Disclaimer: same as the first chapter... I still don't own CSI and never ever will :P
Oh and btw, the song is 'She's Gone' by Hall & Oates.. I love this song and had been wanting to use it.
And sorry for those of you who thought this chapter was a little short... I'll try and do better with the next one :)
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He reached up and took off his glasses, pinching the bridge of his nose and then rubbing his eyes. Glancing down at his watch, he noticed that shift was just about over and began to pack up for the evening. He left his office, turning and locking the door behind him before heading down the hallway. A few ' Night, boss' and 'See a tomorrow' s were said, but he didn't reply. He simply nodded his head and kept walking. That's how it had been for the most part over the past four months, so no one seemed to mind much, but they still worried about Gil Grissom's overall well being.
He exited the building and walked to his car, got in and started it. He sat there for a moment, not quite ready to leave. After all, his only reason for going home was no longer there and hadn't been for months. Switching on the radio, he listened for the station he wanted and when he finally found it, the song playing made him wish he hadn't. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes, listening carefully to the tune, letting the lyrics engulf him.
Everybody's high on consolation
Everybody's trying to tell me what's right for me
My daddy tried to bore me with a sermon
but it's plain to see that they can't comfort me
Sorry Charlie for the imposition
I think I've got it, got the strength to carry on
I need a drink and a quick decision
Now it's up to me, ooh what will be
For months now, everyone had been trying to get him to talk about her departure. Nick had invited him out to eat. Catherine had suggested that he go after her and bring her home. Even Hodges had tried to get him to open up while they had been playing his board game prototype after work one shift. Was it really so hard to understand that maybe he didn't want to talk to anyone about it? He had it under control... he was fine... at least, that's what he kept telling himself...
She's Gone Oh I, Oh I'd
better learn how to face it
She's Gone Oh I, Oh I'd
pay the devil to replace her
She's Gone what went wrong
Up in the morning look in the mirror
I'm worn as her tooth brush hanging in the stand
my face ain't looking any younger
now I can see love's taken a toll on me
He looked like hell. He felt like hell, but he kept on going. He'd been pulling a lot of doubles lately, mostly to avoid returning home. People were starting to worry, and he knew it. It was written clearly across their faces; they were afraid he was reverting back to his old ways. Before it was easy not to; Sara had been there to help. But now, she was gone and, as they say, old habits die hard. Less time around people, more time with his bugs and crosswords and books. He had let himself go, in just about every way possible, but he couldn't make it stop alone. He needed her by his side, but it was too late and he was lost.
She's Gone Oh I, Oh I'd
better learn how to face it
She's Gone Oh I, Oh I'd
pay the devil to replace her
She's Gone what went wrong
Think I'll spend eternity in the city
let the carbon and monoxide choke my thoughts away
and pretty bodies help dissolve the memories
but they can never be what she was to me
There were mornings he woke up and wished he hadn't. Then he wouldn't be able to feel how badly his heart ached. He spent more time in the shower than ever, seeing as it was the only place he felt safe to cry. For the first time in 40 years, Gil Grissom actually let himself. The tears spilled out in hot streams and ran down his face as he slowly sank down the side of the shower. Sitting on the floor, he sobbed uncontrollably for at least fifteen minutes, hoping that the hurting would stop. But it hadn't and wouldn't. His heart broke more and more with each day that passed without her.
She's Gone Oh I, Oh I'd
better learn how to face it
She's Gone Oh I, Oh I'd
pay the devil to replace her
She's Gone what went wrong
She's Gone Oh I, Oh I'd
better learn how to face it
She's Gone (she's gone) I can't believe
that She's gone Oh I'd pay the devil
to replace her
She's Gone (she's gone) She's Gone (she's gone) Oh I, She's Gone (she's gone)
As the song faded, Grissom was pulled out of his thoughts by a tapping at his car window. The security guard had come over, noticing that the car had been started but that it hadn't let the lot yet.
" Alright, there, Dr. Grissom?" the young guard asked, a concerned look on his face.
"Hm? Oh yeah, I'm fine. Must've dozed off... long shift" he replied. The guard nodded his head, stepping back and allowing Grissom to leave. As he sat at a red light, he started thinking again. Of her, of course, just like always.
How is she? What's she doing? Does she miss me like I miss her? Does she know that I love her still?
An angry honk from behind brought him back to reality and he continued on driving until he reached the townhouse. He pulled into the driveway and got out of the car, locking it and setting the alarm as he reached into the mailbox. Bills, a few pizza adds, and a letter... addressed to Sara Sidle. As he opened the front door and walked into the living room, he sat down on the couch, the letter in hand. He wanted so badly to open it, see who it was from, but he didn't. He simply set it on the coffee table with the rest of the collection of things that had come for her. He padded his way to their... his bedroom and got ready for bed. There was nothing better for him to do anyways. As he lay down on his side of the bed, he stared up at the ceiling. There was no way he'd be able to sleep.. he'd been thinking of her even more than usual today. he missed everything about her; the way she laughed, the way she smiled, the way she kissed him... made him feel complete and happier than he'd ever been in his entire life. But she was gone, leaving him to a dark and empty life. He wanted to talk to her even if it was just for a minute. At least he'd be able to hear her voice again. But she didn't want to talk to him, at least that's what it seemed like. He hadn't tried calling in over three months after each attempt came with the same result: getting her voice mail. But tonight was his breaking point. He couldn't take it any more. The song, the thoughts and the memories had gotten to him extremely bad today. he reached to his night stand and grabbed his cell phone and dialed her number.
Please, please answer, Sara. I need to talk to you. Tell you how much I love and miss you... how much I need you he thought as the phone rang. It rang once more and he thought ' She's not going to answer... she doesn't want to talk to me"
On the third ring, however, he heard her answer the phone. A moment passed, then another. So much he wanted to say, to tell her, but he just couldn't get the words to come out. Luckily for him, she broke the silence.
"Hello, Gil. I've missed you so much..."
" I've missed you too. I need you, Sara... please come home."