Author's Note: This chapter is a long time in coming…sorry for the ridiculously long delay. Thankyou so much for all the encouraging reviews, I can safely say that it was the reviews that forced me to finish this chapter. Enjoy!

Post-Operative Counselling 102

Sakura stared at him in utter bewilderment, her brain melting for the third time that afternoon.

"You…what?"

He slid down a little further in his chair, tilting his head back to gaze lazily up at her through his spectacles.

"I didn't know."

A fiery blush rose to her cheeks as the implications began to dawn on her.

"You mean, you let that girl get your shirt off and practically molest you, and you thought it was me?"

Shikamaru rolled his eyes.

"Why is it always the guy who ends up being the pervert?" he groaned. "Are you implying that I let that girl get her hands on me because I thought it was you or something?" He snorted. "Come on, I'm not dumb enough to think that you'd want to get your hands on someone like me, Sakura."

Had she only imagined the trace of bitterness in those words?

"Then what do you mean, you didn't know? It certainly seemed like you'd figured it out before Shizune-sempai and I came into the room!"

"I had figured it out."

Even sitting in the dark cinema of her mind, Sakura could clearly sense her powerful urge had been to rip out handfuls of her own pink locks in frustration.

"But you just said you didn't know –"

He sighed and pushed up his glasses, rubbing at the bridge of his nose.

"Yare, yare, do women always have to take everything you say and use it against you? How troublesome. I meant I didn't know it was Mizuki from the first damn second she walked in the door."

The pink-haired medic's smooth brow furrowed deeply.

"Then, when did you, I mean, how did you…?"

The shadow user groaned. "The first clue, my dear Watson, came when the girl referred to the Hokage as Tsunade-sama, when I know that you actually have come to refer to her as Tsunade-shishou or Tsunade-sensei."

Green eyes widened.

"The second clue came when I noticed that she was trying to unbuckle my belt, something that you probably wouldn't do when healing a patient…I think," Shikamaru deadpanned, smirking up at her.

Sakura snorted. "Is that all?"

"That and…" the light from the window momentarily reflected off his glasses again, hiding his gaze from her, "Her hair was the wrong smell."

Just hearing him say that again made Sakura blush bright red and squirm in her seat. 'How the heck did he know what our hair smelled like?' is, I believe what you were thinking, Inner Sakura said, leering at her through a mouthful of popcorn.

Why are you making me watch this again? Sakura asked her alter-ego, who merely smirked and made a shushing gesture.

There was silence in the office for a minute. The pony-tailed jounin seemed to have lost interest in the conversation and was gazing at the clock over the doorway. Suddenly the slender shoulders of the Hokage's apprentice slumped, fractionally, but enough to catch Shikamaru's attention.

"What?"

Her voice was very matter-of-fact when she answered, her green eyes fixed on the polished wood surface of his desk, half obscured though it was beneath piles of paperwork.

"So you were just saying that then; like, you didn't really mean it."

"Didn't really mean what?"

He tried to find her gaze, but it was hidden beneath her bubblegum pink locks.

"You know; what you were saying about me being skilled with chakra, as good as Tsunade-sensei, how I'm a generous and warm-hearted person, blah blah."

Sakura hadn't been looking at Shikamaru as she spoke, so all she had sensed was his sudden movement, and a note of consternation in his voice.

"Sakura, I don't say things I don't mean –"

But she gave a light laugh and waved her hand dismissively.

"Don't worry about it Shikamaru, really. Heh, it made a good story in front of Shizune and Mizuki. That was good thinking, really." She began to back towards the door, "Well, look at the time, I'm sure you must be really busy with all that paperwork. I've got to get to the clinic myself, so maybe I'll see you round sometime."

As she shut the door after her and hurried down the hallway, the memory of the perplexed look on the face of Konoha's top strategist stayed frozen in her mind.

Actually, Inner Sakura had just pressed 'pause'. She then switched off the video and turned her dark gaze on her outer counterpart, who was sitting in her stormy purple chair, with what looked suspiciously like a pout on her pretty pink lips.

