Wow I was on Sabbatical. Here's the next part, Everyone's a Little Bit Racist, by Avenue Q. Also, the 4 or so songfics I had written were deleted when my brother crashed our computer, which is now in the Salvation Army. Anyway, thanks for the patience.
Zuko:
Say, Katara, can I ask you a question?
Katara:
Sure!
Zuko:
Well, you know Pakku of the Water Tribe upstairs?
Katara:
Uh huh.
Zuko:
Well, he's Water Tribe, and you're Water Tribe.
Katara:
Right.
Zuko:
You're both Water Tribe.
Katara:
Yeah.
Zuko:
Are you two related?
Katara:
What?! Zuko, I'm surprised at you! I find that racist!
Zuko:
Oh, well, I'm sorry! I was just asking!
Katara:
Well, it's a touchy subject.
No, not all Water Tribe people are related.
What are you trying say, huh?
That we all look the same to you?
Huh, huh, huh?
Zuko:
No, no, no, not at all. I'm sorry,
I guess that was a little racist.
Katara:
I should say so. You should be much more
careful when you're talking about the
sensitive subject of race.
Zuko:
Well, look who's talking!
Katara:
What do you mean?
Princeton:
What about that special Water Tribe Healing School you told me about?
Katara:
What about it?
Zuko:
Could someone like me go there?
Katara:
No, we don't want people like you-
Zuko:
You see?!
You're a little bit racist.
Katara:
Well, you're a little bit too.
Zuko:
I guess we're both a little bit racist.
Katara:
Admitting it is not an easy thing to do...
Zuko:
But I guess it's true.
Katara:
Between me and you,
I think
Zuko & Katara:
Everyone's a little bit racist
Sometimes.
Doesn't mean we go
Around committing hate crimes.
Look around and you will find
No one's really color blind.
Sokka: Except Toph.
Toph: pwns Sokka
Maybe it's a fact
We all should face
Everyone makes judgments
Based on race.
Zuko:
Now not big judgments, like who to hire
or who to buy a cup of tea from -
Katara:
No!
Zuko:
No, just little judgments like thinking that Foggy Swamp Tribe members should learn to speak proper English!
Katara:
Right!
Zuko & Katara:
Everyone's a little bit racist
Today.
So, everyone's a little bit racist
Okay!
Ethinic jokes might be uncouth,
But you laugh because
They're based on truth.
Don't take them as
Personal attacks.
Everyone enjoys them -
So relax!
Zuko:
All right, stop me if you've heard this one.
Katara:
Okay!
Zuko:
There's a bison going down and there's only
one safe escape. And there's an Air Monk, a Fire Sage...
Katara:
And an earthbender!
Toph:
Whatchoo talkin' 'bout Katara?
Katara:
Uh...
Toph:
You were telling an earth bender joke!
Zuko:
Well, sure, Toph, but lots of people tell earthbender jokes.
Toph:
I don't.
Zuko:
Well, of course you don't - you're an earthbender!
But I bet you tell non-bender jokes, right?
Toph:
Well, sure I do. Those stupid non-benders!
Zuko:
Now, don't you think that's a little racist?
Toph:
Well, damn, I guess you're right.
Katara:
You're a little bit racist.
Toph:
Well, you're a little bit too.
Zuko:
We're all a little bit racist.
Toph:
I think that I would
Have to agree with you.
Zuko & Katara:
We're glad you do.
Toph:
It's sad but true!
Everyone's a little bit racist -
Okay!
Katara:
Okay!
Zuko:
Okay!
Toph:
Okay!
Bigotry has never been
Exclusively Fire Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaation!
Zuko, Katara, & Toph:
If we all could just admit
That we are racist a little bit,
Even though we all know
That it's wrong,
Maybe it would help us
Get along.
Zuko:
Oh, Holy First Avatar do I feel good.
Toph:
Now there was a fine upstanding earthbender!
Zuko:
Who?
Toph:
The first Avatar.
Katara:
But, Toph, the first Avatar was a waterbender.
Toph:
No, the first Avatar was an earthbender.
Katara:
No, the first Avatar was a waterbender.
Toph:
No, I'm pretty sure that the first Avatar was an earthbender-
Sokka:
Guys, guys...the first Avatar was a girl!
Katara and Toph:
WHAT?!!
Aang:
Hey guys, what are you steaming about?
Toph:
Sexism!
Aang:
Darn it Sokka! You said something stupid, didn't cha?
Meng:
AANG! Come back here!
You take out lecycuraburs!
Zuko:
What's that mean?
Aang:
Um, recyclables.
Hey, don't laugh at her!
How many languages do you speak?
Katara:
Oh, come off it, Aang!
Everyone's a little bit racist.
Aang:
I'm not!
Zuko:
Oh no?
Aang:
Nope!
How many bending-challenged wives
Have you got?
Meng:
What? Aang!
Zuko:
Aang, that phrase is very tender!
The term for them is now non-bender!
Meng:
I know you are no
Intending to be
But calling me bending-challenged -
Offensive to me!
Aang:
I'm sorry, honey, I love you.
Meng:
And I love you.
Aang:
But you're racist, too.
Meng:
Yes, I know.
Earth Kingdom has all
The money
And Fire Nation has all
The power.
And I'm always bothered
With earthbender who no shower!
Zuko:
Me too!
Katara:
Me too!
Toph:
Hey! EARTHBENDER HERE!!!!
All:
Everyone's a little bit racist
It's true.
But everyone is just about
As racist as you!
If we all could just admit
That we are racist a little bit,
And everyone stopped being
So PC
Maybe we could live in -
Harmony!
Meng:
Evlyone's a ritter bit lacist!
Reduce! Reuse! Recycle!
But the most important R is REVIEW! YAY!
The Zutara Critic (back in town, bebe!)
V