Of Charms, Crosswords and Hot Professors

Women do most delight in revenge.

-Sir Thomas Browne

"Have you found that book yet?" Libby whined for the 8th time that hour.

We were both sitting in the dusty library, long after curfew, but being the head girl, I had made an excuse for us both.

I groaned and slapped my hand down on the table, "For Merlin's sake, no! Go find that new hot professor to chat up or something!"

Kips laughed nervously, wincing as she looked over my shoulder. I sighed and said, "Pretending he's there isn't going to make me look through these books any faster. I'll just slap you for scaring me." I gestured to a mountainous pile of books stacked in front of us. They seemed to sway slightly, threatening to fall.

Libby scrunched her eyes shut and bit her lip.

"Hot, Miss. Evans? I am the only new professor this year. Surly you are not referring to me?" I heard a voice say behind me. I could hear the smirk.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, hoping I'd wake up from this dream, but alas, after 30 seconds there was an impatient tap of a foot from behind me.

I turned around in my chair, with a large, fake cheesy smile on my face.

"Why hello Professor! Nice night, eh?" I said, obviously checking out the 25year old professor.

Libby nudged me and whispered, "Damn. He's so hot, he's going to burn."

I chocked back a giggle as Professor Cargy shook his dark shaggy blonde hair to get it out of his eyes and looked suspiciously at both Kips and I.

I bit my lip cheekily and let my eyes wander down his body. He chuckled lightly as he caught my eyes, making me blush profoundly.

"I'm guessing the head girl and her friend have a decent excuse as to why they are out of bed – " Professor Cargy checked his watch, "- 2 hours after curfew?"

I was about to act all bashful, but Libby beat me to it.

"We're so sorry sir! Well, You see James Potter is such a prat to poor Lily here. She's done nothing to deserve his undying attention and she hates how he has turned all girls and guys away from her. So you see, we are planning our revenge."

I nodded sincerely, pretending to wipe a non-existent tear from my eye. Professor Cargy laughed and slowly nodded his head.

"I understand girls. Those boys can be quite a handful." He looked at the large pile of books on the table, his clear blue eyes stopping at one, which entitled Transfiguration. Many easy spells, including the classic, sausage to a bun. "Uh, the book you guys want is over there." He finished, pointing at a large dusty bookshelf behind Kips and I. With a mischievous glance in Libby's direction he sauntered out of the library.

Kips and I sat in silence for a moment, just contemplating his almighty hotness.

Eventually Libby looked at me.

"If he wasn't a teacher, I would so do him." She muttered, standing up and walking towards the bookshelf he had pointed at.

--

Libby and I sat in an old, unused charms classroom, slaving over a bubbling hot caldron.

"Phew, I'm sweating like a pig." Kips murmured, while frantically attempting to cut the miniscule rat droppings into 'equal, precise lengths'.

I laughed slightly as I poured in the vanilla food flavoring ("in a sex change potion?" Libby had said doubtfully when we read the ingredients) into the caldron.

"How long is this potion going to last?" Kips asked looking over my shoulder at the yellowing parchment of the book.

"No less then 24hours. Depends how much strawberry lip gloss we add." I answered, now squeezing drops of liquefied cat whiskers into the bubbling greenness.

"Add the whole tube then." Libby grumbled as she lay down on the cold stone floor, sprawling herself into a strangely awkward shape.

"I give up." She said, blowing some hair out her face.

"We've only been working for 8 and a half minutes! You have the concentration of a gnat with chicken pocks."

"Uh huh. And how would you know what the attention span of a gnat with chicken pocks is?" Libby replied, sarcastically.

I rolled my eyes and said, "I read it in The Concentration Spans of Insects with Chicken Pocks you should read it sometime. Its actually very interesting."

"Your such a freak."

"Takes one to know one." I replied childishly.

"Ah, but everyone knows I only hang with you because I pity you. Plus you're good for homework."

I laughed and nudged her lightly in the stomach with my foot.

"Whatever you say Libanoui Isabella Maria Antoinette O'Leary."

She gasped and jumped up, covering my mouth with her hand.

"How did you find out my whole name?" Libby asked.

"I found your birth certificate in a pile of photos while your mum was showing me all those embarrassing fat baby photos of you." I replied, smirking as she looked at me in horror.

"Ooh, that woman is going to wake up one morning and find all her cosmetics incinerated."

I gasped in mock shock, "You wouldn't! Not to your dear old mum?"

Libby grinned and shook her head.

"Nah. Poor woman would die of a heart attack if she had no makeup left."

I laughed and turned back to the potion, adding dollops of sticky, glittery, strawberry flavored lip-gloss.

"There. Done. It should last between 54 and 76 hours when its been brewed for a few days. Not long to wait." I said evilly.

--

Two days later, Libby and I were once again sat in the stuffy classroom, which smelt distinctly of genetically modified strawberries, next to the brewing cauldron, adding a few finishing touches.

"Voila!" Libby said, punching the air in content, "I'm a genius!"

I looked at her in pity. She held a fluorescent green highlighter and a muggle crossword puzzle. She had just figured out a four lettered word for 'a group of animals which are commonly found in water.'

Fish.

I had worked it out before I even looked at the question. Well, there was a large illustration with a clown fish pointing at it.

"Anyway…moving on." I muttered quietly, stirring the potion in an anti clockwise direction.

After a few more moments, the potion started turning a delightfully disgusting hot pink.

"Finished!" I cried gleefully.

Libby looked up quickly, "Phase one of Kept the Name, Made the Change, complete."

"Huh?" I asked, scrunching up my nose in an attempt to figure out what she meant.

"Oh!" I said, grinning as it finally clicked, "I like!" we did a high five and Libby attempted to do a victory dance (failed miserably) whilst I decanted the potion into vials.

Authors comment: hmm...bit of a shoddy chapter...buut, please review! criticism welcome!!