A/N: This one's a long one so read if you have the time. P.S. Need some reveiws before I will continue. Thanks all.

Marissa's Return

He thought he was imaging it but then he felt it again... He looked down at his hand. Marissa was moving her thumb around his palm. Then she started coughing. "Marissa...Riss!...OH MY GOD! Baby just relax I'm here just breath through your nose. I'll call the nurses" Ryan pushed the emergency button to call the nurses but was too impatient so he flung open the door and yelled out "Kathy, Kathy. Come quick and someone call Dr. Peterson. She's awake!!!" Ryan had a huge grin on his face and Kathy came racing up the corridor. "Dr. Peterson is on the way. Marissa honey ...Just breath through your nose and go back to sleep while i take this nasty tube out okay?" Ryan had grabbed her hand and she immediately relaxed and started breathing calmly. Kathy took out the tubve that was running down her throat to help her breath and was softly brushing the hair of her face. "Told you today was going to be the day" Kathy said to Ryan giving him a big smile. She laughed at the huge grin on his face. She had never seen him so happy. "Now Marissa the docotrs cming to take a look at you but you're going to be fine just relax and don't try and say anything just yet. "Hey Riss. You're at Orange County Hospital. We had an accident. Volchok run us off the road when I was taking you to the airport and you've been in a coma for 3 years...well 3 years and 5 months to be exact...but you're okay now. I'm here. Nothing's going to happen. Just rest if you're still a little sleepy still. I'll be here all the time. I'm not going anywhere" Ryan soothed.

As soon as Dr Peterson had checked over her and made sure everything was okay, he told her "To just rest and we'll do another check up in the morning". "Obviously the sleep did wonders for you. You seem to be mentally and physically fine. All your reflexes arte working which is good but it may take you a little time to get used to walking and building all your muscles but you should be fine in a few months" He finished "Thank-you" Marissa replied. When Dr Peterson had left Ryan gave Marissa a drink of water and then told her he was just stepping outside to call everyone. "No Ry..." Marissa croaked. Her throat was so dry and sore. "Please don't let them come tonight. I just want ot be with you for a while first" She pleaded. "No you need your rest I'll just tell them the good news before they go to bed...though I don't think anyone will be sleeping much... and I'll just tell them you just want to sleep so come tomorrow. okay!?" "Thank-you" Marissa smiled. Ryan had missed that sooo much. He smiled back then walked out into the corridor but stayed looking through the glass. He rang Sandy and Kirsten first and they said they would pass on the good news to Summer and Seth. Then he called Julie. Making sure each knew not to come tonight as she still needed to rest. They were understanding and complied with their request. Kirsten asked if would be home soon then but Ryan replied "No. I think I'll let Marissa know what has been happening and get her up-to-date and stay with her. Make sure she's okay and that" They said their good-byes and Ryan walked quietly back into the room and sat down just watching her. He saw her eyes was closed and assumed she was asleep but she felt him sit back down and turned to him "Hey" She smiled "Hey" He grabbed her hand and held it in his. "So all I had to do was come in early and call you baby to wake you up hey?" "I'm sorry" "Don't be all I care about is that you woke up" Ryan retorted "So ow long was I in a coma for?" "3 years and 5 months...I was so afraid you wouldn't wake up" Ryan looked down "Hey" Marissa said slowly reaching out to lift his eyes up to meet hers. "How could I stay asleep when I have you waiting" "I know ...I...just ...it was my fault and it had been so long" "Well I'm awake now and I'm not going anywhere. And it's not your fault. I sort of remember what happened but its a bit of a blur. But i know it was volchok. I'm sorry. He could have killed both of us. If only I hadn't got messed up with him then none of this would have happened. I know it probably painful to dredge up but can you...maybe tell me about the crash and what has happened since then?" Marissa took another sip of her water. "I'm sure A LOT has happened in nearly 3 and a half year?"

And so Ryan began telling Marissa about the everything that had happened and been happening for the last 3 years...