Well?

The pink-haired medic avoided her gaze. Well what? I walked out of there because I was busy, really busy…and because I found out that that pony-tailed slob said all those sweet, insightful things about me without meaning a damn word of it. Jerk.

A grin spread over her alter-ego's black face: a grin to make Anko green with envy.

See? Since when do you care about what Nara Shikamaru thinks of you?

Haruno Sakura looked herself squarely in the eyes.

So you're saying I like him? As in, like like him?

I thought that much was obvious. So what are you going to do about it?

She sat there, thinking.

What am I going to do about it? Well, I guess I could...

Without warning, a sharp stab of pain shot through Sakura's head. In a split second, Inner Sakura, the movie screen and the purple darkness had vanished, to be replaced by a pair of familiar blue eyes gazing down at her.

"Ino-pig! What did you just do to me?"

Her blonde friend raised an eyebrow. "I just flicked that big shiny forehead of yours, Sakura, it couldn't have hurt that much."

A soft voice piped up from behind Ino.

"Sakura, I have some of my herbal ointment, you could put that on to soothe it if you like."

Sakura's scowl softened as Hinata stepped forward, timidly offering the small container, which she seemed to carry everywhere with her.

"Thanks Hinata, but don't worry about it, I'm fine. Why don't you guys join me?" The pink-haired medic slid around in the booth to make room for her two friends to sit down.

"So, big forehead," Ino planted an elbow on the table and looked her friend straight in the eyes, "What were you thinking about so hard, sitting here all alone, even though," she glanced at her watch, "it's way past your coffee break time?" her eyes flicked to the medic's cappuccino, "and you don't seem to have touched your cappuccino, which is now," her finger brushed against the mug, "as I suspected – cold!" She leaned forward even further, a wicked expression on her face. "Must have been something pretty important, eh?"

"Nothing much, just some cases at the clinic this morning had me confused," Sakura said casually, fighting to hold her friend's piercing gaze.

Ever since Ino had started Morino Ibiki's community night classes in interrogation, she had gotten harder and harder to lie to. Not that it was easy to fool someone you had known since childhood, but in this case it was worth a try. Admitting to having a secret crush on your best friend's current lust interest was never good for health. Especially when said best friend was also getting As in Mitarashi Anko's free night classes in torture and assassination.

The blonde girl's eyes narrowed fractionally. "Oh really? Are you sure that's what it was?"

Sakura gulped.

Ino opened her mouth to speak again, only to be interrupted by a soft gasp from Hinata, who had been sitting, apparently listening intently with her head tilted to one side, a look of horror growing on her soft features.

Ino raised an eyebrow and reached across the table, tapping the Hyuuga's shoulder.

"Hinata? Hinata? You ok?"

Hinata raised a finger to her lips and made a quick gesture of her hand, motioning towards the booth beside theirs.

After exchanging glances, Ino and Sakura slid over to the pale girl's side of the seat, pressing their ears to the wall of the booth.

"-great aren't they? Really clear pictures. Good work Akiko," said a high, girlish voice, only slightly muffled by the thin wall separating the two alcoves.

"Thanks. But don't you think cameras in his office are a little tame? Why don't we infiltrate his house?" another feminine voice spoke, a little higher and girlier than the first, with a perverted edge to it.

A third female voice snorted. "When ANBU have already planted their cameras in his bathroom? They'd take it as a challenge to their territory, and I don't know about you, but I'm not in a hurry to be tortured and interrogated."

The second voice sighed. "Yeah, I guess so. Now that you mention it, isn't it weird about that torture and interrogation trend that's so big lately. I wonder what's causing it?"

"Oh, you mean you haven't heard about Morino and Mitarashi-senpai's night classes?" asked the third voice, "Mitarashi-senpai is amazing; last night we learned how to reduce an enemy to madness with a fork and two Chinese opera CDs."

"Wow," said the second voice, clearly impressed.

Ino stared at Sakura and Hinata, eyes wide. "No way! I think that's the girl who sat behind me in class last night!" she hissed, "And Hinata, why the hell are we listening to-"

She broke off as the first voice interrupted the other two, sounding annoyed.

