AN: So the fifth chapter lives! Yay! I'm writing this really early in the morning. I apologize for any stupid plot point. And yes, I know it's a bit choppy, but that's because the Uchihas are random and like to change topics.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, Wafflecrisp, or a thong. (Thank God!)

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Stretching, Sasuke got up from his futon and put on one of his old blue shirts and tan shorts. Sighing, he tied his headband on and slid open the door to his room. There was barely a gap big enough for him, but he just squeezed through.

Stepping out into the hallway, he heard something crunch. Leaning over, he picked up Itachi's latest note.

Otouto,

The leader said that we have yet another mission to accomplish (stupid demons and their hosts….). I am really sorry if our plans are cut short today.

I think I'm going to start being more careful around the Akatsuki place, because while I was asleep, a purple snake circled around me, and came really close to my face.

Orochimaru didn't hurt you did he?

Did you sleep well? And eat a balanced breakfast? Kisame and the rest of the Akatsuki say "Hi." But anyway, some day we need to hang out so we can work on our family bonding. Remember We're like brothers, only closer!


Love,

Nii-san

Sasuke shivered and set the note right back down. Right then, he noticed the floor was shaking. Looking up slowly, he saw Itachi running at him. "BROTHER!" His eyes wide, Sasuke turned to run in the opposite direction. Itachi closed the gap between them in a few seconds and wrapped his arms around Sasuke.

"Brother! You're awake! Yay!" Itachi nuzzled Sasuke's hair.

"Let me go!" Sasuke struggled in Itachi's grip. However, finding that it was completely useless, he just allowed Itachi to nuzzle his hair.

Sasuke watched the hand on the clock tick slowly. "Um, oniisan? Can I go? You've been hugging me for five minutes."

Itachi smirked. "But I wuuuv my wittle bwother!" Sasuke sighed and swatted at Itachi's face. Itachi huffed and let him go.

"So what are we doing today, Sasuke? Where are we going? When are we going? What's going on?" Itachi followed Sasuke around as he made himself breakfast. Itachi was clearly a morning person.

Sasuke, however, wasn't. "Itachi, SHUT UP!" He took a sip of his juice. "Just speak normally."

Itachi sighed. "I want to do something today." He sat on the table. "What are we gonna do?"

Sasuke was doing his best not to chidori his own home. "We're going to go somewhere. Okay? Is that good enough?"

"Nooo!" Itachi was holding his knees and rocking back and forth. "We've gotta have a plan!"

Why, Okami-sama? Why me? Sasuke sighed. "Fine." He searched his brain for some idea. Suddenly, a few moments of his childhood came back to him. "You get to give me a piggyback ride today, oniisan," he informed Itachi.

"A…piggy…back…ride?" Itachi cocked his head to the side. "Isn't that a little old fashion?"

Sasuke shrugged. "Then I guess we're not doing anything today." Itachi pouted to himself and Sasuke smirked.

"Where're we going, though?" Itachi asked, taking a bite of Sasuke's food.

"To Neji's," Sasuke told him. "He's having a day-after-another-party-party."

Itachi smirked. "Sounds like he just wants to party. Who's going to be there?"

Sasuke stared at the ceiling. "Hm…Naruto, Sakura, Kakashi, Hinata, Gaara, Temari, Shikamaru, Kankuro, you know, the usuals." He went back to naming names. "Kisame, Juraiya, Tobi, and I think Tsunade if I'm not mistaken." He smirked. "Neji's parties are epic."

Itachi's brow furrowed. "Kisame?"

Sasuke nodded. "He's one of the usuals. I thought he told you that."

"This is the first I've heard of it, although it does explain why he's always back so late."

Sasuke smiled. "So you stay up for him?"

Itachi shook his head. "No. He just always runs into something and it wakes me up. And him being my partner is just business."

Sasuke shrugged. "So the fish doesn't have good night vision. That's not his fault."

Itachi's gaze hardened a little. "He's always drunk."

