Hey! Thanks once again to all my reviewers! The next chapter is probably half way done so it'll be out pretty soon.

Okay, not much to say except thanks to my beta, badbugz once again!

Chapter fourteen- Conversations with Potter

"Not another one....."

Darian blinked in confusion as he swiveled his head around to gaze at his surroundings. He was standing at the front of a long line and a large desk with a man the size of Hagrid sitting in it was in front of him. The man was looking quite frazzled; frankly, his beard looked like a hippogriff had nested in it.

The giant looked oddly familiar and with a start, Darian realized that the large man was the same man from the vision he had had at the beginning of the year with Sirius in. Did that mean he was dead?

Darian stared at the man curiously before realizing that it was the giant that had spoken. He cleared his throat politely.

"Excuse me?" his voice sounded slightly different as it seemed to echo across the vast room and he felt light-headed, as if he were in a dream of some sort.

The giant jumped slightly in surprise, obviously intending to keep that comment to himself.

"Harry Potter I presume?" he repeated in a harassed voice.

Darian nodded unconsciously before his hands flew up to his forehead in confusion. How could the man have known who he was? His scare was hidden wasn't it?

The giant chuckled. "Nothing is hidden in this place, Harry, or should I say Darian Snape?" Darian, feeling slightly dazed, shrugged in response. "Am I dead?" he blurted out.

The man busied himself with scanning over a paper that was as long as Darian's firebolt. "Mistakes are getting more frequent these days...." He muttered to himself as he reached up a large hand to rub his eyes tiredly. "I really need to hire some younger spirits, this is ridiculous...."

Darian shifted uncomfortably, feeling as if he was intruding on something. He nervously looked back behind him at the chattering crowd of............not only humans, but creatures as well. He could easily distinguish a small group of veelas, who were looking quite sour. He shifted again, this time feeling like he was holding up the line. He looked back up when the giant began to speak again.

"Two mistakes in the last.......how long has it been? Three centuries? Horrible...absolutely horrible," he continued to mutter nonsense until he looked back at Darian. "Or maybe it's just this war that is going on...."

"Am I dead?" Darian repeated, sounding slightly impatient.

"Technically, no, you just don't exist," the giant mumbled absently. Darian frowned in confusion; was that even possible?

"Excuse me, sir but we are starting to pile up back there," a blue man with a clipboard said as he ran over to where Darian was standing. He gave a small bow to the giant.

"Is there a problem, sir?"

"No, no, none, just...just....hold on," he snapped impatiently. "You there, Harry Potter-"

"Darian," Darian corrected quietly.

"Whatever," the man mumbled. "Go and.......go wait in that room over there, there's someone that you'll probably be interested in seeing," His voice took on a particularly stern tone and Darian hurried over through a door. This room was quite smaller then the previous. It looked like a muggle bus station with all the benches that crowded the middle and corners of it. Various creatures were waiting patiently for something while reading what looked like, the Daily Prophet, or murmuring incessantly among one another.

There were only a couple of wizards. One in particular caught Darian's eye. The wizard looked to be about twenty to twenty-five and had messy black hair and wire-rim, round glasses that Darien had been so accustomed to in his "previous" life.

It was James Potter.

Darian's eyes widened at the man he had believed to be his father for the last sixteen years. James was also holding a copy of the Daily Prophet. He was sitting on a bench by himself and was facing Darian.

Darian waited with bated breath, as if expecting the man to say something. After a couple minutes, Darian realized that he was getting a strange look from a vampire that was seated in a bench to the left of him. Darian felt himself go red as he slowly made his way over to James's bench, his legs feeling like lead.

James glanced up at him briefly before returning to his paper. All of the sudden, he started chuckling quietly to himself. Darian blinked and froze in place, which was almost directly in front of James.

"Lily is going to have a stroke when she sees you here," James sighed as he shook his head, his laughter quickly fading away.

"Y-you recognize me?"