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"Well I'll start with the accident...How much do you know?" Ryan asked gently. "Umm I remember all the stuff before it. Like saying good-bye and giving Volchok that money to leave you alone and move on. Then you were taking me to the airport coz I was going to work with my Dad on the fishing boat. Then all I can remember is screaming then it all went blank" She finished. Just as Ryan was about to talk she interrupted and added "I also remember waking up in your arms and begging you not to leave me. I didn't want to die without you. I needed you there" Ryan looked down remembering how cold and lifeless she had felt in his arms when she fell asleep. How he thought she was dead and remembering the pain of his heart breaking. "Well Volchok had run us off the road and there was a cliff to the road below. When he ran us off the road, the car rolled down it and kept rolling a few more times on the other road. Then it went blank. When I woke up you wouldn't answer me. Then I saw the leaking gas so I smashed my window and got out to rush to your side of the car. But then I noticed the fire in the engine and knew I had to get you outta there before the car exploded" He couldn't look into her eyes. He was so nervous at admitting all his feelings and emotions and he was hurting. Remembering what had happened and how he thought he was losing her was too much to retell ...but he knew Marissa needed answers so he continued..."When we were a fair bit away from the car i layed you in my lap. I kept calling your name and then...then I saw all the blood" Ryan turned pale. Marissa noticed and grabbed his hand, squeezing it to give him strength to continue. "There was so much blood in your hair and I didn't know what to do. Then you woke up and I tried to go for help but...but you begged me not to go. I couldn't go...I couldn't leave you. I never will" Ryan realised what he said and looked up shyly...only to be greeted by a gorgeous smile. "Then you started shaking in my arms. I just begged you to hold on. But then you went even more pale and got really cold. I thought you had died then but I didn't want to beliee it so I checked your pulse and it was there. It was so faint but I knew I had to get you to the hospital so I picked you up in my arms and got back onto the main road. I started running. I was so scared and the more I an the more my legs started trying to give way but I kept running. Then I saw a car and ran out in front of it to get it to stop. I was so glad to see it. It turns out Summer had been crying so Seth decided to drive to the airport so they could see you off but they saved you, me...us" Seth drove us to the Emergency and I just kept telling you it was going to be okay and hold on. They took you into surgery and quickly checked me. Then all I could do was wait. I was passing up and down the waiting area outside your surgery and just hoping you'd be okay and saying how it was all my fault..." Marissa pulled his face up to get him to look at her. "Hey. It's not your fault okay. How could you ever think that? It was Volchok's fault not yours okay!?" "I know but if I had of stopped or ..." "NO! Volchok did this and I don't want you to ever think it's your fault. You did what you could and you saved me" Marissa stopped frowning and looked into Ryan's deep blue eyes. But in all seriousness she was blaming herself for everything...the blackmail, Volchok threatening Ryan and trying to ruin his life, the hurt and the accident. " Besides if anyone is to blame then it's me. It's my fault all of this happened. If I hadn't of gotten mixed up with Volchok then none of this would have happened" Marissa felt ashamed of the way she had acted and the way she had been when she was with Volchok and she was sad because she knew that all of Ryan's pain was caused by her. "It's not your fault either Riss. You're right it was Volchok not either of us" "But I got mixed up with him. I shouldn't have. I'm sorry" "No I'm sorry. I should have trusted you more when Johnny was alive and I should have been there after all of it but I pushed you away...right when you were at your lowest. You had nowhere else to go so you turned to Volchok. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you Riss...I should have been" "Look the stuff with Johnny was both of us and we both could have sorted it out better but whats happened has happened and now I just want to put that and all this stuff with Volchok behind me" "So do I...but..." Oh no there's a but. What could it be? Please be good. I can't take much more pain. Marissa thought.

Ryan saw her face turn a little pale and worried. He smiled knowing what she was thinking "...But I want to move on ...with you" "You mean...?" Marissa's face light up a little but was still cautious. "I mean I want you to be my girlfriend...After all of this I realised how much you mean to me and I don't want to leave you ever again. You mean to much to me Riss" Ryan finished shyly. Marissa always loved him when he called her by that nickname. She smiled. She was sp happy because she felt the exac same way. "I don't want you to ever let me go again and I don't want to leave ypou ever again either" "So is that a yes?" Ryan smiled knowing to well the answer "How could I ever say no?" Ryan grabbed both her hands in his and interlocked their fingers. He stared into her dazzling blue eyes. "I've missed seeing those" "Seeing what?" Marissa asked confused and then worried she had something on her face. "Your amazing blue eyes. For a while I didn't think I'd ever see them again" "Oh...well you have no idea how much I've missed seeing yours too. Or seeing anything but nightmares of the accident" Marissa added. "Well as much as I am afraid to let you go back to sleep, I think you need all the strength you can get with everyone coming tomorrow" "After for years of being a sleep...I'm really not that tired" "You sure. I'm not going anywhere so you can sleep if you want to" Ryan asked, tapping into his old "protective" mode. "The only thing I want right now is for you to come lie here with me and tell me what has been happening while I've been...away!" Marissa stated as she carefully moved her body over to one side of the bed. Ryan stood for a second contemplating if it was a good idea or not, but when he saw Marissa's face starting to get a little upset he couldn't not lay with her. Ryan carefully lay down next to her and Marissa instantly moved back into him. "You sure I'm not hurting you?" Ryan asked as he gently placed his arms around her. "No. It's just what I needed" She replied, although it did hurt a little having the pressure on her bruises but she relaxed and the pain eased away as Ryan held her to him. "So you wanna know what's been happening hey!? It's a lot. You sure you're ready for it all tonight" "I'm fine Ry. I've been asleep for 3 years...I NEED updating" She laughed.

