So, here ya go, a lil' break from all the seriousness and sappiness to have some fun in the mud!
O.o that came out wrong.
Funny fact: readers are pervs – 130-something of you have clicked on this story at the mention of boy love, but only 86 of you kept reading after the promise of no lemons. I applaud you 86 people for forgiving me for the sake of bishonen "romance." Thank you.
Funny fact 2: Kisame is Canadian, give it up. Just watch the anime and count how many times he says "desu ne?" (which is roughly "eh?" in Japanese!)
Funny fact 3: putting Nesquik mix on your afternoon cereal is dangerous in all of the right ways. :P
Oh, and let's all pet Akamaru to comfort him from the mere notion of the previously noted crack pairing.
-Holds up Akamaru so that readers can pet him-
Enjoy!
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Itachi woke to the sound of trickling water punctuated by soft snores. It took him a second to realise the source of each one.
Trickling water.
So he was by the river, okay. So Kisame would scream at him for being late, fine. So he would have stiff muscles after sleeping on the ground...whatever.
Soft snores.
So he was accompagnied, okay. So Sasori was sprawled on top of him, fine-
Whoa, not so fine. Pause, rewind.
And play.
Itachi's eyes widened to the size of saucers as yesterday's events slowly spun around him.
Talking, flirting, kissing.
But no sex. None.
Good.
Okay, and back to the present.
He raised his head slightly to see a mess of red hair blowing in the gentle wind. Sasori's head was lying on his right shoulder, and kept repositioning itself in a quest to get comfortable; he was still asleep. Itachi smiled as he raised an arm to rest a hand on Sasori's back, that rose and fell with each breath.
Itachi watched him dream (why else would he flinch like that every so often?) in silence, letting the forest's peaceful sounds do the talking.
He felt like the world ended at the edge of the clearing where he lay, with his lover, enjoying freedom that would never wither.
But he remembered the responsibilities that awaited him, his missions and tasks of utmost importance in Pein's scheme.
He just didn't give a shit.
Itachi brought the arm that had been petting Sasori's back to his own face, checking for blood. He still had to tend to yesterday's injury.
Suddenly, Sasori tensed above him, his shoulder driving into Itachi's stomach and his knee digging into his shin. Itachi winced.
Then, once he calmed down, he noticed just how Sasori was positionned on top of him: his body lay diagonally along his, his head on his right shoulder and his knees on either side of Itachi's left leg, one hand weakly gripping his left shoulder, and the other...
Itachi blushed. "I hope you didn't do that on purpose," he muttered darkly, his face still flush.
Sasori chuckled. "I thought you'd never wake up," he said as he grinned up at him. Itachi mumbled something about faking just to get a confession out of him, but Sasori got up and silenced him with a kiss on the forehead. They stared at each other for a few seconds, the same serene smile gracing both of their lips.
"You're annoying, you know that?" Itachi said, trying to sound irritated. Sasori ignored him, eyes half-closed and lips closing in on his forehead once again. Itachi let him go, until he felt his tongue against his temple. "Hey, what's that for?" he asked, backing away at the touch.
"You're still bleeding," was all he said, as he continued to lick the blood off. Itachi squirmed. "What?" he asked when Itachi pushed him away.
"...you're disgusting."
Sasori smirked as an idea formed in his head.
"Maybe I am, then again, maybe I'm just avoiding embarassing questions."
"...?" Itachi opened his eyes tentatively. "Questions?"
"Yeah. If we go back to the hideout and you're all covered in blood, they'll think I have a sadistic fetish or something," he said, closely watching Itachi's reaction. He gulped.
Fetish?
Images ran through Itachi's mind. Bad images. Bad, naughty images. Bad, naughty, explicit images.
Blood slowly climbed up to his face, staining his skin from the inside. He'd bet he had smoke coming out of his ears, too.
Can't...mustn't...imagine...no...fetishes...sadistic...embarassing...questions...blood...sadistic fetishes...fetishes...oh crap...
...and then he fell over under the shock of a major nosebleed.
"Aw, man, now I'll have to wash you entirely," Sasori whined, though he was grinning.
"Can't...no...not...mustn't...might..." Itachi stammered, still frozen on the spot and red in the face. He saw Sasori towering over him, releasing yet another wave of images, no, scenes, through his mind. Another nosebleed was coming on.
"Pervert," Sasori said numbly, although his eyes twinkled.
Crash
The sky suddenly split open with a shriek, unleashing a deafening downpour upon them. They looked at each other in alarm as thunder rumbled under their feet, and a frayed ribbon of white and pale yellow drove into the ground, right at the edge of the flickering forest.
Sasori reacted first. Itachi felt his wrist being tugged on.
"...what?" he asked distractedly.
"We're gonna get roasted, let's go."
And he pulled him to his feet. Itachi shook himself, splattering water droplets everywhere.
"Watch where you do that," Sasori muttered, having gotten most of them in the face. Itachi cracked a grin.
"What, this?" and he wrung his ponytail high above Sasori's head, sending tiny beads of water through his hair and down his cloak. Sasori grumbled dark promises under his breath. "You're so funny," Itachi said with a smile, walking ahead.
"Huh?" Sasori asked, still standing in the same spot.
"...oh, nothing, just that you whined when I bumped your nose, and now you're getting mad 'cause you got hit by a couple raindrops."
