AN: Thankyou to everyone for the lovely, encouraging and often amusing reviews. love you all! XD sorry this chapter took so long, i'm working on another fic, as well as uni and stuff blah blah...ANYway...i've started on the next chapter...enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, if I did...I'd get a refund and ask for ITACHI! XD

Side Effects

"HEY LADY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO SHIKAMARU?"

Shikamaru heard Naruto's yell dimly through the sound of blood pounding in his ears and his lungs screaming for oxygen. He tried to move, but found himself apparently paralysed, limbs frozen in place, his limp hands incapable of twitching, let alone forming seals.

Crap, what the hell kind of paralysing jutsu is this? Not good.

The shadow-user opened his eyes, but to no avail. All he could see was a flesh-coloured blur inches away from his own face. He was still unable to breathe and began to panic as black spots started appearing in his vision.

He needed a plan.

Ok, think, think! What was happening before I was paralyzed? Naruto was acting out his Rasengan attack, Lee was pretending to crash into the next table, then everything started to go black – ok fine, I started to fall asleep – and then I heard some chick's voice saying something about a hot guy and then –

Another, less panicked part of the lazy nin's brain interrupted with a snort.

Paralyzing jutsu? More like KISSING JUTSU…

Shikamaru's eyes flew open as air suddenly rushed back into his lungs with a gasp. Feeling started to come back into his body while the world spun dizzily around him. He felt stunned and disorientated, trying to make sense of what had happened, trying to remember that last thing his brain had yelled out before he had regained the ability to breathe.

Suddenly a painful throbbing in his lips immediately drew his attention to his mouth; cautiously, the pony-tailed ninja brought a hand up to touch them tentatively, his fingers coming away sticky with…

BLOOD?

Er…no, not blood.

Not blood at all.

Blood was not pink.

Nor was it gooey and shiny, and sprinkled with silver reflective particles. And Shikamaru was fairly sure he had never come across pink, gooey, shiny, glitter-filled blood that also smelled like strawberry flavouring.

A giggle shattered his concentration.

Startled, his head whipped up, bringing him face to face with a girl, whose lips were heavily smeared with the same pink, gooey, shiny, glittery stuff currently on his fingers.

And on his lips.

The girl smiled wickedly, tossing her long black braid over one shoulder as she eyed the gaping jounin.

"Seems like you liked my lip gloss, sexy. It's called Cherry Madness, and I hear it tastes even better the second time 'round."

Shikamaru boggled at her, brain on hold for the first time in his life, unwilling to make the connection between the momentary paralysis, the throbbing in his gloss-coated lips and the girl's words.

A stray question drifted through his chaotic thoughts. Did she call me SEXY?

Even when the girl took hold of the collar of his vest and pulled his face close to hers, purring, "Shall we then?" the stunned jounin found himself unable to think, speak or move as the girl's lips, in slow motion, lowered towards his own.

The intended ravaging of the shadow-user's lips was abruptly halted by a hoarse scream from the other side of the room that again caused all heads to swivel in that direction.

"DAI KAMAITACHI NO JUTSU!"

All eyes, Shikamaru's and the girl's included, were now glued on a certain blonde desert lily of the Hidden Sand Village, well known for her beauty and dangerous relatives, but most of all, for the damage which she could wreak using her over-sized fan combined with the words she had just screamed.

Customers and Ichiraku staff alike were openly looking for a place to run from the slicing wind jutsu which could decimate forests, when everyone simultaneously realized that there were no breezes stirring apart from the air-con, and the desert lily herself was standing frozen in front of her table, a very peculiar expression on her face.

Cheeks darkening to a beetroot hue, Temari stabbed a finger savagely at the black-haired girl who was still grasping Shikamaru's collar.

"YOU! Are DAMN lucky I left my fan at home!"

She mumbled the last few words and dropped back into her seat, hiding her flaming face behind a menu.

After this confusing moment, everyone was about to emerge from under their tables, when Ino, snapping out of her daze, leapt to her feet.

