Star Ocean! LOL in space …
Chapter 2: To CHIBI or not to CHIBI … what a stupid question
and Albel needs a job...
The announcer guy from Dragon Ball Z: Last time on Star Ocean! LOL in space … Luther is back with a vengeance and chibi powers. Fayt ran in chibi-phobia. While all that was going on Albel was zapped back into the 1990s on TVs Full House. Now Fayt will take an arduous training to beat his new foe.
Fayt: FRIEZAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Wait, I mean LUTHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!
The announcer guy from Dragon Ball Z: Can Fayt beat his revived nemeses? Will Albel escape TV land? Maybe those questions will be answered on today's chapter of Star Ocean! LOL in space … (or maybe not). IT'S GUITAR SOLO TIME! DUH-NUH DUN DUH! DUH NUH NUH NUH NUH! DUN! DUUH! DUUN! DUH NUH NUH NUH!
---
Fayt: Sophia! I have to go take some arduous training.
Sophia: … How surprising, and where might this arduous training be?
Fayt: Snake way! I'll kill myself and go train with King Ki! Then I could go super saiyan! (Imagines self with large golden floaty hair) Then all my problems will be solved.
Sophia: That makes no senses what-so-ever. First off, this isn't the Dragon Ball Z universe.
Fayt: What!? But we had the announcer guy!?
Sophia: It's called a cameo nimrod.
Fayt: But where else can I train if I'm already level 255 with a fully synthesized Levantine, fully refined Valiant Mail, a Tri-emblum, and the Victory Trophy?
Sophia: Tri-Emblum?
Fayt: Yah, I bought it from a rabbit with my college funds.
Sophia: (IDIOT!)
Fayt: I'm as strong as I can be without a cheating device. QUICK! TO THE GAME STORE! I NEED A GAMESHARK!
Sophia: IDIOT! (Short-Strong attack)
Fayt: (Sent into the sky team rocket style) BYE SOPHIA! I'LL BE BACK WHEN MY POWER LEVEL IS OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND!
Sophia: (Panting) If there is another stupid Dragon Ball Z joke, I'm going to kill.
Fighting evil by moon light! Winning love by daylight! Never running from a real fight! She is the one called Sailor-
Sophia: Okay keep the DBZ! Just not Sailor Moon! We don't want to be sued for copyright infringement.
(Meanwhile! In the sky with Fayt)
Fayt: FLYING NIMBUS! (The flying Nimbus appears and catches him) Good thing my thoughts are pure. NAKED SOPHIA! (Falls off cloud) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
--------Time for everyone's favorite show! Full Nox--------
Albel: I hate everything.
(Laugh track plays)
Albel: I hate the laugh track.
(Laugh track plays)
Albel: I will kill the laugh track.
(Laugh track plays)
Jesse: What you up to, blond ends?
Albel: The usual, sideburns.
Jesse: Oh, breaking the forth wall.
(Laugh track plays)
Albel: FOR THE LOVE OF APRIS! IF THAT THING PLAYS ONE MORE TIME I'M GOING TO MURDER SOMEONE!
(Laugh track plays)
Albel: DIEEEE-(zapped)-AHHHHH
Jesse: Seriously blond tips you need to stop doing that.
Albel: (smoked) …FU-(zapped)-GAAAH!
(Laugh track plays)
Jesse: Just what we need another comedian.
Joey: Well he can't be as good as me (pop-eye chuckle)
Albel: DO THAT AGAIN, WORM! I DARE YOU!
Joey: Well someone woke up on the wrong side of the dungeon.
(Laugh track plays)
Joey: Oh c'mon cut-it-out.
(Laugh track plays)
Albel: Must … not … kill … will … only … get … zapped …
Jesse: Oh by the way you need to get a job.
Albel: DIE! (Touches sword) (Zapped) GAAAAAAH!
---Full Nox will be right back after a word from our sponsors … FROM THE FUTURE---
Weight loss pill salesman … OF THE FUTURE!: Tired of competing with size -3 models? Super bulimia not cutting it? So self-conscious you look like lard lad's over weight friend that he stands next to you to feel better about himself when you look at yourself in the mirror. Ultra-laxatives giving you diarhea? Well now is the time to get SUPER-MEGA-ULTRA-WEIGHT LOSS PILLS OF THE FUTURE! With these pills, models will puke at the sight of your figure (then again it doesn't take much to get them to do that). Just listen to our former customers!
Former Customer number 1: I'm so hungry I could die… I'm so hungry I could die… I'm so hungry I could die… But I'm thin! (Looks at the camera, winks and smiles, and passes out).
Former Customer number 2: (Too busy puking to notice the camera).
