Superheroes (Scene 1)

Requested by stormantia (again): ...S...Superheroes...?

This has got to be the shortest request in the whole batch – but sometimes, additional detail really isn't necessary.

Saving the life of Doumeki Shizuka was rapidly turning into the biggest mistake Watanuki had ever made.

"No I'm not. Don't be ridiculous," he protested helplessly. "I don't look anything like him!"

"Yes you do," said Doumeki. "The only difference is that you're wearing glasses. And no spandex. No cape either. I liked the cape," he added.

This was completely unfair. No-one ever recognised him out of costume! And maybe that was just because it wouldn't occur to them that quiet, mild-mannered Watanuki could ever be a superhero, or maybe it was just because when you were a sidekick to Yuuko no-one much noticed you at all, but it had always worked perfectly well before. The nerve of his guy – recognising him in public, of all things – it was beyond all reasonable belief.

"It wasn't my cape!" Watanuki wailed.

"The spandex didn't really suit you though," said Doumeki thoughtfully.

"It wasn't my idea!"

Doumeki raised an eyebrow.

"And it wasn't my spandex!" Watanuki amended quickly. "On account of how whoever you saw wasn't me!"

Doumeki's other eyebrow joined the first one. Watanuki swallowed nervously. Damn Yuuko and her damn spandex. He'd never liked wearing it anyway. "I don't know what's going through that crazy head of yours, but…"

Doumeki reached out suddenly and had pulled Watanuki's glasses away from his face before their owner had any time to realise what he was doing. He peered speculatively into Watanuki's face with such an intense expression that eventually Watanuki gave in just to make him stop doing it. A horrible possibility struck him. "Oh my god!" he shrieked, "You're a supervillain, aren't you? That's the only possible way you could have been able to see through my disguise!"

"Am not," said Doumeki.

"You must be!" Watanuki wailed. "It explains everything!"

"Like why you had to save my life yesterday?" said Doumeki.

"Obviously that was all part of your evil play to get close enough that you could find out my secret identity!"

"So I could confront you about it at school today?"

"Yes! That's exactly the sort of thing a supervillain would do!"

"Why?" said Doumeki.

"So you could scare me by making me think my whole secret was in danger! It all makes sense now! Wait, where are you going?"

"Anywhere there's no-one accusing me of supervillainry would do," said Doumeki, without turning around.

Watanuki watched him go, unsure precisely how this behaviour fit into his supervillain theory but certain he'd figure it out. It wasn't until Doumeki had made it around the next corner that his internal reality-check kicked in long enough to make him yell, 'Wait!' and run after.

Doumeki did wait, which was more than Watanuki would have given him credit for. "Still not a supervillain," he said, once his pursuer had caught up. Watanuki ignored him.

"You can't tell anyone else about me," he hissed desperately. "It's really important."

"Can't I?" said Doumeki. He was obviously going to make this difficult.

"Please!" said Watanuki helplessly. "I'm begging you not to." Doumeki looked amused by this, which had to be a bad sign. "Oh god," Watanuki muttered in shock. "You're going to blackmail me, aren't you?"

"Why not?" said Doumeki thoughtfully. "What are you offering?"

Watanuki wracked his brains for any clue as to what a villain like Doumeki might expect from him, but he didn't have the faintest idea. "What do you want me to offer?"

"I don't know," said Doumeki thoughtfully. "You could buy me lunch."

Watanuki deflated slightly. He was painfully aware Doumeki was mocking him, but equally aware he was getting off lightly and shouldn't complain. "Oh, fine," he grumbled. "But – I honestly don't have any money on me today."

"You could give me your lunch," suggested Doumeki.

Sacrifices, Watanuki thought to himself, as he fished out his lunchbox. Being a superhero was all about making sacrifices. No wonder he hated it so much. You'd think protecting the city from alien invaders was enough, but no, he had to deal with Doumeki as well.

"Here!" he snapped, thrusting the lunchbox at his new, least-favourite supervillain. "But that's the end of it, understand? And don't go thinking I'm ever saving your life again!"

(Prize to anyone who can tell me what Watanuki's superhero name is, and what his superpower actually are. Keep in mind that it does seem likely that Yuuko may not actually possess any superpowers of her own (or at least none Watanuki knows for sure about) and that her role may very well be to do little more than pose dramatically on the tops of buildings while Watanuki does all the hard work. And of course to keep him supplied with spandex.)