Disclaimer: They are not mine…just playing.

Thanks Kathy!

-------------------------Beyond Blue----------------------------

When Harm and Mac came into the kitchen it was evident to all she had been crying but no comment was made. Harm ate most of his meal whilst Mac ate very little, pushing food around her plate. For a marine with an appetite that was often the base of many Harm jokes this was an uncommon occurrence but no comment was made. When the dishes were cleared Mac gave her thanks to Harriet for her hospitality and made excuses for her necessary departure. Bud knew her pretence of an early briefing was a lie but made no comment.

She said her goodbyes and saw herself to the door. In the solitude of her car she gave way to the pain inside her and sobbed loudly. She held onto the steering wheel for support as the sobs violently wracked her body. She wanted to scream but no voice came to her throat.

Bud was aware something was not quite right as he had not heard her car pull away. He went to the window and pulled back the curtain. He saw Mac and knew she had to grieve this situation just as he and Harriet had done. He drew the curtain as Harriet approached. "What were you looking at, honey?"

His first thought was to lie but he couldn't. He pulled the curtain again and revealed the distressing scene before dropping the curtain.

"And you were just going to leave her? Oh, Bud."

Harriet made her way to the door but Harm stopped her. He had caused this and he would try and make it better.

He quietly went to her corvette and opened the driver's door. Whilst she hadn't expected him she wasn't startled, she was too upset to feel any other emotion. He knelt beside the open door and put his arms around her.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry," was all she kept repeating into his chest.

When her sobs had eased to a few sniffles he released her and stood up. He took her hand and helped her out of the car; she was in no state to drive anywhere. He led her up to the porch and they sat on the bench.

"What do you have to be so sorry for?" Harm asked holding her hand in his.

"You have been in so much pain and I contributed so much to it. If I…if I..." She took a deep breath. "I have been so caught up in my life and you have always been there for me, even after I have treated you badly. I mean you have every reason to hate me and you have always continued to be there and yet…and yet when you need someone I don't…I don't…even realise it and…and…" She stopped but he didn't argue the point. He had been there for her over the years regardless of what she had or hadn't done. Now, in what felt like his darkest period it seemed she was nowhere to be seen. He knew it wasn't her fault this time, he had been keeping up a good front where she was concerned nearly until the day she went on assignment. She had no choice in her TAD and he had not communicated with her in her absence, not about anything that mattered anyway. She wasn't really to know how desolate things had gotten.

"How were you to know? I mean I didn't let you in. I didn't ask for your help. I didn't…"

"I should have known. I consider you to be my best friend," she said, looking at him through red rimmed eyes. "I should have been there for you."

"Well, you're here now," he said and pulled her towards him. In the cold, still night they sat in each others arms until Bud came out to get them.

"Guys, it's nearly midnight and it's so cold out there. Come on in, you don't want to get that cold back Harm."

Mac stood at once, she didn't want Harm to get sick again, one problem at a time was enough. She took his hand and pulled him up.

"Go inside and get some sleep," she said before kissing his cheek and stepping away.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"Home."

"Don't. Please stay with me," he asked quietly. "I want…I need you to stay."

Mac readily agreed and by the time the mantel clock struck midnight she was laying next to him in his bed, her head resting on his chest, his arm around her, her arm across him. There was nothing sexual about it. It was about comfort and Harm's need to be with the one person who knew him better than himself. He closed his eyes and smiled, she had only been back a few hours and yet he felt better than he had in a long time. He drifted off to sleep and slept peacefully and deeply, something else that had not happened in a long time.

Wednesday 1045

Mac's Office

Mac put down the receiver and smiled to herself. She had just spoken to Harriet and Harm hadn't long been up. She had said he looked well rested and happier than he had since he moved in. Harriet had even thanked Mac for staying and invited her to stay again. Then she thought better of it and asked Mac to come to dinner and see if Harm wanted her to stay again.

"Penny for your thoughts, Mac," said Sturgis from the doorway.

"Not even for a dollar," she smiled at him. "What can I do for you?"

"Some information, if you can."

"If I can."

"What can you tell me about our Commander who is missing in action?"

"Our Commander?"

"Harm! What's going on with him?"

"He's been sick."

"And…?"

"And…he should be back next week."

"So what aren't you telling me?"

Mac sat and contemplated her words. Harm didn't need his problems known at the office and while it was true that Sturgis was a long time friend and not just a colleague she wasn't sure.

"Mac, I know Harm hasn't been …Harm for a while now. I've spoken to him a couple of times about it in the last three months but he kept fobbing me off. I even arranged for dad to speak to him by "accidentally" running into him here one night about a month ago. Dad never told me what they spoke about but I got the feeling he was quite concerned. Then he moved into Bud and Harriet's on the pretence of having his apartment fumigated and now he is off sick for a week and a half with a cold. What gives?"

"He has had a cold," said Mac in Harm's defence.

"Mac?"

"Harm hasn't been too happy with the way things have been going in his life lately. He …he…"

"He's depressed, isn't he?"

"Yeah," Mac said sadly.

"What can we do?"

"Be there for him. Don't give up on him. Keep…"

"Keep? Keep loving him?"

"Yeah."

2130

Roberts Residence

When Mac finally arrived at the Roberts house she met Sturgis on his way out.

"I just called by to say hello to the patient," he smiled as they stopped on the driveway. "And I ate your dinner," he added.

"How was it?" she asked.

"Beautiful! Roast lamb, potatoes…"

"I meant with Harm."

"I know. It went alright, he seemed happy enough to see me. We talked about things in general, nothing too specific and he even laughed at a joke I told."

"He must be feeling better because I've heard your jokes and they aren't that funny."

"Gee, thanks Mac," said Sturgis feigning offence.

Mac let herself into the house and found her friends still sitting in the kitchen.

"Hi there, I hope you don't mind me letting myself in. I know it's late."

"You are more than welcome here anytime day or night," Harriet answered. Mac eyes remained on Harm, he smiled and she felt better.

"Have you eaten?" Bud asked standing from the table.

"No, but it's alright. Sturgis told me he ate my dinner."

"He did no such thing, Mac. I kept yours safe from the hungry hoards," laughed Harriet as she removed Mac's plate from the oven.

Both she and Bud excused themselves and left their friends to chat quietly in the kitchen.

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