Thanks once again to all of my reviewers! You really make writing this worth while!
And thanks, of course, to my faithful beta reader, Badbugz! I'm really happy right now with the direction this story is going, and for those who are awaiting the sequel to 'The Secret', dont despire I AM working on it!
Chapter twenty five- What Matters Most
"How was the full moon?" Hermione asked nervously the next day at his bedside.
Darian shrugged, trying to look nonchalant. "Painful, tiring, and cold."
Hermione laughed. "I heard you and Remus almost got a case of hypothermia," she questioned, concerned. "What happened?"
"Sirius was an idiot and he threw us in a river."
"Why?"
"We wondered off too far and Remus and I were falling asleep so he thought it would wake us up," Darian explained in an annoyed tone. He had spent the whole day yesterday and most of the night with endless tissues and hacking coughs. His throat was quite sore now.
His father (Darian felt a tentative warmth at the thought of the man) had stayed until he had fallen asleep in the early afternoon yesterday before visiting once more that night.
It was an amazing feeling, knowing that his father actually wanted to be with him. However, there were some moments the day before when he felt that it was far too good to be true. At any moment, he feared the man would forget about him just as easily.
Severus had told him of each dream he had experienced ranging from the four year-old version of him (Darian felt a sharp pain in his heart) to the Death Eater him. He could understand why Severus had wanted the dreams so much after the first one of the little boy, though it had pained him to admit that he was sure the young boy was probably much better company then he was, a sixteen year-old who practically had a death warrant stamped to his back.
"I brought something that might cheer you up," Hermione said, smiling as she turned to dig in her bag.
"Hermione," he began. "You really shouldn't have-"
He broke off when she pulled out a stack of papers. "Homework," she announced, setting it on his lap. "Now doesn't that just cheer you up?" she asked, putting her hands on her hips and gazing at the stack with a kind of fierce pride.
Darian snorted, shaking his head. "Same old Hermione," he murmured.
"Of course," Hermione said matter-of-factly. "You are a Ravenclaw now and you have a reputation to protect."
Darian laughed and Hermione explained each assignment thoroughly before asking if he'd need any help. He declined it, knowing that it was just review until Christmas break.
"I would appreciate the company though," he said, smiling.
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Fine, but don't expect me to be doing your work."
"I wouldn't dream of it, 'Mione."
"By the way, Ron sends his love," Hermione said, picking an invisible piece of lent off her wool skirt.
Darian smiled in amusement. "In those particular words?"
"Well…no…more like something along the lines of 'Yeah, yeah, whatever' when I tried to wake him up to see you." She smiled faintly. "It is Saturday after all."
"Has he asked?" Darian asked cautiously, suddenly serious.
"About your absences? Of course."
"And?"
"I just say you are sick again."
"And he believes it?"
"Hey, there was a time when you were that thick once too, remember?"
"Unfortunately," Darian muttered, wincing.
Hermione smiled. "But thankfully, you are finally past that stage. I daresay it will take Ron a good while more before he could reach your level of maturity."
Darian shrugged. "Well, I have been through more then the average teenager."
"Yes," Hermione leaned back, twirling a lock of brown hair around a finger. Then, grinning wickedly, she added, "However, it is sad that despite all you've been through, in some ways you aren't even close to the level of maturity that girls our age have."
Darian arched an eyebrow. "You are not serious. Lavender and Parvati, Hermione?"
She laughed. "Well….most girls."
"Oy, what about girls?" a grumpy voice said.
Ron appeared in the doorway, nursing a buttered piece of toast with his hair still disheveled.
Darian smiled faintly. "Nothing much, just comparing your level of maturity to girls in our year."
"I don't appreciate being talked about behind my back," Ron said in mock-anger. He turned to Hermione. "Why would you wake me up at this insane hour?"
"Ron, its eleven thirty," Hermione said pointedly.
"It's Saturday!" Ron snarled back. "Why couldn't you visit Darian later at say, one or two?" He threw himself into a chair on the other side of Darian's bed. "You didn't have to wake me up either," he grumbled, arms folded. "I would've visited him on my own time."
"Then why did you come?" Hermione asked, amused.
"Couldn't get back to sleep, thanks to you!" Ron snapped. "What if I didn't want to visit him so early?"
"Well, its nice to know I'm loved," Darian said serenely.
"No offence, mate, but I was going to visit-" Ron broke off, staring at Darian. "Your eyes!"
Darian paled, feeling the object of Ron's attention widen. Hermione bit her lip nervously.
"Why are your eyes amber?"
Darian reached a hand up as if to touch his eyes. He looked over at Hermione, making a quick decision.
