AN: So the third chapter's one of the reasons this fic's rated T. It's a bit…interesting. That and NH, but we'll get to that later. Please enjoy the chapter!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or anything to do with it. I also don't own any hair dye, which is probably a good thing.

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Sasuke snickered to himself as he walked home the next day. He wasn't paying much attention to anything, until he heard his foot crunch on something. Looking down, he saw a note lying on his step. "Ug. What now?" Reaching down, he began to read it.

Otouto-baka,

This is your older brother. I hope that u had fun at your sleepover. I also hope that you dyed naruto's hair like you said you would. I swear, if you did not eat a balanced breakfast before your day started….

If I am not here it is because I am on a mission or with my fellow Akatsukis. NO, I AM NOT WITH KISAME!!!!! He is with Deidara buying some fish (the leader thought that it would be amusing).

But in case you were wondering, my night was fine. We let deidara cook. He had fun, but I'm not sure what we ate. But then the sparkling juice came out and...Well, lets just say that I saw some things that I didn't want to see (NOT THOSE THINGS!!!!!).

Well, the leader is calling all us Akatsukis. So, I will leave you. I will see you eventually, and if not, when your hate is strong enough, come and seek me.


Love,
Itachi

"What the heck?" Sasuke shook his head. "First he kills off the clan, then he writes me notes aying he loves me." He sighed and opened his door.

Itachi was sitting on Sasuke's couch, reading a magazine he had found. "Nii-san!" Itachi turned at the name. "Oh, Sasuke. Did you like my note?"

"Uh, sure," Sasuke responded. "But how'd you get in my-"

"HUG!" Itachi stood up and hugged Sasuke hard to his chest. All Sasuke could do was twitch against his brother. About two minutes later, Itachi let him go.

"So did you do what I told you to do?" he asked Sasuke.

"Um, eat a balanced breakfast?" Sasuke asked, trying to remember the note.

Itachi sighed. "Well yes, but did you dye Naruto's hair?"

Sasuke smirked. "Well, yeah, but that got…interesting." Itachi turned to look at him, and Sasuke continued. "It turns out Naruto's allergic to hair dye, so he kind of swelled up."

Itachi laughed. "That's amazing."

Sasuke shook his head. "That's not the end of it. You see, Naruto got mad about it, too. So he wound up as a puffy, pink, nine tails."

At this, Itachi burst out in hysterics. He held up his palm and high fived Sasuke. "You're becoming more and more like me every day."

"Thanks," Sasuke said sarcastically, moving around to make lunch. "Like I haven't heard that enough from a whole bunch of people. Orochimaru, myself, the Kyuubi…." He ticked the numbers off on his fingers.

Itachi shrugged. "That's another reason he left, you know. Orochimaru, that is." Sasuke turned to listen. "Yeah. Orochimaru left Akatsuki because I dyed his hair. Turns out he doesn't like blonde, orange, and pink hair that much. I was going to do it to Sasori, but, you know."

Suddenly, an image of a blonde Orochimaru filled Sasuke's thoughts. Sasuke felt his right eye twitch.

"Then there was that one time that I was drunk. I did it in a rainbow. Don't think he liked that." Itachi smirked, playing with a lock of his own raven hair.

Sasuke twitched again. "A drunk Itachi. That's not a pretty thought."

Itachi laughed. "Yeah. You don't want to see that. Not a nice thing."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "I'm sure Kisame doesn't mind it, though. I think he might like it, actually. Maybe he spikes your drinks!"

Itachi shook his head. "He doesn't spike my drinks. Although he did record me once. I watched it and I definitely couldn't believe that was me." He turned to Sasuke. "Don't ever drink, little one. It will ruin your life." Now it was Sasuke's turn to play with his hair. "I see. Otouto, do you need me to search your house and take all of it?"

Sasuke shook his head. "It's not here. It was at Neji's birthday party. Let's just say things got interesting." Why am I telling him this? "And, well, when you're…not thinking straight, Neji looks a lot like a girl."

"Oh Okami-sama. Who else was there? Where his parents home? Did you do something with girls?" Itachi looked down at Sasuke, scrutinizing him.

Sasuke looked down at his hand, ticking off the names. "Naruto, Sakura, Hinata, Juraiya, Shikamaru, Chouji, Ino, Gaara, Temari…. And no. Nothing with the girls." He felt himself shiver. "I've been trying to suppress these memories."

Itachi jumped off of the couch. "Juraiya was there? Drunk? With girls? What was Neji thinking?"

Sasuke shrugged. "Neji's weird…" He mumbled something to himself.

"WHAT?" Itachi hollered, shooting towards Sasuke. "NEJI HAD BETTER NOT BE A GOOD KISSER! DO YOU NEED ME TO SUPERVISE YOU NEXT TIME YOU GO SOMEWHERE?"

Sasuke held up his hands in front of his face. "No, and that's a very long story."

"ARE YOU GAY?" Itachi demanded, poking Sasuke in the chest. "And you worry about me!"

Sasuke swatted him away. "No! I'm not, okay? Neji just looks a lot like a girl! I told you that! And Seven Minutes In Heaven is a game invented by the devil!" He shivered. "So much darkness. So disgusting. Sakura, Ino, Hinata and Temari were fangirling, though. Turns out they like yaoi." He twitched again. "And come on! It's not like you never thought Deidara was a girl!"

Itachi stayed silent.

"I take that as a yes."

Itachi withdrew a bit. "Um…about that."

Sasuke's face was horrified. "EW! What'd you do?" He smirked. "So it's Deidara I should be worried about, not Kisame, eh?"

"NO! And I didn't do anything!" Itachi yelled, moving away from Sasuke.

"Tell me!" Sasuke yelled, following him. "Tell me or I'll get Gaara to kiss you!"

"EW! NO!"

"THEN SPEAK!" Sasuke crossed his arms. "I bet Tobi's not even a good boy."

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AN: I couldn't really find a good spot to cut this one. Anyway, I apologize to anyone out there that might have just been traumatized. There shouldn't be too much yaoi in this, as I'm definitely not a fan of it. The next chapter's a bit more on the scary side, though. Talking about Orochimaru….-shudders-

Anyway, please review! It always makes it easier for me to keep writing when I know you guys liked it!

Thanks!