Ianto picked up the coffees and walked to the archives. Once he got there, he opened the door to the research room. He immediately regretted he had done so.
How could this happen? He dropped the mugs and ran away. What had he done wrong? He felt angry, not at Jack at himself. He must have done something wrong. Why would Jack have done such a thing?
He got in his car and went to his apartment. While he was driving he could barely focus on the road and nearly crashed the car into a tree.
Once he got home, he let it all go. The feelings he'd been hiding for all those years. The hate he had felt so many years ago. He remembered how much he hated himself. For accepting the job of a tea boy despite all his qualifications. For trusting someone and getting betrayed, and even more for letting it happen a second time.
Tears ran across his face. He took the photograph before him and ripped it in half. He wasn't worthy of having memories. He wasn't even worthy of life.
The cool breeze swept across his face. Why had it come to this, yet again? He looked around. Hundreds of lit buildings, full of people. Full of lies.
"Humans" they call themselves. Nothing more than a bunch of naked apes without a conscience. They cheat on themselves, they try so desperately to hold on to their ideals, but betray them without a second thought the minute someone comes along and promises them enough money to pretend that they're happy.
They are raised to work and to buy. To take and take some more. They think that the next thing they'll buy will finally make them happy, but forget that they sacrificed their happiness to get the money for their next purchase.
They pretend that their grief is caused by change and fool themselves into thinking it all used to be better.
They cheat on each other by pretending that they care about anyone but themselves.
They pretend to think, but only copy what the person before them says.
They shed all their dreams and creativity, become nothing more than a machine, and call that "growing up." What is wrong with their childhood dreams?
What is wrong with thinking?
He didn't want to be part of this bunch of degenerate mammals.
He walked towards the edge.
He wondered what the reactions would be. They'd probably try to free themselves of their guilt.
"Well, he could have talked to us about his problems. We can't read minds or anything." And with that thought, their gilt disappeared.
He wished he could do that. But his guilt stayed. It festered and consumed him. He always felt guilty. He wanted it to stop.
He looked over the edge, into the abyss that lay before him.
A fine night for a suicide.
"Ianto, what do you think you're doing?!"
The voice of the greatest traitor of them all made him turn.
"If it isn't our dear Harkness. And what explanation do you have? Wait, let me guess. She jumped on top of you and you were trying to get her off you, when suddenly you shirt and trousers popped open?"
"Ianto, calm down. This isn't going to help. Just move away from the ledge."
"Oh, yeah. I forgot. You're the person that decides if someone gets to live. You walk through this city like you own it; you make random decisions about people's lives, and all of that while you're immortal. You act like that gives you the authority to do so. Who made you God's personal assistant?! Go bugger off and feel sorry for yourself because you can't die!"
"Ianto, I mean it. Calm down or I'll jump with you!"
"Now I'm impressed. Mr. Immortal's going to throw himself of a building."
"What's gotten into you?! Get away from that ledge!"
"What's gotten into me? Let's see. I've spent half my life working for an organization that thinks that they own the world and everything beyond it. As the tea boy! Cleaning up after a bunch of morons too stupid to realize what they're feeling! I finally find some one that I trust; I tell him my deepest secrets. I tell him about what happened all those years ago, what I shut out. Just so he could know how important he is to me. And what does the bastard do? He has a quick shag with an engaged women he secretly loves!"
"I'm sorry Ianto, but that's not what happened. The devices –"
"Yeah, do what you always do. Find some explanation. Pretend like the entire world is organized around making sure your life is miserable. Pretend that everything just happens by accident."
"Ianto! It wasn't me, the devices; they're some kind of alien sex toy. The two people who hold it are immediately attracted to one another."
"Oh! Now I get it! It were the machines! Poor, poor Harkness." Ianto said with the sound of disgust in his voice. "But answer this; do you honestly feel nothing for her?"
"Ianto, all I care about is you."
"All you care about is yourself! You're vain enough to think that you could ever be capable of actually loving someone. All you can do is hang around until your next conquest comes along."
He'd had enough of this. He turned back to the road and stepped forward.
"Harkness, let go of me!" Jack was holding him back and gave him a hug.
"Poor boy, I know you're upset, but there's no reason to do this."
"YOU BETRAYED ME, HARKNESS! I'VE GOT EVERY REASON TO DO THIS!" he kicked and screamed, but Jack only held him tighter.
"I know, I know. It's all my fault. I'm sorry. I'll make it all up to you." Jack was telling the truth, but Ianto was too upset to listen to him.
"LET ME GO! I'LL JUST DRAG YOU WITH ME!" Ianto kept screaming and kicking. He tried to get back to the edge, but Jack was too strong.
Jack had never felt so guilty. He had let Ianto down; he knew that Ianto had a lot of trust issues. He should've waited until Toshiko had arrived so she could've scanned the devices. But it was all too late for that.
"Ianto, how can I ever make up for what I've done?"
"YOU CAN'T! Just let me jump! Just let me end this bloody misery!" Ianto was crying.
"If that's what it takes." Jack said.
Ianto opened his eyes. Underneath him lay the lifeless body of Jack Harkness.
"YOU BASTARD!" Ianto cried and smashed his fist into the corpse's face.