Tryst
Part Four: Raidou
The cold of the surroundings could be felt even through the thick, black cape he wore over his uniform. The scent of blood and rust and steam and smoke all over the place. It didn't bother him the least. Raidou knew this scent well. It was the scent of murder, death most foul.
Death had different scents too after all. A peaceful death was the scent of newly upturned earth, incense and dead flowers thrown in with the coffin. The scent of murder was of blood and malice.
He knew this scent. He'd been familiar with it.
And the scent of death clung onto Narumi, overlapping the scent of familiar cologne and cigarette and sweat.
The scent of death did not suit this man. He'd never wanted him to wear it if it could be avoided.
"Raidou…" The voice was pained but soft and gentle.
It beckoned for him to come closer. He looked up and away from his thoughts. He didn't voice those thoughts out loud. He didn't have to because he knew the man knew what he was thinking. It was strange, that after so many lifetimes, they both still knew.
Somehow…
Raidou carefully walked toward the man leaning heavily against the metal railings for support. His steps echoed loudly about him. He was sure the demons knew where they were but he doubted they would dare come.
He'd burn them as soon as they come and they knew it.
So the demons dared not come.
He stood before the man, wanting to reach out and touch the wounded hand and heal it. But he didn't. And the man sighed and placed his bleeding hand to his forehead. The blood flowed from the wound down his face.
Raidou had seen this before… A long time ago.
Blood was the proof of life, flesh was mortality. Only the soul would be left to live again, another life.
They both started and would end the same way. Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust.
"Narumi-san…" He whispered.
The man looked up at him with a small frown. Displeased. Raidou sighed inwardly. He had wanted to see that man, to know he was safe and alive. And Narumi has said he wanted to see him.
"What are you doing here, Raidou? Hadn't I told you to wait back at the agency?!" He snapped.
Gouto scoffed at the words. Raidou looked at him, evenly. His face, falling back into a calm mask. It was a habit. It was just how it was. He suppressed his emotions but despite that, his chest felt tight at the words. The words hadn't stung him. It made him angry and relieved at the same time.
He knew what Narumi was planning from the note and the scent and what had happened. He knew.
"You're not planning on returning." Raidou said, dead-pan and cold.
It was a simple statement of facts. It hurt him to say it because it was the truth.
"He plans to die." Gouto's words echoed into his mind. And he understood.
He saw the man struggling with himself, for what to say to convince him to go. But Raidou will not go no matter what. He wanted the man to live. Couldn't the man see what he's trying to do?
Narumi sighed. "Raidou, I can't have you get involved in this…." He began. "I can't let them hurt you!"
Raidou closed his eyes. He understood how that felt. He'd done it before after all. Paying whatever it was in his power to give just so he would—
"—Live. Please, Kuzu no Ha-sama…"
The Family had gathered about him. The elders and his human family. The mists had crawled into the room through the open doors making everything blurry and slightly colder than it really was. He lay in the middle of the room, surrounded by the family priests as they waited for the Herald to come while sustaining him as his life seemed to ebb away.
He knew this would happen. He had expected it when he gave his Hoshi no Tama to the Herald as payment. His life is fading away.
"Kuzu no Ha-sama…"
He turned his head to look though he could not clearly see the faces of those that surrounded him. He just knew them through their sent and the warmth (no matter how little it was) that they gave off.
"Kuzu no Ha-sama, why did you…?"
He smiled, weakly at the name. Soon, he wouldn't even remember he had once been called that. Time was growing sort.
"Just because." He replied, simply.
He didn't need to elaborate and no one asked him to clarify. It just simply was. He would've laughed if he could. But he couldn't. It was so right and so strange, this feeling. It was almost a drug, an addiction. Like Opium. What poisonous draught it was. How absolutely terrifying and exhilarating at the same time.
"But you might die…" Someone reasoned.
"I will not die." He replied, closing his eyes. He felt his vision fading. The cold gripped him tighter and tighter in its grasp. He would sleep soon.
He would—
"—finish this. You young ones are supposed to worry about what comes after…"
Raidou would've laugh at the words coming out from the man's mouth if only it wasn't serious. The man was walking straight into the arms of the gods of death if not stopped. The man would die.
Then where would all he sacrificed for be?
"You're not planning on returning." Raidou said once again.
Narumi sighed, heavily. Raidou watched him. All around them, the machines continued to hum and the smoke and the steam continued to rise up and the stench of grime and oil and rust and blood hung about them.
The scent of the Gods of Death.
But they dared not come here. He'd stall them for as long as he can if he could, even if he knew one day the man would die again.
"Are you going to make me wait again…?" he whispered.
He hadn't meant to say those words. But the man heard him and he saw the hurt in the man's eyes. Those words hurt more, perhaps.
Have all their sacrifices been in vain?
"You cannot stop it." Narumi said.
Those were true words.
"I will die one day."
Those were true words. For the man was mortal… And he… He was not quite mortal.
"I've tasted death before." The man continued. "Dying a second time wouldn't be so bad…"
He wanted to snap and shout and yell at those words. But found that he could not. Or maybe he didn't want to. It hurt.
Was dying so easy?
"Are you in such a hurry to die?"
"No." He replied. "But if it would keep you safe then I would gladly go."
"I am not fragile." He scoffed.
He had lived for thousands of years already. Surely that would merit something. He was not fragile, even then a long time ago when he was what he used to be. He was a fox after all.