"Well Do you want all the bad stuff first?" "I spose so. Then we can finish with all the good stuff" She replied. "Okay well after the accident you sustained a minor brain haemorrhaging, which they stopped and took out the excess blood while you were in surgery. You also had a fractured coller bones, neck, your right arm, left leg and 2 ribs (with 4 other ribs bruised). In the first few months they placed you in a sedated coma so that your body could heal so that after they stabalised your collerbone, put you in a neck-brace, plaster your right arm and pinned the crushed bones, in your left leg, together, they could make you still and put you in the right postion so that all the fractures would heal properly" Ryan finished in one breath. "So do I still have all the pins in my legs and stuff" Marissa asked as she tried to look over her body. "Well they took out the pins after 2 months once they were sure it had healed properly and the bones were welded together and strong enough. Your ribs healed on their own in that time also. As for the plasters, they were taken off after about 3 months. And as you know Dr Peterson just took off your neck brace tonight when he could get you to test the movement and pain in your neck" "Which feel like normal now. Thankfully" "There's more..." "More?" Marissa looked in shock. How many more injuries did she get? "Yeah. You also gained quiet a few cuts and bruises (like all car accidents) but the main cut was a bad gash on the right side of your head" Ryan grabbed Marissas fingers and softly put them to the crown of her head where the scar was. Marissa felt it wondering why there was still a bump there. "They had to shave off all your beautiful hair and put 7 stitches in place. They took out the stitches after a month and it healed well but the little bump you can feel is the scar. And obviously all your hair grew back as you can tell. After a few months they stopped the sedated coma but realise you were still in a natural coma and yeah you have been in it ever since. Everyone came every couple of days. Your mom and I visited everyday and Kaitlin came heaps too. Oh and if you look around..." Ryan watched her as she looked around her room. "You can see all the flowers and cards you got over your time here. Luke sent that little bear. And Anna sent this one" Ryan said pulling a medium sized teddy from the table and pulled the string coming out of its back. Anna's voice came out "Hey Marissa. It's Anna. Heard about the accident. Get better soon and I'll see you when you wake up. P.S. How cute is this little guy" Anna laughed. "Wow.What a cool bear...But we haven't talked to Anna or Luke in a long time?" "Oh well Seth and Summer saw her when they went for college orientation at Brown and they have keeped in contact since then and as for Luke. Well you remember how Seth went to live with him and his dad, in Portland, for a while when he ran away?" "How could I not? Summer wouldn't shut up about Seth running away" "Yeah well I kept in contact with him after we left. And you were in all the newspapers when it happened so everyone heard" Ryan explained. "There's stuff from everyone but most of the flowers are from Summer. I think she has like 5 for eeryday you were in your coma" He joked." Wow. There's so many things" Marissa stated as she looked around at all her flowers and get well soon clouds and teddy bears. "There were more flowers but they kept dying so we had to throw em out and Summer replaced them. Oh ...But there's one specal teddy you haven't seen yet" Ryan said as he slowly got up and went to the chair in the corner. "I brought this one along especially for when you woke up" Ryan stated as he handed Marissa her carebear. " Oh Ryan. Thank-you" Marissa gave a small giggle. "He has many memories" Ryan slowly eased back into his spot on the bed and they got comfortable again.