"Excuse me, but I think we're getting just a little off topic. Remember what we're here for, please."

The second voice gave a dreamy sigh. "How could I forget something like that? How could I forget someone like him?"

"So this time, we're going to catch him for sure? Everyone else has been mobilized right?" said the third voice.

The first voice spoke as if she were smirking, which, as Hinata, Sakura and Ino were unable to see her face, she might well have been.

"That's right. No more subtlety. This is an all out attack. The rest of the club has been strategically placed in small groups throughout the village. No matter where he might go, he can't hide. Nara Shikamaru," a wicked giggle sent shivers down the spines of the eavesdroppers, "as of today, your ass is ours!"

"And his glasses!" said the second voice perkily.

"I'd be happy with the ass," mumbled the third voice.

"Oh yeah? Well, I don't mind if you get that, just as long as I get the –"

Before that sentence could come to its almost certainly shocking and salacious conclusion, Sakura tore herself away from the wall, stunned. After a moment, her vision focused and she took in the sight of an equally stunned, blushing Hinata, and a red-faced Ino, who was flexing her fingers in an ominous manner.

"Why those sleazy little-" she began, blue eyes blazing.

"Sh!" Hinata clapped a hand over the blonde's mouth, "They're leaving now!"

In a flash, Sakura had cast a genjutsu over their booth, making it appear to be unoccupied as the three girls from the adjoining booth walked past them and out the door of the café.

The pearly-eyed girl removed her hand from Ino's mouth. Ino scowled at her.

"Why didn't you pull your hand away when I licked it?"

The dark-haired girl giggled and wiped her palm off on a napkin. "Ino, I do have a loud, headstrong younger sister after all. The things I've put up with…"

Sakura waved her hand, releasing the genjutsu and catching her friends' attention at the same time.

"Uh guys? Did you miss that? Shikamaru is going to be molested by a hungry horde, and it's going to happen today!"

Hinata twisted the napkin nervously between her hands. Ino slammed her fist down on the table.

"We've got to help him! I know Shikamaru; that lazy bum is no match for a fan club. He still hasn't got his hairbands back from Moegi for crying out loud. A whole army of girls like that'll slaughter him."

"Anou, maybe we should go to Hokage-sama for help?" suggested Hinata timidly, "After all, ANBU is under her control, they could hold off a group of fangirls surely. Maybe they could even give Shikamaru-san a 24 hour guard?"

Sakura shook her head. "No good. From what they said about those hidden cameras, the ANBU will be in on it too."

"And let's face it, Konoha isn't that big a village, he can't hide from a bunch of crazed fans forever." Ino shook her head, frowning.

"Maybe he could leave the village? Go on a long D-rank mission in Wind Country or something," Hinata thought out loud, "No wait, Temari-san lives in Wind Country; no good."

"We have to find Shikamaru and warn him about this ambush somehow," Ino decided, "He's the genius right? He can figure out something."

The blonde kunoichi chuckled. "Maybe he could figure out a way to make himself ugly again or something. That'd do it."

Sakura jumped.

That's it!

"Ino! You're brilliant!"

"You forgot to add beautiful, but I'll accept it anyway," said the mind-swapping Yamanaka. "Why am I brilliant again?"

But the green eyed medic was already on her feet and heading for the door.

"Sakura! Where are you going?"

The pink-haired medic paused at the threshold, and shot a look of fiery determination back at her friends.

"To save Shikamaru."

She turned away and stood for a moment, fists clenched. She turned back and threw a sheepish glance over her shoulder

"Um, can you guys come too?"

AN: Oh, the suspense! What could sakura be planning? Er, yeah, I know the fangirls haven't been exactly subtle before this, but really, how subtle can fangirls be? Should be able to expect the next update to come a lot sooner than this one did! Hope you enjoyed this chapter, it was a real killer to get out, not sure how well it's turned out…what did you think? Look forward to seeing Naruto and Sasuke in Chapter 10