"Of course I do," James replied airily as he folded his paper and set it down beside him. "You think we haven't been watching you? Lily's been in a panic a few times you know. Worrying about you and all. If she wasn't already dead then I'd say she'd probably die from worry."

Darian felt a twinge of guilt in his heart.

"Well it's not your fault," James said to him as he ran a hand through his messy hair, eyeing Darian up and down.

"Yep, you're Snivellus's child alright, much as I hate to admit it," James sneered. "I need to knock some sense into the idiot's head, he doesn't even realize how good he's got it and he's about to blow it all."

Darian frowned in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"What do I mean?" James repeated incredulously. "I'm talking about you, Harry, he doesn't realize how lucky he is to be able to see you, talk to you, and be there for you. And I bet if he knew how many times I've wished I were in his place then he'd learn to appreciate his time with you more."

"You mean you don't mind that I'm his child? But I thought you hated him."

"You learn to appreciate things more when you are up here," James replied quietly as he stared at Darian before standing up. "Now, let me have a good look at you." He circled around Darian slowly before smirking. "Yep, you are Lily and Snape's son alright. An idiot wouldn't be able to miss it."

Darian automatically reached up a hand to flatten his bangs over his forehead and James smiled. "But you still have Lily's eyes, and her personally, the two best things about her." Darian felt his lips twitch slightly at the man's statement.

"Are you surprised that I'm here?" Darian asked quietly.

"Well, Lily and I have been watching you for quite a while now. I cannot believe that you actually attempted it, Harry," James looked saddened. "Why would you throw something away as precious as life?"

Darian swallowed a rising lump in his throat. He felt horrible, not because of what he had done, but because he was glad that he had done it. He still was.

"You don't know how good you have it either," James said softly and Darian felt anger surge inside him. "Yeah? Well what do you know about my life? You may have watched me grow up but do you know what I've felt for the past fifteen years? Do you know what its like to never know what love is, to only see love from a third person's view?!" It took him a moment to realize that he had been yelling.

James sighed and shook his head. "I know that you have been through a lot but suicide wasn't the answer. Lily about had a heart attack when she saw you do it and you better be glad that she's not down here." He paused for a moment and glanced cautiously to a door at the far end of the room before continuing. "It may seem like there was nothing to live for and it may seem like the easiest thing to do but think of all the things you would be missing."

Darian remained silent as he glared at James.

"You would never grow up, you would never get married, and you would never have children, and watch them grow. Think of it, Harry, think of all the future generations that would never get a chance to even exist because you wanted to take the easy way out."

Darian scowled, "Well I'm never going to get to do any of that stuff anyways."

James arched an eyebrow, "Why not? Just because of that prophecy? It didn't say that you were going to die-"

"But in order to live, I have to become a murderer," Darian interrupted, his voice no louder then a whisper. "I could never kill anyone intentionally."

"You just about did when you tried to kill yourself," James said hotly. "Suicide is exactly like murder, except you are doing it to yourself."

When Darian remained silent James huffed. "Well at least think of your friends and family. If you commit suicide then you have already doomed them. You are the only one who can defeat Voldemort and if you die like this, then you guarantee his victory, you guarantee him the world. Do you want that Harry? Do you want Hermione to be tortured and killed just because she's a muggle-born? Do you want Ron to become a slave for someone like Draco Malfoy?"

Darian closed his eyes briefly as he thought of Ron and Hermione. Hermione....... The image of their smiling faces came into his mind. He winced, he hadn't thought of them before. How could he have been so selfish? He hadn't even thought of what their reaction would have been to his death. He remembered Remus telling him what Ron and Hermione's reaction had been when they had really thought he was dead. He remembered Ron and Hermione's reaction in the Great Hall, after Dumbledore's announcement of 'Harry Potter's' death, even if they had been acting, they had looked absolutely devastated. Would they have been able to deal with his death? Ron was his best friend and Hermione..........she was also very special to him. How could he have not considered their feelings? Was he really that selfish?

