Chapter One: Past Commitments

"So Sakura wants to be a princess;" Sasuke asked Naruto. He had found his friend at the ramen bar, of course, and decided to sit next to him to try and make sense of his new problem. Here he was: Twenty years old, had finished one third of his life goals, and washing down his problems with ramen.

"Yup." Naruto replied as he slurped up some pork.

"And wants me to rescue her;"

"Yup."

"In a tower far away;"

"Yup."

"And everyone is in on this;"

"Yup."

"How did she pull that off?"

"Well…" Naruto said as his eyes slid out of focus

It had been a quiet day eleven years before. Hinata was starting to train with her father, Shikamaru was discovering shogi, Lee was failing at chakra, and Naruto only got smacked ten times.

He celebrated this new record with ramen.

Meanwhile, a nine year old Sakura was planning the best day of her life, No! anyone's life! No! The history of the world! No! The Universe!

Her and Sasuke's wedding.

Now like any other young girl, Sakura had read a near fatal dosage of Princess Books. She had piles of gowns, drawings, and toys devoted to them, and had just finished reenacting her favorite one: Super Special Awesome Knight Saves the Princess. She loved that one, especially because it was a Limited Engrish Edition by 4kids. None of the dialogue made sense, and there was evidence of bad photo doctoring over the blood, but she loved it all the same. She was loved it so much that she wanted Sasuke to reenact it before their wedding. She was writing the finishing touches to the plan on a big piece of pink construction paper.

"There! All done! Sasuke will just love to do this before our wedding." She kissed the paper, rolled it up, and stuck it under her bed.

'Now all I need is some help.' She thought, she knew the best way to do it: Blackmail and Bribes.

Naruto

"So let me get this straight…I sign this, then help you get Sasuke, years from now, and in return, I get to watch you swim naked in ramen?"

"Yes." Sakura shuttered, it was weird but worth it.

Blood shot out of Naruto's nose onto the paper.

…

"Does this still count as a signature?"

Ino

"So let me get this straight… I sign this, then give up on Sasuke, and you leave him duct taped to my door once a week guaranteed?"

"Yes." Sakura shuttered, it was weird but worth it.

Blood shot out of Ino's nose onto the paper.

…

"Does this still count as a signature?"

Shikamaru

"So let me get this straight… I sign this, help you get Sasuke, and you will build me a giant cloud decorated shogi board?"

"YES…" Sakura was getting tired of repeating herself.

Blood shot out of Shikamaru's nose onto the paper.

And onto Sakura.

…

Sakura turned to kill him when she realized he was already dead of blood loss.

At least he would help

Chouji

"My price is higher than others. You help me get my precious, I'll help you." Chouji chuckled. He had heard about his teammates and Naruto. He was shocked at how different and similar they were.

Sakura tossed him a bag of Barbecue chips.

"PRECIOUS!" Chouji screamed.

Chouji jumped to catch the chips, crouched over them, and proceeded to eat them.

"We have a deal?" Sakura asked

"Precious is beautiful yes?"

"Yes," Sakura sighed, "Now do we have a deal?"

"Do we have a deal precious?" Chouji asked as he squeezed his stomach to make a pair of lips.

"She may be trixy precious". Chouji's stomach replied

"But she gives us the precious!"

"I don't likes her, but she did give us precious…"

"We have a deal precious?" Chouji turned his stomach lips toward Sakura.

"We do precious." The lips said as they curled into a smile.

Sakura had nightmares for a week.

Hinata

Two shadows stood in the night, each cloaked by a hood. Slowly they moved towards each other. They passed each other a box, thanked each other, and left. Sakura smiled as she held the hyuuga sealed paper contract, guaranteeing her help. She hoped Hinata would like her gift when she opened the parcel.

She would.

When Hinata got home and opened the box, she glared triumphantly at its contents.

Fox tranquilizers.

Shino

Shino was easy to please. She found him tending to his bugs.

"Yes?" He asked as he turned to Sakura.

"Do it."

"'kay." He replied as he turned back to his bugs.

Kiba

"Dog Biscuts…"

Sakura smiled.

Kiba sighed, "You realize I'm not a dog…"

Sakura's smile drooped.

"Yes…but one of these is."

Sakura threw him some pictures. Kiba picked them up and stared at them. He stared at the two figures in the frame that were holding each other closely.

"DAD!?"

NARUTO! WAKE UP!

Naruto's eyes slid back into focus as he looked at Sasuke's angry face over their food.

"You don't want to know."

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