"There's only one more bad part Riss..." Marissa saw the hurt that had washed over Ryan's face. "What...what is it?" She was afraid to ask but had to know. Ryan clenched his jaw and paused. He had to wait before he could continue. Marissa knew whatever he had to say was hard for him so she waited until he was ready to start again. "When you were in the accident and they took you into surgery they came out and were telling us what injuries you had...well..."Ryan paused again. He was pushing his emotions to the side so he could tell her but they kept trying to push back. He shook his head to try and clear it. "well Marissa you were pregnant. Did you know?" Marissa was silent for a moment. She was in shock then realised what Ryan had asked. "I was what?" "Pregnant. I'm so sorry but the baby died. When we crashed they said pressure was put on the womb and you had a miscarriage. I'm so sorry Riss" "I knew my periods late but I...I just thought it was coz of all the drinking and the stress. oh my god" Marissa started to cry.Ryan held her tight and rubbed her back trying to soothe her. "Riss...the baby...the doctors told me how long you had been pregnant and I figured it out Riss. The baby was mine too" Ryan said letting a single tear rn down his cheek. "You mean it was our baby. Our child growing inside me." "I'm sorry" Ryan didn't know what to say and was trying to hold back his tears and be strong for her. "He killed our baby. No" Marissa continued to cry. She had cried for nearly 3 hours, wen her sobs started to slow down and quieten more and more. "Are...are we still okay?" Ryan asked nervous that she may have changed her mind about being with him. He didn't know if he could take it if she HAD changed her mind. "I mean...do you still wanna be with me?" "Of course" She replied wiping away her tears. "I love you Ryan and I want to be with you forever. Nothing will ever change that. It's just we had a baby ...together. Ours and he killed it...and i don't know if I want to be upset or angry. That baby would have made us happy ...I just know it" She finished looking away. "Hey. It's going to be okay! We can get through this together. Besides I want to have kids one day...and I want them to be yours...ours" "You do?" "Of course. I have walways wanted my own children and ever since I met you I knew I wanted them to be with you!" Marissa let a few tears run down her cheeks. But tis time they were happy tears. Ryan brushed them away with his thumb. How could he always make her feel so safe and so loved? "So do I" Marissa added. They lay there for a while just happy to be together. But it was starting to get to quiet and Marissa still wanted to know what else had happened while she had been in a coma...

"So what are all the good things that have happened?" Marissa asked breaking the comfortable silence. "Well I'll give you the shortened version of it all...Summer went to Brown for 2 years to do her Advanced Diploma in Fashion Design. Seth stayed propsed so she would go and he was going to after college anyway. Seth stayed in Newport and opened his own Comic Store, which has turned out to be a huge success and is a million dollar company now. He and Summer an\re living in their own luxurious apartment and have the wedding planned out. Just had to wait for you o wake up. Julie and Dr Roberts on the otherhand couldn't wait and Neil proposed and got married last year. They made a tape of it so you wouldn't have missed it totally. The only reason they didn't wait though is because your mom was taking your coma really hard and Neil thought it would cheer her up, which it did. They went to L.A for the honeymoon so they weren't far from you if you woke up.

Umm what else? Oh how could I forget Kirsten ended up being pregnant also and now Seth and I have a little 1 year old sister. Little Sophie Cohen. She's a very interesting kid. Everyone says I am her favourite person and I babysit her a lot, but I think she's more found of you. She always hugged you when we came and left the hospital and she drew a thousand pictures for you so we gave her her own wall for all her drawings to you" "Where are they?" Marissa asked "Look behind you. At the head of the bed" She turned around and saw the small wall covered with little scribbles on all different peices of paper. "Aww, that's so cute" She said returning back to her normal spot on the bed. "Yeah. She's an adorable child. Very much like Kirsten. You'll love her too. Everyone does" Ryan said with a big smile on his face. Marissa laghed when she looked at him. "You're very fond of her too so I can see" "Yeah. Never had a little sister and a proper family so it's been really good. And good practice for when I have my own kids too" He laughed.

"Umm your dad comes and visits when he can and is still on the fishing boat. Doing really well so I hear. Kaitlin is little miss socialite. Just like you were. She planned the kick-off carnival and those things last year and it was really good. Would have been better if you were there though. I couldn't go on the Ferris Wheel without you" Marissa gave him one of her gorgeous smiles. Ryan's heart melted. He loved her smile and those twinkling eyes. "Umm your sister hangs out with the Ward brothers...Brad and Eric all the time and her old boyfriend from boarding school came back to live in Newport an dthey have been going out all year. Fortunately with not too many dramas. Ummm Neil spoils her and Summer as usual but is pretty much the same Neil. Just married to your mom.And yeah I think that's about it!"