"Ron….there's something I need to tell you," he began, not understanding why he felt nervous. Ron would certainly understand. Remus was a werewolf, after all, and Ron didn't hate him.
"You're a werewolf, aren't you?" Ron asked suddenly.
Darian and Hermione exchanged glances. "How did you-"
"Know?" Ron finished, sitting back. "Well…Remus did assign us an essay a few weeks ago and Hermione wasn't there to do it…I mean…help me with it." He blushed. "She said she was taking a walk with you. That was the night of the full moon wasn't it?"
"Yes," Darian whispered, shooting a look at Hermione, who looked a little pleased by the fact that Ron had done his homework without her help.
"What'd you make on it?" she asked excitedly, momentarily forgetting the situation.
Ron smirked victoriously. "An 'O'," he announced in a proud voice.
"Oh, Ron, that's wonderful!"
Darian was looking at Ron expectantly and the redhead shrugged. "I just did the math. At first I wasn't sure but Hermione did tell us how she found out about Remus in our third year and you fit all the descriptions so…"
Hermione was smiling at Ron proudly and Darian felt a pang of jealousy.
"How long have you known?" he asked, breaking Hermione's beam.
"Since the last full moon," Ron answered, narrowing his eyes at Darian. "Why didn't you tell me, mate? You know I would never-"
"I know," Darian murmured, looking at his hands with renewed interest. "It was just….the fewer people who know, the better."
"But you know I wouldn't have told anyone." Ron paused. "You told Hermione so why didn't you tell me?" he asked, a little hurt.
Darian swallowed. "It was a mistake for her to find out," he said honestly, looking back up at Ron. "I wasn't going to tell anyone until I had finally gotten adjusted to the whole situation."
"And have you?"
Darian smiled weakly. "It's getting better. Remus and I haven't fought as much."
There was a long silence as Darian and Ron stared at each other while Hermione glanced between the two nervously, hoping there wouldn't be a repeat of their fourth year.
Finally, Ron allowed a slow smile to spread across his face. "Good," he said. "That's good."
Hermione grinned happily.
"When's the next full moon?"
Darian shifted, feeling his spirits drop drastically. "Christmas Eve," he murmured softly.
Hermione put an arm around him. "Are you going to your father's?"
A shrug. "I don't know," he said truthfully. In the back of his mind he hoped, more then anything, his father would invite him over for the holidays. It would be interesting to spend time with a real family.
"I'm sure he'd be glad to have you," Hermione said softly, having heard from Darian about what Snape had said the night before.
Darian looked down. "I hope so."
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Severus awoke with a pounding head and he wondering, briefly, exactly what Potter and Black had been drinking last night that he had had the insane urge to try as well…
He groaned, feeling very nauseous. Merlin. If he felt this terrible from one drink, he could only imagine how Lily, who was terrible at holding her drink, was faring. He brought a hand up to his forehead, surprised to feel something wet.
Severus blinked his eyes open to look at the gray clouds that bellowed overhead. He felt a flush of embarrassment. Had he passed out here? He had no memory of this at all. He hadn't had a damn hangover since Harry was born, and where was Lily? Surely she wouldn't just leave him. He rubbed the wet substance between his fingers, testing the texture before bringing it up to his face to see.
It was blood.
Instantly, Severus shot awake, ignoring the pain that erupted at the movement. His eyes darted around to see a black wall of Death Eaters that surrounded him. Panic erupted in his chest and he felt his heart thud uncontrollably, his eyes frantically searching for any sign of his wife and son.
"Severus, my old friend, it is nice to see you awake at last," a cold voice hissed from behind him. Severus froze for a pain-staking moment before slowly turning around to meet the Dark Lord's scarlet eyes. A shiver of fear coursed through him.
He somehow found the strength to stand and demand, with more courage that he possessed, "Where is Lily and Harry? What have you done with them!"
Lord Voldemort chuckled, a horrible sound that made Severus's insides turn to ice. "Ah, Severus, you do know me too well."
Severus swallowed, his eyes darting through the endless sea of black in an attempt to spot a certain redhead.
"I am sure," the monster continued, "that you know exactly how I deal with my traitors, do you not?"
Severus froze, his brain skidding to a stop and he slowly turned to meet the red gaze.
"Where are they?" he asked again in a trembling voice.
"Not to worry, Severus," Voldemort said lightly. "They are alive and well…for the moment. Would you like to see them?"
Severus didn't move. He knew this somehow had to be a trick.
Voldemort smirked at his silence. "Look down there, my dear Potions Master, and see just how cruel muggles can truly be!"