Former Customer number 3: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GET ME SOME FOOD! (Fights way to donuts)
Security: Those are our donuts!
Weight loss pill salesman … OF THE FUTURE!: Don't pay attention to them. Get some pills.
-------And back to Fayt------------
(Lands in front of a gate)
Fayt: Where am I? (Reads sign) Chibi world?...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
It's a chibi world after all!
It's a chibi world after all!
It's a chibi world after all!
And I don't know the rest of the words!!!
Fayt: (fetal position) MAKE THE CHIBI GO AWAAAAAAY!!!
Shadowy person: No! Fayt! Now is the time for you to overcome your fears!
Fayt: Who are you?
Shady person: My visage is too much for you right now.
Fayt: I can take it.
Shady person: (reveals self to be…A GIANT CHIBI!)
Fayt: Homina-homina-homina-homina
Giant chibi: Well…
Fayt: (screams like a little girl)
Giant chibi: NO! Fayt now is the time for you to overcome your fear of chibis! Now is the time to join our ranks as a warrior of the chibi! Like Lenneth and Freya before you now you must become chibi!
Fayt: But what about Luther? Didn't he come hear to become chibi?
Giant chibi: Luther uses the dark side of chibi powers! He trained in an evil place, AN EVIL CHIBI PLACE!
Fayt: Ohhh kaaay…This is getting too weird.
Giant chibi: You think it's weird now? Just wait a few more chapters and your perspective on the levels of weirdity will come crashing down.
Fayt:…Should I be afraid?
Giant chibi: You have no idea how afraid you should be.
Fayt: Great.
Giant chibi: Back to the subject at hand. YOU MUST CONQURE YOUR FEARS OF CHIBI! CHIBI SQUAD ASSEMBLE!
Chibi squad: Chibi! Chibi-bi! Chibi!
Fayt: OMcL! Not the uber cute the only word you can say is your name! AAAAHHHHH!
Chibi squad: CHIBI-BI-CHI!
Fayt: AAAAHHHH! (runs like his life depends on it…pathetic)
Giant chibi: AFTER HIM!
Fayt: (backed into a corner)
Chibi squad: CHIBI!
Fayt: (Hallucinating) I'm sorry daddy, I didn't mean to break the doggy, NO! NOT THE OVEN! I DON'T LIKE FAYT-BERRY BREAD! AAAAHHHH!
Gaint chibi: Uhhhh…
Chibi squad: Chiiii…..
Fayt: AAAAHHHHH!
(Boy on golden in-line skates comes out of nowhere and hits Fayt with his golden bat and skates off)
Giant chibi: That isn't a good sign.
--------Now back to everyone's favorite show! Full Nox-----
Albel: (looking for a job in a newspaper) Damn this reality to hell! What can I do besides kill?
DJ: You can work as a butcher.
Albel: After cutting up humans, it just isn't the same to rip anything else limb from limb.
DJ: You say the darnest things Uncle Nox.
(Laugh track plays)
Albel: …Must…control…self…
DJ: Well what did you major in college?
Albel: …college? What is that?
DJ: You've never been to college. What about high school?
Jesse: Hah, I told you I wasn't the only one. Your Uncle Nox and I are kindred spirits.
DJ: But what about high school?
Albel: High school? Isn't there just school?
---Flash back to Lil'Albel in school---
(equivalent of grade 5)
School kids: (Chanting as they walk around Lil'Albel in circles) You wears ski-irts. You wear ski-irts. You wears ski-irts. You wears ski-irts.
Lil'Albel: Shut up maggots!
School kids: You wears ski-irts.
Lil'Albel: Shutup! One day I'll be a super model! And then everyone will wear my fashion!
Gou Nox: Sorry son, you get to be a transvestite killing machine.
Lil'Albel: Awww….
------Back to the present-----
Albel: I DON'T WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL! I DON'T WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL! I DON'T WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL!
Joey: That's what I said when they told me I had no life, but look where I am now… I'm a single man living in my best friends crowded house.
Jesse: You can lament over your pathetic excuse of a life later. Right now we need to get this guy in school.
Albel: NO! THEY'LL JUST MAKE FUN OF ME.
Jesse: I do that already, so what's the difference.
Albel: SHUT UP WORM!
Jesse: Don't make me bring Danny in this. He'll give you a patented father speech, have sappy music play, you two will hug, and then the "Awww" track plays…I'm getting goosebumps thinking about it.
Albel: NO!
Jesse: Fine then. DANNY!
Danny: What, I'm in the middle of cleaning the coffee machine.
(Laugh track plays)
Albel: Hate rising…
Jesse: Give him #34
Danny: The "You need to go to school" one.
