AN: Yup, the fourth chapter's up. I hope you're enjoying this so far. And if you're new to the fic, well then, welcome aboard! I hope you guys come to love this fic, new readers and all!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or anything mentioned in this fic. Even Itachi's pillow. (And if I did have it, I'd be selling it on ebay now….)

-------

Itachi shook his head. "Tobi's a good boy. He helped me across the street. Said it was good to help blind people." He shifted topics. "Oh, there was this one time, I was in heaven. But that was with a girl. That wasn't Deidara." Itachi seemed lost in memories.

Sasuke put a hand to his face. "Please, please tell me she wasn't an Uchiha. Please tell me that wasn't your reason for killing off our clan." A look of dawning crossed his features. "Or was that girl Orochimaru? Was that why he left the Akatsuki? Is that why he wants me?"

Itachi shook his head. "No, no! I didn't kiss Orochimaru! He kissed me!"

That shut Sasuke up. He felt himself throw up a little.

"Yeah, I know. I was sick for weeks. And I was asleep when he did it, too. So watch out. I want to spare you the feeling of a snake tongue in your mouth." Sasuke mad a silent vow to never sleep again.

"You know that's why Orochimaru's evil, right?" Sasuke asked. "He was kissing his girlfriend and she choked on his tongue. Kabuto told me."

Itachi's face fell. "Oh no. He was saying her name while kissing me!"

Sasuke covered his mouth. "Oh no, oniisan! Your long, flowing hair has reminded him of his girlfriend! You'll never be safe!"

Itachi's eyes widened. "But I put it in a ponytail! Is it that obvious?"

Sasuke nodded. "Yes! Have Kisame shred it with his sword! Join the Cocatoo Updue Club!"

Itachi's eyes filled with tears as he pet his hair. "No! My beautiful hair! Do you know how long it took me to grow this out?"

"Then wear hats! Dye it!" Sasuke was full of ideas. Suddenly, Sasuke found himself shifting topics violently. "Do you think I'd look good with a really little ponytail? Like this?" Sasuke squeezed the back of his hair into about a two inch ponytail.

Itachi shook his head, ignoring his brother's question. "That's why I wear this cloak. To hide mine. I mean, the neckband's big enough."

Sasuke was still messing with his hair. "Well it's not just Akatsuki that has that. I mean, I do. So does Shino, Neji, Kabuto, even Naruto! It makes us all look like we have flees!" He shivered, his eyes falling on Itachi's nails. "Ug. Itachi. Do you have to have purple nails? I mean, what do you do? Have nail painting parties?"

Itachi nodded. "Actually, we did have one of those once. It was pretty fun, but we almost ran out of purple!"

Sasuke shook his head. "I don't see why it has to be purple. Why not black? Black's a good color."

Itachi scoffed. "Black makes you look emo."

"Which you are," Sasuke pointed out.

Itachi paused. "Well, yeah, but still! Some of the Akatsuki members aren't! Like Deidara! And Tobi!" He stood and walked over to the mirror on Sasuke's wall, messing with his hair. "There's got to be a way," he muttered to himself.

"You know, Itachi, no matter how long you look in there, it's not going to get any better," Sasuke said, absentmindedly.

"What?"

It was at that moment Sasuke decided that being with Sakura for the next seventy-two hours probably wasn't the best thing that could happen to him. "Um, well, all I said was that you didn't exactly inherit the Uchihot gene."

Itachi whirled around. "What are you talking about? You're the one at the shallow end of the gene pool!"

Sasuke shook his head. "Sadly, no. Look, Itachi. It's not my fault I'm 'bishi'. I blame mating."

"MATING?" Itachi shot in extremely close to Sasuke's face. "WHO HAVE YOU BEEN MATING WITH?"

Sasuke shook his head and held up his hands. "No! I mean Uchiha inbreeding! It's kind of like the Hyuugas, really, and anyone who looks at their clan can see the dangers of incest." He shivered. "And by the way, what's with all the sudden concern about how I live my life? You know, I wouldn't be this rebelious if I had some parenting. But, funny thing about parenting is you need parents, and seeing as you know all about that, I blame you for my troubles." He nodded.

Itachi's face fell. "And did you do that on purpose, oniisan? Did you just want nephews?" Sasuke asked.

Itachi shook his head. "No. I'm not that bad. And face it. I'm hotter. Deal with it. When you're older, maybe then you'll gather the hottness."

Sasuke pouted. "Well at least I don't have wrinkles!"

That shut Itachi up. "They-they're birth marks!"

Sasuke nodded. "I'm sure."

"Hey. You know, there was this one time that the Leader was drunk! We had to tie him to a chair. We threatened to get the duct tape." Way to completely change topics, Sasuke thought.

"Why not handcuffs? They're kinky. Neji had some at his party and…" he trailed off.

Itachi's face was livid. "WHAT DID YOU TWO DO? I'm definitely shapparoning!"

"No! It wasn't us! We didn't do anything!" Sasuke wanted to kick himself for mentioning it.

"How do I know that? How do you know that they're kinky?" He put a hand to his forehead. "Otouto! I never would have guessed! How am I supposed to ever trust you?"

Sasuke stared at Itachi, a look of disbelief on his face. "Between the two of us, whose been more trustworthy?" Itachi didn't answer. "Precisely. And I don't like men! I'm not gay!"

Itachi cuddled a pillow from the couch. "But you kissed Neji."

"And you kissed Orochimaru!"

Itachi hid in the pillow. "He kissed me, not the other way around, and that was disgusting! I was asleep. I was defenseless!"

Sasuke shrugged. "You two frenched! I was drunk, you were asleep. Blame Neji's sake obsession. I was brainless!"

Itachi pouted into the pillow. "Fine. This isn't the end of this!"

Sasuke waved his hand at him, getting up. "I'm going to bed. You can sleep here."

"What?" Itachi looked up from the pillow, his eyes huge. "You mean we're not sleeping in the same room?"

"Why should we? It's not like it's a sleepover. I mean, no offense, but I don't exactly like having sleepovers with people who killed my entire family."

"Not your entire," Itachi muttered. "And we have to sleep in the same room. Just like when we were little!"

"But why?" Sasuke asked, getting annoyed.

"Because you're so cute when you sleep!"

Sasuke stopped in his tracks. He remained silent for a moment and then, "Good NIGHT!" He slammed his door behind him.

"But you do," Itachi mumbled.

-------

AN: So that was a little pointless. Sorry. Starting in chapter five, the plot line actually starts to move. Sorry for the massive amounts of just talking here. It should get better. Please review! I'd love to hear your opinion on the Sasuke vs. Itachi argument that they have. It's just so hard to chose which one's better!

Reviews are an authoress's best friend!