Julie's Breakdown

One day they were all in visiting Marissa. It was the anniversary of the accident. It had been 3 years to this day and Marissa was still in the coma. Everyone bought flowers and cute little bears and there were get well cards all over the walls and around the flowers. It seemed nearly everyone had heard about it and continued to send things. Luke Ward, who was still in Portland with his dad, had sent a small bear witha best wishes card and all the girls at the Cardio Bar pitched in and bought a huge bunch of flowers and a large teddy bear with a Get Well Soon balloon.attached to its arm. All the staff who worked with Ryan put together a basket for Marissa's family and many more. Everyone was sittng around Marissa's room, reminising about past holidays and things that have happened of late. They all talked to Marissa made sure she was up-to-date. No-one was ever sure if she could really hear them but they thought maybe their voices would keep her fighting or wake her up sometime. With the exception of one new little voice. "Mawissa!" Little Sophie shreaked each time she saw her. Children are amazing at telling the good people from the bad and they are good at telling when someone has a strong love for them or for someone else. No-one knew it but she could always tell her "bwuda Wyan" had strong feelings for Marissa so everytime they were there she would always be really happy to see her and to see Ryan happy. Usually Ryan would sit next to Marissa on the edge of the bed and Sophie always jumped into Ryans lap. "I think you're gonna make a good dad the way she's always all over you man" Seth joked. Ryan just smiled. He wanted to have kids badly ...but they had to be his and Marissa's kids. That was the only way he wanted it and it killed him to know that might not happen now. If she didn't wake up then he didn't think he'd ever have his own family. He looked down upset by the thought. "You okay sweetie?" Kirsten asked noticing Ryan's mood. "Yeah. I'm fine" "Okay well I think we are gonna head out and get some lunch. Did you wanna come?" "Ahhh no yous guys go on ahead. I think I wanna be alone with Marissa for a little while" Ryan replied. "Okay sweetie well we'll be back in half an hour or so okay!? Cmon Soph Let's go get some lunch!" Kirsten said enthusiastically. "But I wanna stay wif Wyan" Kirsten bent down to Sophie's level and whispered to her "Honey you know how we talked about giving Ryan sometime to be with Marissa alone?Well we need to do that know and we need to go have some lunch and then we can come back to Ryan okay!?" "Okay mommy"

Seth, Summer, Sandy, Sophie, Kaitlin, Neil and Kirsten all filed out the door. Kirsten realised Julie hadn't come and turned back. "You coming Julz?" "Ahh I think I'm gonna stay here to Kiki...that's if you don't mind of course Ryan?" "Umm no that's fine. She is your daughter. I don't mind" Ryan finished "Thanks" Kirsten looked at them oddly. Julie and Ryan had become very close and it was odd to see them on the same side. "Well okay then. We'll be back in a bit.Did you want us to grab you anything?" "No thanks" Ryan and Julie both replied. "Okay. Bye" And with that the room was emptied of all the visitors leaving behind a quiet Ryan and Julie, each sitting on either side of Marissa. It usually would have been awkward but after the accident Ryan and Julie would often be visiting Marissa at the same time and so they had gotten used to each other and gained a new perspective on each other. Many times they had sat their and discussed Marissa and swapped stories about the times they had both shared with her. Julie also realised the amount of love Ryan had for her daughter and realised the special bond they shared. She knew from that point on that he was the one for her. He has always been there...always saved her. I owe him everything for that and when she wakes up I am NEVER getting in the way of their love EVER again. He really is going to make her happy. Julie thought to herself many times when they would just sit together with Marissa, each in their own thoughts and admiration of the beautiful women Marissa had grown into. After that they formed a strong bond and could always sense when something was wrong or when they were having a hard time dealing with Marissa STILL being in the coma. Julie often cried on Ryan's shoulder and he would often console in Julie with his own thoughts.

