He continued to scrutinize me and I decided enough was enough. I didn't care if he didn't have a good life or not. God, didn't his mother teach him that it's rude stare? Although he was thoroughly creeping me out, he also made my mood considerable better. I wasn't invisible—at least not to him. He was actually noticing me, so if he was noticing me, maybe some other people would start to notice me as well. Maybe I wasn't as hideous as I thought.
"Miss, where do you want us take these boxes?" Another man asked me. I smiled politely at him.
"If you'd just like to follow me, I'll show you the way. It's the first door on the left upstairs." I led them both upstairs . It took them about a half an hour to unload all the boxes and transport them upstairs. I gave them both a large tip; they had done a good job. I got a huge pair of scissors from my desk drawer and began to carefully cut open the boxes. I was really nervous. What if they looked shit on me? What if I just looked totally stupid wearing them? Maybe they were too out there for me. Maybe I couldn't pull them off. I had completely psyched myself out, and I knew I was being stupid, but I couldn't help it. I managed to open the first box. "Wow," I muttered to myself. They looked exactly the same as they had in the shop. They were all wrapped up and neatly folded. I was about to start putting them away when I remembered that I still had to call the school, shit.
"Hello, this is Secretary Smith, how may I help you?" an annoying, boring voice answered.
"Oh hello, this is Mrs. Gilmore. I am just calling to inform you that my daughter, Rory, will not be attending the rest of her lessons. I had to pick her up from school at lunchtime, because she wasn't feeling very well." I just hoped my voice didn't sound to fake. If I got caught, I would be completely fucked.
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear she's fallen under the weather. I do hope she's feeling better in the morning. Don't worry, I will tell the rest of her teachers that she won't be able to attend the rest of her lessons. Thank you for calling in, and have a good day."
I smiled, enjoying my success at impersonating my mother. I decided to get back to work and get started on the boxes. It was going to take me ages to organize all of them. I started to sort them out and put them away. The shoes, bags, belts, sunglasses were the hardest, because I had to organize them all. I had just finished putting them away—in the back of my cupboard, so that my parents wouldn't come across them—when I saw Kevin getting out of the car. I couldn't believe it was already three, the time really flew bye. I wondered if he even realized I wasn't with him. He hadn't called my cell, so I guessed what he had said yesterday really didn't mean anything to him—about wanting to spend more time with me. How could he do that if he didn't even realize I'm there, or in this case not there.
Just as I was walking out, I realized what I was wearing—a black, pleated mini-skirt and a white tank top. I quickly ran up stairs to change into something suitable. I could wear my new clothes around the house when I'm by myself, but I was too self conscience to wear it around people. After I'd changed, I sneaked up behind Kevin.
"Boo!"
"Argh, you scared the hell out of me, Ror! What were you thinking?" I giggled, ran back to my room, and laid down on the bed.
The rest of the week went by really quickly. Nothing exciting happened. There was a load of hype about some party, but apart from that, nothing. Nobody even came up to me to say they were going to miss me. Before I knew it, I was leaving Chilton for the very last time. I looked behind me at the grey, stone building and thought about how I was actually going to miss It. I had spent so much of my time there—even if it wasn't the happiest time, it was still time. I was going to miss the library where I spent nearly all my lunches and breaks. School was out and everyone was happy. They were all looking forward to their summer holidays. A mass of blue surrounded me, and for a moment, I just watched as everyone scattered out of the building.
Tonight, I would be staying at the town house, because I was adamant about not going to Kevin's party. It wasn't like anybody was going to miss me. I'd probably just end up hiding out in my room—reading a book—so I thought I might as well just skip the party part and go straight to reading. I made sure I had locked my bedroom door before I left this morning, because I didn't want some random couple making out in my room. Mom and dad were going into town for dinner so I was basically on my own, since they weren't going to be home until late.
I went straight to the town house after my last day as a Chilton student. I didn't want to have to set up the party or clean it up, because I knew Kevin would manage to persuade me into doing it. After I got to the pool house, I put my music on as loud as I could and started dancing around the house. I was alone. I made myself a quick dinner—French fries and a burger. I hadn't eaten for ages and my mouth was literally drooling from the gorgeous smell.
