."
"She's an emotional person. She's really looking forward to this play, as well."
Satoshi quickly looks away, remaining silent. So, I stare at the side of his head.
"Stop giving me that look," Satoshi says.
"Sa-to-shi," I prod him in the shoulder. "Kocchi wo muite."
He grunts in frustration. "Quit it."
"I'm pouting."
It was a lie, but worth a try.
"Alright! Alright!" He rolls back over to face me. "You know it's hard for me to say no to you."
I giggle. "I know."
"I'll call Noriko-san and tell her I'll be able to perform," Satoshi says.
"Now don't force it!" I reply. "If you don't recover enough, it's out of the question."
He tries to pout.
"Oh, no, no!" I say. "You don't have the lip for it."
He smiles briefly.
"I'll go grab the phone!" I announce. "Prepare your suck-up speech."
"Mou, Noriko-san, kono ama," Satoshi groans. "Yugi ga totemo baka yaro!"
"Calm down, calm down," I say, reaching for the phone.
However, it rings before I can. Everything is hushed.
"Expecting someone?" Satoshi asks.
"No."
"Well, are you going to answer it?"
I pick up the receiver. "Moshi moshi. Mizuhana-desu."
…Fuzz.
"Kasumi?" A voice finally answers.
"Okaa-san?"
"Ah! Yes!" My mother replies. "I'm so glad my cell phone works this far. I hope this isn't roaming…"
"Okaa-san, why are you calling?" I ask.
"To check up on your, of course!"
"You never have before. Why now?" I reply.
"Well," Mom sighs. "Did you receive our post card from Monaco?"
"Yes."
"Your father," Mom says, "it was your father's idea, but…"
"You won't be coming home next month," I clarify.
"No, we won't. I wanted to call because it would take too long for a letter to reach you."
"I see."
"Of course, we'll keep in touch," Mom says. "I have so many souvenirs for you!"
"Thank you," I reply. "Well, good-bye."
"Good-bye! Love you, honey!"
I hang up.
"Your mother?" Satoshi questions.
"Yes. She's not coming home next month."
"I'm sorry, Kasumi," He says. "I know how much you were looking forward to it."
"Eh," I shrug softly. "It was too good to be true anyway."
A moment passed.
"Do you still want me to call Noriko-san?" He asks.
"You can wait. She'll live."
Satoshi sighs. "Thank you. I was foreboding her arm extending from the phone to strangle me."
He tries to reenact his struggle with Noriko-chan's arm, which in reality was his own.
"I'm surprised at how much better you're feeling already," I say.
Satoshi stops and lies still, staring at the ceiling. "There's something about this house. It's so comforting. It holds no bad memories."
I walk up to the side of the couch. "Do you have the strength to sit up?"
Satoshi heaves himself up, biting his lip in the process. "Yeah. Why?"
"So I can sit next to you," I reply, taking my seat.
"Oh," Satoshi plainly nods, but the drag in his voice was flattering.
Leaning my head onto his shoulder, I couldn't help but sigh. The lovely sandalwood scent wasn't as strong as usually. Curse my house for trying to blend him in with everything else. He slides his arm around my shoulders and how I desired to simply drift off in sleep. This feeling that settled in my chest was so serene, so welcome.
"Kasumi?"
"Just a little bit longer?"
"…Yes. A little bit longer will be nice."
We're in the middle of the winter
And walking hand in hand
Long time no see, but now you're here with me
To bless this icy land
If the night is dark and cold, I will warm you with my kiss
Let me hold you in my arms again, and vow to stay with me
Through the snow
I was always sad and cold, all alone, before we met
Now you've taught me how to find the light
Even in darkness of winter
We are wandering hand in hand
Up and over the hills of snowWe'll keep on walking through winter
-- Yuki Kajiura, Winter
----------------------
"Oh, I'm so proud of this embroidery," Sae-chan sighs. "Plus, I have you, Kasumi-chan, wearing it! I'm so lucky…"
"Sae-chan," I say, "It's just a dress."
"But it's my creation! I know how Joe Hisaishi feels now when Tokyo Symphonic Orchestra plays his music."
"The sash is a bit tight," I gasp.
"Oh!" Sae-chan laughs, loosening the bow. "Sorry."
I gaze in the mirror and hardly recognize myself. The dress was in fact beautiful; lace trim around the low, square-cut collar, flowing sleeves past my hands, Sae-chan's hand embroidered sash of blue flowers and pink curls in every direction, and a skirt that sat perfectly on my hips and played with my ankles. I loved it, but didn't want to admit it. Sae-chan's impeccable work was worth the compliments, but she'd never accept the praise. She's so humble. It's amazing.