"I don't need a fan for this!" Ino shouted, arms outstretched, fingers poised in the shape of her family's mind-switching jutsu.

"I'm gonna make that little tramp jump in the river," the blonde muttered. "Ninpou: Shintenshin no jutsu!"

Stirred by the sight of the ominously familiar seals, Shikamaru's brain jolted back into gear.

This is quite possibly the most troublesome situation not related to a mission I have ever had…apart from escaping from my jounin promotion celebration when they tried to shave me…and Ino's about to make things a lot more troublesome…

Knowing how the jutsu worked and the approximate time elapsed between the release of chakra and the possession of the opponent's mind, the lazy jounin made a snap decision.

I don't need a fan for this move, or even seals. No chakra or energy expenditure required, therefore perfect.

Wrapping his arms around the surprised girl still gripping his collar, the lazy jounin simply swivelled 90 degrees right then fell back onto the bench, pulling the girl down on top of him, thereby avoiding Ino's jutsu, which, as he knew, could only travel in a straight line.

Thereby leaving him lying flat on a bench with a strange girl on top of him, clasped in his arms, fingers digging into his vest and shiny pink lips pressed firmly against his.

And here we are again, said his brain sarcastically, Bravo, I thought you were actually trying to prevent this happening again?

He could feel a dangerous aura approaching, no, two. Oh crap…

Abruptly, his lips were released and the warm weight on top of him disappeared, accompanied by a squeal of pain and outrage.

The as yet un-named girl twisted around to face the owners of the hands clutching her long black braid, by which she had been unceremoniously yanked from her position on top of the pony-tailed jounin

She looked about sixteen or seventeen years old, wearing a tight khaki tank top coupled with a black split miniskirt and mesh leggings, which showed off her generous curves. Her forehead protector was loosely knotted around her neck, much like Hinata's. On her face was an expression that could have made Akamaru on soldier pills scuttle back into his kennel.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"HEY! That's OUR line!" The owners of the hands released her hair abruptly, then stood side by side, two pairs of blue eyes blazing.

"Ok, start talking and this better be good," Ino started, hands on hips, leaning forward menacingly, "Who the hell are you and WHY were you kissing my team mate?"

The girl's black eyes narrowed. She seemed about to make a snappy response, when the look on Temari's face changed her mind.

"My name is Okada Mizuki."

There was a silence as the blondes racked their brains for any previous knowledge of this female before them. Nothing came up. They turned their attention back to the girl.

"And?" Temari growled, "You haven't answered the other question. WHY did you kiss him?"

Mizuki's lips curved into a wicked smirk; her black eyes sparkled with mischief.

"It was for a dare," she said.

"A DARE?"

The three girls turned to see Shizune and Kurenai approaching from the table, leaving Hinata and Sakura still sitting, waiting for the outcome of the confrontation.

Lee and Naruto meanwhile were bombarding their lazy comrade with questions and offers of a stiff drink.

Temari folded her arms beneath her generous bust and eyed the girl disbelievingly. Ino raised an eyebrow, hands on hips.

"I don't believe it," the pony-tailed blonde said.

"I agree," said Kurenai, "What kind of dare could possibly result in you kissing Shikamaru-kun in the middle of Ichiraku Ramen?"

"What kind of dare was it?" asked Ino, "A dare to get a reaction out of him without using violence or jutsus?"

"Yeah," said Temari, "Or maybe a dare to snog the first guy you saw with a ponytail?"

"None of those," Mizuki grinned, "My friends dared me to walk into this restaurant and –"

A new voice interrupted her from behind, continuing her sentence.

"And kiss the hottest, sexiest, most droolworthy guy in the place."

Shikamaru was not the only one in the restaurant who nearly fell off his seat.

AN: Who said THAT? Seriously, even I don't know yet. XD Sorry about all these people magically popping up all over the place. Btw, howmany years older thanKonohamaru is Naruto? 3? 4? Anyone who can guess why I'm asking that gets a character named after them...