Hey all, sorry about how long this one took, but I'm back and ready to roll. I hope. Please read and enjoy.

After finally convincing Sasuke to take one for the team, the trio set off towards "Princess Sakura". Naruto lead the team forward, while Sai followed absent mindedly. Sasuke, meanwhile was pooling over an Occult book.

"Sasuke, I'm pretty sure that bringing Itachi back to life, even if it worked, is gonna piss some deity off, or at least get you arrested."

"Shut Up! He was older! It's his responsibility as eldest to repopulate, not mine!"

"Even if you brought him back, I doubt he would want this anymore than you do."

"Why?"

"Well…he did hang out with a shark man all day, and you know what's true about sharks."

"What?"

"They have two..." Sai started, only to have Naruto cover his mouth.

It was not worth it.

"HALT!"

Chapter Four: Shall We Play A Game?

The trio stopped, to see Kiba, standing in the way of the road.

"Welcome hero, and lowly attendants!"

"I think he means you…." Sai whispered to Naruto, earning him a glare.

"I am Sir Kiba, and I hold the trial of wisdom! To get past me to Lady Sakura, you must prove your wisdom."

…

The three huddled

"Why is the Eye-Dee-Ten-Tee in charge of wisdom?" Sasuke whispered.

"I think they ran out of jobs?"

"This doesn't make any sense."

"None of this makes sense! I have to go through trials and climb a stupid tower to save a voluntarily kidnapped woman! And you Naruto!" Sasuke shouted, pointing at Naruto, "Why are you so willing to help me have kids with Sakura?"

Naruto sighed.

"Look bastard. The faster you two screw, the faster you abuse her, the faster you divorce her, and the faster I pick her up on the rebound, and have her climb MY tower for a change."

Sasuke blinked.

"Make sense to you?"

"Yes, but the fact that you came up with that doesn't…" Sai said

"Uh...guys, can we hurry up…I don't really want to be here." Kiba asked

"Eh?" Sasuke said as the huddle broke, "Sure. What's the deal here then?"

Kiba cleared his throat. "Attention Knights! I am the keeper of wisdom! Your jobs is to prove your wisdom and defeat me! Only those with true wisdom can-"

"Didn't I beat you by farting in your face?" Naruto asked.

"That was different. Anyway…only the wise can-"

"Are you saying that what comes out of my ass is smarter than you?"

"It's certainly smarter than what ever comes out your mouth."

"Idiot!"

"Loser!"

Naruto and Kiba began to glare at each other, before erupting into a fight.

"So Sasuke, how do you intend to show your wisdom?" Sai asked

"By leaving…"Sasuke said as he began to walk away. Unfortunately he could not move. He tried to see what was happening, but before he could look, he had begun to dance. He looked down and noticed a long black line extending away from him.

Shikamaru

"Ok…Ok…I'll do the challenge, just come out so I can see you."

Shikamaru stepped out from behind the bushes, yawning as he walked. "God, why do I have to be here, its so-"

"Troublesome?"

"Exactly;"

"So…what is my challenge of wisdom? How about Shogi?"

"Nah…Let's play Global Thermonuclear War."

"Huh?"

"I mean…Shogi. Yes."

"What was that last one?"

"Shogi."

"No I…"

"Shogi."

"But…"

"Do you want a clan or not."

"Not really anymore." Sasuke admited

"Well, I get paid either way so I don't care."

"So whats ahead of me?"

"Well, the challege of power, and the challege of courage, then maybe some dragon or something. I don't care. By the way, you might want to check on your monkey there."

"Eh?" Sasuke turned around, immediately wishing he hadn't.

Naruto was somehow naked and sitting on Kiba's (also naked) back, and was trying to use his headband to strangle Kiba. Meanwhile, Akamaru was biting Naruto's neck while Sai was drawing a picture of the whole thing.

"Sai…Why are you drawing that?" Sasuke asked.

"Do you have any idea how much Hinata pays for KibaNaru doujinishi?"

"I don't want to know, but I can guess."

"Exactly;" Sai smiled as he turned back to his work.

"Do they know about this?"

"They never question the royalty checks."

"Ah…"

While Kiba and Naruto fought, Sai began to add dialogue, and Sasuke and Shikamaru began their game of Shogi. However, Sasuke had a secret weapon. He turned to page three of his Uchiha Family notebook.

Uchiha Problem solving

The following are to be used whenever anyone in the Uchiha Family has some problems. Please turn to the proper page.

4. Family

5. Work

6. Clan

7. Shogi

8. Missions

Sasuke smirked as he turned to page seven and began to read:

Uchiha Secret Shogi Victory Technique.

Use this whenever you have a challenger you might not be able to beat in shogi.

Kill everyone around you.

Sasuke gaped. This could not be, he turned the page to see if there were further instructions, but only found the Missions page.

Uchiha Mission Help Technique

Use this whenever you have a problem on a mission

Kill everyone around you.

Sasuke continued to gape; he quickly shifted back to page four: Family. He studied the page, and dropped the book in shock.

Uchiha Family help Techniques

Use these various solutions for the various problems below:

Annoying Sibling

Kill everyone around you

Annoying Parents

Kill everyone around you.

Annoying Child

Kill everyone around you.

Abusive Sibling

Kill everyone around you.

Abusive Parents

Kill everyone around you.

Abusive Child

Kill everyone around you.

Baby Who Will Not Stop Crying

Kill everyone around you.

Child who spills milk

Kill everyone around you.

Child Who Trips

Kill everyone around you.

Child Who Asks You Questions

Kill everyone around you.

Child Who Breathes

Kill everyone around you.

Sasuke stared at the book.

This explained so much.

"Oh my god Shikamaru! I found the reason it happened! It all makes sense! It wasn't my fault! It wasn't Itachi's fault, he was brain washed. I finally can forgive him! Itachi! My brother! I forgiv- EH!?"

Sasuke's rant had been interrupted by a loud snore, he turned to see that Shikamaru was asleep. Sasuke was about to wake him up when he heard Kiba's voice.

"Congratulations! You passed!" Kiba shouted.

"Eh?"

"You had no shot what so ever of beating Shikamaru, so you bored him to sleep and won by default."

"But I was showing my feelings!" Sasuke cried, "It was a heartfelt expanse of emotion spread on a canvas of feeling. I was-"

"Shut up and move. I want to go home."

Sasuke wiped his eyes, picked up Naruto's (still naked) unconscious body, and began to drag it along the road (smacking against the rocks as he dragged), as Sai followed in tow.

"Hey." Sai said, "Dickless does have a-"

"SHUT UP!"

Yes the Thermonuclear War is from Wargames. If you never saw it, it's good.

Reviews are appreciated, but I won't beg.