"Don't know why that would be." Sasuke stood and set his dishes in the sink. Itachi remained on the table. Sighing, he looked up at where Sasuke was now washing his dishes. "Otouto, when is this party?"

Sasuke stared hard at a bit of food that wouldn't leave his plate. "I don't know. I just kind of show up. Neji never seems to mind. He's always busy getting things ready and an extra pair of hands doesn't hurt. Besides, if he wants all the party decorations to be the same, all I have to do is sharingan. He likes me for that." He kept scrubbing.

A silence filled the room. Sasuke looked up from his work to see Itachi sitting on the table facing him. He had the largest and scariest smile on his face Sasuke had ever seen. "Ano…oniisan?"

"He likes you?"

Sasuke could tell this wasn't going well. "Not like that." He decided to resort to threats. "And if you don't take me, I guess it'll just wind up being another game of 'Guess the Color of Neji's Thong.'"

"Okami-sama." Itachi shook his head, his eyes huge. "I'm definitely going now. You need a chaperone. But I'm not guessing the color of Neji's thong. Ever." He shuddered.

Sasuke smiled. "Let's go!"

Itachi shook his head. "Not now! I'm still eating." He moved over to the closet and pulled out a box of wafflecrisps. He poured himself of Sasuke's coffee.

"Where'd those come from?" Sasuke asked, pointing to the Wafflecrisps. "You could have told me you'd bought some!"

Itachi smiled. "But alas, otouto, I am evil." He smiled.

Sasuke sighed. "In that case, is there any way you can tell Tobi to come? He hasn't been showing up lately."

Itachi glanced up at the clock. "He's probably still asleep. Tobi sleeps in forever. It's quite annoying, really."

"Then have Deidara practice art in his room! Or whisper into his ear that he's a bad boy. Nightmares like that are bound to wake him up." Sasuke smirked.

Itachi raised an eyebrow. "I like your style, Sasuke. You're evil. I like that. You take after me."

"And that's a good thing?"

"Yes," Itachi replied, eating his Wafflecrisp.

Sasuke laughed. "It'd be cool if we were partners. We'd rock the Akatsuki with our Uchihotness. And eventually, it'd be 144 hours of happiness!"

Itachi laughed. "Well, if you wanted me to ask the leader…."

Sasuke nodded. "Sure. I could be Tobi's replacement. He's too much of a good boy anyway."

Itachi chewed his Wafflecrisp thoughtfully. "I don't know. Zetsu really wants Tobi to be in it. It'd be hard to convince one side of him, let alone both."

Sasuke smiled. "Fine. Then let me replace Tobi and spray Zetsu with Weed-Be-Gone."

Itachi fell off his chair. "I like that plan. It might work! You're good at this!"

Sasuke puffed out his chest proudly. "You'd better believe it!" Suddenly, his face fell. "Oh my God. Narutos' rubbing off on me! EW!" He ran over to the sink and started washing his tongue with soap. "EW EW EW!"

"Sasuke, Sasuke, STOP!" Itachi ran over and confiscated the soap. "You planning on washing everything off with soap?"

"Not just soap," Sasuke said, his tongue still white from the soap residue. "Lava."

Itachi started. "Let's change the subject." He put the soap in his robe. "Is there anything you want to know about me?"

Sasuke stared at him from under the faucet. Soap bubbles were forming as he washed off his tongue. "I diust abowt nah ebweetink." (I just about know everything.)

Itachi sighed. "There's nothing you want to know?"

Sasuke was towel drying his tongue. "No. I'm pretty good with my research." He took the towel away from his face. "You know, I am-" Suddenly, loud music filled the room, playing the Naruto "Avenger Theme." Sasuke struck a pose with the towel. "An Avenger!" Lights flashed behind him.

Itachi rolled his eyes as the music stopped playing. "Sure you are."

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AN: Yeah, so this chapter's a little weird. I feel bad for Sasuke and washing off his tongue. That's gotta taste so bad. Anyway, I really hope you're enjoying this so far. I know I'm enjoying writing it. It might seem a little pointless, but that's because it's like eight in the morning. Heh.

Please, please review!