Me: Sorry for not updating in a while, I've been sick and then there was the three days of school stuff I had to catch up on and then I had to have Thanksgiving and now I'm back. So there.
TenTen: Damn, you made my hair ties come out...'bends down to pick them up'
Neji: 'get nosebleed' Uhh...TenTen-chan...
TenTen: What? 'looks down' HOLY SHIT!!!!!!! 'blushes like Hinata and faints'
Emily: God damn, I thought she'd never notice...'laughs like a dying hyena'
TenTen: 'wakes up' F--K YOU!!!
Chapter Twenty Eight
"FOR THE LAST TIME, NO, YOU CANNOT "GO ON MISSIONS AND OWN MAJOR ASS"!!! THAT IS FINAL!!!"
"BUT--"
"WE'VE BEEN THROUGH THIS, EMILY!!!"
"F--K IT!! ONE LITTLE MISSION WON'T HURT THEM--"
"YES IT WILL!!!! AND IF YOU DON'T THINK I WON'T USE FORCE TO RESTRAIN YOU, THINK AGAIN YOU PREGNANT WHORE!!!!"
"PREGNANT WHORE?!! OH, IT'S ON NOW, YOU BREAST-IMPLANTED OLD BITCH!!!!!!!"
Emily and Tsunade were staring daggers at each other, leaning over the desk and getting ready to stab each other with a steak knife and feed the remains to TonTon.
"Emi-tenshi, remember, there are children present..." Sasuke pointed at Emily's stomach and then at Kenisha.
"I AM NOT A KID, YOU F--KIN' SELFISH EMO KING!!!!!"
"SELFISH EMO KING???!!! AT LEAST I HAVE A REASON TO BE, UNLIKE YOU, WHO HAS HER CLAN MASSACRED BY AN OLD MAN IN TIGHTS!!!!"
"AT LEAST I FOUGHT BACK!!! YOU RAN OFF LIKE A STUPID LITTLE FIVE YEAR OLD!!!!"
"I WAS FIVE!!!"
"NO YOU WEREN'T, YOU WERE SEVEN!! DAMN, GET IT STRAIGHT!!!!"
"WOULD YOU ALL JUST SHUT THE F--K UP!!!!!!!!!" Shizune and Genma had burst into the room when the yelling Konoha ninja were busy trying to blow each other's ears up. "Please...we're trying to sleep. And if you don't shut up, I'm going to ask Ibiki to play with you for a while. And when he owes someone, he makes sure the job is done." The group shivered at the thought.
"Alright. T-thank you Shizune, for reminding us that the ANBU can torture us to the point of insanity. So that leaves you three." Tsunade pointed at Emily, Sasuke and Kenisha.
"Emily and Sasuke take a maternity leave for the next 10 months. Kenisha, you and Team Gai will be taking all of their missions." Kenisha gaped at her.
"Okay, I'll try to express my anger without cussing you out or killing you. 'deep breath' WHAT?????!!!!!!! I MEAN, I LOVE FIGHTING AND KICKING ASS, BUT EVERY MISSION?! I'LL BE DEAD BY THE TIME EMILY HAS HER TWINS!!!"
Tsunade placed a finger in her ear and twisted it around. "Oww..."
"BUT--"
"Leave my office."
"BUT BAA-CHAN--"
"Ap! Leave the office."
"BUT I CAN'T--"
"AP!! LEAVE MY GOD DAMN OFFICE, NOW!!!"
"F--king old breast-implanted bitch making us take on all their missions..." Kenisha kicked a rock around as she walked back to her home she shared with Lee. He was waiting for her, leaning on the side of the front door, smiling.
"So, how did your audience with Tsunade go?" Kenisha shook her head.
"To answer you simply: Horrible. Emily and Sasuke are taking maternity leave and have us and TenTen and Neji stuck with all their missions. I knew she'd have something set up for me, but to have you three included...Wait!! Now I know why!!"
Lee gave her a quizzical expression and raised an eyebrow.
"SHE'S MAD BECAUSE I'VE BEEN CALLING HER BAA-CHAN ALL THE TIME, AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW HER THAT WELL!!!! I've gotta go and straighten things out...But how?" As Kenisha mulled it over, Lee lead her into the house and helped her with her jacket.
He almost had dinner ready when she stopped thinking. "I'VE GOT IT!!! I NEED TO TALK TO HER FACE-TO-FACE!!"
Lee looked at the clock and back at her. "At 10:00 pm?" Kenisha laughed nervously and rubbed her head.
"Ahh...no. Maybe tomorrow morning then. If she hasn't got a mission set up for us by then..." Kenisha got up and helped Lee with dinner, considering that he was burning it.