This was so much better than going to that stupid party. I managed to catch up on my TV shows that I had missed because of my homework. Then, I started to read this amazing book called 'junk,' which was about these drug addicts. It really let you get into the minds of junkies. It was around midnight when I finally turned off the lights and went to bed. I was just about to drift off to sleep, when I heard mom and dad arrive home from their dinner. They were so loud. I rolled over and pulled my head under my pillow, but I couldn't block out the sound. I don't know how long I stayed awake, but after a while, it started to rain against my window. It was like an unknown melody letting me in on a secret. It was calming and lulled me to sleep, finally.
Mom's screeching voice woke me up early the next morning. I jumped out of bed and tried to find some fresh clothes—jeans and a baby-tee top. I ran down stairs and saw my mom sitting calmly at the kitchen table.
"Oh, there you are, honey, do you want a cup of coffee? Your father had to go to the office early this morning. He had some last minute business to take care of. We'll probably go back home at around noon, if that's all right with you. I want to give Kevin time to tidy up the house."
"Yeah, whatever," I was only using monosyllables. I really couldn't be bothered to talk to her, especially not without my normal cup of coffee. She was way too hyper in the morning, it was unnatural. All I wanted to do was go and climb back under my duvet cover and sleep for a couple more hours, but that obviously wasn't going to happen. At noon, we got into the Range Rover and made our way home. When we got in, it was not pretty. There were still a few people, who must have slept over, draped all over the hallway. I could see Kevin passed out on the stairs with Madeline right next to him. Mom was going to blow a gasket. She told Kevin to clean up his mess after his bash.
"KEVIN," she screamed, causing him to jolt up in surprise. "You better clean this up before we get home. I'm going to take Rory to get her new school uniform and if it's not clean before we get back, you will be in so much trouble. You'll be grounded for the whole summer!" Kevin immediately started cleaning up the mess that had formulated on the stairs. Going out was his life, he couldn't handle an entire summer inside. I went back outside to the car so my mom could take me to the store. The uniform had a green, pleated skirt with a white blouse and green, v-neck jumper. It took about an hour to find all the assorted material that made up my uniform, and by the end of it, I was ecstatic. I was really going; I was really moving, I couldn't wait. On the way home, I couldn't stop fiddling with the hem of my new skirt. As we pulled into the driveway, we saw a considerable less amount of cars, so I guessed Kevin had really pulled it off. He had tidied up, and had gotten rid of everyone on the floor.
"Kevin, we're home. I hope you've cleaned up this mess." I was surprised to find that he actually had. The house looked spotless. I wondered how he had managed to get it all done.
He gave me a knowing look, as if realizing exactly what I was thinking. It was weird, sometimes our twin thing crept up on me. It's not like we could read minds or anything like in the movies. No, just sometimes I got a sense that he knew exactly what I was thinking and vise-versa. Mom was, of course, pleasantly surprised. She didn't think he would have been able to pull it off, either.
"Well, Kevin, I guess you're better than I give you credit for. This is amazing. The house looks spotless. It's good as new! I hope this has taught you a lesson. Always clean up your own mess, because you'll have to in the real world." She was beaming, she was obviously very proud that her son had not only thrown a great party, but that he had also cleaned up after himself.
