Jacob is such a real character to me. He is just like any other person finding love and losing it for the first time. Can you see some of yourself in him?

Thanks to Kate Pedroso for the wonderful beta!

Disclaimer: All characters belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer and her Twilight series. Stephenie, I hope I did Jacob justice.

I walked toward the edge of the forest, headed in the direction of my tattered little garage. It was later in the evening, the last of the sun lighting my way. The way to my little Taj Mahal. I smiled at that and then winced at the piercing pain in my chest. I pushed the thought away. I swept aside the tarp hanging over the back wall and opened the trunk of my old car. I always kept a spare change of clothes in here. I could have walked into the house bare naked and Billy wouldn't have cared, but it still seemed awkward. I just settled for a pair of boxers since I needed a shower anyway.

I made my way toward the house and reached the front stoop before I realized there were voices coming from the kitchen. The voices were low but I must have been distracted not to hear them. My hand reached for the front door knob before I realized who the voices belonged to. Billy was there, of course, and the other voice was as distinct as my own father's. I wonder what Charlie is doing here. I could imagine and it was definitely a topic I wanted to avoid.

I hadn't heard any of the conversation, and I didn't want to. I could just imagine walking through the door. I would look Charlie in the eye and see more of the pity I was trying to avoid. Instead of going in I wheeled around and jogged towards the beach. The place had always seemed like a refuge in the past but I didn't know what kind of feelings it would stir in me now. I worked my way along a shortcut, down a trail, to the sandy shore. I stayed to one side of the beach, purposefully avoiding the other. That bleached out log was now off limits, at least if I wanted to stay somewhat sane.

It was so beautiful here, so calming. I sat down in the sand and pulled my legs close, resting my elbows on my knees, and just stared at the soothing waves flowing back and forth. The sun was setting and at first all I could hear was the lapping of the water upon the rocks. Then an odd sound entered my ears; a gasping sound that was totally out of place.

I broke out of my trance to realize that I was making that noise. My lungs seemed to gasp for air even though I wasn't running. My chest heaved with the effort and all I could do was put my head between my knees to keep everything from going black as stars floated before my eyes. It was then, as I noticed drops falling into the sand, that I realized there were tears running down my face. The pain was a delayed reaction and my body writhed with it. It felt like I was being torn in two. This was different than when my body used to shake with the effort to keep from phasing. I had never felt anything so powerful in my life and I didn't know how to react…so I just gave in to it and my body crumpled sideways into the sand.

I lay there like a child, curled up with my knees to my chest to help me capture whatever little breath I could. I buried my head in my hands. Time passed; the air became cooler, but I didn't look up. All of a sudden I felt the sand near me shift; another warm body sat itself beside me. All I had to do was take a breath to know who it was.

I didn't have the energy to sit up, to shove him away, or to ask that he leave. Sam sat there, not saying a word. He laid a calming hand on my shoulder and it was enough. Sam didn't pity me, he didn't scorn my emotions. He couldn't empathize with my feelings, but he could sympathize. I knew how pathetic I must look, my six foot seven inch muscled frame curled around itself, dried tears mixing with the sand on my face. I could imagine Leah seeing this image in Sam's head and making a mockery out of me. That woke me enough out of my daze to sit up and look at him. He wasn't even looking at me. I realized that he was trying to respect my privacy, so this image wouldn't be passed on to the others, while still being a support. As much as I didn't want to admit it, I needed that. It made me respect him more than ever.

He didn't say a word as I got up, walking slowly towards the ocean. I stopped at the edge of the water, letting it wash over my feet. It was ice cold and exactly what I needed. I dove in headfirst letting the shock of the freezing water jar me. I swam hard and fast. It felt good to stretch my muscles. I stayed under the water until my lungs burned for air. I broke the surface about a hundred yards from shore. The water was churning, pulling me first in one direction and then the other. It felt like an appropriate metaphor for my life right now. I stopped fighting the current and slowly started back, letting the tide carry me in.

I shook my head back and forth as I walked out of the water, my chin length hair spraying water droplets everywhere. Just like a dog, I thought. I walked back up the beach and Sam stood to meet me.

I spoke first, "How did you know I was back?" I was startled, hearing my hoarse voice for the first time in almost two days. It sounded so weak, so strange compared to my naturally deep voice.

"I didn't. I happened to be running near here and picked up your scent." Sam replied. His face was calm, serene, but his eyes were concerned. I could tell that he didn't want to push me away and he didn't want me to run again so he stayed silent.

I could see it so I assured him "I'm not going anywhere." I trudged through the sand to the road nearby. Sam walked noiselessly alongside me, matching my stride. "I don't think I will be running with the pack for….a little while at least. I need to sort this out by myself and I can't do that with everyone inside my head."

Sam didn't look at me as he replied. "Take as much time as you need. None of us will stop by or call unless you specifically ask. The female leech and her army are gone and although I don't exactly trust the Cullen's, I don't feel threatened by them at this time."

A flare of anger seared through me at the mere mention of their name from Sam's lips, and a low growl erupted from deep inside. This was the first time that he had ever recognized them in this fashion, like people instead of the bloodsuckers they really are. A small part of me felt betrayed by this, but the larger part felt fury and hatred and…pure, unadulterated jealousy.