"What is that in the pan," Kenisha asked, pointing at the black thing in the pan. It was smoking.
"It was supposed to be a hot dog, but I was too busy listening to you talking...and..." Lee looked down at the small stick in the pan. Kenisha sighed.
"That's okay. We'll eat out tonight, that's all." She put the stick in the trash and put the pan in the sink. She'd wash it later. Lee smiled.
"So you are not mad?" Kenisha smiled too, putting her jacket back on.
"Of course not!! I'm actually to the point of laughing out loud!!! You were supposed to be the good cook!" Lee laughed and she laughed too.
They were about to exit the house when Kenisha noticed Lee wasn't wearing a jacket. "Where's the jacket I bought you?"
Lee shrugged. "Uhhh...your fanboys might've come to the house yesterday..."
Kenisha gaped. "SINCE WHEN DID I HAVE FANBOYS?!! I THOUGHT THAT THAT AREA WAS RESTRICTED TO INO, HINATA, SAKURA, AND EMILY, NOT COUNTING TENTEN BECAUSE SHE TRIED TO KILL HER'S!!! SINCE WHEN DID I HAVE ANY?!!"
"Since you arrived, Kenisha-chan. And maybe...maybe since you wore that dress to get me to date you?" The color drained from Kenisha's face.
"I KNEW IT!!! I JUST KNEW IT!!! THAT DRESS HAD A V-CUT!!! AND IT WAS SHORT!!! I HAD MY HAIR DOWN!!! AND WORST OF ALL, I HAD TO WEAR MAKE-UP!!!! THAT SICK POWDER AND LIPSTICK THAT COULD KILL SOMEONE IF THEY INGESTED IT!!!! I KNEW IT!!!!!"
"SHUT THE HELL UP YOU STUPID KIDS," their neighbor screamed as she turned on her porch light. She walked out of her house and Kenisha and Lee cringed. She had little plastic curlers in her hair. "Just leave already and stop yelling!! I mean it!!" The irritated neighbor went back into her house and shut off her porch light, slamming the door behind her.
"Holy shit...what a bitch," Lee said under his breath.
"You said it," Kenisha replied, taking his arm as they walked away from their house and their apparently bitchy neighbor.
After eating at the Curry Shop
Kenisha got a call on her cell. Her ringtone was "Make it Rain." She picked it up. It was TenTen.
"...WER'E WHAT?!! YAY!!...Are we taking them?...YAY!!!!...SEE YA THEN!!!!" Kenisha hung up and gave Lee a wide toothy smile.
"WE'RE GOING BABY SHOPPING TOMMOROW!!!"
Tomorrow morning
"WE'RE HERE!!!!"
"YAY!!!"
TenTen and Kenisha hugged at the front door while Lee and Neji shook hands like men.(Me: Are they men? TenTen: I guess so...)
"HEY, THE PARTY'S OVER HERE," Emily yelled from the couch, pointing at her ever growing stomach.
"Yes, E-chan, we know. So, we're going shopping with you and Sasuke, right?"
"I'm helping them pay for everything too," Neji said,"It isn't like they can't afford it, but I've heard that Emily "over buys". And TenTen-chan does the same thing." He turned to Kenisha. "I haven't heard any about you. Do you over shop?"
Kenisha shook her head. "Of course not." She had her fingers crossed from inside her overlong sleeves.
"Then let's go," Sasuke said, grabbing his and Emily's coats and leading the group out the door.
At the mall
"Okay, we're gonna split up and meet back at the McDonalds restaurant for lunch. Understand?"
"GOT IT, BOSS!!!"
"I told you to stop calling me that..."
"I DON'T CARE!!!"
"Fine...let's go." Sasuke, Emily, Katie, and Yamamoto went to the west part of the mall and Neji, TenTen, Lee, and Kenisha went to the east part of the mall.
With Sasuke's Group
"LOOK, I FOUND SOME REALLY CUTE--"
"Emi-tenshi, is it really necessary to yell throughout the store?"
"YES, BECAUSE I'M PREGNANT AND HAVE A RIGHT TO BECAUSE OF SAID CONDITION!!! SO LOOK AT THESE WITH ME!!"
Sasuke sighed and followed Emily into the Children's Place store, which was full of older pregnant women and thier husbands, who looked like they'd rather be home watching two other men kill each other than walk around a mall. Sasuke felt their pain.
"Emily-chan, you were right; these are cute!!" Katie was holding up tiny baby-sized kimonos, one blue and one light red. The blue one had little rain drops embroidered on it and the red one had little balls of flame on it. Sasuke turned away from them.
"I don't do kimonos..."
