Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.
Ichigo woke up and threw up, in that order. He was nearly done dry-heaving when he realized he was face-down on the sideways buildings of his inner world. Spitting and wiping his mouth with his black sleeve, Ichigo climbed unsteadily to his feet. What had happened?
There was no sign of Zangetsu; the sky above was filled with billowing black clouds and the occasional lightning bolt. He hadn't been fighting, had he? He couldn't remember...and where was his nameless double, come to think about -
Memory pounded into his skull like a hammer: Ichigo fell to his knees and clutched at his head. If he was here...then that meant that it was out there. Oh no. Oh no. Anything but that! There was no knowing what it would do...to his sisters, to his father, to Rukia...
He got to his feet once again, horror boiling inside of him. What had he done?
"Zangetsu!"
No sooner had the cry issued from his mouth than the old man was there, cloak whipping in the wind.
"Ichigo."
Ichigo turned wretched eyes to the spirit of his zanpakutou. "Zangetsu, how do I get back? Tell me, what do I have to do?"
It had been twenty minutes. The not-Ichigo had taken to wriggling as the ice around it melted and ran; Rukia sat, tense and quiet, trying to ignore the hollow's repeated taunts and come-ons. She'd tuned it out at first, instead reviewing in her head all the kidou chants and spells she had ever learned. No time like the present to buff up on the kidou skills...and Rukia had a feeling she would be using many of them quite soon. However, she couldn't help but pay attention to its ranting, and try as she might, it succeeded in distracting her quite a bit.
"Come closer, Rukia," it said, its voice wicked and beckoning. "I'm at your mercy, Rukia...don't you want to take advantage of that? Think of the possibilities, Rukia...Rukia, come closer. I know what you'd like to do to Ichigo's body...and here it is, right in front of you...I won't bite, promise, at least not hard. It'll feel so good, Rukia, girl, woman, Rukia you know you want me. You could close your eyes and pretend it's him; it'll feel like him, you know it...come closer, Rukia, I want to taste you, dominate you, fuck you blue... "
"Shut up," She snapped, and immediately rebuked herself for responding to it.
The not-Ichigo gave her a cunning look. "Make me. I know that once I've got you tied up, I'll have a gag for you...oh yes," it grinned at Rukia's look of revulsion, "I can't kill you, Rukia, but I've decided to keep you. You should feel special that we want you that badly."
Oh hell, oh Ichigo, why is this happening? Rukia willed the panic and nausea in her throat to go down, and she forced herself to look away from eerily familiar face of the hollow, who sat smirking in a self-satisfied manner. It did not stay quiet for long, however.
"Rukia, Rukia, cold as ice," the not-Ichigo sing-songed, and Rukia twitched a little as its voice broke her concentration. "Rukia, Rukia, I'd fuck you in a trice," Rukia's cheeks burned. "Rukia, Rukia, queen of the snow..." It noticed her gaze on it and grinned lecherously, "won't you let me go?"
It finished the little song, then wrenched its arm out of the ice in one swift movement. It stared at it, flexing its fingers - so like Ichigo's, but no, don't think of that, Rukia - then turned to her with a triumphant grin.
"Soooon, Ruuukiaaa," it called. "And then I'll have you, silly shinigami. In fact -" it bent forward, and the ice around the reverse-Zangetsu on its back cracked and splintered; the tip came free. The not-Ichigo's face lit up; it reached back to clasp the zanpakutou's handle. "In fact, Rukia, I just can't wait any longer to have you." An insane smile began to spread across its face; Rukia surged to her feet, drawing Sode no Shirayuki, but not fast enough.
"Bankai!" It called, and the ice splintered and exploded, flying outwards, forcing Rukia to dodge behind the tree for shelter. When she emerged again, at the ready, the not-Ichigo was nowhere to be seen.
Rukia stood amidst the wreckage of melting ice shards, Sode no Shirayuki in guard position, kidou glowing in her other hand, wondering if she could bind it enough to allow Ichigo to re-emerge, and if that was even possible.
"Ruuukiaaa..." The voice echoed around her, and her stomach tightened in a knot.
"Not this again! You coward, come out where I can see you!" Rukia swallowed, trying to get the lump of fear out of her throat.
"Oh alright," the hollow blurred into existence about ten feet in front of her, a mocking grin on its face. "Anything for you, Rukia. After all, once I've caught you it'll always be you saying that to me; I think I can indulge you for a little while." It bowed, making a sweeping gesture with the bone-white Zangetsu. "Care to dance?"
And then he was in front of her, zanpakutou swinging wildly; Rukia barely was able to block it, and the blades connected with a jarring clash as it hissed in delight, hot breath on her face.
"Bastard," Rukia gritted out, then, in a complicated movement, began to step away from the not-Ichigo, swatting him in the side of the head as she did so, and then leaping free as Zangetsu bore down into empty space.
