Reality's Dream
Chapter 12: The Breaking of Friendships
Sakura sat in math class desperately trying to concentrate on the worksheet. 'What is the square root of 2,346….How the heck am I supposed to know that? And why can't we just use a calculator and be done with it?' Sakura griped in her head. Finally she could take no more of this painful assignment… "Guys," She wailed "I'm not gonna get this. How bout we just light them on fire and then tell the sub that they spontaneously combusted."
"Hmmmm knowing Ms. Flit we would probably get away with it." Meiling commented nodding her head in the direction of the rather old lady crouched over the desk. "Well as long as the smoke didn't set off the fire alarms," Tomoyo added with a smile. With Mr. Douran out with food poisoning, he had consumed a corn dog that was a bit on the aged side and was now suffering the consequences; the class was left with a substitute that probably had never gone past the sixth grade. Her stooped back made her hobble along with her nearly blind vision. And her skin was so wrinkled that it was rumored they formed actual letters and words if one looked close enough. But of course no one dared try for despite her frail appearance this teacher could get vexed quite easily. Ms. Flit, although not incredibly bright, could bring down the fires of hell. So the students had formed an unspoken agreement. As long as the class didn't mess around she couldn't care less if they talked, shared answers, and the like.
Sakura began to tune out as Meiling launched into a story where the school's quarterback tried playing a prank on Ms. Flit and she caught him in the act and began to humiliate him in front of the class. Rumors flew over what embarrassing acts Ms. Flit made him perform, but all that was known was that the six foot five muscle bound football player was reduced to a spineless cry baby by a little old lady. Her eyes lazily wandered the class until her gaze met with vibrant cerulean eyes across the room. Sakura couldn't help the smile that spread across her face from the warm expression on Eriol's face. Although neither had spoken of the little kitchen incident it was definitely clear that their friendship was changing. Their conversations became more teasing and flirting. They kept meeting each others gazes all the time. And this was not going unnoticed.
"So what's going on between you two?" A voice mischievously questioned. Sakura tore her eyes from Eriol to find Meiling and Tomoyo leaning in eager and curious.
"Huh? What do you mean?" Sakura asked not entirely sure what had just been asked.
Tomoyo and Meiling exchanged a look. "We mean between you and Eriol over there and the making goo goo eyes at one another." Tomoyo said with a smirk, knowing she wasn't wrong about what she'd seen. Something was definitely going on.
"Oh it's n-nothing." Sakura stuttered slightly, averting her gaze and playing with her hair. Her friends definitely noticed the pink tint that appeared on her cheeks.
"Sakura." Meiling said sweetly. "You're blushing."
'Crap. Busted.' Sakura thought. "Alright, I don't really know what's going on….but well…last week we…kissed." Sakura admitted.
Tomoyo squealed with delight while Meiling remained thoughtfully silent her ruby eyes watchful. 'So Eriol kissed Sakura. Syaoran will not handle that well, that's for.' She began to worry for their friendship. With Syaoran's growing attraction to his best friend there was no knowing how he would react if Sakura and Eriol started going out.
"I knew it. You two are sooooooo cute together." Tomoyo gushed. "And…we can even double date now that we both have boys!"
"Tomoyo it could just have been a fluke." Sakura voiced her doubt, and not only that, the idea of going out with Eriol with Syaoran there just seemed…wrong. Unbeknownst to her, Meiling was having the same thoughts.
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Syaoran watched from the cafeteria door at the table occupied by his usual crowd of friends. But his intense gaze was focused on a particular two of those friends. 'Is there something going on?' His mind questioned for the thousandth time that week. Ever since that phone call he had been observing Eriol and Sakura interact. He was not liking the smiles that kept appearing on their faces, the looks they exchanged whenever their hands brushed as they reached for their drinks, or the way Eriol would tease Sakura. It was Syaoran's job to make fun of her, to make her laugh and smile. He could feel his stomach boil at the mere of thought of someone else taking his place.
So deep were his reflections that he didn't notice his girlfriend come beside him until she slipped her arm in his and said, "Aren't they so adorable?"
Syaoran sharply turned his head down to Tomoyo's searching her giddy violet eyes. "What do you mean?"
"Well there's something happening between them and I thought we could give them a little helpful shove by maybe doubling with them on a date?" Tomoyo looked up pleadingly knowing that Syaoran might need a little convincing since he was so protective of the auburn haired girl. Besides if they doubled he would be able to keep a watchful eye on Sakura and maybe have his fears eased. She was expecting him to be upset, but the severity of his reaction went beyond predictions.
His ocher eyes smoldered dangerously as they narrowed. "Eriol asked her out?" His rumble sounded almost like a threat.
"Well not yet but at the rate things are going he will be. I mean they've already kissed so no doubt it won't take too long." Tomoyo said in a breezy rush almost hoping he wouldn't hear her exact words. But he needed to know and would have found it out sooner or later.
Instead of responding Syaoran began to stalk toward the lunch table with a frazzled Tomoyo scurrying to catch up with him. 'Oh no,' She thought regretfully. 'What have I done?'