"YOU CAN AND YOU WILL!!!! NOW GO PAY FOR THESE!!" Emily scared the other preganant women out of their spots in line and went up to the front, pulling Sasuke with her. Katie and Yamamoto were stuck apoligizing to everyone they saw and explaining to them that these actions were temporary. The people didn't believe them.
As they walked out of the store, Katie sighed.
"This is the first of many..."
"My jaw is already aching..." Yamamoto agreed, and they both trailed after the flame-using couple.
With Neji's Group
"FOR THE LAST TIME TENTEN-CHAN, THAT IS NOT FOR YOU!!!!"
"BUT NEJI-KUN!!!!!" TenTen gave him the puppy eyes and pointed at the large butcher knife on display in one of the kitchenware stores across from them. Neji sighed and TenTen squealed.
"YAY!!!" TenTen and Kenisha ran into the store like starving lions.
When Lee gave him a quizzical look, Neji said, "She's a good cook. She needs more supplies." Lee nodded and they followed the girls out of the store and into a clothing store, more notably Macy's.
"YOSH!!! WE'RE GONN--Wait, did I just say "Yosh!"?"
TenTen nodded. "Yeah, you did. Do't tell me you're turning into--"
"I CAN'T BE!!! NOT YOUR SENSEI!!! PLEASE--"
A lady walking past them shushed her.
"Know what lady? SHUT UP AND MIND YOUR BUSINESS," TenTen yelled after her, who ran into the nearby JCPenny with her 5 year old. "Damn lady, trying to tell you to shut up..." TenTen said, dragging Kenisha away from the entrance of JCPenny, who was trying to kill that lady that told her to shut up.
The continued into Macy's and browsed through the clothing section reserved for babies. "I don't want to be here...its so stupid..." Neji growled as he moved out of the way of a mom and her two rowdy kids. "That women right there doesn't even need another baby..."
"Well yeah. It's not like she can help herself either. Most families don't know when to stop because they want a lot of kids," TenTen said, sneaking a hand into Neji's. Then Neji thought for a minunte. "And neither does Emily. Her kids were made by accident." He heard a rustling behind him and saw that TenTen was looking at baby booties(Emily: The ones that go on your feet. Me: THEY KNOW!!!) so he decided to let it slide. But what he didn't know was that that was a clone.
"Tell me something I don't know," Kenisha said as she brushed her hand over the clothes on the rack beside her.
"Kenisha," she heard someone hiss from the rack. Kenisha leaned into the rack and ran into two chocolate buns. 'Holy shit, they even smell like chocolate!!!,' she thought and continued to sniff them. People outside her little world were staring at her incredoulously, wondering what in the world she could be doing sniffing at clothes like that.
"Would you stop smelling my buns and get in here!" TenTen pulled Kenisha into the rack and people outside the rack thought that she had wanted to smell more and got inside but tripped and fell.
"Your buns smell like chocolate...why do they smell like chocolate? I haven't heard of a shampoo like--"
"SHUT UP ABOUT THE BUNS!!! Anyway, I stole Neji's Visa, so where to first?" Kenisha's eyes got a big and watery. TenTen knew what was next.
"WE'RE GOING TO GAMESTOP AND BUYING THAT WII I ALWAYS WANTED!!!"
"TO GAMESTOP!!"
The two hyper kunoichi ran out of the rack and out of Macy's before neji and Lee knew they were gone. Mainly because to them they weren't gone, thanks to shadow clones.
With Sasuke's Group
"HOLY SHIT, WAS THAT KENISHA AND TENTEN?! WHERE THE HELL ARE THEY GOING WHEN THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE SHARING THIS TORTURE-I MEAN, SHOPPING FOR BABY STUFF?!!"
"Sasuke, you aren't making a good cover. I'd suggest you run, but then you'd have a pissed off fire mistress chasing after you and disturbing the peace. You might as well get them before she gets you," Yamamoto said and pushed him out of Aeropostle and then Sasuke ran after the two crazy kunoichi with Neji's loaded Visa chack card.
"IF YOU TWO DON'T STOP I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!"
"NEVER!!"
"KENISHA-CHAN, IF YOU DO NOT STOP, I AM NOT GOING TO GIVE YOU CURRY ANYMORE!!!"
Kenisha nearly stopped but TenTen pulled her along.
"I CAN MAKE CURRY ON MY OWN, SO KEEP RUNNING," she yelled in Kenisha's face as they rounded the corner to Hot Topic.
"TENTEN-CHAN, IF YOU DON'T STOP, YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO WATCH ANY ACTION MOVIES FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. I'LL MAKE SURE OF IT!!!"
TenTen turned her head only to see Neji's Byakugan staring through her(Emily: Or at her, if you catch my drift... TenTen: EMILY!!!!)