"Didn't think of that did you, Harry?" James asked and his gaze softened slightly as Darian turned away.

"So is that why you came down to meet me?" Darian asked in a shaking voice. "To badger me about what I did? Thanks, it really helps a lot."

"Don't talk like that," James made a sour face. "You sound like your father."

Darian sneered.

"You look like him to when you do that."

Darian quickly stopped.

"I didn't come here to badger you, Harry," James explained. "I came here to help you change your decision and to help you realize that what you did wasn't the best decision. You may have had a difficult life. Everyone has their own problems, even if your is more difficult then the average person (Darian snorted), you need to heal and become stronger." He paused to run a hand through his hair. "Much as I hate to say it, there is more to Snive.....Snape that meets the eye."

Darian turned back around, his brows furrowed in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Lets just say that you and Snape have more in common then you might think. Especially when it comes to the childhood you two have had."

"So," Darian began disbelievingly, "you are saying that Snape was abused too?" His voice was laced with shock.

James nodded slowly. "You have more in common then that, Harry." He gave Darian a small smile. "But don't tell him I told you."

"Like he'd believe me," Darian muttered. "How long have you known? About Snape I mean?"

"You learn a lot when you've been up here for as long as I have," James responded. He looked at his watch, which to Darian's surprise, was muggle.

"Your time is almost up. You will be returning soon," James sighed heavily and looked up at Darian. "It has been a real pleasure meeting you again, Harry......Darian." He smiled and gave him a brief hug. "And Lily sends her love. We're both proud of you and we would never blame you for our deaths. So stop blaming yourself."

Darian stood there, frozen in spot. The warmth from James's hug made him feel slightly saddened. In the short time that Darian had spent with his step-father, he had learned that James actually had changed from the cocky, big-headed boy that Darian had seen in Snape's pensive. It made him happy to see that Remus and Sirius had been right, that James had mellowed out and finally matured. He knew from the short time that they had spent together, that had James been alive, they probably would have gotten along rather well. He was actually going to miss that man that he had once called his father.

Numbly, he nodded. James grinned and said, "Tell Snivellus to stop being an ass-hole or Lily and I will give him hell when his time is up." The cocky smile appeared on the man's face, making him look almost like a child once again.

Darian blinked rapidly, feeling hot tears slowly make their way down his cheeks. The smiling face seemed to be fading, everything blurring together, he was going back.......

Voices.......

"I think he's coming to."

Who?

"Darian? Can you here me, honey?"

Oh, it was him. Was he dead?

"He's not responding......"

But....no. He didn't want to be dead.

"Give him some time."

At least not anymore. What about Ron? And Hermione? What would they think if they found out he was dead?

"It's been a week; how much more time could he need?"

It was all his fault......

"He has been in a coma and is very lucky that he isn't dead. Give. Him. Some. Time."

If he hadn't been so selfish.......

"It's my fault. If only I hadn't put so much pressure on him with the prophecy."

NO. He didn't want to be dead.

"It is not your fault, Albus."

He wanted to live. He wanted to defeat Voldemort.

"Thank you, Poppy."

He wanted to go back. HE WANTED TO GO BACK.

Sleepy green eyes slowly opened before closing once again. One eye cautiously peeked open again before the other joined its counterpart.

It was dark but do to his enhanced sight; he could see a couple of silhouettes close to his bed. He strained his ears and could easily make out three distinct sounds of breathing besides his own. Cautiously, he sat up; his back screamed in protest, making him flop back down heavily on the bed.

It was then that he realized that one of the sounds of breathing was considerably faster then that of the other two. He tensed, waiting for the person to make himself or herself known. When they didn't, he grew slightly impatient and sniffed intolerantly through his nose. Instantly, different scents filled his nostrils and his eyes widened at the information the scents seemed to give him. He could easily tell that the three were Remus, Dumbledore, and Madame Pomfrey. It amazed him of how easily he could tell whose scent was whose and he grew slightly interested in this 'new power.' He supposed that being a werewolf did have its perks.

