Jack looked at the door. He saw the look on Ianto's face. Ianto ran off and Jack tried to go after him, but Gwen was still on top of him.
"Will you get off me, you bloody mad woman?!"
But Gwen kept kissing him.
"Gwen! I'm kind of trying to be nice, but if you don't cut that out and let me go, I'll have to use force."
Gwen didn't seem to care what Jack said.
"Right, I warned you."
He punched Gwen in the face and took off. Ianto had already left the building; he ran to the SUV and drove to Ianto's apartment.
He saw someone on the roof, looking around and talking to himself. As he climbed the stairs he felt so bad, so guilty, so angry. Why didn't he wait?
Then, he reached the roof.
He saw Ianto standing there; he could see that there were thousands of thoughts going through that head.
He knew how it felt.
He also knew that Ianto wouldn't listen; he knew how everyone seemed so wrong when thoughts like that went through your head.
But he didn't know what else to do.
He tried to reason, but all reason had left the other man's head.
He saw the look on Ianto's face and he knew what it meant.
He held Ianto back, but felt so incredibly guilty. Not only had he caused this, but he also kept the younger man from doing what he had wanted to do himself so many times.
He started crying along with Ianto, he hugged Ianto.
But all Ianto was thinking about was ending it all.
Ending the guilt, stopping the worries, setting himself free.
He didn't just understand what Ianto felt, he felt it himself.
Guilt, more guilt than anyone could ever handle.
Worries; another loved one gone.
All those deaths, all those lives wasted. All that grief.
He knew exactly what Ianto was thinking, he was thinking it himself.
He knew that Ianto would never forgive him.
He knew he'd never forgive himself.
One feeling never changes;
feeling your body meet the concrete,
feeling your last breath leave your body;
again.