Sasori growled, and pushed Itachi into a muddy pit.
"Hey!"
"Well, look who's complaining now," Sasori taunted, skipping ahead of him and wagging his butt in his face as he passed by.
"Why, you little-"
"I'm bigger than you!" Sasori trilled sharply.
Itachi paused for a moment, in the middle of getting up, and flushed a deep scarlet.
"You really are a pervert," Sasori said, amazed that it took him so little time to think.
"Shut up," he muttered, and soon Sasori was getting a close-up view of the murky puddle right in front of him.
"H-hey!" Sasori cried, sputtering water.
"Catch me if you can!" Itachi sang, sprinting up ahead.
Sasori raced after him, trying to wring his shirt of the dirty wetness as he ran.
"Just wait 'til I..." he grumbled to himself, hearing the shouts of amusement coming from Itachi somewhere in front to the right. His shirt swung heavily against his frame as he ran, and soon he took it off all together and slung it over his neck. He ran on for a full minute more, until he saw Itachi standing still in a clearing at the edge of the forest, with the familiar door of the hideout in the backround.
The thought hit him a second after it hit Itachi.
Sasori looked quickly up at the sun: It was off-centre in the sky, meaning it couldn't be much earlier than mid-afternoon.
Damn, and I even asked Pein to trade so I could get a mission today!
Itachi looked back at him with what was probably the same stunned expression.
We're screwed.
On cue, both Deidara and Kisame exited the hideout, conversing animatedly and fully geared for their respective missions.
Kisame was the first to look up with a lost expression, to be followed by Deidara, who, although not scowling outright, seemed to shake in his cloak.
For this was what they saw:
Itachi, cloak-less and caked with with blood, mud smearing his hands and knees, with loose, messy, and dripping-wet hair.
...which wasn't so bad in itself, but were it not for:
Sasori, shirtless, bruised, and tousled, pants askew and revealing half his boxers.
...they wouldn't have reacted the way they did.
Sasori and Itachi were, of course, oblivious to the (naughty) image they were giving.
"You...you perverts!" Deidara cried, balling his fists. Kisame had to grab him by the shoulder to stop him from storming towards them and hitting Sasori.
"Bag it, Deidara. You need to stop drawing conclusions too quickly," he whispered forcefully. He then turned to Sasori and Itachi. "Pein's furious. Might wanna get your cloaks and get to work, 'cause he'll go crazy if we fail the mission on top of everything."
He gave Itachi a serious look.
"Fine, I'll get our cloaks," Sasori sighed, and dissapeared back into the forest.
Itachi watched his muscled back for a moment, ignoring the hot stare he felt on the back of his head.
"Might want to follow him, Deidara," he said nonchalantly. "Wouldn't want to make him wait, would you? Come on, Kisame," he said, already headed in that direction. He heard Kisame sigh and Deidara mutter something under his breath, soon followed by grudging footsteps.
"And I don't want to know what happened, got that?" Kisame hissed as he passed him, in hurry to get started. Itachi watched him go with a small smile.
There was a silence, as he and Deidara plodded on side by side. Itachi could practically hear the anger vibes emanating from him. He felt a slight superiority complex as he thought about how his relationship with Sasori had been nothing but psychological compensation (or whatever it was Sasori had said last night,) whereas his relationship was the real thing. He cracked a grin at Deidara.
"Make sure he doesn't get hurt today, 'kay?" he told him airily, skipping ahead to reach Sasori first.
He didn't see Deidara smile almost serenely as he left.
"You must really not know him, to worry for his safety like that. Danna can take care of himself, idiot," he whispered, still smiling.
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Sasori grinned at Kisame. He'd always found the blue man very straightlaced, and could only laugh inwardly as he imagined what was probably going on in Kisame's mind right now.
"...could've at least waited 'til after the mission...stupid ass, probably thought...too repressed for his own good...bound to happen sometime..." he muttered darkly under his breath, and Sasori could only smirk as he picked up Itachi's cloak, and raised his head to say,
"Well, speak of the devil, there's Itachi now," and turn to face Itachi who, sure enough, stood at the edge of the clearing. Kisame had been too engrossed in his own thoughts to hear Itachi's footsteps. Itachi said nothing and walked right up to Kisame.
Sasori's shoulders drooped a little when he saw Itachi avoid his fingers as he snatched his cloak from him on the way. Not even a 'bye' was uttered.
He and Kisame both watched Itachi leave.
"You be careful this time, Kisame. I don't want him bleeding like he was yesterday," he said sternly. Kisame followed his colleague, and Sasori smiled while hearing Deidara enter the clearing, and hugged his cloak to himself.
You idiot, Kisame thought. It's your own damn fault he gets distracted.
- - - - - - - - - -
To be continued!
Only one or two chapters seperate me from playing with your minds! -evil laugh-
Note: I'm sorry about the whole "Deidara is a Molester" thing. It wasn't what I was looking for. I actually think he's really cool, and I've always wanted to hug him after he made that "I want to surpass the Uchihas!" speech. So -please- don't hold it against me. Heck, I'll write a one-shot or something (with Kisame!! didn't you notice? I'm a KisaDei fan all the way! squeeee!!)
So give give him a hug for me, and I'll see you some time.
Love!
Shun