"I didn't want to have to do this, but it's the only way: WATER STYLE: GREAT ICE WATERFALL!!"
"HOLY SHIT!!!!!" A giant cascade of ice-caked water fell upon the two males ninja. It drove them farther away from the girls and closer to Sasuke and Emily, who were running not too far behind.
"WHAT THE F--K IS THIS??!!! KENISHA-CHAN!!!!" Emily jumped over the water got out a summoning scroll. She bit her thumb and dragged a line through the black lettering. A puff of smoke erupted around her and she was on top of...a surfboard?
"E-CHAN, WHAT THE HELL?!"
"THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO GET YOU IN STYLE, KE-CHAN!! AND THIS IS IT," Emily proclaimed as she did 180.
"KNOW WHAT? SCREW IT!! I'M GONNA STOP YOU USING AS MUCH FORCE AS NECESSARY WITHOUT KILLING YOU OR YOUR KIDS!!! METAL TYPHOON!!" TenTen got out her gynormous scroll and threw a bunch of shuriken into the waterfall and made it spin. The new sharp and spiky water typoon went toward Emily and Sasuke, who was still running on the ground.
"HOLY SHIT!!!!" It swept them away and slammed them into Claire's and a lot of irritated 12 year olds.
Lee didn't know where he was until he got up and hit a black lacy bra. 'Holy shit...am I really in...?' He looked up and realized in horror that Kenisha had swept him into Victoria's Secret.
'Ah damn...'
"Hey sir, you'll have to pay for that before you get in it," said a lady in uniform walking by, smiling. "Who's the girl you're getting it for?"
'Damn, this lady is nosy...' Lee thought, but kept his expression as friendly as possible."I actually got hit with a water jutsu from my girlfriend and got swept here by accident. May I ask where the way out is?" The lady pointed to somewhere far off in the large store.
"Over there, I suspect. Have a nice day." She walked away and flashed another smile at Lee before turning the corner. When Lee got up in front of a mirror to fix his shirt, which he assumed was just unbuttoned, he gasped. It was ripped off of him, only tiny fabrics clinging to his toned chest and washboard abs.
"Damn it, I liked this shirt," he cursed as he turned around in the mirror to see how much damage was done. His back was fine, just a thin scratch where he slammed into the rack. The rest of him was okay too, except his dignity. A bunch of other women were staring very animatedly at his abs and muscled chest. 'Kenisha-chan is going to kill me...'
(Me: Yes, in this fanfiction, Lee-kun has fangirls. TenTen: Not even when I knew him, did he ever have fangirls. Sasuke and Neji: It's only cuz he's not available and he has a toned body that every stupid bitch goes after... Me and TenTen: I guess so...)
"OH MY GOD, HE'S ACTUALLY HERE!!!"
"LEE-KUN, I LOVE YOUR BODY!!!"
"Pour chocolate sauce and call me your ice-cream cone..." Lee's eyebrow twitched at the comment.
"YOU BITCHES ARE CRAZY," Lee screamed as he ran away from the hormone-stricken girls, which followed like a pack of wild hyenas after a rat. "HELP ME, GOD!!!!"
"AH YEAH!!! I'M GONNA BE PLAYING MY WII UNTIL I GO BLIND!!!!
"YEAH!! WHO KNEW THAT GETTING A GAME BASED ON OURSELVES COULD BE SO MUCH FUN?!" Kenisha and TenTen walked out of the mall with a bunch of bags piled on their backs.
"Damn, that was fun, TenTen-nee-chan. We should do this more often," Kenisha said, hoisting another ag on her shoulders and getting into a runner's stance.
"Come on, let's go home before the others find--"
"Before we find what, TenTen-chan?" TenTen and Kenisha turned around anime style and faced the angry and wet face of Neji.
"Uh-uh, hi Neji-kun...fancy seeing you here...hehehe...RUN!!!"
"I CAN'T!!!! THIS STUFF IS WEIGHING ME DOWN," Kenisha whined, trying to run with their belongings but only wiggling under the weight.
"THEN GIVE ME SOME, HURRY!!!" Kenisha tossed some of the baggage to TenTen and then they both ran away from the mall, throwing shuriken and kunai at Neji as they went.
Lee was at his house, his door locked and boarded up from the inside and his blinds and curtains throughout his house closed. Lee, being the man that he is, was hiding underneath his bed with a flashlight and a bag of Cheetos. 'Now I know how Sasuke and Neji feel...'
Me: Longest filler EVER!!!
Emily: You didn't need to make it this long, you know...
Me: Not the point!!
Katie: Then, what exactly, is the point?
Me: The point is I updated, so NYAAH!!!
Neji and TenTen: Please Review!!