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Becoming Moony: A Difficult Turn

Goddess, but he hated himself sometimes. How had he managed to get himself into such a mess? Sleeping with the damn girl had seemed like a great idea at the time. He had just wanted her to stop bothering him constantly. He had tried everything, making excuses, lying, and doing various inconsiderate things that generally pissed people off. She wouldn't bloody piss off! So what did he do? He went and slept with the stupid bint! And he was supposed to be the intelligent one, wasn't he?

One little mistake and here he was getting married! He knew Sirius and James were up there laughing their asses off at him. Well that was just fine wasn't it? They were all fine and dandy up there and here he was ruining his life. Well, ruining it even more than it already was, because his life was pretty screwy.

"Isn't it exciting? We're getting married! Oh, mother thought this day would never come! And here it is!" squealed the excitable bride.

Dear Lord, thought Remus, please let me make it out alive. I swear I will never do anything wrong or ask for anything ever again! Just don't let her mention…

"And soon, we'll have a baby! Aren't you excited?" Oh, yes, Sirius and James were laughing their rear ends off somewhere.

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Harry was such a brat! He just didn't understand how Remus felt. He shouldn't have to sit at home with a wife he didn't want! He hardly knew what to do with himself!

"Great, I'm turning into an angst ridden teenager again, haven't I already served my time?" murmured Remus, throwing his hands up in the air.

"Remus? What are you talking about?" Remus turned to smile grimly at Nymphadora.

"Nothing. Just…musing. Wondering what's going to happen next?" replied Remus, shrugging. Nymphadora came to stand next to Remus and put her arms around his waist.

Remus sighed and hugged her, Harry was right. He couldn't just abandon Dora and his child! It wasn't in his nature. He sighed and rested his head against the shocking pink hair. He could already feel the small bump that told him exactly why he was still around.

Things were getting so dangerous that Remus didn't even want Dora to step outside for anything. He wished that he could put Dora and the baby in a box and seal it away until he was ready for them both.

"Remus?"

"Hmm?"

"You love me, right?" Oh, dear. How to answer that? He did care for Dora, that was practically a given. She saw past the whole dangerous werewolf bit, had married him of her own free will, and was carrying his child. But he didn't care for her the way he had cared for Sirius. What to say, what to say?

"Remus?"

"Of course I do, Dora. You know that." Well, a little lie wouldn't hurt her. It wouldn't hurt him either. He had seen her hormonal madness and it wasn't pretty. The last time it had happened Ted Tonks and he had run for the hills while Andromeda had sorted her out. It wasn't his fault that the full moon had coincided with her birthday.

"You had better." Remus flinched and turned around, already miserable. Andromeda Black was a very intimidating woman, especially when she was protecting Dora.

"Mum, don't be so mean. Remus is trying. It's just hard, right?" Remus grinned down at her, glad that she was at least on his side for now.

"Dora, why don't you come help me with dinner? I could use the help."

"All right." Dora unwrapped herself from Remus and meandered toward the kitchen.

Remus watched with worry as Andromeda came up to him. She glared down at him; she had no great liking for him. Remus didn't have a great liking for himself at that particular moment in any case.

"If you hurt my baby, I will make sure that you see my cousin a whole lot sooner than you planned."

"Uh, what?"

"Do not pretend that you were not intimately involved with Sirius, don't even think about it. The only reason I haven't ratted you out to my daughter is because of how she feels about you. That is the only reason."

Remus felt his eyes widen and his face drain of all color. "Um, well…"

"Sirius used to owl me you know. While he was still at school he would write to me about the most wonderful boy in the world. How he was so caring, so gentle, and how he made Sirius feel loved. Well, I've met that boy and you, sir, are not him."

Remus had to sit down as he watched Andromeda stalk away from him. What was he doing? He couldn't do this. He couldn't hurt Dora like this!

"Leaving will hurt her worse, Remus, you know that." said Ted Tonks. Great, first he was yelled at and insulted and now he was being guilt tripped into staying. It was not his day today.

"But, I…"

"You don't love my daughter, I know. But, unlike my wife I think you are incredibly caring and brave to stay around something you don't particularly want. To tell you the truth, I wasn't sure about Romy at the time I married her either."

"Thank you. That means a lot."

"I remember Romy talking about Sirius a lot. She said he was her favorite cousin. She always said he had the greatest friends. There was one boy in particular, she said, that made her baby cousin glow. It was a boy who had the most gorgeous eyes and the most caring nature she had ever seen. You."

Remus swallowed hard, this was not the way he wanted things to be. It was too hard on his emotions and nerves.

