AN: So I have to keep this going, but it's not to it's funny crescendo yet. It'll start getting better pretty soon. This is all just background. Please bare with me, especially on the OOCness.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or anything to do with it. I don't own Wafflecrisp either, and I don't own the comic having to do with it. I also don't own Barbie or, luckily, a pair of their sunglasses. At all. Don't sue, please.
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Sasuke sighed, trying desperately to ignore the ramblings of his older brother. Deciding that he needed to change the topic, he looked up from Itachi's toenails. "Um, Itachi, what do you and Kisame do when you have free time?"
"And lose some weight and start smiling less and be less angsty and….what?" Itachi asked. "We train. That's what we Akatsuki do."
Sasuke smirked. "Uh-huh," he said, sarcastically. "I'm sure."
"Then we sit and have milk and cookies. Zetsu used to cook for us, but then we started finding interesting little things floating in our soup and such. That wasn't very pleasant," Itachi rambled on.
"Hey, purple boy, does Kisame paint your nails? Do you make him sushi?" Sasuke giggled to himself. "Do you make him special sushi?"
Itachi's face flushed. "Who're you calling purple?" he demanded. ("Purple!" Sasuke coughed.) "And no! Kisame hates seafood, as do I! And what do you mean by special? And do you have a problem with my nails?"
Sasuke shrugged. "I don't really care. I've got tomatoes. I'm happy."
Itachi bit his lip and gave Sasuke a bad look. "Do you want to know why you're so weak?"
"Onii-san, can't you be positive? Ever?" Sasuke sighed. "Why? Am I sick from tomatoe poisoning?"
Itachi shook his head. "Of course not, otouto-san! You're weak because you lack….WAFFLECRISP!"
Sasuke's face fell. "It's not my fault you took oall of the money! I'm broke, Itachi! The Konoha orphan fund doesn't pay well, and Orochimaru doesn't pay me at all!"
Itachi shook a finger at him. "Then go steal it! Or eat it in the store!"
"That's illegal!"
Itachi laughed, his hands on his hips. "And that, little brother, is one of the many reasons why I'm in the Akatsuki. You couldn't make it in there, Saskue!"
Sasuke smirked. "You can kill off an entire clan but can't manage to spell your little brother's name?"
Itachi scowled. "Give the blind man some credit!" he yelled. "I don't even like these sunglasses!"
Sasuke laughed. "You're such a little Shino poser! You went out and got the exact same glasses as him!" He shook his head. "At least be original. Get pink Barbie sunglasses or something."
"Hey!" Itachi fumed. "The Leader went out and bought these for me! It's not my fault that you don't like them. And what kind of boy your age likes Barbie?" He shook his head. "Besides, Leader said they would make me stand out less, although with Kisame by my side, I don't think they do much. I mean, it's kind of hard not to notice him. And that sword of his. It's huge!"
Sasuke smirked, whistling idly. "Overcompensating…." He smirked. "Did you take Kisame's sword? Did you polish it for him? You know how it hurts people when he releases it. It's quite terrifying. Can you handle his sword? Isn't it blue?"
Itachi sighed, not quite catching on to Sasuke's questions. "Yes. It's blue. And I've never weilded his sword. How should I know?" Suddenly what Sasuke had been saying clicked. "Hey! I'm not gay with Kisame!"
Sasuke smirked. "Uh-huh. I'm sure."
Itachi shook his head, throwing his hands down. "Seriously! I mean, we did dance together once, but we were drunk! What everyone's saying isn't true. Kisame and I aren't lovers! And Sasori and Orochimaru weren't either!"
Sasuke nodded mockingly.
"Why does everyone always assume we're all gay together? We're just a bunch of guys rooming together. All we do is play pranks. Like the day Deidara put my hair in pigtails."
Sasuke sighed. "Yeah. Sure. Anyway, Itachi, I've got to get going. Your Akatsuki friends are probably waiting for you, and I've got to get to Naruto's sleepover." Sasuke shivered. "I regret ever saying yes to that kid."
Itachi's eyes lit up. "What? A sleepover?"
"Yeah." Sasuke kicked a rock. "I'll just chidori him while he's sleeping and I'll leave him on your doorstep with my "Kyuubi Cooking for Dummies" book with him." He turned to go. "You'd better take care of him."
Itachi sighed. "Shouldn't be too hard. You should dye his hair. Make it some interesting color. Oh!" He bounced on his feet. "Dye it pink! Tell Sakura he did it out of admiration!"
Sasuke chuckled. "Oh, and otouto-san?" He turned aroud. "Make sure you eat some sort of good breakfast."
"Kyuubi?"
"Something that gives you energy."
"Fluffy Kyuubi?"
Itachi shook his head. "No ramen. And no tomatoes. And make sure you brush your teeth and take a shower!"
Sasuke groaned. "But Itachi! It's the Scent of Sasuke™! Sure to Drive Every Fangirl Nuts©! Only $19.95!"
"Do it anyway! And get some sleep! You're going to need it!"
Sasuke sighed. "Eh. You know. Sleepless nights brought on by the sight of your clan being slaughtered by your brother...eh. I gotta get over it…." He trailed off.
Itachi shook his head and pushed Sasuke forward. "Fine, but GO! The Kyuubi's waiting!" Sasuke smirked and shook his head. "Fine, onii-san."
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AN: It's still moving pretty slowly and not too funny, but it's working on it. It should be better soon enough. I'm telling you, when Neji shows up, it'll all get better.
Please stay with it!
Review please!