A/N: Sooooooooo sorry that I took so long to update. I was dealing with Marching Band, school, and everything else. But now I'm sick, so I have time to write! Yay!

Alright, so I've got to point out before this chapter that the conversation this is based off of took place before we knew who Pein was or what he looked like. So please forgive all the "the leader" ness. Other than that, this chapter's not as funny. Just setting up plot, I guess. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or a mortally wounded Itachi. (Which I guess is both a good thing and a bad thing, as he'd bleed all over the carpet and the dog, but I'd get to nurse him back to health….Hmm…decisions, decisions….)

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Itachi layed on his bed, breathing shallowly. Sasuke whipped around to face the nurse. "N-n-nurse! Help him!"

The nurse was obviously afraid of Sasuke. "Y-yes, sir."

"Sa…suke?" Itachi mumbled, barely able to get the word past his lips.

"Itachi-san?" The nurse asked, trying to see if he was even close to being conscious.

"Yes?" Sasuke shoved the nurse out of the way. "What is it, oniisan?"

"Thank…you…." With that, Itachi's eyes closed and he slumped back, unconscious from the loss of blood. This, of course, caused Sasuke to go insane.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Snarling, he fell to his knees, clutching his head as if he wanted to tear it off.

"Um…Itachi-san?" The nurse asked, sidestepping Sasuke and staring at him with concern. "Can you hear me?" This received a moan from Itachi. "He's unconcious."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Itachi moved his head slightly, and the nurse perked up. "Wait! I think he's responding! Are you in pain?" She spoke slowly and deliberately. Itachi nodded and started rolling over. "Uh…um…Is it your side?"

Sasuke, who was crying quite pathetically on the floor, looked up with tearful eyes and asked very dramatically, "Is it your heart?"

Itachi nodded feebly in response. "And my left lung. It hurts a lot."

"He needs medical attention!" The nurse shouted. ("No shit, nurse lady.") "Go get a doctor!"

Sasuke turned to leave, but stopped as Itachi grabbed his hand. "Sasuke…listen to me…I need you to be strong. Get the rest of the Akatsuki…and tell them I sent you…"

Sasuke's eyes filled with tears. "But oniisan! You'll live through this!"

"…H…urry..."

"A-alright!" With a look of determination in his eyes, Sasuke turned, concentrated all his chakra into his feet, and took off at a rediculous speed.

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"Akatsuki…Akatsuki…" Sasuke glanced around. "It would help if I knew where they were."

Just then, Sasuke spotted a road sign.

Suna: 167 miles

Akatsuki Secret Hideout: ½ mile

Completely baffled, Sasuke made his way in the direction the sign indicated, finally arriving at the hideout.

"AKATSUKI MEMBERS! ASSEMBLE!"

"What are you doing here?" Kisame walked out from behind the wall to a cave, glaring at Sasuke. "Where the hell's Itachi-san?"

"Itachi sent me!" Sasuke proclaimed. "He's in grave danger! He's in the hospital! (That's like the Fish Doctor, but for humans.)"

"Itachi-san…in the hospital…" Kisame seemed lost in a shocked daze.

"YES!" Sasuke replied, shaking the shark.

"I understand." Kisame looked directly at Sasuke's eyes.

"Where are the rest of the Akatsuki?" Sasuke asked, looking around the room he now noticed was abandoned. "We NEED TO SAVE HIM!"

"You go back to your brother, and I'll get the rest of them," Kisame replied, shifting the sword on his fishy back.

"Alright. Get them quickly." Sasuke turned to leave.

"I will. I promise." With this reassurance, Sasuke took off back to Itachi's side.

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"Oniisan! I told them, and Kisame's bringing the rest of the Akatsuki!"

"Thank you, Sasuke," Itachi managed out. Reaching up, he grabbed his hand. "Are you okay? You're not hurt, are you?" He looked very concerned.

"Yes. I'm fine." Sasuke glanced at where a pool of blood was coming from, his thoughts uneasy.