Dumbledore was the one that was awake; he was the one that was breathing faster then the others.

"I see that you, like many others, have found the advantages of being a werewolf?" Dumbledore's amused voice sounded from right where Darian was looking at.

He didn't respond as he tried to get his withered brain to remember what had happened in the Gateway between Heaven and Hell.

Yes. He had met James Potter and they had talked.

Darian shivered, suddenly feeling very cold. The warmth of James's hug lingered for only a few moments, in memory, before fading away. He wrapped his arms around himself.

"I see that you have met one James Potter," Dumbledore commented wisely.

Darian blinked in confusion for a moment before he remembered Occlumency. He scowled and tried to block his mind, without much success.

"Ah, Darian," Dumbledore smiled. "You have nothing to hide from me."

Darian said nothing.

"I noticed that you have realized the consequences of your actions? You have not only almost killed yourself, but also put your father, Remus, Sirius, Poppy, and I in a rather large complication," Dumbledore stated quietly. "And we are not sure what to do about it."

Darian swallowed and looked down at his hands, "Y-you're not going to lock me up are you?" His voice sounded so small, even to his own ears and he saw Dumbledore's gaze soften. "Of course we aren't, Darian. We would never do something as cruel as that." The old man paused for a moment. "But we do need to do something about this. You have just lost the trust of many people, Darian and even though I am sure that you have learnt your lesson, no one is going to trust you alone anymore. I hope you realize that."

"Do Ron and Hermione know?" Darian whispered softly. Dumbledore looked at him for a couple of moments. "I'm afraid so," he finally muttered.

Darian's eyes widened and he felt fury wash over him. "Why? Why did you tell them? If I wanted them to know then it was my business and decision to do so."

"Calm down, child," Dumbledore chided quietly. "We did not nor would we ever tell them anything without your consent. Miss Granger and Mr. Weasley were apparently very worried about your sudden placement in the Hospital Wing so they took it upon themselves to sneak in here a couple nights ago." Dumbledore's lips twitched. "You have some very good friends, Darian."

"I know," Darian mumbled as he stared down at his hands guiltily.

Dumbledore put a hand on his shoulder. "Relax, Darian. You have made a mistake, as do we all, and you have learned from that mistake, which is the most important part of it all."

Darian nodded hesitantly, all of the sudden wanting to see Hermione.

"Your father has been very worried," Dumbledore commented idly, brushing some invisible dust off the sleeve of his robes. He glanced over at Darian's interested expression. "No he hasn't," the boy replied. "You're just saying that to make me forgive him for what he said."

"I am not asking you to forgive him. What Severus said was vicious and cruel, he had absolutely no right to say that and I am sure that he feels very guilty for doing so but he hasn't had very much love in his life, not since Lily died," Dumbledore's gaze saddened. "Severus had nothing left after she passed away and there were many times where he had attempted what you just did," he eyed Darian, waiting for his reaction.

"He.......tried to kill himself?"

"I'm afraid so and that wouldn't have been the first time, though that is not my story to share. I fear that had I not been there, he probably would have succeeded in doing so."

Darian stared at Dumbledore. He thought of Snape, sneering and spitting words that dripped with venom, hatred reflecting in those cold black eyes, loathing etched on his face. It seemed impossible that someone that stubborn, that...........headstrong could even possibly be weak and stupid enough to try what Darian had. But then he remembered back to when he had looked into Snape's pensive and when he had accidentally seen some of Snape's memories. The man had had such a bad childhood, he had been clearly unpopular and hated my most of the student population and his parents had fought with each other many times. Darian's heart gave a twinge as he remembered the small child crying in a corner while his father yelled at his cowering mother. It seemed impossible to think that that same child would grow into a ruthless, cold-hearted man who hated almost any child, even his own.