"Eriol can I speak with you a moment?" Syaoran spat out. Despite the seemingly polite words, the question was definitely a demand not a request. Sakura wondered at her friend's darkened expression who wasn't even meeting her gaze. Eriol gave her a farewell smile before being led away, leaving a befuddled Sakura to an approaching Tomoyo, worry clearly written on her pale face.
Syaoran and Eriol entered an empty classroom, a little chill from the cool weather and lack of usual body heat when packed with students.
"So what's up?" Eriol asked casually his stable tone not betraying the uneasiness he felt. Syaoran looked livid and for one not big on showing emotion, that meant trouble. Syaoran's face was still rather stony but his eyes were blazing.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Syaoran's icy voice drummed. He'd barely raised his voice but he might as well have screamed for the force behind the statement.
Eriol moved back a little startled at his friend but also beginning to be annoyed. 'What the hell have I done to piss him off?' A certain green eyed girl came to mind, but he shoved that aside. 'How would he know about that yet? It's not like we're going out.' "What are you talking about?"
"I mean you and Sakura." Syaoran closed the distance between the two and his tall figure although not much bigger in height, seemed to tower over Eriol whose eyes had widened slightly with realization. "I thought I warned you not to mess with her. She's too innocent for that kinda thing."
Shock quickly turned to anger. "I am not messing with her as you so put it." Eriol stated looking disgusted that Syaoran would even suggest him capable of doing something so low. "And shouldn't Sakura be the one to decide what she is or isn't ready for?"
"Just leave her alone Hiiragizawa." Syaoran threatened and expected compliance. It never occurred to him that Eriol might resist.
"No." Eriol countered equally as icy, almost enjoying the slight tremor of shock that passed in his opposite's face.
And there it was, a shattering of a friendship as both fought over one girl.
"Be careful what you say. Are you sure this is the choice you want to make?" Syaoran questioned, his implication quite clear. He was giving the blue eyed boy the chance to rescind and stay amicable. But Eriol's mind was made up; this chance with Sakura was worth fighting for. He could find happiness and he wasn't about to just let it slip away.
"Look just because you can't see how amazing Sakura is doesn't mean others haven't. You're lucky some other guy hasn't already taken her away from you. They fear you and so you felt safe that she would always be yours. But this time you can't intimidate me; you can't keep me away." Eriol stated his face resolute, challenging.
Syaoran bristled at these harsh words, and at the truthful ring they left behind. He could feel his anger boil inside his veins restraining the urge to inflict it upon some external object, especially the young man who stood before him. "For the last time, stay away from Sakura."
"Syaoran, enough." A voice commanded.
Both boys turned to see two girls standing in the doorway, who knows when they had arrived. But from the watchful amethyst eyes of Tomoyo and the sharp emerald eyes of Sakura, it had been long enough.
Sakura stepped into the room, moving in between the two boys forming a barrier. "Eriol I'm sorry." Sakura apologized for her friend's behavior, placing a hand on his arm causing his tensed body to relax. He hadn't even realized how his body had been poised, ready for a fight until he felt the tension release. This gesture, though, had the opposite effect on the one standing behind Sakura, in fact inciting more protest.
"Sakura you cannot go out with him." Syaoran demanded, his voice tinged with fury, authority, outrage, and even maybe desperation.
But this only sparked contrariness in her as she twirled around to face him. "Oh I can't, can I?" She sarcastically challenged. "What right do you have to determine who I go out with?" She had to admit that even though she had dealt with Syaoran's protectiveness before, she had hit her limit. He didn't want her and had found another; wouldn't he at least allow her the same comfort?
"You just can't alright?" Syaoran said.
Sakura sighed in frustration. "And why not? Give me one good reason why I shouldn't go out with Eriol?"
Syaoran remained silent. But he could see the softening of her expression as her eyes began to shatter like a window, the little shards of glass slowing tinkling to the floor.
'There is no reason.' "Syaoran,' Sakura whispered, her frail voice barely audible. "What's wrong with me?"
Syaoran was momentarily shaken from his anger, taken aback by her question. He didn't understand what she was asking.
"What's so bad about me," Sakura continued shakily as the tears began to form, ready to spill. "What is so terrible that you won't let me near any guy…fearing I'll wreak havoc on the male species or something?" Sakura questioned uncertainly with a hint of sarcasm, her emotions making it hard to rationalize this possible reason.
"Sakura, that's not it." Syaoran said trying to find the words to explain the real meaning of his fiery protection. But how can one tell what one doesn't know?
"Then what is it?" Sakura bit out her strength growing from her desire to know. "It's not because of Eriol. He's a good guy and you know it. He's not one of the jerks who are out for a piece of ass. You even told me once that if Tomoyo had wanted Eriol you would gladly have given up on her because he was a worthy person, your friend. If you were willing to let your girlfriend be with him, why not me?"
Still silence.
"And it's not like you're jealous. I know that you see me as family. But even Toya approves of him." Sakura stated listing off all the reasons she could think of.