"That's…good…"

"What we should be worrying about now is you." Sasuke glanced down at the blood again. A few moments passed without a response. "Itachi?" Itachi was now turned away, and upon closer inspection, was shaking and covered in goosebumps.

"So…cold…"

"ONIISAN!"

"We're here." The leader stepped into the room, then noticed Itachi. "Itachi! What the hell happened to you?"

"You." Sasuke turned to face the leader, his gaze murderous. "You forced him into so many missions that he was bound to get hurt! It's all your fault!"

"Sasuke…come here…" Itachi moaned. When Sasuke obeyed, Itachi clutched his hand, Sasuke then clutching Itachi's, and continued. "Look, I know that you don't want to…but if you join the Akatsuki, you'll have to do what this man says…even if you don't want to."

"But oniisan! He ultimately killed you!"

"I know…I know," Itach's voice was barely a whisper.

Sasuke started crying. "Oniiiiiiisan!"

"Shh…shh…" Itachi patted Sasuke's back. He pulled Sasuke into a tight embrace. "It's okay. I'm fine…just got a fever…shhhh." Sasuke sobbed into Itachi's shirt.

The rest of the Akatsuki stared at Itachi and Sasuke as if they had both suddenly turned into pinky fluffy bunnies and had attempted to eat the nurses.

"Don't die on me, brother! I c-can't be the last U-U-Uchiha!" He was near hysterics by this point, and the Akatsuki members shifted uncomfortably.

"I'm not going to die," Itachi responded, trying to save his paper gown from total anihilation due to Sasuke's tears.

"Don't lie to me!"

"I'm not lying."

The leader decided this was a perfect moment to break the awkward atmosphere. "You know you still have to do your assignments for the rest of the week, right?"

"Yes, I know that, Leader. I will do my best." Itach pet Sasuke's hair as Sasuke turned to hiss at the Leader.

"YOU WILL DO MORE THAN YOUR BEST!" The leader shouted, gesturing for the Akatsuki to leave.

"He's dying and you still remind him of assignments?" Sasuke was livid now, all his tears gone.

The leader turned to give him a cruel look. "Yes."

"You bastard!" Sasuke tore away from Itachi, firing up his Chidori, but as he moved, the leader disappeared. "DAMN HIM!" Sasuke turned, Chidoriing the wall.

Itachi, gathering all the strength he could, managed to sit up and yell, "SASUKE! STOP IT RIGHT NOW!" Sasuke was breathing heavily, facing away from him, but apparently listening. "Sasuke, do me a favor."

"What, brother?" The anger was evident in his voice as he spoke to the wall.

"When you do eventually hit him with the Chidori, hit him with twice as much power, will you?" Itachi smirked.

"Will do." Sasuke turned back to Itachi, back to his normal, worrying self. "But are you okay, brother?"

"Yes. I just need rest." Itachi reached over and fluffed his pillow, lying back on it contentedly.

"I promise you, I'll kill that stupid leader." Sasuke turned to face the wall again, his angst back with a vengeance over his revenger head.

"Don't kil him. We need him. Just hurt him." Itachi sounded about as interested in the topic as he would be discussing the different sizes of grains of rice.

"How badly?" Sasuke cracked his knuckles, smirking wickedly.

Itachi chuckled. "Well, just don't kill or paralyze him."

"Can I hunt him down?"

"Yes, but are you staying the night here?" Itachi reached over and threw a pillow at him. "Because if you are, I'll get the nurse to pull up a cot for you and to get you some pajamas."

Sasuke nodded. "I think so, but I won't be back for a bit. I think I'm going to do some…hunting." He turned to leave. "I'll be back, Itachi. Get some rest."

"Alright. Just poke me when you get back." Itachi was almost asleep already. "And don't get hurt. Just hunt."

Sasuke nodded breifly, then made his way towards the Akatsuki hideout.

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A/N: Told you it wasn't as funny. Sorry about that. It'll be better soon. Just maybe one more chapter of non-funny, (but fights) and then a massive funny explosion.

Please review!

And please don't kill me if the next update isn't for a while.