II

"Out Of The Window See Her Backdrop Sillouette"

The next morning, Tonks woke up feeling like she had fallen onto a pile of bricks. She tried to gather the events of the previous evening, frowning slightly – Remus rejecting her, going to her room a tad bit too early and falling asleep. Hermione had brought her a cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows, which she had drank. She had then proceeded to fall asleep for about eleven hours, giving the excuse that she was feeling a bit tired. Now, under the grey morning light, Tonks was starting to ponder how false the information she had been giving everybody was. Not that she was a compulsive liar (though she was a good one, after all, she could change her looks at will!), but she had been hiding quite a bit of truths.

In fact, she had been telling everybody the reason she was staying at 12, Grimmauld Place was because she was house hunting as her housemates were "noisy" and "messy" – nothing more false, as she herself wasn't exactly a peace and quiet type of person. The only reason was to spy on Remus, to run into him every evening before dinner or order meetings.

You are a damned bad spy, you couldn't figure out that your mancandy was sleeping with Sirius – no wonder you almost failed Stealth and Tracking!, Tonks thought to herself, supporting her head on her hands. Getting out of bed to get dressed (and tripping over in the process), she kept thinking. If she had realized that like most people probably would have, she wouldn't have made a fool of herself in front of the Order, as certainly Remus would tell their colleagues. Even worse, he would tell Sirius who would promptly crack a joke about her "maturity".

It had been something Sirius had been doing ever since she could remember. While for a good part of her life, he had been in Azkaban; when she was about 7 years old and he was a young adult, they met each other a few times – and every time Sirius would tease her for trying to be "like the grown ups".

Now, over a decade later, Sirius still found it amusing to comment on Tonks' lack of chest volume and her age, or her clumsiness (saying she was as co-ordinated as a toddler) much to her dismay. In her good days, Nymphadora would just playfully punch him back or make an equally cruel joke about him; on her bad days she wanted to quit the order for being so underestimated, although she'd rather be Crucio-d than admit that.

"Well, if people think they can still treat me like I'm a child, they're sorely mistaken!" Tonks growled, trying to heat up the hot chocolate, but making a golden burst hit (and break) the cup and knock over a pile of books. "Damn it!" She swore, trying to clean up the mess. Immediately, she resumed her rant. "If they think I'm Ginny Weasley—"

Ginny's red hair came to mind once again, and the pink-haired girl couldn't help but wonder how soft it was. If only she could touch it… without noticing it, she made her hair turn a cross between her usual pink and Ginny's red colour, just a voice demanded, "What do I have to do with anything?"

Startled, Tonks looked towards the door. Ginny was standing there, and the thought of hair made Tonks blush.

"It was… an example." She explained. "What are you doing here?"

A sad look seemed to flash across Ginny's face as she sat down on Tonks' bed. "Hmm. Okay. Well… I heard something break as I was walking down the hall and I decided to check on you… to see if you were, hum, okay. Y'know…"

"Right." Tonks nodded, smiling. "I'm fine, I just accidentally broke this cup."

Ginny rolled her eyes playfully, "Well it's not like that's totally unexpected of you." Then, upon noticing Tonks weak smile, she asked, "Is there something wrong?"

Besides the fact that everybody treats me like I am you… and you still manage to date guys' at Hogwarts, everything's just perfect. Tonks thought, before shaking her head and tried to push away any further Ginny's hair-related thoughts out her mind, which only made her blush once again. However, this did not seem to fool Ginny, who frowned and stared into Tonks' blue eyes.

"You're not convincing me in the least, y'know." Ginny pushed the subject further, almost as if trying to figure something out.

And in fact, she was. She would rather die than admit she had been thinking about Tonks a bit. In the beginning, she would just ask herself questions about things, such as, "What would Tonks wear?", "Which flavor of Bertie Botts Beans would Tonks prefer?" or "How would Tonks behave at this party?". Nothing too big, and Ginny would smile secretively to herself everytime someone complimented her outfit or behavior modeled after the questions, or compare her to Tonks – as she half-hoped Tonks would (not) realize this.

