DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Sadly.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: yes I know, I'm a terrible person for taking this long to update – if it's any consolation I've left Good Intentions even longer.
This is a shorter chapter than usual, barely four pages, but I feel I've got to the stage where I need to move to the big finish, and this is the push towards that.
To plead mitigating circumstances for my appalling delays in updating, I am currently doing my PGCE (teacher training) and the work involved is far more than I ever could have imagined and thus writing time is severely limited.
That said, my brain is also stuck on a couple of other ideas I've got floating round my head – I have posted the first chapter of something new on my livejournal so please visit and comment on it (or I won't update again for a very long time). Seriously!
A big thanks to everyone who has stuck with this hugs
Chapter Eight
Friday 3rd January
A few weeks after the last chapter.
Something was wrong in the state of Hogwarts.
As a consequence of some exceptionally bad weather the school was virtually full over the holidays, for not even wizards can do much in the face of extreme blizzards. A couple of weeks ago this would have been fine, and maybe it was just the toll of living in such close quarters starting to make itself felt, but everyone around Ron Weasley seemed to be coming undone.
Draco Malfoy was even more reserved than usual and could spend hours in silence, just watching his classmates and, presumably, thinking.
Hermione seemed to be trying to overcompensate for Draco's strange behaviour by talking at him at every possible occasion.
Seamus Finnegan was becoming increasing withdrawn and anti-social.
Dean Thomas was feeling guilty for not noticing his best friend was upset, and was acting increasingly hurt and frustrated at Seamus' refusal to confide in him.
Ginny Weasley was upset that Dean was upset, and they would spend hours in corners of the common room, talking things through.
Harry had started adopting his 'I'm so tortured' air again, presumably affected by the strange behaviour around him.
And even Ron himself was feeling increasingly pissed off at the mere sight of Blaise Zabini.
All this came to a head on the last Friday of the holidays. The Slytherin's were in their own common room doing whatever Slytherins did on a Friday night, and the Gryffindors were not doing anything special, talking, playing games, the usual boarding school activities.
Hermione had given Harry 'Monster Crunch' for Christmas, a game she had loved as a child, and Harry had bought it down to the common room and was rounding up players.
"Come on Seamus, make our fourth, you know you want to," he was pleading with his sullen friend, adopting the same playful, flirty tone that the Gryffindors had come to call his Blaise-voice. "Come on, play."
"Fuck off Harry," the Irish boy snapped, pushing Harry out of the way and standing up.
"Seamus…" Harry began, confusion etched across his face.
"We don't all have to do what you want, you know. We're not here to entertain you because your boyfriend is off somewhere else. You don't always get to have your own way."
Harry visibly flinched under Seamus' outburst and just stood there as his friend stormed upstairs, watching the empty space as if waiting for Seamus to come back and say it was all a joke.
"Harry…" Hermione began, reaching out for him.
"No, 'Mione," he shook her off and looked around the silent common room, "I'm ok, really." With patently false cheer he turned to his friends, "you ready? Let's play."
Studiously ignoring everyone else, Harry began playing the game, while a furious Hermione headed towards the stairs.
"Oh no you don't," Ron caught his irate girlfriend before she could get away. "Let me talk to him."
"Fine," Hermione sulked, knowing from experience when to let Ron have his own way.
Seamus was sitting on his bed, legs tucked up to his chin, hair falling over his face. He didn't look up when the door opened, enquiring in a flat monotone, "so Ron, you here to punch me for upsetting Harry?"
"No."
Ron sat on the bed opposite Seamus, waiting.
"You know, Hermione wanted to come up here. I could always go and get her…"
The threat behind Ron's words was so patently obvious that Seamus offered a grudging smile.
"Come on mate, talk to me."
"Nothing if not persistant, eh Ron?" Seamus raised his head to look at the redhead who was now sitting on his bed facing him. "I can't talk to Harry's best friend. Not about this."
"Then talk to me."
Seamus closed his eyes as he began speaking, "There are rules, you know, rules about who you look at…and who you don't. I bet you never looked at anyone other than Hermione in your entire life, did you? But for the rest of us, we make decisions everyday, assumptions about other people, about the things they want and the things don't want. It didn't take me very long to make a decision about Blaise. I knew he wouldn't want any sort of serious relationship, nothing two heavy. He is Draco Malfoy's best friend, his best male friend. And a Slytherin. With a reputation. So, in my infinite wisdom I decided that the last thing he would want would be a relationship. With me."
Seamus paused, considering looking at Ron. But the true Irish Catholic in him kept his eyes closed, because not seeing the person he was confessing to made it that little bit easier.
"I'm not stupid you know, I know what people say about me. And what they used to say about him. But when I started noticing him I started thinking that maybe he was the one I was looking for. We kissed, more than once, and it felt so right. I was so torn, torn between wanting more and fearing I'd lose everything if I went for it. Then suddenly he's all Harry ever talks about and it's like I imagined the whole thing."
Seamus fell silent. His voice had been a monotone throughout his confession, but the emotion he was trying to conceal was writ large across his face. His eyes, when he finally opened them to face Ron's judgement, were filled with hurt and confusion.
