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'No Ordinary Cinderella' – A Twilight Fanfic
By No Ordinary Cinderella
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Saffron's POV
Chapter Sixteen
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Chapter Dedication to: musicvamp
An: The Last chapter outcome has been CHANGED!
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As soon as I said it, I rose from my seat and I sprinted to the door. I couldn't break apart another happy family, I wouldn't let myself.
I wasn't really focusing on anything when I ran for the door so I managed to somehow bang into the wall. I fell backwards before someone grabbed my arms tightly and brought me back to the couch.
I looked back and realised that I hadn't run into a wall, I had run into Edward. He was standing stiff with an expressionless face, barricading my only escape.
I looked around the room, noticing that each Cullen male had preoccupied a getaway route except from Carlisle.
"I am sorry but we can't let you go Saffron." Came someone's voice behind me…was it Bella's?
"You see…you won't be able to control yourself with humans so close in the vicinity, you would easily kill them being a newborn, trust me, I would know." Her voice became quiet at this point.
I didn't want to end anyone else's life; they all deserved to live their lives free from pain, entrapment and death. They should all live to bring up children, and having grandchildren and being loved from all generations.
I wouldn't let myself take any lives, but I also wouldn't let myself rip apart a family. I've seen what I've done beforehand and I won't let it happen again.
I could stand the pain within me, but I could not stand the pain of others. I cannot let others live what I have been through, what I got, was what I deserved.
What should I do? Still go and destroy innocents all because of a different nature my life now lives on? Or do I stay for a while, breaking up a family?
What could I do?
An idea struck me. I could learn control, and then I could go, I wouldn't kill innocents and I wouldn't be around for too long to rip them apart.
I could live on my own, doing my own things, being what I want to be, being free.
But would loneliness come at a price? Would it become so unbearable that I'd just end up killing myself anyway? Why don't I just kill myself now? But the truth was, I didn't know how to kill myself now, they had failed to mention that to me, for some strange reason.
"How do vampires die?"
"Don't answer the question." Alice's calm voice whispered.
Everyone looked to Alice curiously and then took in her stiff posture and stern face. Her eyes seemed to be aflame with warning.
"Why?" Emmett asked.
"Do not even tell that answer to the question she just asked, okay? Do not tell her the answer until I decide to, if anyone does; there will be major consequences for us all." And with that, her feet danced their way up the stairs, until I could hear a door slam shut.
I could see everyone agreeing with her and not questioning her, maybe because of the power to see the future?
But then I realised, she was trying to stop me from killing myself, from knowing how to kill myself, she didn't want me to be killed, or she just pitied me. I thought the latter was deemed most possible, everyone I knew wanted me dead or never even cared if I was found dying in a ditch somewhere, they'd probably just walk on by like the Good Samaritan but no one would come to me or help me anyway, they'd just laugh and probably finish me off.
No one cared about me, they were just caring for the innocents, they didn't care about me for one second, and they never did.
Why did I feel so sad?
"I need you to promise me that you will not leave this house unless permitted to do so or being with others. You promise?" Carlisle asked me.
I simply nodded and Bella unwrapped her arms from mine and started to hug me instead.
I didn't return it.
Why was she hugging me anyway, it was just a form of pity and sympathy and I didn't want that. I never did, and I didn't want it now.
I waited until she was finished and then I turned back around.
"I'll show you to your room." Esme came up to me and grabbed my hand, pulling me along.
I sat inside my room, not really noticing the material things.
"Do you like it?"
"Hmm?"
"Do you like your room, sweetie?"
"Yes, thank you."
She smiled at me and left, closing the door behind her.
They were only being nice to me so that I wouldn't end up killing others for no reason, they'd probably just keep me here until I have self-control and then kick me out which was what I was planning to do anyway.
But all I could feel was this gaping hole in me. It was going to be hard to fill, Cathy filled that hole, but when she was gone, the brutal blows my father gave me where what filled it. To know that he actually noticed me, was enough; to hate me was better than to ignore me. That's why I wasn't mad at him for hitting me, because I knew he had some sort of feelings for me, that he knew I was there, and that I wasn't invisible.
I couldn't help but to feel invisible here, like I did at school, that I didn't belong, that I never belonged anywhere, that I was just a different puzzle piece to everyone else's puzzles and I would never be complete, I was oddly-shaped, and deformed, and an ugly puzzle piece at that, and I didn't fit in anywhere, so I was always alone.
I would spend forever alone, unless I knew how to kill vampires, which meant knowing how to kill myself. Maybe I would fit into heaven or to hell, or the place we move onto when we die.
I wouldn't be alone anymore. I had felt lonely all my life, but I had never felt this alone before.
I had had my father, who never like me but I always had Cathy, and when Cathy was gone, I had my education, I always had something, but now…now I had nothing.
I was alone for the first time truly in my life.
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An:
A cloak surrounds me everywhere I turn,
My father used to call me, The Devils Spawn,
Everyone watches as I crash and burn,
Never caring that I am battered and torn,
I wonder how I can get through one more night,
In this violent and malevolent life,
I fade out of sight,
I was always the cause of others strife
No one seems to notice, no one seems to care,
I am just one more name written on a list,
So I find myself thinking that life is just cruel and unfair,
Because I was just another punch bag for my father's fist,
A broken body, a torn mind, a scarred heart,
Am I just another thing for the world to tear apart?
Do you like the poem? I know I haven't written a proper one in ages so I thought I'd have a go, tell me if you like it! Oh and tell me if you like the chapter too!