Hi everyone! Thank you so so much for your reviews, they mean everything to me. Honestly. Oh, by the way, I know Hermione's acting a bit weird in the middle of this chapter, but I'm trying to make her more equal to Snape. As there will be a relationship between them later on, I figured I had to make them sort of equal first as I'm not very fond of teacher-student love relationships (anymore).
As I always write the chapters after songs that has inspired me I figured I might as well tell you which song each chapter was inspired by. I got the idea of this one from Brendan Benson – Them & Me and The Raconteurs – Steady As She Goes.
Please keep reviewing, I'm sorry I don't have time to reply to your reviews right now, but I will next time I post, I promise. Thanks for reading, xxx
"I'm not going to run away, professor. Despite what you may think, Sir, I'm not that childish. Fire away," Hermione said daringly and sat down on the chair Snape had gestured at.
"I need to set some things straight, are your parents aware of your alcohol and drug consumption?," Snape asked seriously.
"They'd go crazy if they knew about the drugs," she replied honestly. "They know that I drink, but not really how much,".
"What about your relationship with Artory?," he questioned.
"They didn't know about it. They'd totally freak out if they knew that I'd been dating a 35 year old man," she said quietly and fumbled with her hair.
"Most parents would. How much of all this do your friends know?," Snape asked.
Hermione finally decided that she was tired of acting like someone she wasn't. Playing nervous all the time was not something she enjoyed. After all, she was not a nervous little school girl anymore. Faking nervousness is actually rather boring. She had already shown him the real her when she had wanted to leave the room earlier that evening, so it didn't matter anymore, she decided.
"They know about my trip to Hogsmeade but that's about it. And of course the information I shared with them earlier this evening," she replied.
Snape carefully contemplated the information he was intaking. As he sat down on his chair, he realized that he liked this new side of her. It was apparent to him that this was the real her. Obviously, the Mary Sue person was just a charade. At least she played it well, he thought amusedly. He removed his coat and allowed it to hang loosely on his backboard. While still keeping eye contact with his student, he rolled up the sleeves of his shirt so that he felt more comfortable. Why he even allowed himself to look this relaxed in front of a student, he did not know. Perhaps he felt the need to bare some parts of himself as she was telling him the story of her life. Perhaps it was because he felt relaxed in her presence. Whatever the reason was, he did not wish to know. He conjured a glass of water for himself and offered his student the same but she rejected his offer.
"Is this your first relationship with someone who is," he chose his words carefully. "someone who is twice your age?," he asked.
"Yes, it is my first relation ship with someone, who is, as you so nicely put it, 'twice my age'," she retorted dryly. "I have, however, had two relationships with guys over 20,".
"I see. When did you lose your virginity and to who?,".
Hermione frowned at the question but chose not to comment on it. She did not understand his reasons for interrogating her like this, but she was certain he had some pretty good ones.
"Fourth year at Hogwarts. The guy was a seventh-year Slytherin called Patrick Cavendish. And before you say anything about Viktor Krum, let me clear one thing, I was not in love with him. He was only a cover for Patrick, whom I was in a relationship with for a few months," Hermione explained.
"Ah, yes I know Patrick. Quite a brilliant scholar, he was. You may be interested in knowing that he ran away from his parents three weeks after graduation because he did not want to join Voldemort. Fortunately, he had a muggle cousin in South Africa, so that is where he has lived ever since. I believe he is doing quite well at a university there,".
"Thanks for telling me that," she replied softly and looked straight into his eyes. They took her by surprise, as she had not expected to find that curiousness and kindness had replaced the ususal malice. Not even his face held his usual sternness. "Next thing you'll probably ask what sex positions I prefer," Hermione joked and laughed at the sight of his surprised face.
Snape cursed himself inwardly for letting the surprise show. It was evident that she had seen it. He promised himself that it would not happen again.
"I was joking, you know," the Gryffindor gave him a small smile, filled with nothing but kindness. There was not a trace of mocking in her voice.
The smile she sent him made him even more confounded. He was not comfortable with someone being at such ease around him. It made him feel like he had lost control.
"Miss Granger, hold your tongue or you will serve all your detentions with Filch," Snape said warningly. Somehow he felt himself regret those words the moment they had escaped his mouth. He realized that for some reason he would miss her company if she spent all her detentions with Filch.
Hermione just smiled knowingly but kept quiet. She did not feel like excusing.
"There is one more serious thing that I must know. Did anything that you did not want happen to you during your childhood? Abuse for example," He said slowly while piercing her with his eyes.
"Except for the occasional rape? No, I wouldn't say so," Hermione said seriously. Once again she had caught her professor off guard. He looked truly terrified. She touched his right arm carefully and smiled softly as he looked into her eyes. "I was just joking, professor. I know one is not to joke about such things but what else to joke about in this deadly serious conversation?," she said gently.
Snape still looked sort of amazed and he could not for his life figure out why she had just touched him. Most people feared being in the same room as him, let alone be close him.
"Really. Sir, I was not raped. No, I have never been abused. Most of the time, I am the abusive type rather than the abused one, you see,".
"That seems more likely. Miss Granger, what would make you stop drinking? You know as well as I do that the war is approaching. We certainly do not want to have other issues to deal with then, such as your drinking issue. Therefore I would prefer if we could just solve this problem straight away," Snape said assertively.
"I know. I want to be able not to drink but it's hard," she said honestly. "I've read that there is a potion that you're supposed to take when you feel the urge to drink, you don't happen to have it? Sir," she asked hopefully.
"You Gryffindors, always making your problems someone else's," he replied dryly but there was the slightest hint of amusement in his voice. "I don't happen to have any at the moment and I really do not have the time to brew it, with all your detentions," he said.
"I understand that. I know that students are not allowed to buy all of the contents, that's why I asked you, Sir. What if I brew the potion under your supervision during my detentions. It would only take three days or so to make. Please, Sir. It would really help," she begged.
Snape considered her suggestion for a few moments. He figured that there was no real reason for him not helping her. She was, after all, the brightest student Hogwarts had seen in years.
"I could make an exception. If the potion turns out to be undrinkable, you will not have another shot at it," Snape said.
"Thank you, Sir," Hermione said and smiled at her teacher.
"There is also another question that I want you to answer. You said earlier that you wanted to leave because you have nothing left here. What exactly do you mean by that, Miss Granger?," Snape asked. He was successful in hiding the curiosity from his voice.
"Professor, you know as well as I do that I haven't got any real friends here," she answered and tried to keep the boldness out of her voice.
"Are you tired of being Potter's little sidekick?," Snape said mockingly.
"You bet. Ron and Harry only hang out with me because I help them with their homework. They don't see me as anything else than a bookworm. You see, Sir, that there is no one here I can talk to. It's not like I have someone to share my secrets...," she interrupted herself as she realized what she was saying. Here she was, revealing all about herself, doing exactly what she said she wasn't.
Snape looked at her amusedly. He was surprised at her telling him so much. When he had asked her to reply to his questions he had expected very short answers. Apparently she needed someone to talk to. He was just astonished that he was that person.
"Can I go now?," Hermione asked after a few minutes of silence.
"Yes, Miss Granger. I will see you in class," Snape said while doing his best not to yawn.
"Goodnight, Sir," her soft voice said before leaving the room.
Snape watched her exit and massaged his temples. He really did have a lot on his mind.