"Seamus…have you even tried talking to Blaise about this?" Seamus looked confused, this being pretty much the last thing he'd expect to hear Ron say. "My advice, for what it's worth, is take a couple of days, think about it, and if you really think he's worth it, talk to him."
"But Harry…"
"This isn't about Harry."
"You think? You're telling me to make a play for your best friend's boyfriend, a boy he is completely taken with. You've seen them together…"
"Yes, I have," the disapproval in Ron's voice was audible. "Don't worry about Harry, think about yourself."
With this parting shot stunning his friend into silence, Ron rose and left Seamus alone with his thoughts.
Before the door had swung completely shut, Ron's voice could be heard from down below. "Harry mate, room for one more?"
'Well, that was unexpected,' Seamus thought to himself, lying back on the bed in an effort to get comfy. 'I had at least thought he'd deck me but instead he was advocating, hell he was encouraging that I attempt to sabotage Harry's relationship.'
But why was he doing it; that was the one thing that Seamus couldn't figure out. Why was Ron suddenly turning on Harry like that?
And could he do it? Harry was a great bloke, with a good heart. And it was a heart that had been broken so many times in the past. Could Seamus walk all over it, destroy him again by taking away yet another loved one?
And could he be happy if he didn't?
In the end it all boiled down to his feelings for Blaise. He knew he liked the other boy, liked him more than he had ever liked anyone else. It was also more than a physical attraction. They never really talked seriously, that was something Seamus had taken great pains to avoid in fear of frightening Blaise off, but they had the same sense of humour, and seemed to like the same kinds of things. When Blaise talked in class, or to his friends, he was never afraid of speaking his mind, which Seamus liked, but he also managed to show consideration for those around him, which Seamus loved. He knew he did not take things as seriously as Blaise did, but he felt that, if he had the chance to find out, he would find that they fitted. Fitted without either boy having to change who they were…they would just have to bend a little.
In his more positive moments Seamus could imagine Blaise hearing him out, telling him that he felt the same way, but his more logical side told that when it came to a choice between Seamus Finnegan and Harry Potter, well there really was no contest.
And what was more worrying…what if he did win? If Blaise threw Harry over for him. Not only would Seamus probably become the most hated boy in the school, but he would be dating someone who changed boyfriends without even thinking about it. Could he be happy with someone who would move on that quickly, or would he be forever worrying about where Blaise's eye would be wondering?
'A week,' he told himself firmly, 'if I can look Harry in the eye without feeling like a total shit, if I can look at other men and feel nothing, then whatever I feel for Blaise has to be worth the risk.'
END CHAPTER EIGHTWell, what did you think?
I'm guessing that this will be all finished in two chapters – I just hope it doesn't seem too rushed!
Review responses (again, these do not do justice to the reviews I received, but it could have gone on for pages if I had answered you all properly):
Quidditchjunkie: wow, thanks for long review. Can't answer it with the justice it deserves because I've got less than 10 minutes before my internet time runs out, so gotta update. Bye!
chibidark angel: another long review I don't have time to do justice to, so big thanks!
Isis-mystic: no! Blaise doesn't love Harry, he just wishes he does cus life would be easier.
LadySilvrene: or something like that!
Phoenixdreams: aw, some sympathy on my crap updating, thanks!
Sal: wow, thanks!
Lloneke: yup, my Harry Potter is secretly like an American teen drama, all drama and almost-angst, but inevitable happy endings, promise!
Libbs: this fic will never be dead evil laugh … though it will be finished, honest!
NekoNickie: I really won't abandon this, I just do honestly find it hard to find any time to write or an internet to update on. Glad you like the story though.
Tangledhair: hopefully this answers the Seamus issue – he might be able to do that to Harry! Glad you like the story, and hope you love my Ron and his devious plan as much as I do. This story is a bit of a secret ode to Ron, I think!
Glorious Madness: yup, I too loved getting in my Anne of Green Gables references! Giggled to myself a little, I'm ashamed to say!
loreleia: aw, thanks!
And thanks to fifespice, metropolitanrubbish, Web Walker, blaeisze, smurffy, yuya-chan, Kitty Maxwell-Yuy, elvengoddess696, Magician's Guardian24, Flames of Crimson, OccupiedNeptune, Blue Rosed Dragon, saFire flame, Shena, Ivin Artemis Draconis, Crystal Moon Dragon, nerwindelin, chibixholic, Cherry0214, Greatath, Quiproquo, Takuto-kun, Unconsciousdiary, Altariel Eldalote, Iana Moon, ddz008, maleficus-lupus, Roslyn Drycof, M'Lady, RedboneDyme, Dark Guardian24, yeGADS, cRazy-GIrl-3000, ura, DanishGirl, Beth Weasley, B Madden, Tearlesereph, A-Brighter-Dawn, Katrina, Moondork1, vermilionxx, XiaoBai, Queen of the Slash, cutieak88, Saimhe, green eyed dragon, fowler Nsow and truthxinxshadow