Darian's pain must have reflected on his face as Dumbledore put a hand on his shoulder.

"You both are more alike then you thought."

He swallowed and blinked rapidly before saying quietly, "So you did come here to get me to forgive him?"

"I am merely stating the truth, which was that he was worried about you. Get some rest, Darian," Dumbledore said before giving his shoulder a small squeeze and leaving the Hospital Wing.

Darian stared after his retreating back for a couple of moments, trying to comprehend what Dumbledore had just said. Snape......worried about him? The thought seemed impossible, more then impossible; it sounded absolutely insane. But even Snape had to have a heart right? Of course he did and even the coldest people, like Snape, would have to feel guilty if they had said something horrible like that to their child.

Still, Darian thought of Snape's words. You are nothing special. The hatred and venom that were twisted into them, the absolute loathing in those eyes, the look of fury on his face....... Snape had meant it, Darian knew that. Snape had meant every word that he had said maybe just not in the way he said it.

But that didn't make sense either.

Darian huffed, reaching a hand up to massage his forehead, which was aching. He really didn't want to think about Snape, at least not right at this moment. He needed to relax and stop thinking for once. Darian adjusted himself before closing his eyes and falling asleep instantly.

Snape poured himself another glass of whiskey, downing the glass entirely as soon as he set the now empty bottle down. This would be the fifth time he had drank himself into a stupor since Darian had fallen into a coma by means of trying to commit suicide.

And it was all his fault.

He had done that to his son; he had driven his son to suicide. It was his fault.

He had visited his son at least two times a day. Well, not really visiting but at times, before lunch or after dinner, Severus would find himself standing helplessly in the doorway of the Hospital Wing, staring at the unmoving, pale form as if expecting, hoping to see those green eyes open up once again, to see them filled with life instead of the blank emptiness they had retained since that day. Maybe he cared, or maybe it was because he wanted to assure himself that he hadn't driven someone to suicide; to assure himself that he wasn't responsible for yet another death. Whatever the cause, he wanted the boy to live, for him to be alive, to see his eyes open again, to see him moving and full of life once again. And he'd try this time to, he'd try to be at least civil to this boy, he'd try. If not because he cared, then to rid himself of the plaguing guilt that weighed heavily upon his conscience.

Snape blinked, reaching a hand up to rub his eyes tiredly before realizing that he was standing in front of the Hospital Wing.....again. He scowled and turned to go back to the comfort of his dungeons but something in the back of his mind was nagging at him to stay, to go inside and see the boy. It was the same feeling as that day in the Hospital Wing, when Poppy had been screaming at him. Still scowling, he regretfully walked into the sterile room.

His eyes immediately scoured the room for the familiar pale form of his son. He spotted the boy in his usual bed with the curtains wide-open, allowing sunshine to pour freely into the room. Snape blinked again, reaching up a hand to block the blinding sunlight. It was morning already? Then what did that make today? Sunday? Saturday? Hell he didn't know and frankly, he really didn't care either.

Darian was curled into a small ball, his knees drawn up to his chest with his arms wrapped tightly around them. Snape crept silently down and sat in a chair beside the boy's bed. He stared absently at Darian for a few minutes before the boy groaned and stirred. Snape watched him curiously. Strange. The boy hadn't moved in his sleep before.

Seconds later, Darian's eyes fluttered open and he yawned as he made to stretch, only to immediately stop with a grimace of pain. Snape about jumped out of his skin.

"You're awake," was all he said, to surprised to say anything else. Darian blinked to clear his vision and shrank back a little away from Snape.

"Er....yeah?" the statement came out as more of a question as he eyed the man before him cautiously.

There was an uncomfortable silence as both tried to avoid looking at the other. Finally, Snape stood and cleared his throat slightly. "Well.....I should inform Poppy and the headmaster..."

"They already know," Darian blurted out before realizing that he had missed his chance to get rid of Snape. He immediately shut his mouth with an audible snap.

