It's been exactly 3 and a half weeks since I moved here from LA. I already got a darker tan because I hate being in the same house with Alan and my Prego mother. I stay out late every night with the friends that I made. I really wish I didn't become friends with these particular ones, but they took me under their wing as soon as I walked through the doors of my new high school.

It was kind of weird actually. But it really doesn't matter. They're like a mixture between preps and the people who you hate and don't ever want to talk to or come into contact to. I don't care who I hang out with here, but I just don't want to get too attached to somebody.

Last Friday, Todd drove down here with Abby. He already knew that we were going to break up, so he was pretty cool about it. We're still really good friends and im glad because of that, because he is really an awesome guy. I like him a lot and if I hadn't of moved I would still be going out with him. Abby and him are coming down tomorrow to hang out and we will probably watch the last surf contest that is going on. They said that they're bringing a surprise. I wonder what it is.

Tomorrow is Saturday and I so can't wait for the last period of the day to get over with. Math. The most depressing subject ever. I wish Ab's and Ashley was here with me instead of all these people who don't even know that I exist. After school, im hanging out with my new 'friends', Cindy and Luis. The rest of the group is going to meet up with us later on tonight at the local café that we always go to on Friday night.

Finally the last bell rings and I walk out and into the parking lot and wait by Luis's car. It really isn't all that nice of a car. Its pretty beat up. Looks like he's gotten into a couple of wrecks before and a lot of people were mad at him and took it out on his car. Long story short, he needs a new car and he needs to stop pissing people off.

A couple of minutes passed and they finally show up. They brought Jenny with them. They all are total potheads and alcoholics. Especially Luis and Cindy. I sit next to Cindy in the backseat. She lights up a joint, "What the hell are you doing? You're going to get caught." I tell her as I start to kind of freak out

"Chill Carlin." Luis says up front before he takes a puff

I hear her cough a little as he passes it over to Jenny. I watch her take inhale and then blow smoke out of her mouth and nose. She coughs a little and turns around. "Here." I shake my head

"I'll pass." I say taking my sleeve and covering my nose. This stuff really smells.

"Have you ever tried weed before?" Cindy asks as she takes a puff

No, "Yeah." What? I want to seem cool to them

"Then take some." She puts it up closer to my face

I shake my head, "I don't want too." I push her hand away. I look outside of my window and noticed that we're heading into an alley and we've stopped. "What are we doing?" I look out of the front windshield and I see a guy with a black hoodie on. His hood is up and I can't see his face.

"We'll be right back." I watch Jenny and Luis get out of the car. We are so going to get caught, I can feel it.

I hear Cindy sigh besides me. I look over at her and she starts to giggle. Wow. She looks over at me, "Will you please try it?" She asks again, "its fun. And you won't look so damn depressed. You won't feel a thing." I won't feel like complete shit?

I grab the joint from her and I stick it into my mouth and I inhale deeply. I begin to cough as a lot of smoke comes out of my mouth. Ew. That was nasty. My tongue is burning it feels like. I then hear the doors slam and we're backing up now. "She tried it you guys!" Cindy exclaims and takes another puff

"No way! We didn't see it! You have to do it again!" One more isn't going to hurt is it?

So I do it. And I feel a little better. So I do it again. I hear them laughing at nothing and the only thing running through my mind is, 'what the hell is Ashley going to think?' I take another puff and it's gone. I go to throw it out of the window when Cindy stops me. "What the fuck are you doing?" And she begins into another laughing fit

"I don't know." I join in on it

After we met up with the rest of our group of friends, we all go home. It's around 7 now as I walk through the door. My mom walks up to me and she sniffs me jacket. "Get off." I push past her and down to my room. I finally get the basement for a room. So much more privacy

I get down to my room and I fall onto my bed. I fall asleep quickly and it feels great. I just can't wait till tomorrow when I get to hang out with Abby and Todd. I wake up to my phone ringing. I groan as I pick up, "What." I sigh not even knowing who it is

"Carlin, we still on for tomorrow?" Shit. Tomorrow I have to go with Cindy to this clinic to see if she's pregnant.

"Shit. I totally forgot about that." Cindy is my age and she might be pregnant. Knowing her though, she is because she never uses protection. She told me once. She also said that Luis might be the father. He's a senior. And a total screw-up.

"You've got to be joking. Carlin, you have to come with me! I can't take Jenny!" Jenny. She's a junior. She's probably a little less insane than me. She's not a total screw-up like the other two are. I think that she just moved here too and they took her under their wing too. "She'll tell Luis!"

I groan in frustration, "Fine I'll come. What time?"

"We'll leave around 10."

We say bye and I have to call Abby and Todd now. I call her first and there was no answer. I call Todd, "This better be important, Spencer." He tells me. I look at my clock and its 3 am. Wow.

"Um, what time are you guys coming tomorrow?"

"I don't know. Why?"

"I was just wondering." I pull down my pants and I slip into my sleeping pants. I put him on speaker phone and I take off my shirt.

"Ok. Well you better not have other plans. Tomorrow is going to be a great day. For everyone." I can practically hear him smile. I slip into my wife beater.