Severus blinked in confusion. Muggles? What did they have to do with it? But as his eyes traveled to where the wall of Death Eaters had parted for him to see, he felt his confusion melt into horror.
Below the hill they were currently on, there was a muggle town and by the looks of it, the town hadn't modernized nearly as much as London had. He saw no phone lines or any electric items that could suggest otherwise. In fact, from what he could see, the men and women were wearing very old-fashioned clothing.
Every person from the town seemed to be standing in an assembly around a bound Lily and Harry. They were both tied to a stake.
Severus felt his heart plummet. "No," he whispered hoarsely, "they don't do that anymore!"
Voldemort tutted. "I was very lucky to find this village, Severus. Now you can witness exactly of what I am trying to rid the world."
One of the muggles was speaking something in a loud, powerful voice that Severus couldn't make out. The man lit a torch and waved it mockingly in front of Lily and Harry. The crowd jeered in approval.
The Death Eaters were watching it with interest, as was Voldemort. Severus took that opportunity to try and break through the crowd to get to Lily and Harry, but was grabbed roughly around his waist.
"You're not going anywhere, Severus," a drawling voice hissed in his ear. "The Dark Lord was kind enough to provide you with entertainment and you would do well to enjoy it."
Severus took in a shuddering breath as the crowd continued to scream like a pack of hungry wolves and he tried, unsuccessfully, to break Malfoy's hold.
"No…" he whispered thinly as the muggle threw the torch onto the hay and wood surrounding his family. He thrashed frantically as it ignited, eating up the fuel quickly. "NO!" he screamed, desperately clawing, kicking, and biting any part of Malfoy he could get, doing anything, anything that was humanly possible to reach his wife and son. "Stop them!" he begged to the Dark Lord. "I'll do anything!"
"Stupefy him, Lucius," Voldemort hissed, not taking his eyes from the burning stake.
But Lucius didn't bother to stun him as Severus dropped to the ground, clamping his hands over his ears, trying desperately to block out any sound.
Nothing could have prevented him from hearing Lily and Harry's screams as they were burned alive. Severus felt something inside of him explode as he let out a howl of pure, undulated agony.
His wife and son's screams echoed through his ears, shrill and pain-filled, until they died away. Their screaming gave way to the smell of burnt flesh slowly drifting to them. Severus curled into a fetal position, feeling a dam within him burst as choking sobs consumed him, hot tears pouring down his cheeks.
"Do you hate muggles now, Severus?" Voldemort hissed mockingly in his ear.
He dimly heard the sound of the muggles' cheers, matched with those of the Death Eaters as he slowly rocked himself back and forth.
"Pathetic," he heard the Dark Lord hiss in disgust. "You could have been great, Severus, but you had to wed that mudblood and care for your half-breed son, didn't you?"
Severus was silent, lost in his agony.
"Shame, really," Voldemort mused, circling him slowly. "I really could have used an heir..."
Severus felt pure rage build within him. His chest burned terribly and his vision tunneled as a red haze blocked his sight. All he knew was that he wanted to cause as much pain as possible to the monster who had taken his family from him.
"…and I'm sure that mudblood would have been a nice fuck. She always was the vivacious one…"
With a roar of insane rage with no reasoning or logical understanding of what exactly he was doing, Severus leapt at the Dark Lord. He hit the monster as hard as he could and felt his fist crack under the pressure.
Instantly, he felt someone grab him as he kicked. He screamed in a maddening fury like a wild animal as he tried to break free, to do more damage…to kill…
His vision cleared slightly and he saw that Voldemort was staring at him with fascination, as if studying a rare species. There was not a mark on the Dark Lord's face, though Severus had hit with all of his strength.
It occurred to him that the world was doomed.
The last thought that crossed his mind was oddly comforting; he would soon be with Lily and Harry. A flash of green burned his eyes and he felt himself go limp as his life flashed before his eyes….
&&&&&&&&&&
Severus jerked awake, the texture of the cool wood of his desk he was resting his head on feeling as real as the force of the green curse that had engulfed his body. He sat up, swallowing and blinking sleep from his eyes. Instantly, his classroom came into focus, along with two dozen pairs of eyes staring at him curiously. Toward the back, he could see Darian looking at him in slight concern.
"Professor?" Hermione Granger asked tentatively from her place beside Darian. "You…er…fell asleep, sir."
"I am well aware of that, Miss Granger!" Severus snapped, unable to shake the paranoia he was currently feeling. He glanced around at each student as if to access a threat. Darian arched an eyebrow when he met his gaze.