Snape arched an eyebrow in surprise.

"I....er...woke up last night."

"Oh..."

Another silence followed and Snape made to go to the door before surprising himself by sitting back down. Darian was also surprised, not only by the fact that Snape hadn't blown up on him, but also because the man was still here. Darian had thought that Snape hated him and couldn't stand to be around him anymore.

"Why did you do it?" Snape asked before he could bite his tongue. He had to know. He had to know if it was his fault that Darian had almost killed himself, he had to. He quickly found himself looking into those familiar emerald eyes that were staring at him with caution. Caution......fear.....fear of being shouted at again; fear of being hit, mentally and physically, of hearing once again that he was nothing but a worthless waste of space. Snape couldn't stand that look in those green eyes. He suddenly wanted to go, to stand up and run away from those green eyes, laced with fear and pain. Heh. Run. He was nothing but a coward....

Darian swallowed the rising lump in his throat before saying in a raspy voice, "I....I've been wanting to for...for years... It just seemed like a good idea at the moment," he caught himself; he had no idea why he had told Snape, of all people, that. But it felt good; it felt good to tell someone that he had been longing to do that for years, even if it was Snape. It made him feel less guilty and less....insane.

Snape stared at the boy. He had been wanting to kill himself for years? But, no, that is impossible. He is Harry Potter. He is loved and cherished by all; he has friends who love him. Snape avoided the green eyes that were staring curiously at his troubled expression; he instead looked at his hands as he uttered one word,

"Why?"

Darian shook his head slowly. "You wouldn't understand," he said, his voice barely above that of a whisper.

Snape narrowed his eyes, feeling the old annoyance rise up. "Try me," he commanded in a not-so-pleasant-voice.

The boy seemed to whither under his harsh glare. Darian remembered what James had told him about Snape, that the man had tried to commit suicide also.

Maybe Snape did know what it felt like; maybe he did understand.

"I...." He began, but faltered as Hermione's face suddenly popped into his mind. "I.....want to see Hermione," he finished lamely and Snape scowled at him before standing up quickly.

"Fine, Mr. Snape," he snapped. "Whatever you want," his voice was dripping with venom and sarcasm as he glared down at Darian, who seemed to shrink back into the bed. He swept over to the door to the Hospital Wing before adding snidely, "I don't know why I even bothered."

Darian stared after his retreated back with a mortified expression. Okay, now he knew that this was his fault. It had been obvious that Snape was trying to be civil or even comforting and he, Darian, just had to go and mess that up by changing the subject. But it's not your fault said a tiny voice in the back of his head. You don't have to tell him everything and you really wanted to see Hermione. It wasn't as if you were lying or anything. Darian didn't know whether to agree or disagree with the voice. He decided on both. Maybe he shouldn't have changed the subject so bluntly but he didn't have to tell Snape anything if he didn't want to, right? Right? Right. And with that thought, Darian flung himself back down onto his bed, closing his eyes though not falling asleep. His jumbled thoughts seemed to keep him awake, plus he was hungry and there is no way that someone can sleep with an empty stomach and a full mind, as quoted from a book called Charlotte's Web that he had read when he was younger.

Instead, Darian tried on merely closing his eyes and focusing on seeing Hermione.

&&&&&&&&&&&

Unknown by Darian, Snape was pacing furiously right outside the Hospital Wing door, also trying to make sense of his own jumbled up thoughts.

Snape stopped his pacing and sighed softly before leaning up against the Wing door and slowly sliding down to sitting position, reaching his hands up to rub his eyes tiredly. Why did he always have to screw things up? Just because the boy didn't want to talk about the abuse he had suffered didn't give he, Severus, a right to snap at him. Why couldn't he just forget about the hatred he held for the boy for just one minute? Why? Was he cursed? Was this his punishment for all the sins he had committed?

Needless to say, he was going to need to open another bottle of whiskey.