I take him off of speaker phone, "Why is tomorrow going to be so great?" I ask getting in under my covers

"You'll see."

I can hear him pee. "That's gross Todd!" I say in a disgusted voice

He laughs, "I had to go!"

We talk for another half hour before I fell asleep on him. I wake up to my alarm clock blaring. I look over at it and its 9:45. I get up and slip into the same jeans as yesterday and I slip into a light jacket. I pull my hair back and put on some makeup and put on my shoes. Im done around 10 when my mom is calling for me.

I run up the stairs and she's here, "Ready Carlin?" I really wonder why she keeps calling me by my last name.

I nod and we head out. We jump into her mom's car. She doesn't even have her permit and she's allowed to take her mom's car out. She really is messed up. I wouldn't even do that.

We pull up to the clinic and we walk in. A lot of girls are here and they are giving every other one a death glare. Im so glad that I don't have to pee on a stick today. If you ask me, that's kind of awkward.

She goes into a room and she's out within 10 minutes. She walks over to me, "Im good." She smiles at me and we walk outside and back into her mom's vehicle.

That didn't take that long. I guess because she was just here to check to see if she was Prego. The other girls were probably there to get an abortion. Poor babies.

We go back to my house and my mom and Alan are already gone. They left me a note telling me that they are out visiting Alan's parents. And that they will be back around 6 tonight. I found out that they live around here. Messed up huh? That's why we moved out here.

We go down to my room and we sit on my bed. "Dude, I could so use a smoke right now." She looks over at me for permission. She pulls out her brand of cigarettes. The smell would go away fast enough right?

She lights one up and then she throws me the box. I stare at it for a second, "Go ahead Carlin. They won't bite." She giggles probably at the thought of a cigarette biting somebody.

I take one out and put it in my mouth. I've watched them so much that I already know how to light one. After the first inhale, I cough. I am so not use to all of this. I inhale deeply again and it burns my tongue. Luis always told me that the third time its better. And it was. It didn't burn as much and I stopped coughing and looking like an idiot.

Im on my second one already when I hear Todd's voice. He's yelling to see if anyone is home. "Shit!" I drop the cigarette onto the floor and stomp it out. Good thing not having carpet down here. "You have to go out the backdoor." I tell Cindy pushing her towards the sliding door I have down here

"Why?" She asks slipping on her jacket

"Um… you just have to go." I push her out of the door and I shut the blinds. I really don't want my real friends to see her. She looks like complete shit.

I start to run into my bathroom but I was stopped when Abby squealed. I turn around and I swallow hard. "Surprise." Ashley smiles at me

Abby runs over to me and hugs me, "It feels like forever since I seen you!" She pulls back, "Why do you smell like a cigarette?" They walk over to me and I swallow hard again. I am so glad it's not the weed

"Really. Are you smoking now, Spence?" Todd leans closer to me and sniffs my jacket

"Um." I shake my head, "I just had a friend over here who smoked down here." I say. It's the truth. See I didn't lie to them

"Gross." Ashley sits down on my bed and I kind of glare at her

"Really it is. I don't see how people can smoke. It's disgusting and so unattractive." Abby lies down next to Ashley

Todd looks at me and I go into the bathroom. I shut the door and lock it. I lean up against it and I sigh. I hear them start to talk, "She is so lying." Abby says in a whisper

"Yeah I know. At least it isn't weed you guys." Todd adds on. Ashley is probably nodding.

I brush my teeth really good and I rinse with mouth wash. I change into my bikini and I slip into my short shorts and a white tank top that I had in the bathroom. I am so lucky that I keep a hamper in here now.

I walk out and they stop talking and stare at me. "Let's go swimming." They all smile at me and agree. I walk over to the sliding door and walk outside and I look back.

"Ok well I have to change." Todd and Abby say fighting for the bathroom

I look at Ashley, "You going to change?" I ask her and she shakes her head

"I already have it on." She smiles as she gets off of my bed. She walks over to me, "Now when do we get to see the hot surfers compete?" She looks my way and laughs a little.

We walk onto the sand and we set up our towels and sit down as we wait for Abby and Todd to come out. This is the perfect chance for me to talk to Ashley. "So, how are you?" I say after a long awkward silence

"Good. You?" She asks staring out into the big blue ocean

"Couldn't be better." Of course I lied! I couldn't tell her that im becoming a screw up!

She looks over at me after another awkward silence, "What do you smoke?" She asks in a low voice

I crinkle my forehead in confusion. I stare out into the ocean instead of looking at her, "I don't smoke anything." I say quietly

"You're lying, Spence. You're flaring your nose." Ok, she is the only one who has ever known when I was lying because I did that. I didn't notice it until she pointed it out.

I look over at her, "Promise you won't tell?" She nods. And I told her everything because I trust her. But I know that as soon as they leave, she will tell them. And why do I still tell her? Because I still love this girl.

But we had to cut our conversation short because Todd and Abby came out. "Race ya." Todd smiled at us and they began running. I smiled over at Ashley as we got up and we started to race for the water.