Chapter Four
It was early morning before the process ended and when Gandalf searched her opened mind, he found no evidence of the knowledge they were trying to suppress. "It is done," he said and put his hand on Legolas' shoulder as Elrond and Arwen removed their hands from beside Haehithien's head and fell silent. "She will sleep peacefully now, her pain has ceased. You will stay with her?" Legolas only nodded, his mind and heart were in turmoil as unknown emotions ran through him, and he couldn't leave her now. Gandalf looked over at Elrond and asked, "Can I have some time alone to speak with Legolas?"
Elrond and Arwen both nodded to him, then Elrond said, "I believe we may actually sleep today…I imagine your energy is drained, too, my dear?" Arwen nodded her admission. "We will leave you then," he answered Gandalf as he and Arwen left the room leaving Gandalf and Legolas alone with Haehithien as she slept.
Gandalf walked over to the hollow windows and stared out at the low hanging moon holding his hands clasped behind him. "I am sorry that both of you had to endure that, my friend. However, I must say that I was in agreement with the council, it was necessary for her safety as much as yours and the rest of us."
Legolas sighed and lowered his head to Haehithien's hand, then took a deep breath before he raised his head. "Gandalf," he asked, his voice shuddering with fear. "Can you truly tell me that she'll be alright?" Gandalf sighed heavily and Legolas knew the answer before he even spoke.
"That I cannot. The blocking worked, I can tell you that much. We will not know the true extent of harm – if any - until she awakens, Gandalf said as he turned from the window, pulled a chair up next to Legolas, and sat down. Legolas bowed his head once more to Haehithien's limp hand that he still held, and tears streamed down his face as he took shuddering breaths. Gandalf wished more than anything that he could console his friend and tell him everything would be fine. "You love her, don't you?" he asked gently, though he already knew the answer. Legolas didn't answer and never lifted his face. He realized then just how dangerous this new feeling was. Gandalf broke into his thoughts and asked, "Have you told her?"
"I tried," Legolas said with a mumbled sob as he shook his head and his breath shuddered.
Gandalf sighed and placed a gentle hand on Legolas' shoulder as he spoke. "My dear, dear friend. I have known you a long time. It pains me to see you like this. May I ask what you did say to her?"
Legolas nodded and between shuddering sobs, he told the wizard what he had said to Haehithien earlier that evening. "I never told her how I really felt," he whispered. "I tried, but the words wouldn't come. I felt something for her then, but I didn't know what it was. All I could tell her was that I would rather die than watch helplessly as any harm befell her. I did not know what it was about her, I still don't, but when she was smiling at me earlier, I felt as though my world was spinning, like I was going to fall," he paused and swallowed hard over a lump that formed in his throat before he continued. "And drown in her eyes."
The old wizard smiled sadly, his friend had finally found love. He wished for Legolas' sake that the woman would make it through the aftermath of the blocking spell healthy and that the feelings they seemed to have for each other lasted. "Gandalf," Legolas said quietly. "I'm afraid of what I feel for her. I've never felt like this before. I'm not afraid for me; so much as I am for her."
"My friend," Gandalf said with a gentle smile. "It seems to me that you are experiencing love. Why do you fear it? You have to tell her. You can tell her now, if you like, she isn't unconscious, merely asleep. I must warn you however, I feel that Boromir lusts for her." Legolas raised his head slowly and stared angrily at the wizard. "It is true; I felt this emotion from him during the council meeting. I watched him the entire time and he never took his eyes from her unless it was to scowl at you from the mere mention of your name. He did not look at her the way you do; the look in his eyes was that of a predator stalking his prey. You must tell her how you feel soon, you must claim her as your own."
Legolas looked at Gandalf in horror. "Claim her? If you mean me to lay claim to her body, I won't do it. I will not do anything to hurt her, ever. I will not force myself upon her, especially if that is not what she wants."
Gandalf sighed in defeat. "I am sorry, my friend. I did not mean it that way, nor did I intend you to take it so. I just wanted you to be aware of Boromir and the danger he presents. That's why you must claim her. There's more than one way to do so." Legolas looked at him perplexed. "You must tell her how you truly feel and find out how she feels for you or Boromir will do what you have said you will not," Gandalf said urgently.
"Well," Legolas said with a sigh. "I am not sure I can tell her how I feel, but I promise you this, I will not leave her easy prey for Boromir."
"For both your sakes, I hope you hold true to that promise. By the way, what will you do if she hasn't regained her strength by tomorrow? Remember, we are to leave then," inquired Gandalf.
"Well, I guess you'll have to leave without us. I'll be taking Nieninque. He's very swift. When she awakens, we'll follow you. We may be a day behind you at the latest, she can sleep while we ride if need be. Nieninque does not tire easily, we could catch up to you by early morning if we ride into the night," Legolas said.
"Very well," Gandalf said. "If we leave without you, I was planning on heading south before passing through the Gap of Rohan." Legolas nodded and turned back to Haehithien's bedside. "Before I go, there is still something that is bothering me. I still do not understand why you are afraid to love her. Oh, never mind that now, we can talk about that later." With that, Gandalf turned and left Legolas alone with Haehithien.