Superheroes (Scene 2)

I wasn't actually planning to continue this one, being rather stuck on that little issue of just what superpowers Watanuki actually had. However, as luck would have it, a couple of reviewers were clever enough to give me a couple of suggestions which I liked far too much not to use (thanks guys!)

Watanuki actually had three different superpowers. The first was the ghost vision that allowed him to see the giant spirit-monsters that would periodically appear and go rampaging through the city.

"Invisible monsters?" said Doumeki. "Didn't notice any."

"Of course you didn't!" Watanuki spluttered. "On account of that bit where they are invisible!"

"Huh," said Doumeki, and continued eating Watanuki's lunch.

"What did you think happened to that building you were in?"

"Freak structural failure?" suggested Doumeki.

"Then what do you think I was doing out there the whole time?"

"Sort of flailing around. Looked like you were having fun."

"You are the only person on the planet who would think that saving idiots from giant, invisible monsters that they did not even know were there was fun!"

Doumeki shrugged and swallowed his sushi.

Watanuki's second superpower - the only one that was directly useful when it game to the fighting part of his job, and yet still the one he most dreaded anyone ever finding out about - was the ability to extend his arms and legs as though his entire body resembled nothing so much as a giant elastic band.

"So," said Doumeki speculatively, "what other parts of your body can you extend?"

"Oh, thank you," said Watanuki curtly, "you would really not believe how old that gag does not get when it gets made by every person who ever learns I can do that."

"You're welcome," said Doumeki. Watanuki nearly hit his head on his desk.

"What about your nose?" asked Doumeki.

"Yes, fine, my nose extends. That very useful when I need to smell monsters coming around corners. Except where it's totally not. Happy?"

Doumeki gave him a curious look.

"I'm not going to demonstrate!" Watanuki flailed. "We're at school! Anyone could see!"

"Or hear," said Doumeki quietly to himself.

Watanuki's third superpower was the one he was most unequivocally grateful for. It allowed him to regenerate from any injury within a couple of minutes at most - and it got used a lot. Embarrassingly often, in fact - to the point that Watanuki sometimes felt that whoever it was up there who should have been looking out for him had instead decided that giving him that power made it all okay to then give the rest of the universe explicit permission to use him as its personal punching bag. Not that Watanuki was complaining about being able to regenerate though - not in the least.

"Doesn't it still hurt?" asked Doumeki. Something in his expression that Watatanuki couldn't quite read made him want to apologise for something he knew he hadn't done and explain quickly before there were any further misunderstandings, which was really very annoying.

"Hardly, there's just a bit of a sting then it all heals up, and I'm fine and can go back to fighting."

"...until the monster stabs you in the same place all over again."

"Very sorry if my weak spots start getting a bit obvious for them! It isn't like I mean for them to do that!"

"It can't be much fun though."

"No, really, " said Watanuki, in his ongoing quest to make Doumeki understand sarcasm by shear repetitive effort, "getting treated like a shish-kebab by alien ghost monsters is the best part of my job."

"It isn't much fun to watch either."

"You wouldn't have to watch if you hadn't picked up this insane habit of wandering into mortal danger just to make me rescue you again three times a week!"

Doumeki shrugged. "I don't mean for that to happen either."

There was a tense silence where both stared at the other. Watanuki gave in first.

"Fine! Just to save your poor sensibilities, in future I will try very hard not to let myself take minor, non-fatal injuries while trying to save the city from invisible invaders that no-one realises are there!"

The tense silence was replaced by one of those awkward pauses where Watanuki wondered whether either of them had any idea what they were talking about or what was going on here.

"Thank you," said Doumeki evenly.

"Don't mention it," muttered Watanuki, wondering just what he'd agreed to.

"So what's for lunch today?"

"You've already eaten it!"

"Oh," said Doumeki, sounding disappointed.