"Sai!" She shouted, hoping against hope, and the unfinished kidou spell activated; the not-Ichigo stumbled, and binding kidous flew from Rukia's lips like a torrent.
"Way of Binding Number One: Sai!" The not-Ichigo's arms leapt together behind his back, restrained by the characteristic lock. Rukia, well aware that Ichigo had broken that particular kidou before even becoming a shinigami, continued to chant rapidly. "Way of Binding Number Four: Crawling Rope! Way of Binding Number Sixty-One: Six Rods Light Prison!"
The rope snaked its way around the white form; yellow rods of light slammed into its midsection. The look on its face was sullen, affronted, mad, angry...it held its mouth in the same unhappy lines that Ichigo did, summoning a surge of peculiar feeling in Rukia's chest, causing her heart to ache even as she panted for breath.
"I see how it is," it said, and the ropes of kidou crackled and sparked as he tried to move, the speed of bankai foiled by the spells. "You just don't want me to have any fun. You and Ichigo both. No wonder he hasn't had you yet!" It laughed, bitterly.
"Fun doesn't have to be animalistic killing or rutting," Rukia said, blushing at her own words, though she kept her voice even and imperious. "Ichigo's a far nobler soul than you, you base thing." She put all the scorn she could muster into the pronouncement of the word.
The hollow laughed mirthlessly. "Noble, you say? He's anything but. You think he's so great, with his rushing to the rescue and innocent eyes and good intentions. Ha! He's pathetic. He only gets stronger when he's shit-scared and has screwed up so badly it's almost unfixable. He's totally motivated by some idiotic sense of duty, to the point that he would abandon friends he's had since time out of mind to go chasing off after some girl he just met, and nearly get two of his newer friends killed in the process."
"I'm not listening to your bile, hollow," Rukia said, feeding reiatsu into the kidou bonds and wishing she knew a spell that could produce a gag.
"You should," it sneered in its mangled voice. "You can't imagine what he wants to do with you. You listen to me and tell me your precious Ichigo is a saint!"
Rukia held up her finger angrily. "You may look like Ichigo, but I will hurt you if you lie about him, especially in that way. After all, I just have to keep you alive and relatively intact."
The hollow gave her a dark look. "In the first one, you're fighting hollows together, and afterwards he takes you up against the side of a building. Your hands held above your head by his, your legs around his waist, and when he's not kissing you you're moaning his na-"
"B-byakurai!" Rukia commanded, her face a fierce red, pointing her finger at the hollow; a small amount of lighting sizzled from the tip to hit it in the shoulder, between the shifting kidou ropes.
The hollow hissed, a sharp intake of breath at the sudden pain, but didn't stop. "He's also got one from when you were still sleeping in his cupboard. You've been having bad dreams, so you crawl in beside him, and he wakes up and you're on top of him...this is where his imagination really kicks in, cause you've got this great husky voice and you confess your love for him and how much you want him, and you beg him to – aahh!"
Rukia returned her hand to her side, where it curled into a fist; she was shaking from anger, trying desperately to calm herself down.
"And then there's the one with the ropes," it hissed venomously, mouth drawn in a horrible smile. "Although I might have influenced that one - ahh, shit!"
"So he's in charge of my body now?" Ichigo asked, running his hand distractedly through his hair; the freakish wind gusted all around him. Zangetsu nodded.
"It has been growing stronger ever since your return from Soul Society," his zanpakutou said solemnly. "Ichigo, you must find a way to master it."
"I know, I know," Ichigo said, frustrated. "But how? How did it get out in the first place? He made it so that I...usually he only comes out when I'm nearly dying, and my resolve is weak. And I'm able to get him back in because I'm always there, behind my eyes, but now I can't see the way out..."
"Ichigo, it is possible to watch what is happening outside your body," Zangetsu said. "How else do you think that your hollow was able to know your situations, or who you were fighting?"
"You mean he spies on me?" Ichigo took a moment from worrying to be completely outraged. "That's sick!"
"It is only possible to see clearly when you are fighting," Zangetsu said, with a slight upturn of his mouth. "All other times, people and faces are blurred, as if seeing them through water."
"That's not much better," Ichigo muttered. "Well if he could do it, I can do it too. Where do I look?"
Zangetsu pointed to his feet.
"The windows?" Ichigo asked, incredulously, but Zangetsu had gone. "Hey, Zangetsu, I still don't know how to get him back in here! Hey!"
But the zanpakutou spirit was gone, and Ichigo - having become familiar with his sword's modus operandi - resigned himself to having to figure it out himself. He knelt down and peered into the closest window. It was a flat black, but as Ichigo watched, small patterns of dust moved across its surface; errant drops of rain from the angry sky slapped against the glass. Ichigo frowned and went to rub the window with his sleeve, but nearly leapt back as sound surged in his ears. It was Rukia's voice; she was shouting something: Ichigo spread his palm over the glass, and shapes began to materialize, gaining colour and form by the second.