"I know that this isn't what you want, Remus. Romy knows that as well. That's why she's mad. She thinks that you don't want Dora at all and that all you want is a "quick fix". I know that's not true, you know it's not, and Dora knows it. Just keep doing what you're doing and you'll be fine." Ted patted Remus's knee and stood. Dora appeared in the doorway, motioning towards the dining nook before moving on.

"Just be careful with my baby girl, Remus. It won't take much to hurt her anymore. Sirius meant a lot to her. She remembered him, you know. You might want to consider telling her about the two of you. It will hurt but she'll appreciate it."

"Thank you, Ted. It means a lot to me for you to be so understanding."

"No problem, but don't think that if you hurt her you'll get away with it. I'll make sure you experience something far worse than death.

"Yes, sir."

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Remus looked down at the scrunched up and screaming face below him. This angelic creature couldn't possibly be his. The little boy in Remus's arms screamed louder and waved his little fists, his displeasure evident.

"You aren't supposed to just stare at him you know," said Tonks, wincing in discomfort.

"I can stare at him all I like, Dora. He's far too cute to ignore." Nymphadora smiled and sat up against the pile of pillows. Remus glanced back down at the little face.

"He looks like a true Black, doesn't he?" asked Tonks. Remus nodded, somewhat miserable in the fact that the baby didn't just look like a Black, he looked like Sirius. Black hair, high cheekbones, wide eyes, and a yell that could wake the dead, he was Sirius all over.

Little Teddy whimpered and finally quieted down, lying quietly in his father's arms. Now he knew how his parents felt, mused Remus, he couldn't imagine the pain of having something hurt his little boy. He could finally identify with James in the need to protect and love his tiny child.

Remus leant forward and placed a kiss on Teddy's forehead, smiling as the boy whimpered and curled further into his duck yellow blanket. The movement placed him closer to Remus and he hugged the tiny form to his chest. He would never let anything happen to his baby boy, even if it killed him.

"Teddy Remus Lupin. You're going to be a star. I know it," murmured Remus against the smooth skin.

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He was going to kill the little brat if he didn't stop that infernal screaming. He wasn't ready to deal with this today. The full moon had been last night and it had been a bad one. Moony knew something was wrong with the world. Hell, everyone and everything knew there was something wrong.

Where the hell was Dora? It was her turn to take care of Teddy; he had woken up with him for the last four nights! Remus sat up and noticed a slip of paper lying on the pillow next to him.

Remus, I've had to go up to work for the day. They desperately need the help in sorting things out. Mum has gone to Paris for weekend. Hope this doesn't cause any problems. I'll be home as soon as I can. Love you! Dora.

Forget killing Teddy, he was going to kill Nymphadora and Andromeda for leaving him a newborn after a full moon. He didn't think he could move for all the pain. Teddy's screams got higher and Remus sighed, there was nothing for it. Remus heaved himself up off the bed, wincing at the tearing.

"Shhh, baby. I'm here. Calm down." Remus whispered, picking up his now golden blond baby. The bright sapphire blue eyes blinked up at him, tears rolling down his chubby cheeks.

"Calm down, cub. It's all right." Remus knew Dora would have his head if she knew he had called Teddy 'cub'. She didn't like any reference to the fact that Remus was a werewolf and that her darling baby could have such a horrible genetic flaw. It wasn't that Dora didn't like the fact that Remus was a werewolf; it was the fact that the particular gene could have been passed on to her precious child.

Andromeda seemed to dislike Remus even more now that Teddy had been born. She never spoke to him and always gave him an evil look. He didn't know what he could do to make her like him even a little bit.

She was probably waiting for him to tell Dora about his relationship with Sirius. She was mistaken if she thought he was going to tell Dora before Teddy was old enough to understand. There was a very good chance that Dora would walk out on him when he told her and he didn't want Dora to make stories up. He wanted Teddy to understand why he had left or been left. He didn't want Andromeda or Dora to tell Teddy that he hadn't been wanted and that was why Remus had left. Teddy wasn't going to think that Remus didn't love him.

Teddy had gone silent and Remus looked down to make sure he was okay. The baby was looking up at him with wide eyes. Sirius's eyes, Remus noted. They were pale grey and had a mischievous twinkle; it was if Sirius was looking at him through his baby's eyes. It was a frightening thing, especially since Teddy's hair was seeping into a charcoal black. Remus wished that Teddy wouldn't do that; it was painful enough knowing that he had betrayed Sirius. He didn't want the memories.

As if sensing his father's pain, Teddy scrunched up his nose and his hair went neon lime green. He opened his eyes and Remus was met with bright pink.

"Oh, that's lovely sweetheart. Your mummy will be so proud."

A/N: There it is. Definitely shorter than normal, but I think that it will work out in the end.