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Part 21

Over the next few days, Harm often remained deep in thought, as did Mac. During this time, he swung back and forth between disbelief, anger and thinking about provisions he could make for the future. Many times, he wondered if he should ask about transferring Kim to a hospital Stateside, or even one closer to Indonesia, one which would have better rehab facilities. In the end, he decided that she was holding her own and a flight overseas would be more of a risk, right now.

Mac was wondering what the implications would be, in the long-term. Colonel Grant had told them that any of Kim's systems could be affected by the damage to her brain, including sensory, memory, verbal, motor or perhaps more than one. Or she could show few, very subtle symptoms of impairment, that might not necessarily affect her daily functioning at all. A thought had come to Mac, during one of the long periods of silence.

If Kim awoke with significant deficits to her memory, things could get very uncomfortable, or even distressing. She might not remember who Mac was. She might not remember that Mac was dating her Father. She might not even remember that Mac was not her Mother…But all of these possibilities were much better when faced with the prospect of Kim not recovering well or, God-forbid, not waking up. After he had lost so much in life, Mac knew that Harm would never be the same without his daughter, physically or otherwise.

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Two weeks later…

Even Colonel Grant was pleasantly surprised with the progress that Kim was making. On the day of her eleventh birthday, she could now open her eyes, albeit with a little difficulty, when asked. They were able to remove the breathing tube from her throat, so she was also making noises, but they could not yet be distinguished as actually words. Once assured that she was not moaning because she was in any pain or discomfort, Harm was delighted with this development. Kim's pupils were also behaving normally and she attempted to move her plastered right arm up towards her face, if supra-orbital pressure was applied to either of her eye sockets.

It was too early to say anything for certain, but Colonel Grant indicated that he was very confident of at least a partial recovery.

"I wish I was there, that last time…" Harm mused, the next day, as they were sitting quietly around Kim's bed.

Pamela and James Greene had just stopped by the deliver a gift basket, a teddy bear and balloons for Kim and to offer encouragement to Harm and Mac. Previously they had known that it was too early, that Kim's condition was too precarious to contemplate anything celebratory, though they had come in regularly to support Harm and Mac.

"Huh? At the temple, you mean?" Mac asked, obviously not privy to Harm's inner thoughts, "When she danced the lead role, again?"

Harm nodded, dropping his head into his hands, remembering so many of the times he'd taken Kim along to classes in her first year there, when she was not confident enough to go along on her own, yet.

"She was so excited that she was getting another chance to dance lead. I really thought this was going to be the beginning of something special for her…Instead, she'll probably never be able to dance again…"

"Harm, this wasn't your fault…" Mac reached for his hand.

"Wasn't it?" Harm was upset and wasn't as successful in keeping his voice under control, "I was the one who sent her out of the door, that day, with the weight of everything that happened on her shoulders. No child should have to deal with that! What kind of Father am I?!"

"You are human, you made a mistake," Mac shook her head, "You had no control over the things that happened after she left, that day. But Kim, wherever she is just now, knows you love her and that she is the most important thing in your life…No matter what, she knows that she can always come to you and depend on you…and if you're having a hard time and you don't think that you can manage on your own, you don't even have to ask me. I can be strong enough to help the two of you, when you need it, okay?"

Harm nodded, taking Mac's hand in his, raising it to his, mumbling, "Thank you…I have the feeling that I'm going to have to take you up on that offer many times, before I get my bearings. "

"I'll help you as much as you need me to…But I've been considering a few things, this past week…I've been a little concerned about what may happen, when Kim wakes up."

Harm admired the confidence in Mac's voice. He hadn't quite managed to quiet the little voice in the back of his mind; sometimes he found himself about to say 'if' and not 'when.'

"What will happen, if Kim should wake up with her memory not intact, in some way? It may get a little…"

"Difficult," Harm finished her thought, nodding. He hadn't quite considered things this in depth, but it was immediately clear that Mac was right. What if Kim didn't remember Mac? What if she remembered details and pictures of her mother, but had no recollection of Mac?

"She may get very upset, if she believes that I'm her Mother, only to have us tell her that I'm not. We were so careful, introducing our relationship to her, but she was still disrupted as it was, especially after things got off to a rocky start."

"And in the blink of an eye, we could be back to step one," Mac nodded.

A throat cleared in the still of the room and Harm and Mac turned towards the door, to find Colonel Grant in the doorway.

"I'm sorry to intrude on such a personal moment, but I was hoping I could talk to you about Kim's condition and after what I inadvertently heard, I think that this may be the perfect opportunity."

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