"I wonder if Satoshi-kun will like this?" Sae-chan ponders. "It's you who is wearing it, after all. His jaw is going to drop to the floor."
"Yakamashii," I mumble.
"Kasumi-chan, you must think higher of yourself!" Sae-chan says. "You're a very pretty girl, whether you like it or not."
"Only in your dress."
Sae-chan shakes her head. "Anyway, will Satoshi-kun be able to perform?"
"Well," I start, "he's feeling better now. It's been three days since that missed rehearsal. He eats more, so that's good. Walking around hasn't been a problem and his eyes are slowly getting their color back. He needed his sunglasses this morning."
"I suppose that's a good sign," Sae-chan says.
I nod.
"What about you?" She asks. "What's happening with you?"
"… I don't know."
"Has it stopped?"
I pause.
"I had a dream last night. I… I was wearing this dress and walking down the street towards Yousei when I bumped into Ryu. I felt angry. So angry. I grabbed his shirt and he looked terrified. And then… I bit him."
"On the neck?" Sae-chan asks quietly.
"Yes. Like Hanako bit me."
I finger my scar lightly.
"He screamed."
"Kasumi-chan, I don't believe that means anything," Sae-chan says. "I mean… you and Ryu-kun have never been in good relations."
"I know, but when I woke up," I reply, "I felt good. Refreshed. Excited."
"I wouldn't worry about it," Sae-chan almost whispers, fixing my sash again. "Maybe if you don't think about the transformation, it'll slow down again."
"Actually, I think this is the calm before the storm."
"Be positive!" Sae-chan smacks me across the back. "If I hear another negative statement out of your mouth, I'll rip these hair-extensions right off your head."
"Oww," I gingerly hold onto my ponytail, which was indeed a lot longer.
"I don't care if you become the most notorious vampire this town has seen, but an optimistic vampire is better than a pessimistic one," Sae-chan says.
Odd perspective, but I suppose I should respect it.
"If I have Satoshi with me, I can survive the transfer," I say. "At least, I hope."
"Pessimism!" Sae-chan bellows.
I quickly duck before she could grab my hair.
A knock issues at the door.
"Kasumi?"
It was Satoshi.
"Oh!" Sae-chan clasps her hands together in excitement. "Please come in, Satoshi-kun! I want to see if my measurements fit you well."
The door slowly swung open, revealing a rather disheveled and disappointed looking Satoshi. The pants weren't quite long enough, and the off-white shirt appeared to be a size too big. Sae-chan moaned softly behind me, which didn't necessarily boost Satoshi's self-confidence. If anything, he was burning with embarrassment. A person like him; yes, it was hard to believe, but Satoshi truly flushed at the thought of anyone seeing him in this outfit.
"Gomen, ne? Satoshi-kun?" Sae-chan bowed shortly to him.
Satoshi closed his eyes in frustration, apparently concentrating on how not to harm Sae-chan.
"Please, um, if you just stand on this stool over here, I can fix those pants for you," Sae-chan says. "I'm not sure how to fix the shirt, though."
Reluctantly, grinding his teeth, Satoshi stepped up on the stool for Sae-chan to remove the hemming.
I stand in front of him. "It's just a small mistake."
"I guess so," Satoshi replies.
His eyes suddenly bulge. Sae-chan accidentally poked him with her needle.
"Chikushou, deme--,"
"I'm sorry!" Sae-chan hastily dabs the spot with a tissue.
"Calm down," I say, resting my hands on his shoulders. "It's just a play. A costume. Temporary."
"Who ever said I wanted to do this in the first place!" Satoshi asks roughly. "I need to make clear to Noriko-san to keep her nose in her own dirt."
I sigh and Sae-chan frantically continues to tailor Satoshi's pants.
"…Um, you look nice. In your dress…"
"Thank you."
Sae-chan snickers under her breath triumphantly, just before pricking Satoshi once more.
-----------------------
Peeking around the curtain, the crowd was visibly still shuffling into the auditorium. My stomach instantly jumped into my throat and I had to look away. I knew my nerves would get the best of me. I'm no performer; I told Noriko-chan that over and over again, but she never listened. Rehearsal, sure, I'm fine, but that's when only the cast is watching me. Add another hundred pairs of eyes and I melt like mochi in a cheap steamer.
The stage was nearly set, with fake trees, rocks, small imitations of houses, and a dark blue backdrop for an evening sky. Sae-chan rushed here and there on requests to fix a certain part of someone's costume. Noriko-chan paced like usual with a pencil tightly secured in her teeth. I, myself, simply stood there, for I didn't believe my feet would be able to support me if I moved. Of course, Satoshi was nowhere in sight.
"Kasumi-chan!" Noriko-chan says, quite out of breath. "Do you have your pokemon ready?"
