Hello Dahlings i'm back for a while! ;-)

my last chapter got some good and some bad reviews... and i said i was trying to go for a new tone... but i wasn't really sure what to do for this next chapter/oneshot. So this is totally an improvised chapter with no plot and i'm just going to keep whatever i'm writing and post it... but please don't be too harsh!

about discontinuing doubted:divided... it's only temporary and i'm trying to figure out what to do with it. to do that i might have to delete a couple of the chapters (sorry)

anyway i'm back to my home (fanfiction) and i missed u guys a lot!

hugs always,

mysterys

So this is what it comes to?

I had always heard the elders grumbling to themselves about their lost loves and saying that love was awful and all of that stuff... but I never believed it.

I was brought up by my parents having love described as the most miraculous thing in the world. Well, that's how it was for them. They were the most accepted and made-for-eachother couples; Brackenfur and Sorreltail. You're probably sighing as you hear this, for their relationship was the picture of love, the picture of bliss, the picture of infatuation.

For me it was not so; for me their unfortunate pretty little daisy-faced daughter it was not so.

They were average nothing more, nothing less.

Sorreltail was a brown tabby, doughy face, average amber eyes, but a nice disposition.

Brackenfur had a golden brown coat, attractive, but not spectacular.

So how did they produce a daughter so perfect-looking as me?

Okay, that sentence might have overdone it. Now you think me totally conceited and un-modest when in truth I'm not. I've just had to come to face the truth. I am beautiful and my beauty is what ruined my life.

My friends growing up as a Thunderclanner admired and my best-friend Hollypaw used to say that she wished she could be as beautiful as me. I used to bathe in this glory, lavishing and blossoming to be the most attractive she-cat in the four clans.

My mentor Spiderleg doted on me, and fell for my quick seduction. But he needn't be flattered; I flirted with everybody.

By the time I became a warrior I had the entirety of the tom-population wrapped around my tail. I loved it. I loved my life. I loved everyone. Everyone loved me. Life couldn't be more perfect.

And then Hollystorm moved into the nursery expecting kits. The male in question was Birchfall; one who I had thought admired me. I had mooned over him for moons. And now he was Holly's.

I was jealous.

I, the image of she-cat's daydreams. I, the most perfect beauty in the forest. I, who was loved by everybody.

This was a challenge, as I looked at it.

Hollystorm was happy, and I knew that I should be happy for her, but I wasn't.

She was pretty, I guess. But who would pick her over me? Birchfall. Birchfall, who was only the most eligible, attractive and wanted tom in Thunderclan. I had to find out why he would choose her over me. So I went into the nursery and watched them one day, pretending to be coddling Squirrelflights's new kittens (second litter).

Birchfall was head over heels for her. That was obvious enough. His jaw was nestled deep in her rough pelt, and she giggled at everything he said. Against myself I had to admit that they were adorable together. He, gorgeous. She, plain. They equaled each-other out.

For one brief moment I thought about giving up the challenge, but then decided I should know. When I thought again about the fact that they equaled eachother out. If this would true, I would have to be with someone very plain to equal out my relationship. But I wouldn't accept that. No, I couldn't let that happen to my ego. I had to live up to everyone's expectations.

A day later, Birchfall left on a hunting patrol. I heard him purr to Hollystorm before he left, "I promise to get you the plumpest rabbit in the forest." Then he licked her on the head and left.

I smiled and pranced out into the forest after him. I stopped briefly at the lake to admire my reflection and lick a couple burrs out of my gorgeous (if I may say so myself) pelt. Then I was ready; fully ready to turn on the seduction to the fullest and flirt with my best friend's mate.

Birchfall leapt gracefully from his hiding spot to pounce upon a temptingly plump rabbit. He had kept his promise to Hollystorm; the rabbit really did look delicious. On the spur of the moment I leapt in front of him to ensure that he didn't catch the rabbit. At the same times while he was recovering, I sliced my side on a rock nearby just so that a few drops of blood oozed out.

Instead, he landed awkwardly right on top of him (at least awkwardly for him). He shook out his beautiful pelt and said, "Damn you, I almost had that."

I gave him the kitten-eyes and said, "Oh, I'm sorry Birchfall..." I looked distractedly (seriously, I'm a fabulous actor) down at the cut. Birchfall followed my eyes and saw the cut. He hissed in his breath and said, "Oh, I'm so sorry, did I do that when I landed on you?"

I nodded distractedly and tried futily to reach down with my tongue. Inwardly smirking, my tongue wouldn't reach. The cut was on my neck.

Birchfall said, "Let me help you, and reached kindly in with his pink tongue. What a sweetie... why couldn't I have gotten him? He was so nice; had the best heart, so giving, so kind. He would probably throw himself in between a Twoleg and the oldest elder in the forest. As he licked me gently and kindly, I knew that he was doing this out of kindness and guilt, not affection. But his tongue felt good and I purred despite myself.

And then I heard a hurt yelp behind us.

We turned around to see a pregnant Hollystorm looking hurt and shocked, "Birchfall! How could you?"

She dashed back towards camp without an explanation.

My plan had worked (insert 'muahaha' here)

But I wasn't happy.

I looked at the expression on Birchfall's face. He didn't do anything for a moment, only back slowly away from me. Then his eyes flickered down to a rock on the ground where there was blood, my golden fur and a pawprint from when I had pushed it into my neck.

Glaring, Birchfall ran after his mate without another word, spraying mud up at me as he left.

Two Moons Later-

Hollystorm's kits were born. I went in to congratulate her, and one of her kits bounded up to me and licked my front leg. Birchfall was curled around Hollystorm. I hadn't talked to him since two moons ago... Apparently Hollystorm had heard the story and forgiven her mate.

Who wouldn't?

She didn't say anything to me, and I knew I had lost my best friend. It hadn't been worth it.

Hollystorm scolded the kit that had come over to me, "Don't, Flamekit. She's dangerous."

The little kitten stared up at me with scared green eyes and walked back to his mother.

Now that I looked at her again, I realized that Hollystorm was beautiful.

'Nough said?

Hugs, mysterys

ps- please review!!! I'll review you back unless ur story is fifty-bazillion pages long.

;-)