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'No Ordinary Cinderella' – A Twilight Fanfic
By No Ordinary Cinderella
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Saffron's POV
Chapter Fifteen
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Chapter Dedication to: musicvamp
An: The chapter outcome has been CHANGED!
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"It's going to be okay, everything's going to be okay now." His smooth silky voice breathed in my ear.
He made the words seem believable as if it were going to be okay, as if everything was going to be happy, but I knew for a fact that it wouldn't be.
The past haunts the future with littered chains of torn memories, haunting me, torturing me with each second of the train of trauma, till I would hardly be a person, not that I was already.
My only wish three years ago was to die, but what was it now? What would it ever be? I wouldn't know, memories are sown and stitched as they are made but they are made of more than just ordinary string, they are made from life and if you take your life, there will be no memories left. No memories to taunt my mind with, no painful reminders of my past, no nothing.
I had always told myself that I didn't want to live, that I didn't want the memories, that I didn't want the pain, but would I still get on with life now, would I still want to live?
I wanted the memories of my blood splattering on the walls to go, the hurt, the humiliation, the pain, the solitude, the last seconds of my sister's hitched and shallow breathing, the last seconds of her screams, the last seconds of her heartbeat, the last seconds she was living, I just wanted to let those memories go. Not to forget them, but to free them of myself, to not torment me every night when I fall asleep or everytime I hear a shriek.
But most of all, I wanted Cathy with me right now, but it would never happen would it? Because she was dead and I was not, and she was in the past, and you cannot reverse your actions, no matter how many wishes or prayers or pleas you make, no matter how many tears or sobs are shed, the past would never change and neither would the memories.
One second was all it took for a new memory to be sown.
One heart-shattering scream to be in my nightmares for the rest of my life.
Just one more body buried, one more name to the list of the dead, just one more girl that had died to the world.
Just one more person the world forgot.
The world kept spinning, it never cared, it may have forgot about Cathy but I couldn't forget and I wouldn't either. The world still spins whilst your world falls apart.
I only just noticed that my cries and wracking sobs had subsided, and that I still held one of the Cullen men in my arms.
I let my arms go slowly, as I looked up to see who it was.
Ryan.
He was looking down at me, his eyes meeting mine, golden and beautiful. His brown short hair messed up, possibly by all that frantic chaos earlier.
"I'm sorry." I whispered.
He smiled sadly, "No problem."
I smiled sadly back. His eyes averted from mine down to my lips.
"You look beautiful when you smile, even when it's a sad one."
I looked away. He must either be deranged, a lunatic, blind or was just trying to be nice. Everyone knew I was ugly, nothing special, so why were his arms still around my body?
He probably thought I'd run away. "Don't worry, I won't run, I promise." I said as I took his arms away from my body.
I felt unsafe again, unprotected as his arms left me, I was already cherishing the little time he was going to be nice to me, before he got annoyed with me, before he got angry, before he started to hit me too.
I got up from his lap and sat down on the couch. Relaxing as the soft, feathery sofa fell onto my cold hard back.
I didn't realise I had closed my eyes until I opened them again, with all the Cullen's sitting around looking at me as if I was crazy. Maybe I was.
"I'm sorry." They looked at me as if I was crazier. I was apologising for earlier, and for when I ruined this happy family.
I didn't even notice that two people were sitting either side of me. Ryan and Rosalie, with Emmett to her right.
I looked around and caught the eye of Carlisle.
"She wants to know what happened to her." Edward spoke.
"How did you-"
"You'll know soon."
"Wait, I thought you couldn't read her mind?" Emmett's booming voice said.
"I can and I can't. It's like she sometimes turns down the volume of her voice in her head or something, like she's on mute but now I can hear her, same as ever."
He reads minds?!
I didn't want him to read my mind, I didn't want him to see my pain, my suffering, he didn't deserve to feel it, I did.
"How did you do that?!" Edward suddenly exclaimed.
"Do what?"
"You blocked your mind. I can't hear anything but I can still sense it's there, it's like you know how to block me but you can't because that takes years of practice and besides you didn't even know I was a mind-reader until a few minutes ago." He said exasperated.
"I'm sorry."
"Why do you apologise for everything? It's not like you have to, it's not like you have something to be sorry for." Rosalie said.
"But I do." It fell silent at that.
Carlisle broke it out by saying, "Well, I guess we should actually get to the point of this meeting, shall we?"
So he told me, all about what I had become, enemies, powers, the Volturi, characteristics, blood lust, diets, their diets, and then, newborns.
This explained my red eyes. They would never change back to the colour that I hated, to the colour which I saw in every photograph of my mother, every time I looked or walked past a mirror, I would never see my mother's beautiful eyes, and I was happy that I wouldn't look like her, happy that my eyes were not the tormenting mix of brown, blue and greens weaved together.
I felt myself smiling again. Smiling felt like nothing I had felt before, it felt kind of…nice.
"What are you smiling about?"
"Nothing." I quickly made my lips into the smooth line that I had perfected for years, the unreadable expression to show my father hadn't hurt me, that he didn't cause me pain everyday, that I wasn't broken.
However, Edward Cullen was looking at me and smiling sadly back, like he knew my secret.
I wouldn't be tormented by my appearance any longer, I wouldn't be tortured for looking like my mother, I wouldn't be beaten and scarred because of what I looked like, because I didn't look like that beautiful, shining person that was dead and who I could never look up to. I was different now.
"What happened to my father?"
They all looked up at me and gazed into my eyes before Rosalie quietly whispered, "I killed him."
"Thank you." I whispered.
Even though he was my father, he was only one because I had his DNA, not because he was a father figure to me. I would have been dead if it were not for the Cullen's; he never cared about me or Cathy, only for his grief and depression, never caring for our feelings or life.
I wish I felt guilty that he was gone, but I couldn't, and I never would. Because he made me feel as if I was worthless, stupid, clumsy, arrogant, inferior, and I was only five when he first hit me. I still felt that way.
Those memories are like scars, overtime, they heal but the pain that comes from them, they would always be remembered.
"Would you like to join our family Saffron? You don't have to, but you would be more than welcome to stay." Esme spoke softly to me.
If I could cry, I would have then.
"I can't, I'm sorry, I just can't."
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An: I changed the ending, I'm sorry but I, the writer, wanted to write something HAPPY for a change, but I couldn't because it doesn't fit in with my plot line! Thank you for the person who spotted it out and questioned me! If you look up above, this chapter is dedicated to you!