"Pokemon?" I question stupidly. "Oh! Them…yeah, they should be over on the table somewhere. Maybe I moved them…"
"Well, figure out which it is, and take your place left-stage. Curtain time is in five minutes," She taps her watch importantly.
I nod, fearing to ask her anything at all. Her second most hated thing in the world was repeating herself.
Striding over to the far left; my eyes catch a glimpse of bright spotlight, causing my head to pound unexpectedly. This wasn't the time for a headache. I massage my temple lightly to relieve the pain temporarily, but it would take a lot more than that for it to go away. I knew that.
Becoming desperate, I grab a piece of script from a table and run the edge over my finger. It stung something fierce, but my goal was accomplished. A tiny line of blood came forth and I nonchalantly licked at it like candy. The discrete flavor of paper still lingered, making it a little more bitter than normal, but I didn't mind. Tylenol in a pinch.
The curtain drew back and the crowd applauds softly, which was probably thanking the students for finally starting, not encouragement. The villagers worked on their houses and talked about the latest storm. An uncontrollable snore, I can almost guarantee, issued about five minutes in. I didn't blame them.
After a good fifteen minutes, my turn arrived to appear.
Once all the trees were in place and my little fake pond exposed from the carpet of grass, I walked as elegantly as I could to the middle of the stage. My dress rippled around my legs, making me feel like I was floating. Almost sad, really, when you realize you feel most pretty in either a graveyard or pretending to be some stupid forest maiden. The lights were hard, as if freshly replaced, and my eyes winced in return. The audience could have easily mistaken me to have gas. Oh, embarrassing…
Oh! The lines!
"Funny, how good one feels after a spot of rain. When the earth is refreshed, so are you."
Stupidity settled in, but the choice of stopping didn't exist. Continuing, staring straight forward, I felt my stomach do a couple somersaults. My nerves were no sturdier than an excellent flan.
Yet, after a couple more lines, a voice inside told me it wasn't the nerves. My ankles wobbled weakly and my vision blurred. I figured that I was having another attack. This wasn't good, obviously. Not here, not now. From my skin rose goose bumps and teeth began to chatter. Trying to cover it up, I sat down on the closest rock.
Idiotic spotlight, shining right on me, like a pistol about to be fired. How I wished to sleep, right then and there, but my breath was coming in deeper gasps and my words more heavily. I probably sounded slightly intoxicated, or incredibly tired. The taste of acid slowly climbed to the back of my throat. What do I do? Oh, what to do?
Satoshi comes out, earlier than he was supposed to. Thank God, he realized something was wrong.
"You must be Toushi," I say, on cue, slurred.
He grabs me by the shoulders and whispers. "Kasumi? Can you hear me?"
"Just fine," I reply, my tongue getting caught in the back of my mouth. It wanted to eject itself, as if lashing out for a fly. "I'm a little…dizzy."
"Kasumi, stay with me," Satoshi says. "Don't stop fighting it."
"Fight what? This is just a spell," I say, words barely forming off my lips. "I'll be… I'll be alright… in a minute… or two."
"Keep your eyes open," Satoshi demands. "Don't close them."
"For a few seconds only, I promise."
"No. Keep them open."
"It's all… too heavy," I say as my entire body goes limp.
"Kasumi!"
Everything is black for a moment, and when I open my eyes again, a new energy flowed through me, like a fire in my blood. All the voices were so far away, and I felt tall. Superior. Worthy of more than just their attention. Their life. Their obedience.
I'm better than you.
Now… how do I show you that?
Oh yeah…I remember now.
I'll just…teach you a lesson.
That's right… A lesson.
One moment, please… I'll be right back.
------------------
Japanese Romanji Translations! (in order of appearance)
------------------
(Well, this one's French) Qu'est-ce que j'ai fait? – What am I do to?
(This one too) Si je te donne une saucisson tu mange pour trios jours. Si je te donne un jambon tu mange pour trios semaines – If I give you a sausage, you'll eat for three days. If I give you a ham, you'll eat for three weeks. (makes no sense, but it's not supposed to. She's nuts)
Tadaima – I'm home
Okaeri – Welcome home
Kocchi wo muite – Come (or look) over here
Mou, Noriko-san, kono ama. Yugi ga totemo baka yaro – Man, Noriko-san, the bitch. This play is completely stupid.
Moshi Moshi, Mizuhana-desu – Hello (only on the telephone), Mizuhana residence. (I could never find Kasumi's last name o, so I made it up. Mizuhana literally comes out as Waterflower, like her english name. Hope that works)
Okaa-san – Mother
Yakamashii – (slang) Shut up/ You're too noisy
Gomen, ne ? – I'm sorry, okay ?
Chikushou, deme – Damn you !