Syaoran raised his eyebrow dubiously at this. There was no way Toya would let any guy near his little sister. Syaoran was positive of that fact.
"It's true." Sakura countered seeing the doubting expression on Syaoran's face. With a cynical snort of laugher, "Toya practically welcomed him with open arms. Even suggested we spend some 'alone time.'" Syaoran did not like the bitter feeling that spread through him at the thought of Toya approving of Eriol and Sakura being together, especially when Toya would get violent if Syaoran merely had dinner with her. "So if everyone else in my life finds nothing wrong with this then why do you? And since you clearly respect Eriol the problem is with me not with him. So again I ask what is it about me that you find so wrong?"
Syaoran was dumbfounded, unable to respond as he watched the tears began to travel down her face. How he wished to just sweep her into his arms and just hide her from all her fears and worries. But he knew that wasn't what she wanted. She wanted answers. Answers that he didn't even have for himself.
"Don't I deserve the chance to find love?" She asked weakly her stricken gaze locked on his. 'He's found his. Does he really want me to be so alone and miserable?'
But her words brought a different response. A flicker of fear passed through Syaoran's amber eyes as he stepped closer to Sakura. "Are you in love with Eriol?"
Sakura's mind reeled. One half of her shouting, 'No! I love you, you idiot!' The other half wondering, 'Love…do I love…Eriol?' Her confused eyes searched the room traveling from Eriol to Tomoyo till they rested back on her best friend in front of her, before turning and fleeing unable to withstand the overwhelming emotions that swirled inside her. Eriol shot a quick glare at Syaoran before heading off after Sakura. Tomoyo just stayed at the door her eyes observant as Syaoran collapsed into a nearby desk, his head falling into his hands.
Syaoran had never felt so out of control before and his mind raced trying to discern what was going on. One thing was crystal clear through this mess. Sakura was hurt…and he was the one who had inflicted the pain. He could still picture the broken look in her eyes as she questioned her worth. 'How could she think anything's wrong with her? Doesn't she know how important she is to me? And why couldn't I tell her otherwise.' He just didn't understand. Normally he was not one to fly off the handle but when Tomoyo had implicated that Sakura and Eriol might be…he had flipped out. Something in him had snapped. The idea of Sakura being with another guy filled his stomach with a sickening dread and an icy rage to flare his temper. And now this loss of control led to messing with his two most important friendships. It was clear he and Eriol were as good as enemies unless one of them backed down. And Sakura was hurt and angry. He would need to apologize…but what could he say? He still had no answers.
"She's right you know." A gentle voice spoke near Syaoran. He looked up to find Tomoyo sitting in the desk beside his watching him carefully. "Eriol is a good guy."
"But…" Syaoran struggled to defend his position. "It's just not right," Was all he could come up with, going with the gut feeling he had.
"Don't you find it a little odd that you would let your girlfriend go out with him but not your best friend?" Tomoyo asked innocently.
"It's just that Sakura is too innocent to get involved." Syaoran reasoned. "She'll get hurt."
"You know that Eriol would never intentionally hurt her. And getting hurt is the risk people take when they open up to each other. We took that risk ourselves. So why can't Sakura? Sakura's the only one who can decide if the risks are worth chancing by going out with Eriol." Tomoyo said firmly but lightly.
'She's right,' His mind thought. But his body was screaming something else. 'Why can't I accept it?' Syaoran wished to understand what his body was telling him. Right now it was acting like something foreign; like it wasn't even a part of him anymore and now he needed an interpreter. "I just don't know," Syaoran mumbled, more to himself than anything else.
"If she loves him, you need to learn to let go. It's not always your job to protect her. She can do things on her own, and others can be there for her as well." Tomoyo added as if trying to convince him. But her words never got through. The world had dropped away at her first four words, 'If she loves him.' Syaoran couldn't stand the pressure that built on his chest or how his throat cramped up making it difficult to breathe. Tomoyo did not miss the stricken look that came across her boyfriend. He seemed like a little lost puppy that had just been slapped by its master. She quickly got up leaving him to think while she escaped before any tears could betray her true feelings. Once outside the room she leaned on the lockers beside it letting the painful realization wash over her.
This is what she had feared. This is what had made her hesitant towards Syaoran's initial advances. She had wondered about Sakura and Syaoran's closeness but brushed it off as true friendship. She was curious at how protective Syaoran was, so caring of Sakura, but she excused it as Syaoran's kind heart. His trust of her, his teasing her, the list could go on and on. All of the signs that she had chosen to ignore. But she could ignore it no longer. Syaoran would have let Tomoyo be with Eriol, his girlfriend, his supposed love, yet wouldn't bear the idea of Sakura being with the same guy and she was only his best friend. 'I could never match up to her importance,' Tomoyo's heart broke with that thought. Although Syaoran's feelings may not be clear one thing was obvious, the place in Syaoran's heart was already filled and it was not by her.
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A/N: Thank you to all who reviewed.