However, this quickly evolved into her not paying the slightest attention to the conversations at the dinner table of 12, Grimmauld Place just to stare at Tonks. Ginny felt like this girl was somehow perfect – her witty humour, her smile, her music tastes. This now went beyond just admiring her attitude and became something else. Ginny was no longer pondering what colour would her Hair Hazzard Highlights have to be to match her (hopefully) Tonks-like attitude, or what Weird Sisters song she should quote just to seem witty and popular. No, now it was more about how shiny Tonks' hair was, and how beautiful her eyes were, or how pure Tonks' skin seemed to be. Ginny wanted desesperately to touch Tonks, and more than once at the dinner table she had accidentally reached out – only to pretend she was reaching for another slice of bread or the pepper shaker.

Of course, she had tried to shrug it all off. According to Young Witches Magazine, those feelings were absolutely normal at her age, but it did not mean they were permanent. And of course, Ginny didn't want to be mistaken and possibly teased over something she wasn't even sure she was. But the feelings for Tonks were there. Ginny not only admired her, but now found every imaginable excuse to be with Tonks and talk to her. Lately, she would even often dream about being with Tonks in a way that made her blush as it was well beyond "just talking".

Wondering if Hermione or Cho or any of the girls ever felt the same way for another girl, Ginny couldn't help but be confused. She was starting to lose sleep over this, and would often sit by herself trying to – carefully – gather books to read, which was not exactly easy as the Black – and even the Weasley - family didn't seem to be very much into that type of thing.

Now, she had been walking down the hall after having sat for hours in front of the fire in the library, just thinking about Tonks and feeling her lips on hers, when she heard a noise from her dear and beloved's bedroom and had rushed in.

And of course, there she was, trying to figure out what was wrong with Tonks. Much like herself, all symptoms pointed towards "love problems", but she knew the young Auror would rather stab her own eye with her wand than admit it.

"So…" Ginny repeated, "You're not convincing me in the least that you are well."

Tonks looked down onto her lap. "I'm fine, honestly." How would she say something like this to Ginny? Or to anybody else for that matter? That the ever-cheerful Tonks had her bad moments. Nobody would ever expect her to fall in love with anyone at all, much like Lupin's reaction had proved. The only thing Tonks wanted she wouldn't get it no matter how much she changed her looks or tried not trip over things: she just wanted to find true love, cliché as that could sound. To be able to stay in one of the cozy rooms of 12, Grimmauld Place, drinking lemon tea and watching the rain with a special someone – that was all Tonks wanted. However, much like the previous day, when she tried to picture herself in a mode where she was to have feelings, all she could see was Ginny's red-hair. Deciding that it was probably a hidden hope of seeing Lupin with red hair, Tonks tried to focus on the werewolf. On someone AT ALL who was not a younger girl who probably didn't even think about girls in that way and was her best friend in the Order's HQ. Looking away, she said, "Okay. I admit it, maybe I'm a little heartbroken."

This hit Ginny full on in the face like cold water. "Wh-what? Who is he? Is this why you were so upset?"

"Well. Last night I went to talk to Lupin, because I have had a crush on him since, like, forever. Now, I did so much for Lupin. I moved into this house so I could see him, I spent hours trying to look just right. But, honestly, my observational skills must suck because Lupin told me he's dating Sirius. Of course, Lupin got me pretty much crushed over the whole Sirius situation. And now… now all I can picture is… okay, so then… I get this… idea that people pretty much think of me as "just a friend"; as this kid who never will grow up."

"…And that's why you mentioned my name?" Ginny bit her lip hard trying not to cry. The fact that Tonks saw her as a little kid and was into Remus hurt a bit too much. "Because I'll always be the kid, right?"

Before Tonks could explain herself, Ginny shrugged, "Well. I'm going now, I have to go shower before the twins wake up and take over the bathroom for their pranks experiments."

Without another word, the Weasley girl left a baffled Tonks behind, whose mind unsuccessfully tried to ward off any thoughts involving Ginny's disappointment and any possible attractions.