"Yeah, it has taught me a great lesson, thanks, mom," he said sarcastically. "Anyway, I need to talk to Ror about something for a minute, come on, Ror!" he added in a hushed tone. I followed him out of the French doors and into the flower garden, which had a few patches missing. The party had obviously taken its toll on the backyard. "So come on, Ror, don't you want to know all the details, who got together with who, why the house was trashed, and, last-but-not-least, how I managed to clean it all up?" He was beaming, I could tell he had had a good night and I knew he wanted to share what had happened. I, on the other hand, didn't really care what had happened, but since I had nothing better to do, I nodded. "Well, it was GREAT! It was absolutely great, although I knew it would be. It started at, like, seven and Maddy and Tristan were the first to arrive. They helped me get it all ready. We had to take down some of the decorations that mom had put up, because they were really lame. Anyway, other people started to arrive, the music was blaring, and everyone was starting to get up and dance, so it was going really well. All of my friends were there and me and Maddy were having fun. Tris was hooking up with some random girl." For some strange reason, this sent a pang to my heart, but I ignored it and Kevin carried on "Then, during the middle of it, it was starting to get a bit boring, everybody was drinking the punch, and it seemed someone had spiked it without us noticing. So, before long, we were all doing stupid things—even me. that's why we were all on the floor and I couldn't wake up." He finished, smiling, he obviously thought I should be impressed, but to be honest, I wasn't. It was just childish, someone had put a tiny bit of alcohol in the punch and they all got a little buzzed. We are only fourteen, so he probably thought it was cool to have alcoholic punch like it was daring. But I played along, fueling his excitement.
"Oh My God, you had alcohol? What was it like? Weren't you worried that someone would find out and that you'd get in trouble? What about the cleaning up?" This was obviously the response he wanted, because his smile broadened—he was pleased with what he had accomplished, apparently.
"Well it was awesome. We all got really drunk—as you can tell. No, I wasn't worried someone would find out, because the only people that would find out would be mom and dad and they would only laugh about it. The cleaning thing was the best, when you and mom left, I called some people that would clean your whole house in an hour for a small price, so I just charged it to the credit card. Dad will just think it was mom wanting to give the house a really good clean—for the party. It was easy and well worth it." I gawked at him. I couldn't believe he hadn't even cleaned up the house. He didn't even ask me how my night was, even though it wasn't exciting, he still should have asked. "Anyway, I'm off to bed to catch up on the sleep I missed out on, night!"
I stayed out in the flower garden for a while, just catching some rays—thinking about the summer holiday I had ahead of me. I didn't have high hopes for it though. For most people, the summer was a time for friends and I didn't have any. Kevin wouldn't even remember that he promised to spend time with me. I sighed. I would just spend my time reading, I had loads of books to catch up on. Maybe I could hang out at the shopping mall for a while, do some more shopping. But that wouldn't take up that much time. Getting up, I headed over to the kitchen and grabbed a cup of coffee. I ran up to my room and I put on one of my all-time favorite movies, 'Charlie and the chocolate factory,' it was the best movie, maybe a little childish, but still good. The new version wasn't as good as the old one. The movie lasted a couple of hours and by the end of it, I felt considerably fatter, because I had munched on popcorn the whole way through it.
"Rory, time for dinner!" my mom's voice rang throughout the house.
"Coming," I yelled back. On my way to dinner, I thought about Chatsworth. There were only a couple of months until I would start there. I went to bed full and content, my mind still fixed on Chatsworth and whether it would be everything I wanted it to be.
The summer went by uneventfully—well, at least for me. I spent the days daydreaming, reading, and occasionally shopping. Kevin had completely forgotten about spending time with me and spent every day goofing off at one of his friend's houses. I lolled about the house, talking to Luke and the rest of the maids—they were the only people that paid any attention to me. On the day that I did go to town, I saw Kevin hanging out—outside of Starbucks—I was going over to say hello, when I just decided to wave and he completely snubbed me, turning around to his friends and started laughing with them—pointing at me.
For some strange reason, his attitude towards me had changed. For the rest of the summer, he just ignored me in the house—barely saying two words to me. If he did say anything, they were sarcastic and hurtful. When he was with his friends, he mocked me openly—criticizing how I dressed. He even went so far as to make the comment that, 'maybe I didn't have any friends because I was such a bore and I had no fashion sense.' At this, Madeline had laughed along with everyone else. I had spent the rest of the day crying to myself. After that day, I tried to spend as much time away from him as I could, but everywhere I went, it seemed he was there to make fun of me. It wasn't jokingly, either it was hurtful. He always talked about how babyish I was and made some comment about how no one would ever want to be my friend or my boyfriend, because I was fat. I tried to pretend that these comments didn't effect me, but they did—especially when all his friends would laugh along, like I was some monkey in the zoo.