"What about you!?" Marissa asked enthusiastically. "What have you been up to? I hope you went to college and didn't stay here for me" "Well I knew you'd feel that way so I went to UC Berkley and did the Advanced Diploma in Architectual Technology. But I came home every weekend and spent i with you. Hoping you'd wake up" He replied sheepishly "But after my first year I was offered an internship at an architectual firm here in Newport but I hated worring for someone and trying to make my way up the ladder and all that, so I started my own business. We called it 'Atwood Architectual Co.' and it's been a huge success. And I've made quite a sum of money and helped so many people. We build for eeryone. The mansions in the gated communities, numbered housing complexes and the occassional odd job here and there. It's just been really hectic at the moment. We're working on building a hospital not far from here, mainly for the poorer families and we are incorporating a special children's ward there too. That's why I can only get here at nights or during my lunch hour. It's the only chance I can get to see you. Visiting hours finish at 6 'clock but the nurses don't mind and sometimes they'll let me sleep here.Kathy, one of the nurses, she's usually the one on at night and she's been really cool. She's really nice. I think you'll like her. She's become my favourite of all the staff here" Ryan gave a small smile thinking of how considerate and kind Kathy had been over the 3 years. " I was thinking about hiring her as my receptionist" He added.

Marissa had been laying there listening intently on Ryan's life and everything else that had happened. "Wow. That's great Ry. Congratulations" "Thanks" "And everything else that has been happening...wow!...I can't wait to see everyone and meet ...Sophie is it?" "Yeah" "She sounds adorable" Marissa added. Ryan noticed her expressions change from amazment to surprise to excitement and now to sadness. "Hey, you okay?" Ryan asked getting concerned. "Yeahhh" Marissa replied still in thought. She was rubbing her stomach slowly. Then Ryan knew what was upsetting her. "It's just ...the baby" Marissa added "Just talking about Sophie sort of reminds me of it..." She said looking down at her flat stomach. "I know when I first heard about Kirsten being pregnant it was so hard coz I wanted to be happy but I sad about ours. And when she was born it was even harder. I even...cried when I got home. It hurt so much" Ryan looked at the wall not being able to look at Marissa. "But after a while it got easier and I got to love her. She's an amazing little girl...and I guess I just kept telling myself that...Never mind" "No, what were you going to say Ry" Marissa urged. After hearing here call him that he knew she wouldn't freak at what he wanted to say. "Well i just kept telling myself that when you woke up and were ready we would have our own one day" Marissa let a single tear escape. She had never heard anything more sweet. "Did I say something wrong?" Ryan asked noticing the tear run down her cheek. "No. It was perfect. I have wanted that for a while...with you" She wiped away tear "But I think we should just wait til I am all better and then we'll see" Ryan laughed as her smile grew into a enormous grin. "Well I'm going to be here for you all the way. I love you and I am never letting you out of my sight ever again" Ryan told her as he pulled her closer to him and held her tight. Marissa felt so warm and safe being tere in her arms and she never wanted that to change. "Neither will I!" Ryan lent down and gently kissed Marissa. Careful not to hurt her. But she lent up and deepened the kiss. Filling it with all the love and passion and hurt of not being able to do this (only dreaming about it thousands of times). When Ryan felt her do this returned the kiss with the same amount of love and passion she had just given. He had dreamt about doing this a billion times but knowing he couldn't while she was still asleep. It was agony not being able to kiss her, hold her or be with her over the past 3 years. And now that she was awake, he had no intention on ever stopping his affections and love for her.

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They spent the rest of the night in each others arms.Ryan being careful not to put any pressure on her body or hurt her. He knew she was still fragile and still hurting. She has a lot to recover from and there was no way he was going to jeopradise anything now. So they lay there, Ryan was telling her about all the stuff she had missed and Marissa telling him all the dreams and things she had thought of while she was asleep. They talked about everything... all the things they wanted and how they felt for each other, what their dreams where now Marissa was awake and just about anything else they could possibly think to talk about. They fell asleep in each others arms, lying on the bed talking and cuddling each other tightly. Neither wanting to let the other go!