"I never said you were." The man grinned.
"I cannot allow you to—"
—die. It was happening. The man was dying.
He sighed as he tried to gather up what he could with what was left of his strength. The elders and the rest of the family stood up in surprise and tried to stop him. But he was burning and blazing, cocooned by his fox fire. The flame was hot for nothing burned brighter and hotter than that. But despite all that, he was cold.
So very cold.
The old fire that burned in him was disappearing.
His darling was dying and the fox fire in him was disappearing.
"No! Stop!"
But he could not stop. No matter what they did. He would sleep soon and then forget about that man. He wanted to at least see him.
Fox fire burned about him but did not hurt anyone. It prevented anyone from coming closer. And he was so cold.
So very cold.
The fox fire was destroying the wards that sustained him and lifted him from where he lay. It would certainly damage him and may hurt this young body but when what would the use be if he could not see the man he had waited so long to meet.
"I'm sorry…" He apologized.
In a sudden burst, before anyone could react, he—
—Frowned. The only thing he could manage, at the words.
The smile on the man's face was calm and reassuring. How many lives would he give up just for this man's smile? To keep him safe and happy? To be by his side?
He opened his mouth to say something but no words came out. This was not the place for those words. And he knew the man was going to say something but stopped because the man knew this was not the place for such things.
There was no place in this desolate, underground world for those words.
No way to convey them.
The humming of the machines continued to echo across the earthen walls. The moans and groans of faraway demons reaching his ears and they dared not—
—Come to this burning hell. He witnessed it, the killing but unable to do anything. For his darling will die tonight if help would not come.
The man was caught and stabbed from behind by a demon's blade. He could not turn away from the sight of the falling man. Blood spilled crimson onto the floor and the walls.
Red, red blood of a mortal man…
He wanted to weep but he could not. Even if this was only a temporary loss. Even if…
Even if…
"Darling…" He whispered, softly as he approached.
The fire dared not harm him and they kept way from him as if afraid of a white fox. Each step he took he felt colder and colder. The man seemed to come to himself and reached out. The light was fading from his eyes. But the smile never left his lips.
He knelt beside the man, hands working to lay him on his lap. The mortal man was dying, life fading away. He'd seen this before. It was not the first time he had seen his beloved die. He had seen him die so many times already in so many different lifetimes…
And each time, he wished it was not so…
How long? He asked himself as he brushed a lock of black hair away from the man's face. How long before it drives me mad?
Madness was nothing new to him although he had never been insane; he just knew it was possible. Gods and their messengers go mad too. It was only the matter of time before they snap. He wondered how many more he can take before his sanity finally slips.
Is madness bliss?
"Darling…" he whispered. No, he would not risk it. He had to be there for this man. He vowed he would wait in their meeting place. His sanity and his heart intact…
He would wait in Shinoda…
"Good evening, little fox…" The man, greeted, smiling painfully. He held the man closer to him as if this would help keep his life in. "I was just… thinking that I… wanted to see… you…"
The light in those human eyes faded, disappeared and then closed. How many times must he watch this man die?
The fire blazed around them. A fox boy and a dead man left alone in the building. Left alone to mourn.
And he wept silent tears as he held onto the man. He would breathe life into the man if possible but he was only a fox, a god messenger. He could do nothing. He silently mourned. Where was the help he had hoped for?
"Why do you mourn, little fox?" A familiar voice asked.
He turned his tear-stained face to the Herald. The red flames turned blue and suddenly were gone. Cold mist surrounded them, reminding him for a moment of the shrine and he knew they were not where they used to be.
"Please… I've given you the payment… my memories, all that I am, for you to keep to save this man's life."
He had never voiced this wish in all those other lifetimes they were together. He didn't know why he asked it now. The Herald smiled, knowing and knelt beside him to give him a kiss on his forehead to comfort him. If only it really would comfort him.
"Don't worry little fox…" She whispered, gently. "The Gods look upon you with favor…. They will not forsake you."
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. The gods will not abandon them. They will never abandon them.
He turned to the fallen man and whispered very gently as if he would hear: "I will wait for you… In Shinoda… I will—"
—Hold his hand. Raidou looked up at the man's face. The hand was rough and calloused but strangely warm and comforting. He had thought of it before. How can this man's hands warm him so? He was not made of fire yet…
Blood dripped onto his white skin. Narumi looked apologetically at him and was that regret? If so, what for? Blood is the proof of life… That he was alive. Torn and a little battered but they should still be alright, right?
"It's alright…" Narumi reassured, gently. "I'll live."
Raidou had never held his hands before. And now that he has, he felt strength in them. Even as Narumi let his hand go, his hand had warmed him inside and out. He no longer felt cold.
Narumi turned away and ascended the steps to where battle waited. Gouto followed close behind. Raidou had always watched the man's back. Always walked a step behind and followed him. People would laugh at him at how he did yet he could not stop himself from doing so.
Even if sometimes, looking at the man's back felt like another goodbye…
"Narumi-san."
Narumi slowly turned to him. He wanted to say something, anything just so this would not be another goodbye. Human flesh may crumble and mortals die.
If only…
If only…
"I will not die little fox." Narumi said, smiling.
Raidou didn't understand what was said at first for he only heard the voice.
"I will not die…" He said again.
Raidou's eyes went wide in surprise because it was then that he understood. Mortals live and die but…
"Not whilst you live."
Tryst
Part Four End