The picture was in clear focus; he must be fighting. With Rukia? She stood about eight feet from him, Sode no Shirayuki fully released, and Ichigo leaned closer to hear what was being said. All of a sudden, the building seemed to buck; Ichigo lost his balance and fell forward in to the window.
"Well hello."
Ichigo was looking at Rukia through his own eyes; his hands, locked behind him, clutched Zangetsu; his legs were soaking wet and very cold. He instinctively attempted to move his head to scan the area: it wouldn't budge. Not even his eyeballs moved. Ichigo flailed within his own mind, momentarily panicking.
"Calm down, King," the voice crackled in his skull and Ichigo's spirit froze. "Just relax and enjoy the ride. After all, if I can do it, so can you."
What the hell is going on? Ichigo thought at it, scared to try and move his mouth. There was a dark chuckle.
"You're just experiencing things from my side of the mirror," it said. "Don't interfere; I'm having a good time."
We're bound by kidou, Ichigo said, realizing the funny feeling around his wrists for what it was. He blew a sigh of relief.
"Yeah, your girl's not so sure what to do with me," Ichigo could hear the smirk in its voice. "So she tied me up, and apparently isn't gonna let me go until you come back."
Ichigo felt a swell of pride for Rukia, focusing on her through his own eyes once again. Her gaze was fixed on him, and she was beet-red; Ichigo imagined she was mad at him for not resurfacing yet. Don't worry, Rukia, I'm coming, he thought.
"If only," the hollow said sourly, but Ichigo ignored it, and began to cast about for clues as to how his hollow had gotten a hold of his body.
Meanwhile, Rukia watched as the hollow was silent for a few minutes. Perhaps it had run out of creativity for its lies - and they were lies, she had to keep telling herself. Ichigo would never - at least, not at first - Sode no Shirayuki raged incoherently as images rose in the back of her mind, unbidden, unwanted, etched there by the hollow's words. Rukia took a breath and tried to counter them with images from her own mind; small fantasies, hopes, little daydreams...but in each one, the hands were bone-white, gripping a little too hard as black eyes burned into her own. Something cold slithered in her gut as she fought the rising panic - remember Ichigo, remember how he looks at you, orange hair and warm hands and glittering black eyes - her stomach lurched as it began to speak again.
"So Rukia, where were we? Right in the middle of the one where you're bent over the -"
Rukia cut its speech off with a lightning bolt directly to its neck; it howled in pain.
Ichigo, trapped behind his own mind, swore as every nerve flared with searing electricity which faded almost as quickly as it had come, leaving a dull ache in his neck.
Oww, fuck, what the hell?
"Ask your pretty little friend out there," the hollow shot back, "She's the one doing it."
You're the one provoking her, Ichigo said vaguely, beginning to notice something else. And...okay, what the fuck? He recoiled in disgust and felt the hollow's intense amusement.
"So I get off on pain, so what?" It shrugged.
That's sick!
"Don't knock it til you've tried it," the hollow opened its mouth and began to speak to Rukia again, leaving Ichigo with only slight nausea and a deep sense of shame for enjoying the sensation to keep him company.
"...bent over his desk," it was saying, "right on the paperwork, right where that bastard Renji sits every day, and he imagines taking you from behind, making you scream his name and say you belong to him and him onlyaaarhgh!"
Inside his own mind, Ichigo listened for the first time to what the hollow was saying; kidou lanced through him, but it was brushed aside by the sheer amount of anger boiling up inside of him. That the hollow had dared to look in on his private thoughts - and yes, they were his, but they weren't supposed to...they were fantasies, harmless; to Rukia, he would never - but the monster controlling his body had different ideas, and Ichigo watched in horror as it used his private dreams to essentially rape the woman who had saved his family and his life.
It wasn't supposed to be like this. Oh God, it was not supposed to be like this. Ichigo raged profanities, tried uselessly to control his limbs, tried to force back the rising desire in his throat. All to no avail: Ichigo watched helplessly as his innermost secrets flowed unbidden from his own lips, wrapping themselves around the small shinigami in front of him, infiltrating her mind, pushing up the walls around her heart, piercing her innermost thoughts. He, Ichigo, had done this. He had allowed something sick and dangerous to be free, and now he was unable to stop it from hurting the person who meant the most to him.
A/N: Because in the end, it's all about the mind-rape.
(Yes, I lifted the imagery of the "pitching forward into the looking glass" thing from the Goblet of Fire, where Harry pitches into D-dore's memories, but it worked very well for what I imagine the link between Ichigo and his hollow to be like. )