I didn't eat as much as I used to. I liked to think that I had just lost my appetite. But underneath it all, I know that it's because of those comments he made. I tried to lie to myself, but it didn't work. Honestly, I didn't just lose my appetite. I hardly ate at all anymore. The only thing that kept me going was the bucket load of coffee I drank. The really sad thing was that I didn't eat at the dinner table anymore. No one had even noticed. It was stuff like that that the make me glad that I was going away. It wasn't like I was anorexic, I wasn't. It's just that I had cut down on what I ate by a lot. I wanted to loose a lot of weight, my body was awful, I wanted to be thinner, I wanted bigger boobs, and longer legs. I hated my body. I'd lost a few pounds already, although it was no where near enough to what I wanted to loose. My bikini was still a bit too tight and I wanted to fit in it perfectly. I wanted to be able to walk past Kevin, by the pool, and not feel self-conscious about myself. I was size eight, that's massive—I wanted to be a six.
A week before I left for Chatsworth, mom and dad decide to go to Europe for a week. Before they went, they promised they'd be back before I had to leave. All I was worried about was that I was going to be home alone with Kevin for a week—which was not something I particularly wanted to do. A constant stream of snide comments and insults was not what I needed before I went to Chatsworth. On top of that, Luke also had to leave for a few weeks—his sister's son was coming to stay with him and he needed to get his house ready. He gave me a heart-felt goodbye, because he wasn't going to see me before I left.
"Bye, Ror, I'm going to really miss you, kid. Have a good time. Call me anytime if you're having a bad time and want to come home. I can fly over to California like that." He snapped his fingers and laughed, giving me a bone-crushing hug.
"I know, Luke, thanks a lot, I'll really miss you. Hopefully, I won't need to call you. I want to have a good time." I spent the rest of the week barely existing, I stayed in my room to avoid Kevin. I just read and listened to my music, I hardly left the room except to go to my bathroom to take long baths. Kevin also ignored me, pretending I didn't exist. He and Maddy just went stayed in his room—giggling and doing god-knows-what. The day before I had to leave, I started to pack. I got out my brand new Louis Vuitton bags—I had about five, large ones, which I stuffed with clothes, makeup, jewelry, and accessories. The other stuff like books and general house stuff I packed into boxes. I was shipping them to California, it was easier than dragging them along with me.
I woke up early the next day and went into my parent's room, but it was empty. They were supposed to come back the night before. I checked the answer machine, and sure enough, I heard their voices flowing over the machine.
'Rory, darling, it's your mom. We are so sorry, but we can't get out of London until tomorrow night, so you'll have to go to school by yourself. I've put some extra money in your account, so you can buy some stuff at the airport. Sorry, we'll see you soon, whenever you want to come home. Tell Kevin not to worry, we'll be there for his opening football game.
I slid down onto the floor and rocked back and forth. They weren't even going to come see me off. I'm was going away for what could be months and they wouldn't come to say goodbye. They were too happy on their vacation. Tears slid down my face, quickly. I couldn't stop them. They were going to come back to see a fucking football game but they couldn't make it to see me for the last time. What was so great about Kevin? Why did they love him more than they loved me? Why was he so special to them and I just got pushed under the rug, forgotten. I stayed like that until I heard the distant sound of my alarm clock going off. I packed my last things, put my pink, track bottoms on and a bright, yellow, tank top and made my way downstairs. I could hear Kevin snoring. Perfect, no one from my dysfunctional family were going to say goodbye to me. I met martin outside and gave him my suitcases. He raised his eyebrow as if asking where everyone was.
"it's just me," I replied dully. He gave me a big smile, hoping to cheer me up. After about a half an hour, we arrived at the airport and I loaded up my trolleys. Martin pushed them for me and I walked in like the heiress I was with my big, Gucci sunglasses and my Chloe bag. I looked like I didn't have a care in the world. What people didn't know was that I wore the sunglasses to hide my red, puffy, tearstained eyes. After I had checked in, I gave Martin a big hug. I walked through security, boarded the plane—first class, of course,—and drifted off into an uneasy sleep full of really skinny people saying I couldn't be friends with them. I woke up when the flight attendant shook me, informing me that we were in California.