Severus slowly sat up, feeling shame creep up on him. He had fallen asleep in the middle of the day! And in Darian's class no less! Not only was this highly embarrassing, but it was getting rather serious as well. He had no memory of even drifting off. The last thing he remembered was grading papers while the students finished their potions…
"What are you all staring at?" he barked. "Get back to work or you shall find yourselves in detention redoing the potion!"
That spurred the students to turn quickly back to their cauldrons and Severus sighed as the comforting sounds of bubbling potions and aimless stirring broke the awkward silence. He reached a hand up to massage his forehead before glancing at the clock. Thank Merlin, only ten minutes left of this damn class and his day was finished.
'Thank God for Fridays,' Severus thought contentedly, returning to grading his first year's essays.
When the bell blessedly rang, no one was finished with their potion, not even Granger, and Severus assigned them a two foot essay on it instead. It occurred to him just how much time had been spent watching him sleep instead of brewing potions. Damn brats…
Severus sighed, stacking his graded essays neatly and placing them in a drawer.
"Professor?" a nervous voice asked.
He looked up to meet Darian's (charmed) emerald eyes, and waited for the boy to continue.
Darian shifted his weight uncomfortably. "Did…did you have another dream?" He was tense, as if waiting to be yelled at.
Severus turned his back to the boy, erasing the ingredient on the board the muggle way (though he had no idea why they even had erasers and chalk) to occupy himself.
"I did," he answered evenly, watching his son out of his peripheral vision.
Darian's expression dropped. "Oh," he replied blandly.
"I don't wish to have them," Severus said, when Darian turned to leave.
"Why not?" he asked, pausing halfway so his body was still facing the door.
"They are not all good, you know," Severus told him softly.
Darian arched an eyebrow, silently asking him to elaborate.
"Well," Severus struggled to begin. He really wasn't used to sharing something as personal as this with another. "After I had two dreams, I had one of you being a Death Eater."
Darian's eyes widened. "Me? But…but I'd never-"
"You never would, but obviously he did," Severus corrected, pretending to sort some papers on his desk.
Darian was silent.
"I had a dream of you dying in the final battle."
"Are you sure that's not the future?" Darian asked, grinning lopsidedly.
Severus pinned him with a glare that made the boy's grin fade. "Do not talk like that," he said in a deadly serious voice.
Darian stared at him in confusion, but slowly nodded.
Severus hesitated, not wanted to talk about his recent dream, which was still raw on his mind. He turned to stare into Darian's eyes for a moment.
"The dream I had today was of you and…and Lily being burned at a stake in a muggle town while I was forced to watch," he said quickly, hating his voice for breaking off at the end. He could clearly remember the feeling of helplessness that had washed over him as he had watched his son and wife struggle, screaming as the flames engulfed their body….
He was startled out of his thoughts by a gentle touch on his arm and his eyes shot up to Darian, who had tentatively laid a hand on his forearm. The boy drew back quickly and avoided his eyes, looking embarrassed.
Severus felt an unfamiliar upturn of his lips as he marveled at the feeling of someone actually caring about him, cared about how he was feeling, cared if he was hurting…
He thought back to each of the dream he had had and realized, with a start, that he didn't want these dreams. Not any of them, not even the good ones with the younger Darian. The idea that that wonderful reality could morph into someplace where Darian was also dead…
"You really don't want them, do you?" Darian whispered, sensing his thoughts.
'Werewolf…' Severus thought idly.
"No," he finally admitted. "I have….realized that I am happy here with what I have."
Darian smiled slightly.
"Do you know how to stop them?"
Severus recalled Dumbledore's earlier words of 'appreciating' the life he had in order for them to go away. "No, I don't."
"Not even Occlumency would help?"
He shook his head. "I don't know if they will stop."
"Nothing lasts forever," Darian reminded him.
"Some things do."
"Like what?"
Severus opened his mouth to say something, but decided against it. He turned away, shoving the papers on his desk into a drawer.
"There are certain things that may not seem like they last, but they do."
"I don't think anything lasts forever," Darian said quietly.
"What about family? Or certain friendships?"
Darian smiled faintly. "Sooner or later, those family and friends are going to die."
Severus looked up at him sharply. "Do you always look at the negative side of things?"
Darian shrugged. "Can't help it. Its always been like that for me." He lifted his bag. "I always thought that was my gift: to look at anything that shines and find tarnish in it."
"Doesn't it ever get depressing?"
Darian shrugged again but didn't answer.
"I have to go to my next class, sir."
Severus nodded. "You'd best be off then."
A/N- Next chapter...the awaited Hermione/Darian scene! Thanks to everyone who has been so patient, but if anyone's read 'The Secret,' then they'll know I'm not that good at romance but I hope I'm at least decent.
R&R