This time they each were a little down. They both just sat there in silence, not saying a word and just watched as Marissa slept. Each had a thousand thoughts running through their heads and just needed some down time. Just to be with Marissa and gain more hope and in a way support Marissa. They try and try to put positive energy around her constantly to try and help her wake up and get stronger...it hadn't worked yet ...but maybe soon! They both thought. Just then there was a knock on the door. Dr Peterson and another doctor, Dr Phillips entered the room. "Sorry to interupt but we were wondering if we could have a word with you please" Ryan and Julie both looked up. What could they possibly want to talk about. Maybe there has been an improvement.Julie thought to herself. Putting more hopes in her head. Please, please, please let it be good news.Ppppppplease! Ryan tried to beg to no-one in particular but hoping for the best anyway. "Would you mind accompaning us to my office Julie" Dr Peterson continued "Ummm sure. What's this about Dr?" Julie tried "I'd rather like to wait til we are in the privacy of my office if you don't mind" Now Julie was getting worried. Why couldn't he just tell her in the hallway? When they arrived at the office Dr Phillips closed the door behind them and sat between Julie and Dr Peterson. "What's this about?" Julie asked more urgently this time. Starting to get annoyed that he hadn't just come out with it straight away. "Well as you know Marissa has been in the coma for 3 years now and we have been keeping her on life support" "Yes I know all that" Julie replied getting angrier with the more they kept drawing it out. Dr Peterson didn't want to face an angry Julie so he looked at Dr Phillips knowing he would finish it for him. Julie turned to Dr Phillips "Well, Mrs Julie Cooper-Nichol, we think that maybe it's time we took her off life support. 3 years is a very long time to be in a coma and most usually don't wake up after that amount of time and so we think it would be best if stopped life support" Dr Phillips tried to say it as nice and caring as he could but there was never an easy way of saying it. "IT'S MRS JULIE COOPER-NICHOL-ROBERTS NOW AND NO! YOU SAID SHE IS GOING TO WAKE UP AND WE ALL NOW SHE IS SO DON'T YOU DARE TURN OFF THAT LIFE SUPPORT. SHE'S GOING TO MAKE IT I KNOW IT SO GO SHOVE YOUR STUPID COMMENTS ELSEWHERE COZ THEY ARE NO GOOD HER!!!" Julie snapped. She got up stormed out of the office and noticed several people looking at her but she didn't care. I had every right to yell at them. How dare they say they want to kill my baby girl...I WONT let them! Julie stormed back into Marissa's room and sat down and took a huge sigh. "What's wrong? What did they say Julie?" Ryan asked trying not to pressure her for the answers. "HOW DARE THEY, HOW DARE THEY. They said they won't to take her off the life support...but I WONT let them. I know she's going to wake up ...I just know it" Julie had started at a yelling pitch but at the end she sounded tired and defeated. She cried for a couple of seconds then pushed away her tears. "I'm not going to cry. I needa be strong for my baby. Please wake up sweetie..." Ryan was still shocked. But the shock soon turned into anger. "They can't do that. I won't let them. Just wait til they hear from me. They are never gonna take her from me again. I can't lose her again. They're gonna get it" Ryan walked back and forth across the room. "It's okay Ryan I told them where to shove it and gave them a peice of my mind. I do'nt think they are gonna try say anything like that again.Please just sit back down. It's no use yelling and upsetting Marissa if she's asleep. They can't do anything anyway so please sit down. She needs you right now" Julie said, calming Ryan down a little. He was still very angry that they would even suggest something like that but he knew Julie was right. Marissa needed him right now so he sat back down and held Marissa's hand. "It's okay Riss. We won't let them. But please...ppppplease wake up soon" Ryan pleaded with her. He knew it probably wasn't making any difference but he had to try.

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When everyone got back from lunch they could feel the tension in the room. Something had happened...they could all tell that much...but what!? Sandy broke the silence. "Is everything okay guys?" He asked gently. "It is now" Julie replied not looking away from Marissa. "Well does someone wanna tell us what happened ...please?" Seth asked rudely. Summer hit his arm hard. "Ouch!" Seth winced at the pain Summer had just caused. "Umm..."Ryan began.He knew Julie wasn't strong enough to retell what the doctors had said so he did it for her, trying to keep the anger from his voice. "The doctors wanted to turn off the life support" "They WHAT?"Summer screeched out. " They thought coz of how long she has been in the coma that she wouldn't wake up and it would probably be best to turn it off...But Julie told them where to go shove it and they are lucky I didn't go give them a peice of mind either!" Ryan clenched his jaw tight. "Well I'm glad you didn't Ryan. We all know how you can get when your worked up" "well you have Julie to thank for me not doing anything" Ryan replied. They all gave Ryan then Julie a weird look while they were both staring back at Marissa. They stood in silence for a little while. Each with their own thoughts. "Well it's been quite a ...interesting day and I think it would be best if we gave Marissa some quiet time hey!?" Sandy told everyone after a long silence that surrounded the room. "Yeah. Good idea. I think Sophie needs her afternoon nap and i'm sure we could all use a small rest" Kirsten agreed. "Yes. I think I need a small break from the Hospital" Julie added. Everyone started heading out the door when Ryan called after Kirsten. "Hey Is it okay if i come back later?" "yeah sure honey. Take as long as you want" "Mommy can I stay wif Wyan...pppppullllease?" Sophie chirpped up in her mother's arms "No I think we need to get you home for your nap Soph" Kirsten tried. "Pllllllllllllllllease mommy" Sophie tried again this time giving her mom the best puppy dog eyes she could give. "I don't mind. She can have a nap on the couch and I'll bring her home when I'm done here ...if you want?" Ryan interjected "Oh Okay ...but just this once young miss" "Yay! I love you Wyan" Soph added as she climbed into Ryan's arms. "But you have to be quiet for Marissa okay" "Okay mommy. I love you" Kirsten smiled. She always loved hearing that. "Bye sweetie. See you both back at home later" And with that everyone had left. Ryan had held Sophie in his arms and sat on the couch with her until she had fallen asleep. Then he quietly and gently lay her down on the couch and walked over to sit next to Marissa. He had so much runnign through his mind and all he wanted was for her to wake up ...and soon. He didn't know how much more of this he could take.

It was 7.00 o'clock when Sophie and Ryan left the hospital. Sophie had woken up at 6.00 and had talked to Marissa for nearly an hour when Ryan realised it was getting late and knew Kirsten wanted Sophie home for dinner. Sophie gave Marissa a gentle hug goodbye and Ryan gave Marissa a soft kiss on her forehead. When they got home dinner was just being put on the table. "Good timing man" Seth said as Ryan put Sophie down to go give her mom and daddy a hug. Then she came up to her feeding pram "Sef, Sef" Soph cried out for her other brother. "Do you wanna get up lil squirt?" Seth said as he picked up his little sister. "Pwam please?" "First you gotta say my name right Soph...say it Settttttthhhhhh" Sophie still couldn't say it right just yet. "Sef" "No Seth" "Seft" Just then Kirsten came back into the kitchen "Seth stop being mean to your sister" "oh but i was just having fun...one last time Soph...Settttttthhhhh" "Ssssssseth" Sophie tried real hard this time. "Oh my holy jesus and moses...did yous hear that? She actually said it right" Seth laughed. He put here in her feeding pram and bent down to her level. "Alright little sis. Give me 5 man" Seth put his hand up and Sophie hit it. Alright dinners ready. Sit down everyone.

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