Jesse: That's the one…OMcL I memorized your speeches…
(Laugh track plays)
Albel: HATE SURGING.
Danny: Okay Albel well you need to go to school because…
(One patented father speech, sappy music, a hug, and the "Awww" track later)
Albel: Okay, I'll go to school…WAIT HOW ON EARTH DID YOU GET ME TO GO TO SCHOOL!
Adray: (watching from wherever the hell he is) The magic 90s sitcom sappy moments.
Albel: I hate you.
DJ: So when did you drop out Uncle Nox?
Albel:…Well I can count as high as…7…
(Kindergarden)
Lil'kindergarden kids: (Dancing around in circles) You wear ski-irts. You wear ski-irts. You wear ski-irts.
Albel: I hate everything.
----------And back to Fayt overcoming his chibi-phobia---------
Fayt: DON'T WELD ME TO THE WALL MOM! I'LL BE GOOD!
Giant Chibi: … Uhhh …
Chibi squad: Chiiiii…..
Fayt: AAHHHH CHIBIS!
Giant Chibi: WHY THE HELL ARE YOU SO AFRAID OF CHIBIS! Lenneth and Freya aren't that tough with a couple hundred stun-bombs, FAM on, and copying what fxm508 does (go watch his/her videos on youtube, they're insane!). WHY ARE YOU SO AFRAID OF CHIBIS!
Fayt: Well…
(Flash back time)
Lil'Fayt: Daddy what are you doing?
Fayt's dad: I'm making clones of you so I can copy the star wars movies! Oh, and I need backups in case you can't beat god.
Lil'Fayt: Huh?
Fayt's dad: However the clones came out chibi.
Lil'Fayt: Huh?
Fayt's dad: And that one is making out with Sophia!
Lil'Fayt: WHAT! But I want to make out with Sophia.
(End flash back scene)
Giant Chibi: JUST BECAUSE THEY MADE OUT WITH YOUR YET TO BE GIRLFRIEND!
Fayt: They also gave wedgies, and noogies, and wet-willies, and indian burns, and pink bellies, and ect…
Giant Chibi: … okay … JUST GET OVER YOUR FEAR OF CHIBIS!
Chibi squad: CHIBI-CHIBI!
Fayt: AHHH! CHIBIS!
Giant Chibi: (We're going in circles...) OKAY NEW PLAN! We will hypnotize you.
(7 hours later)
Fayt: I'm a pretty girl. I'm a pretty girl. I'm a pretty girl.
Giant Chibi: …Uhh, let's try again.
(More hours later)
Fayt: I was born in 12 million log cabins.
Giant Chibi: TRY AGAIN!
(Even more hours later)
Fayt: Chibis are the best! Chibis are the answer to all of lifes questions. 2 2 Chibi. How many presidents do we have? Chibi amounts. What is the answer to life's greatest question? Chibi.
Giant Chibi: Close enough! BEGIN TRAINING!
DBZ announcer guy: With Fayt rifd of his fear of chibis, can he become one? Find out on the next Dragon Ball-
Sophia: THIS ISN'T DBZ! (sends Announcer guy flying)
Extras------------
(What's Luther been doing?)
Berial, Azezar, and Belzeber: (Tied up)
Chibi Luther: YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD TAKE OVER MY COMPANY WHILE I WAS OUT!
Azezar: Well…
Berial: Uhhh…
Belzeber: Yaah…
Chibi Luther: Well, I need bumbling henchmen that will do me more bad then good, and you three fit the bill. CHIBI RAY!
Azezar, Berial, and Belzeber: NO! WE DON'T WANT TO BE CHIBIS!
Chibi Luther: WHEN I'M DONE WITH YOU YOU'LL BE MORE THEN JUST CHIBI! YOU'LL BE SO CUTE THAT PEOPLE WILL PUKE AT THE SIGHT OF YOUR CUTENESS!
Announcement: Submit what you want Chibi Luther to turn the trio into! Now is your chance to make their lives a living hell!
Azezar, Berial, and Belzeber: WAAAHHH!
(Chibi Freya and Chibi Lenneth)
Chibi Freya: We're getting a side story! This is it! My time to be a star! (gliettery eyes)
Chibi Lenneth: … I must find more souls to turn into my demonic army.
Lloyd from tales of symphonia: La-dee-da. I'm an idiot. La-dee-da. Being an idiot is fun.
Chibi Lenneth: (murders) Oh poor soul killed in combat by a random assailant.
Chibi Freya: Random assailant…right…
Chibi Lenneth: SHUSH! Oh poor soul. Your soul belongs to me.
More announcements: Who else can Lenneth "convince" to join her army of the undead.
Fin